Chapter 11
11
The following morning, Esme was woken by Betty snuffling at her face and whining. Esme rubbed at her eyes and reached for her phone. It was past 9a.m. After a brief bout of insomnia, she had settled into restful sleep. As well as being delicious, the hot chocolate Judd made must have been some kind of magic elixir.
‘Oh, heck, Betty, I’m so sorry! You must be desperate to go out.’ She leapt from the bed and dashed to the door, the little pug following closely behind.
As they reached the kitchen, Judd was sitting at the table drinking coffee. ‘Afternoon, sleepy head!’ he said as she lurched for the back door.
‘ Morning . Poor Betty. I never sleep this late.’
He laughed. ‘You needed it after being wide awake most of the night. And there’s nothing spoiling. Well, apart from your new rug, I suppose.’
Esme glanced over her shoulder to see him smirking. ‘She’s housetrained, don’t worry, and very good, bless her heart. She woke me up to tell me, actually. No accidents thankfully. I’m going to take her out for a bit of a walk around the grounds once I’ve had a shower. I think the fresh air will do us both good.’
‘Mind if I join you?’ Judd asked as he placed down his mug. ‘It’s quite nice out.’
‘Not at all. The human company would be nice.’
‘Human I can offer, although it’s a good thing you didn’t say adult.’ He laughed.
Once she had showered and dressed, Esme slipped on Betty’s harness, grabbed a jacket and met Judd in the hallway.
He had on khaki cargo pants and a navy-blue hoodie with a slogan that read Gardeners Like it Dirty . There was a cartoonish picture of shovels and plant pots beneath the lettering. She sniggered and shook her head.
‘You like?’ he asked as he held out his arms and performed a twirl on the spot, a cheeky grin curling his mouth upwards. ‘Personally, I think it’s rather rude, but you appear to appreciate it, which says quite a lot, I think.’ He chuckled and she rolled her eyes. She couldn’t help liking him and was relieved they were already clicking. He inhaled a deep breath as they left the cottage. ‘It really is a nice day for a walk. You’ve gotta love living here.’
It was fresh and there was an aroma of earth and damp grass in the air. ‘I totally agree,’ she said with a smile as she watched Betty snuffling and sniffing the ground, like she was reading the newspaper and catching up on all the gossip of the castle wildlife. Esme loved spring and the new life it brought in abundance. It made her think of new beginnings and starting over, which she was, of course, doing herself.
They walked along the lane and towards the castle. The sky provided a pretty cornflower-blue backdrop to the ancient building and the sun glinted off the stonework, highlighting the tiny particles of natural glitter therein.
Esme spotted Olivia and Brodie by the castle. Olivia was pushing baby Freya in her pram and together they were the picture of family bliss. Marley wandered along beside them as Wilf, the younger dog, covered twice as much distance running back and forth, back and forth, his tail wagging frantically and his tongue lolling around out of his mouth. They strolled away from the castle towards the loch. Brodie was carrying a picnic basket in one hand and had a tartan blanket under his other arm.
Esme and Judd chatted as they walked, and it felt easy. Betty ran to the full extent of her retractable lead and continued to investigate everything and anything, pausing every so often to sniff the air and listen to sounds carried on the breeze that were imperceptible to the human ear. Esme smiled to herself, a feeling of contentment settling over her. This move had been the best decision.
As they reached the entry to the stable block apartments, Esme glanced over and spotted Zach sitting on a bench outside his accommodation. He wore a navy track suit with chunky designer trainers, and a band t-shirt she couldn’t quite make out. In his hand was an iPad that had evidently wronged him in some way judging by the way he was scowling at it and chewing his lip. As if he sensed them walking close by, he lifted his chin and waved. Esme did the same and Judd followed suit.
‘Nice guy, that Zach. Although did you hear about one of the staff supposedly bothering him?’ He slapped his forehead. ‘Of course you did.’
Esme snapped her attention to him. ‘What do you mean of course I did ?’
Judd frowned. ‘Erm… You sent the email out on behalf of Lady O?’
Relief flooded her. ‘Oh, yes. I did. Of course .’ She gave a light laugh and her stomach twinged with embarrassment as her guilt almost gave her away.
He paused for a moment and lowered his voice. ‘Between you and me, I think I might know who it was.’
Esme’s stomach flipped and she swallowed hard. ‘Oh?’
He chewed his thumbnail for a moment. ‘Yeah. I’m a bit worried that I’m the culprit. I was chatting to him one day last week. Although I was working, and technically he was the one standing talking to me. But… I know I can be a bit full on, so maybe I got on his nerves. I always worry that I talk too much… although sometimes I could be accused of not talking enough.’ He gave a heavy sigh. ‘Life’s a bloody minefield sometimes.’
