CHAPTER 10
KADE
I hate that I have news to share with Emery, news that I’m not sure she wants to hear and will hurt her. Even though my woman hasn’t given me details, it’s clear that she’s not close with her sister. I’m aware searching for Jen was more about Dot’s conscience than Emery’s need to help her sister.
Still, that wasn’t going to stop me from helping my brothers find the woman. I wanted to show Emery that she could count on me, even if she wasn’t all that invested in finding Jen. I wasn’t going to let her down.
And I figured having Dot on my side wouldn’t hurt anything. I can only hope I’m right about that.
Now I’m waiting for my woman to show up after I called her to let her know there was news. I can only hope this won’t hurt her. Even though the sisters aren’t close.
I shake my head to dispel my worries. Even if it does shock and hurt Emery, I’ll be at her side to help hold her together. Honestly, there isn’t anywhere else I’d rather be.
I know that Emery letting me get close to her the other night after I talked to Mom was because I needed her and wasn’t because she was letting me back in, but that doesn’t mean I’m not thankful as fuck about it. I’ll take any way that I can get close to my woman.
The fact that she was willing to give me what I needed, even if she’s not sure about trusting me after I explained how everything went down, means the fucking world to me. It’s enough.
For now.
My mind drifts back to earlier when I was called into Lucifer’s office. Hacker, our tech expert, was there along with Loot, Prodigal, and Apostle. I knew with a single glance at everyone in the room that someone had found something about Jennifer.
We’d already spread out around the city to explore all those dark recesses of the city to see if we could find her. No one found anything about her, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t anything to find.
When Lucifer nodded toward one of the chairs in front of his desk, I sunk down into it and braced myself. My mind was going over all the worst possibilities. Emery wasn’t as invested in finding Jen as Dot has been, but that doesn’t mean she would want to hear the worst news possible.
Without being able to stop myself, I blurted, “Is she dead?”
“Thankfully, she’s not dead,” there was a note of hesitance in Lucifer’s voice that had me on edge. “Doesn’t mean she’s not in hell all the same.”
I scrubbed a hand over my face before giving him a sharp nod and looking toward Hacker. I’m not sure how I knew, but my gut was screaming that he was the one who was able to find out the information we were hunting.
“Jen has spent the last year on a downward spiral.” I opened my mouth to say that I had a feeling that she’d been heading south a lot longer than a year, but Hacker shook his head, and I snapped my mouth shut to listen. “She’s never had the best track record. That much was clear right away when I started digging into her. But this last year has been even worse.”
My gut clenched and I wished I had pushed my woman to tell me something, anything, about the history she shared with her sister. I knew they were different and that their parents treated Jen like the black sheep and Emery like she was made of golden spun sugar. Well, at least until Emery decided to follow her dreams.
Then everything changed and her parents turned their backs on her.
At this point, they might as well stay gone and never look back. I’ll make sure Emery has people at her back and a fuck ton of love in her heart for the rest of our lives.
“She was in some sort of altercation about 18 months ago and was beaten. Badly. It wasn’t pretty and the way she was worked over was brutal. No one was ever charged with the crime, and I don’t think the cops looked too deeply into it because Jen has been on their radar before for solicitation and minor drug offenses,” Hacker explained
“Shit,” I hissed out and ran my fingers through my hair.
“Yeah,” Hacker agreed. “While things weren’t great before, that whole thing got her hooked hard on drugs.”
“Probably self-medicating,” Apostle interjected what we were all thinking. I managed to grunt in response.
“The way she threw herself into addiction was a new low her for and definitely worse than it had been previously. That shit is what led her to really be taken advantage of.” I started rubbing my temples as Hacker filled us in. “She was in debt and in need of her next fix which is what allowed some shit pimp who doesn’t give a fuck about his merchandise to turn her out in a way she hadn’t been before.”
I shook my head, feeling defeated and hating the idea of filling my woman and her aunt in on everything. “You got a location?” It was really the only question to ask in that moment and I had to know if this info was leading anywhere.
“Yup,” Hacker popped the p.
I nodded slowly, a war raging inside of me. Do I tell my woman? Do we get Jen out and save her from herself? Addiction is fucking messy and it’s going to take more than the will of some bikers to turn Jen’s life around.
“You need to tell your woman what we found out,” the command in Lucifer’s voice had me snapping my gaze up to look at him. I opened my mouth to explain that they weren’t exactly close but didn’t get the chance. “I know they aren’t close, but you don’t get to choose what to shield her from and what not to. Dot came to us for help and while Emery is your woman, this isn’t club business. Now if we had found out she was being held in the RRMC’s clubhouse, this shit would become sanctioned, and we’d be having another discussion. That’s not what this is. Jennifer’s life has just taken bad turn after bad turn and now she’s in a fucking mess without a lot of options.”
“What do I tell her?” I could hear the desperation and the plea in my voice.
“The fucking truth,” Lucifer’s words were hard and unyielding. “You tell her the truth, trust her to be the strong fucking woman we know she is, and then let her know you’ll have her back when we go in and get Jen out of the situation that she’s gotten herself in.”
“What’s the plan on getting Jen out?” I needed a distraction while my mind was conjuring up all the negative ways my woman could take the news.
