Chapter 7 #2
"Nah, I'm not even about to let you give me that excuse.
Tonight, of all nights, you should have been there for me.
I never ask you for shit, Teddy. Not a damn thing.
I always go that extra mile for you, but when it comes to me, I can't even get you to skip.
It's excuse after excuse with you, and I'm tired of it. "
"Then leave!" he stepped in my face and roared.
"Nigga, this is my fucking house. You leave.
The fuck! All I wanted to know is where were you tonight, and you jump to this shit.
I'm tired, Teddy. I swear I am. You keep giving me thirty percent when I'm giving you seventy.
I love the fuck out of you and thought it was the same for me, but your actions tell me otherwise. So, what is it?"
"My head hurts. That's what it is. We can talk about this shit in the morning." The smell of liquor came out of his pores like some funky-ass old man cologne.
"You're drunk? Seriously! Wow!" Throwing my hands up, I pushed past him and headed into the room.
Slamming the bedroom door, I locked it behind me and dared his ass to knock on it.
Those dumb-ass tears started again, but it wasn't tears of sadness this time.
When I was too angry to tear some shit up, I cried, and right now, I really wanted to rip Teddy's head off.
He chose to get fucked up instead of coming to the game? The fucking audacity of him.
"I'm sorry, Bri, and congratulations on your game. I love you," I heard from the other side of the door.
This is how he did every time. Teddy pissed me off to the highest power, then tried to smooth things over. Usually, it worked, but tonight, FUCK TEDDY!
brOOKLYN SMITH
Bobbing my head to the beat flowing through the speakers, I let the present dissipate as I stepped into another world. This was my element — music, vibrations, and melodies. Amid thunderous beats, I seemed to find the most peace.
My phone vibrated in my lap, but like the last three times it rang, I ignored that shit. It wasn't anyone I wanted to hear from right now, so the voicemail could catch it. All a nigga wanted to do was focus on getting this beat done so that I could go home and try to get some rest.
Lately, things had been stressful in my life.
While I lived peacefully, I'd been losing rest over my parents.
Something was off with them; I just couldn't put my finger on it.
Growing up, I was used to Jaxon and Renee being more than my parents.
They were my best friends. It sounded crazy, but my parents were just cool as fuck.
Although they were cool, they never let me get out of line, and honestly, I never had a reason to rebel against them.
However, I'd noticed a shift in their behavior for the past two months. My parents were the poster couple of love and support. In all my years, I'd never seen them argue—not that they hadn't. They just never did it around my two younger brothers or me.
The shift in them had me worried. My parents had been married all my life and never had this type of heaviness been on me about them.
When I felt I was tripping or paranoid, the next time I went around them, the same heaviness would be there.
A part of me wanted to face whatever was going on with them head-on while another was terrified.
My parents were equally my heart. If either of them had it in mind to walk away from the other, I wasn't sure if I could handle it.
I was strong and could hold plenty of shit on my shoulders, but watching my parents go through some shit had me weak.
If I saw what was happening with them, then I knew my brothers, Bishop and Berkeley, were curious.
Bishop was eleven, while Berkeley was thirteen.
They weren't so caught up in school and video games that they didn't recognize something happening with our parents.
However, just like I was afraid to face my parents, I was afraid to broach the subject with my brothers.
They usually told me everything and called me for anything, but they'd had yet to bring any concerns my way, and truthfully, it gave me some relief.
Not enough relief to help me sleep, though.
Sure, I shouldn't have been allowing my parents’ problems to weigh on me, but I was their eldest child, the one who saw their love grow and maintain through the twenty-six years I'd been on this earth. Them being apart would devastate me.
How else would I know how to love a woman if it wasn't for my father?
Likewise, how else would I know how being a good man could allow your woman to be ten toes down for you through whatever?
She'd appreciate, love, and respect you as a man, husband, and father.
I learned that shit from them. They couldn't show me anything different.
I hated that I felt this way. Thoughts of them consumed me.
Snatching my phone up as it vibrated again, I mugged it when Em's name scrolled across the screen.
Sliding it to answer, I placed it on speaker and purposely turned the music back up, trying my best to let her ass know I was busy.
Emily and I started fucking around after a concert Zoo, Sin, and I went to for this artist I produced for.
She was bad as hell. Short, pretty as hell, and thick in all the right places.
Even that fupa shit bitches tried to hide in them leggings was cute on her.
The only thing I hated was her nagging. Her voice made the hair on my balls stand up.
It was squeaky, and that shit was nettlesome as fuck.
"Brooklyn!" Her piercing voice bled through my ears like music through speakers, not the music that sounded good either. I'm talking 'bout that shit that you have to turn off immediately 'cause its trash.
"What's up, Em? I'm busy." Telling her that still wasn't gon' get her off my line any faster.