There was that guilt again, chip, chip, chipping away at Esme’s mind. ‘Oh, no, I’m sure it wasn’t you. And you talk just the right amount so don’t worry.’
‘Judd! Excuse me, Judd!’ They stopped walking and turned to see Eilidh from the film crew waving from across the gravelled area.
‘Aye, what can I do for yous?’ Judd replied.
‘Sorry to be a nuisance but could you come and give us a hand to move one of the planters in the picture gallery, please? We’re just going through the shot list for tomorrow and it’s in the way, but it’s one of the antique ones so we didn’t want to move it ourselves.’
‘Sure, no bother.’ He turned to Esme. ‘See you back at home?’
Esme smiled. ‘See you there.’ She carried on walking but heard the gravel crunching hurriedly behind her.
‘Esme, wait up.’ It was Zach.
She stopped and turned. ‘Oh, hi.’
‘Hey. How are you doing?’ he asked, thrusting his hands into his pockets as usual. For someone who oozed confidence on screen, off screen he appeared to be strangely shy. She could now make out the t-shirt he was wearing was from The Darkness’s latest tour. He smelled fresh like high-end shower gel, and he had the shadow of stubble across his jaw. She imagined what it would feel like to run her fingertips over it and an involuntary shiver trickled down her spine.
She realised she may have stared a moment longer than was acceptable and nodded a little too vigorously to make up for it. ‘Oh, me? Yeah, yeah, I’m good. You?’
‘Meh, you know. Anyway, who’s this cute little fella?’ he asked, crouching to say hello to Betty, whose little curled tail wagged at his soft tone.
‘Erm, this little fella is a girl. She’s called Betty.’
‘Whoops, sorry, Betty. Of course you’re a girl. You’re the cutest girl, aren’t you?’ He scratched the little dog behind her ears and her tongue lolled out.
He stood and they began walking again along a path that would eventually lead to the nursery within the castle grounds. Zach huffed. ‘I’m glad you walked by because I was desperately in need of a break.’
‘How come?’
He ran a hand roughly over his head and shrugged. ‘I’ve been going over the lines for one of my most terrifying scenes of the whole movie.’
Esme’s interest was piqued. ‘So that’s why you were glaring at your iPad as if you’d happily stamp on it. Why is it so terrifying? Don’t you have a stunt double?’
He laughed. ‘It’s not that kind of terrifying. It’s one of the scenes with Ruby. A love scene, actually. I hate filming those because, contrary to what people think, there’s nothing sexy about making out with someone you barely know, with fifty people standing around watching.’
Esme gasped. ‘There’ll be fifty people watching you?’
‘Okay, so maybe that was an exaggeration. But that’s not even the scary bit. She is so incredibly talented, and I…’ He sighed and shook his head. ‘I feel so inferior and unworthy.’
‘Is this you fishing for compliments? Am I supposed to tell you how incredibly talented you are?’ she teased.
He grinned. ‘You can if you like, I’m an actor so obviously I’m all for the ego stroking.’
She rolled her eyes and laughed. ‘I don’t understand why you’d feel inferior though. You’ve been in way more movies than she has. And you’re far more well known.’
‘Doesn’t seem to change anything on this occasion. I’m so nervous which is frustrating because I never get nervous.’
Esme stopped walking. ‘Lucky you. I’m terrified about my play. I’m scared I’ll freeze or make a total fool of myself.’
He turned to face her. ‘You really have no need. From what I’ve seen you’re amazing. And yes, this may sound cliché, but you’re a real natural. You’re believable and your emotions really do shine through, like you feel every line as if you wrote it. And that’s saying something for Shakespeare,’ he held up a hand, ‘and before you jump to conclusions again, I’m not insulting you. I’m saying you deliver the Bard’s words ridiculously well for someone with no professional training. In short, I’m saying you’re really very good. Take a compliment for once.’ He laughed and Esme joined in.
She felt her face heating. ‘Okay, that’s very kind. Thank you.’ She had never been any good at accepting praise, always her own worst critic, but hearing it from Zach Marchand was bizarre to say the least. She felt like she had stepped into the Twilight Zone or some parallel universe where they happened to be friends. How the hell was this her life all of a sudden?
‘I mean it. You really should get an agent. I could put you in touch with some of my contacts.’
Esme’s eyebrows shot up at the mere suggestion. ‘What? Me? Oh, gosh, thanks but I really think I’m past all that, like I said before I’m happy with my life. Am dram is about my level these days.’
‘I think my aunt Sylvia would say there is nothing am about this dram, darling .’ His impersonation of his aunty was spot on and made Esme giggle uncontrollably. Zach laughed along and added, ‘She was quite the star back in the seventies and eighties, you know.’
‘So I understand. She likes to tell us about her on-stage exploits.’