Apostle must have seen my turmoil because he laid some plans out for a shit motel—a generous term, honestly—in one of the worst areas of the city. We went over where Jen had been seen, what room she’s allegedly staying in, and any information we had on her pimp.
“She’s been seen sporting more than one black eye in the last month or so,” Hacker added into the discussion which only heightened the sense of urgency that was curling in my gut.
From the way the men around me tensed, I wasn’t the only one to feel it. None of us were okay with a woman being hurt. We might not always be choosing the legal side of life, but there are lines you don’t cross. Raising a hand to a woman’s one of those lines.
“Gonna take this asshole out who has been selling her while she’s so strung out she probably doesn’t know what the fuck is even going on?” The words I push past my lips, but I need to know.
“We’ll take care of the trash,” Lucifer promised.
“I’ve found some rehab options,” Hacker’s eyes were intense as he let me know he was one step ahead of me.
A lesser man might bristle at that. Not me. I was grateful as fuck that he’d thought ahead and wanted to make sure Jen could get help the club can’t provide.
We can bring the heat down on the people who are using her. We can muscle our way in and get her to safety. What we sure as fuck are not, or will ever be, are experts in recovery or dealing with trauma.
When the clubhouse door opens behind me, I don’t have to look over from where I’m sitting on a bar stool to know my woman has just walked in. As I meet her gaze, I can see the worry in her eyes.
Before I’m conscious of it, I’m up and closing the distance between us. I wrap her up in my arms, wanting to shield her just as much as I want to bring her comfort.
“I’ve been freaking out the entire way over here,” she admits even though her words are muffled by the way she’s pressing her face into my chest.
Even though her words are filled with worry, she melts into me.
It’s the sign I need to know that we’ll be okay. Eventually.
I’m willing to wait for her and I sure as fuck am willing to fight to keep my woman. There’s no doubt in my mind now that I would never survive another three months without her in my arms, in my life, in my bed.
While some of my brothers look on, I bend slightly and then lift my woman into my arms, bridal style. The small, unsure squeak she lets out has me fighting a smile. She makes the cutest fucking noises.
It doesn’t take me long to make it to my room, but I don’t stop until I’m sitting on the edge of my bed with my woman on my lap. I can feel the worry flowing off her in waves.
I hate to bring her any sadness, any pain, but Lucifer was right—she deserves to know this shit.
Emery’s voice is so small that it breaks a part of me, “Did you find Jen? Is she,” her voice breaks, but she powers through, “alive?”
Fuck. My woman is so damn brave that I can hardly see straight.
Granted, that might be because all my blood and mental faculties have gone straight to my dick which is begging to be buried inside our sweet woman soon. I swallow hard, knowing I have to do this. I’ll hold her together when she falls apart. As long as she lets me, at least.
“She’s alive,” my voice is gruff and thick. She sags against me, hating that I have more to tell her. “She’s in a bad way though, Ink.”
Emery pulls back from where she was just nestling in the crook of my neck. There are unshed tears in her eyes, even though she hasn’t spoken to her sister in a long time. Even if Jen does agree to get help, it doesn’t mean the sisters are suddenly going to share a bond or some shit.
Yeah, that is not going to be happening any time soon. I’m sure.
“I know that I probably don’t have a right to know because we aren’t close and haven’t been for years,” she started to tell me.
I shake my head, needing her to know I get it and understand. “Doesn’t mean she’s not your sister.”
She sighs and tucks back into my body. As much as I want to fist bump and do a fucking victory dance, this isn’t about me and how fucking good it feels to have my woman in my arms.
“A year and a half ago she was assaulted and beat the hell up. Cops never found out who did it,” I grunt, wishing I could go track down the assholes who were supposed to help save and protect my woman’s sister. “That led her to some serious addiction issues and a pimp who treats women like shit. Jen is no exception to that either.”
“Fuck,” she sighs out softly. “I knew it was probably bad, but I was hopeful.” She shakes her head and whispers, “I had almost convinced myself that she was out there happy and healthy. It’s not like she’d reach out to me if she needed help or if she were on cloud nine.”
“Just because we found her, and she’s gone through some shit doesn’t mean you need to take that onto your shoulders or do anything more than listen to what we’ve found.”
She nods, not lifting her head. “You’re going to go and get her to bring her back?”
“We are,” I answer her honestly, not willing to hide it or try and lie.
“I want to be there,” her voice is fierce and strong. Somehow I know she’s not going to budge on her demand.
“I’m not sure if I can make that happen, Ink, but I’ll talk to Lucifer and ask.”
She nods and burrows deeper into my body as if that would be enough to prevent the world from finding us. If only.
“Is that your sketch book?” She points to the pad of paper on my nightstand. When I grunt, she wiggles a little in my lap like she’s excited before asking, “Will you show me?”
Fuck. I’ll do anything to distract her from the news I’ve just given her. I also know that showing her my work, especially what is in that book, might just be what I need to do to get me one step closer to making my claim on her official and unbreakable.
And that is how I find myself showing the woman of my fucking dreams all the sketches that I made of her while I was on the rig with only her soul to get me through, even though it felt like sand sifting through my fingers and draining quickly. I make sure to watch her face as I show her each sketch. There is longing, love, and pride in her eyes.
That makes me feel like a little bit more of her wall crumbles and I get a little bit closer to what I ultimately want.
Her. Always her.