"Then, let me come by the studio to see you then. I just finished my shift, and I'm not ready to go home yet. Plus, I haven't seen you in a month of Sundays."
"The fuck that shit mean?"
"I haven't seen you in a month, Brooklyn," she corrected because I didn't understand that other shit.
"Say that shit then, and nah, you know I hate when people come up here while I'm working on shit. If you not in the booth, then I can't have you in here."
"Broooklyyynnn," she dragged. "I'll be quiet, I promise."
"Look, lil' baby, I said no. That shit fucks up my mental, and it's always the ones who say they gone sit quietly and not be in my way... that end up in my way. I'll fuck with you later, maybe in another month of Sundays."
"Really?" Emily huffed, and I already knew she was about to go in some mo'. If not, start cryin'.
I wish I had known she was like this before I gave her ass the dick.
Leave it to Zoo to push me on her 'cause he wanted to fuck with her homegirl.
He fucked her and dipped 'cause he was drunk and just wanted to fuck something.
I fucked Em and ended up spending the night 'cause I was too fucked-up to drive home.
That's where I fucked up at. A one-night stand turned into me having a bitch that I fucked with on the regular that said shit like a month of Sundays and sounded like a wounded cat when she talked.
"I just think it's funny how you make time when you want to fuck me, but when I just want to be on some spending time and cuddle shit, it's a no for me."
"Emily, you do know you not my girl, right?
We fuck, that's it. If we were more, then I wouldn't mind doing all that shit with you, but this ain't that.
Once I do get a girl, I'll give her my time, willingly.
She won't have to nag or beg me for shit that's given to her because I want her around.
You don't see that shit, though. If you gotta beg a nigga to do shit with you and for you, then that's not the man you want in your life.”
“You'll never have to beg a nigga that's meant for you. You'll never have to ask that nigga to do a damn thing or trick him into doing it because he's gon' always make sure you straight before you even ask him for shit. I ain't that nigga.”
“I don't know why you are so dead set on being my girl when I'm not giving you one reason to want to be.
You have to beg me to bring you lunch, and even then, you lie like you forgot yours at home and can't leave the hospital, but when I get there, you're more concerned with showing me off, having me walk around and talk to you and shit in front of bitches that I don' already fucked before, too.
They ain't pressed by any of these games you try to play with tricking muthafuckas into thinking we are one when we ain't even two.
I mean, we're nowhere near a couple, Emily, and you still want to parade me around. Like I said, what's up? I'm busy."
"Well then, can you come over when you leave?"
Pulling the phone away from my ear, I chuckled 'cause she couldn't have been serious right now. Instead of telling her the same shit that I’d just told her but in layman's terms, I just ended the call. If she didn't understand everything I’d said, then she would never understand.
Picking my phone back up, I called Zoo to cuss his ass out for getting me into this shit. Just like they say, all money ain't good money. The same applies for pussy. I should have kept the fuck going.
"Cuzzo, what's good?" Zoo barked into the phone.
"Bruh, when I see you, I'm knocking yo' ass the fuck out."
"You already know family can catch a fade, too. Remember that. I’ain neva scared to throw down, my boy. What's up, though?"
"Emily!" I let out, knowing that was all I needed to say.
"Maaan, lil' baby pussy must have a hold on you if you ain't dropped her ass yet. You can't have the Smith blood in you. You must take after yo' mama. I hit her friend and left her ass bent up like Uncle June legs when he tried to run track after his accident. You remember that shit?"
"Hell yea, Auntie Rayne didn’t have to run his ass over like that.” I laughed hard as hell. She didn’t hit him on purpose, but it still happened.
“Look like his ass had some paperclips on his legs.”
"Nigga, you talkin' 'bout them blade runner shits?"
"Hell yeah."
He laughed at his own joke, and after picturing how she was bent up, I couldn't do shit but laugh at his dumb-ass comparison, too. He wasn't making fun of the people with prosthetic legs, just giving me an example of what her ass looked like.
"Yo' ass is stupid as fuck for that shit. Whatever it is, I can't get rid of her ass to save my fucking life."
"Shiid, get you a new bitch. Then, maybe the old one will go away. I found myself one. My bitch... my bad. She ain't no bitch. Pen is fine as fuck, too. We just had dinner, and I already know I'm wearing her down."
"How you gon’ wear down someone you already said was your girl?"
"Ugh?"
"Yeah nigga, ‘ugh’ my ass! Let me find out you on some Myron shit," I teased.
"Neva that. I'm just saying Pen is different."
"You already told me about her, and I'on wanna hear it again either. If she ain't got a loyal-ass friend that's the opposite of Emily, then keep that convo to yourself."
"I'll check and see. She balls, so you may have to turn a few bitches back straight if you find one worth breaking like a horse."
"You and these dumb-ass comparisons. Fuck off my line."
"Nigga, you called me!" he shouted as I ended the call.