Zach grinned. ‘Oh, I can imagine. She’s certainly a character.’ Their laughter subsided and they carried on walking until they reached the boundary hedge of the nursery. Off in the distance, Kerr and his son were busy tending the plants and singing along to the radio that was perched on a bench just outside the little wooden shack on the lot. Will paused what he was doing to play a guitar solo on the rake he’d been using, and Kerr threw his head back, laughing before ruffling his son’s hair.
‘Those guys are always together, and they seem to have such a fun relationship. Are they related?’
Esme nodded. ‘Father and son. Only recently connected, so Olivia told me, and under quite difficult circumstances too. Kerr has quite a history if you listen to the castle gossip.’
Zach tilted his head. ‘And you don’t?’
Esme shrugged. ‘I like to hear things straight from the horse’s mouth personally. Gossip can get you into all kinds of trouble.’
‘How about Judd? Is he as diplomatic as you?’
What a weird question. ‘He seems to be.’
Zach nodded. ‘I got that feeling about him. And I bet he’s massively supportive of you pursuing your dreams again.’
Esme frowned. ‘Erm… I suppose. Although we haven’t really discussed it.’
Zach was no longer making eye contact. ‘He seems a great guy. I hear you both live in one of the pretty cottages along the lane.’
She absent-mindedly wondered who he had been talking about her with. ‘Yeah. I’ve only just moved in but it’s lovely. Judd has been keeping up with the garden and he really has a knack for it.’
Zach nodded and gave a brief smile. ‘That’s great. Really great. Congratulations.’
Esme was a bit confused. ‘It’s no big deal really, but thanks.’
‘Oh, I don’t know. I always think if you love someone enough to move in with them it’s a pretty big deal.’
‘Sorry? Love…?’ She realised what he had mistakenly thought. ‘Oh… you think Judd and I…? We aren’t… I mean we’re just housemates. I wanted to move out of home, and he had a spare room and it’s so convenient for work, so…’
Zach’s eyes widened. ‘Oh! Right! Sorry. I thought you were together because you seem… I don’t know. My bad.’
Esme shrugged. ‘No harm done. He’s a really nice guy but we’re just sort of getting to know one another.’
‘I get you, of course. So… are you single or is there someone else?’
Esme felt her face warming again and wondered why on earth Zach Marchand would be asking her, plain old Esme Cassidy, if she was single. ‘I’m very much single.’ She cringed, as opposed to only slightly single ? ‘That is, I… erm… had my heart broken not too long back so I’ve sworn off relationships for a while.’ Why did I say that? She clenched her jaw, but it was too late, the words were out there.
He nodded. ‘You too? I’m sorry to hear that.’
‘Thanks. It’s not fun, eh?’
He gave a small smile tinged with sadness. ‘You’re not wrong.’
A heavy silence fell between them for a few moments and Esme could’ve kicked herself. Maybe he was going to ask her out and she had ruined it by oversharing. Although how ridiculous did she have to be to imagine such a scenario where a famous actor asked her out? Especially one as handsome as Zach. She silently shook her head and glanced off into the distance.
He glanced at his watch. ‘Shit, I suppose I should be getting back. That scene isn’t going to rehearse itself.’
‘Well, if you need any help I’d be happy to… help .’ Her face warmed again. Why couldn’t she get her words out around him?
‘Are you free now?’ he asked, his eyes filled with evident hope.
‘Oh, I mean yeah, I’m not busy. I was just taking Betty for a walk and then doing laundry so…’ And you have your own lines to learn, you muppet, don’t let professionalism stand in the way of you helping a heartthrob.
‘Amazing! Let’s go back to mine and I’ll put the kettle on.’
* * *
The stable apartment where Zach was staying was so cosy with a real fire and exposed stone walls. Esme had heard that Olivia’s friend Bella had designed the apartments and from what she had seen they were beautiful; worthy of a magazine spread, in fact. Zach made coffee in the kitchen as Esme admired the artwork on the walls of the living room and Betty curled up on the rug in front of the fire, tired from her walk.
Once Zach had brought two steaming mugs of earthy-smelling liquid and placed them on the hearth, he handed Esme a paper script and he retrieved his iPad then he slid the coffee table to one end, and they stood in the centre of the lounge.
‘Okay, so this scene is the first time Lady Eleanor and Lord Christoph are actually alone together. Up to this point they have been sharing glances and very brief skin-to-skin touches, erm, a hand, an arm. They’re both nervous and on edge because this thing between them is so clandestine but it’s consuming them both and they know they feel the same. Lady Eleanor is having second thoughts now that she is set to inherit the castle but Lord Christoph can’t bear to think of not being with her.’ He paused and closed his eyes for a moment, then when he opened them it was clear from his shift in stance he was in character. He waited for Esme to deliver her line, his eyes were intently fixed on her, searing deeply into her soul and for a moment she forgot to speak. He was mesmerising without uttering a single word.
She managed to break his gaze briefly to glance at the highlighted part on the paper. ‘We… we can’t do this, my lord. If we are found out I stand to lose everything,’ Esme said in a breathy voice that was only partly acted. ‘The castle, my reputation… and my heart.’
Zach stepped closer and he reached out his hand to cup her cheek. ‘But I can’t move away. Can’t you see? I’m drawn to you. You fill my mind during my waking hours and my dreams when I’m in slumber. If this is so wrong, why would I gladly be caught just to have another moment alone with you?’ He clenched his jaw and spoke with such passion he took her breath away.
She pressed her hand to his chest, glanced down at the script briefly and then back up to Zach. ‘You must stop. You must. You’re my betrothed’s brother. There is no positive outcome for this tryst.’ Her heart pounded as she locked her gaze on his. ‘It will surely be the death of us both, Christoph,’ she whispered his character’s name as she felt Lady Eleanor would have, being so personal for the first time.
He lowered his face and took another step closer; his chest was heaving now. ‘Then I will die for this. I would die for you, sweet Eleanor,’ he growled, and she felt her legs weakening as his chest rumbled beneath her hand.
She almost forgot to read her next line. ‘Don’t say such things. You will surely break my heart. You must leave.’
He rested his forehead on hers. ‘Then push me away. Make me leave your presence. Tell me to go,’ he whispered.
Esme closed her eyes for a moment. ‘Please be strong for both of us and don’t make me say the words… please .’
‘If I must leave, I wish for one kiss. I wish to feel your lips against mine, just once, Eleanor. That is all I ask.’
As she opened her eyes again, she watched in what felt like slow motion as he lowered his face until she could feel his warm breath on her skin. His lips were millimetres from hers. Oh my God, he’s actually going to kiss me. It’s only acting, Cassidy, remember that. It means nothing. But he’s actually going to practise the kiss on me! Her eyes fluttered closed again and she waited…
The door burst open. ‘Oh, there you are, Zachy! I’ve been looking everywhere,’ Lucille said without so much as a hello.
Zach stepped back quickly as if he’d been slapped. ‘Luce, ever heard of knocking?’
She snorted. ‘Oh, please. I’ve practically been sharing this place with you since we arrived. The tabloids would have a field day if they knew what’s been going on.’ She laughed but there was no humour, just a sinister tinkling to her voice that reminded Esme of the Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz . ‘What on earth are you doing in here with a staff member anyway?’ she asked with a curled lip as if the words had a bitter taste. ‘You could get into serious trouble, you know. Both of you.’
Esme’s stomach knotted. She imagined Lucille would be telling Lady Olivia about this discovery as soon as possible, meaning her job and her reputation would be on the line, and the rest of the staff would know exactly who had been the topic of complaint in the email she had sent on behalf of her boss.
‘I should get going,’ Esme said, her face burning at furnace-level proportions now. ‘Come on, Betty.’
Lucille appeared confused for a moment and glanced around. ‘Betty? Who on earth is… oh!’ She recoiled, grimaced and placed a hand on her chest. ‘Eeugh, what an ugly little creature.’
‘Hey, there’s no reason to be cruel about the dog, Lucille,’ Zach said, stepping protectively in front of the pug.
‘Who says I was referring to the dog?’ Lucille chuntered, her voice barely audible but Esme heard everything.
Zach’s brow crumpled, and he took a step towards her, jaw clenched. ‘What did you say?’
Lucille waved a dismissive hand. ‘Oh, nothing. Anyway, I’ve come to run lines. I’m guessing you’re panicking about the love scene again like you were when I helped you yesterday.’ She fanned herself with her hands. ‘That kiss was pretty hot, though, wouldn’t you say? Really, Zachy, you should stick to the professionals to help you, otherwise you’ll be completely knocked off your game. Run along now, Doris.’ She waved her hand in Esme’s direction. ‘I’m sure you’ve got something to clean somewhere. Don’t let us keep you.’
Esme clenched her jaw, and her nostrils flared. ‘How dare?—’
Lucille stepped forward and with a sly smile she said, ‘Oh, I dare, and I’d be mindful about coming into the actors’ accommodation again if I were you. I’d hate to see you acquiring the reputation of floozy, or getting fired for interfering with a working film set.’
‘Lucille, that’s enough,’ Zach said, his face also beet red now.
‘It’s okay, Zach, I do have to go. I’ll see you later,’ Esme said, glaring at Lucille. She clipped Betty’s lead on, grabbed her coat and dashed for the door, her pulse rate thundering around her body as she fought to contain her anger, both at herself for being caught in Zach’s apartment and at Lucille for thinking everyone was beneath her.