Chapter Fifteen
KATIE
TEN DAYS LATER
Life has been crazier than usual, but I don’t mind.
I’m trying not to overthink how I feel—how I’ve always felt—about Noah.
The reality that we had feelings for each other and didn’t do a damn thing about it has been a lot to process.
I’m fighting a constant battle with my emotions over this.
Of course, after I spilled my heart and revealed everything to Gemma and Everleigh, they gloated, and I got them telling me, “I told you so.”
It doesn’t help me much because now they’re encouraging me to “go for it.” I wish a decision like this was easy, but it’s not only about me anymore. I have a son to think about and how dating Noah will impact him too.
On top of that, I’m well aware of how this could affect my relationship with Gabe’s parents.
Loretta and Elliot have always been there for me, and they’d never support Noah being in our lives.
They understand I’m best friends with Gemma and have been for two decades, but they still act as if she doesn’t exist. If they knew what was going on, Owen would lose his relationship with them, and I’d never forgive myself if that happened.
I don’t like deceiving them. But it’s necessary for Noah’s safety right now.
Until he finds out who’s threatening his life, he can’t go home.
I don’t think Loretta or Elliot are behind the brick and bomb, but I can’t exclude them yet.
If I had to guess, it’s probably someone close to Gabe who doesn’t approve of Noah being back and is seeking revenge.
So until the risk is gone, Noah will stay at my house, and I’ll continue bringing him lunch and dinner. The couple of times I couldn’t, Belinda or his dad made sure he ate. But I enjoy doing it, and Owen loves having him around too.
Lately, Owen’s been a different kid, and there’s no denying Noah’s positive effect on him.
They talk about school, sports, and fun summer activities they can do together, such as hiking, camping, and even taking a road trip to the coast to swim in the ocean.
But I don’t have the heart to tell Owen it might not happen.
When I visit on my lunch breaks, Noah and I end up reliving our high school days.
As we talk about our past, all the memories and details I’d forgotten resurface.
Our time together typically ends with us laughing our asses off at the shit we’d do.
Since Lawton Ridge is so small, the teachers knew our parents and grandparents, which meant nothing could be hidden.
When we got into trouble, they’d conveniently run into our parents somewhere in town and rat us out.
When Noah and I got caught sneaking out of study hall, Ms. Landry gave us detention. Instead of giving our parents the slips, we signed for each other and turned them in. We would’ve gotten away with it had she not mentioned it to my mom at a barbecue. I was grounded for an entire month.
But leaving school and driving with Noah was worth it. Though we often fought over the radio, he’d eventually give in and was forced to listen to me belt out the lyrics. The memories of listening to music with the windows down are unforgettable.
“You finally got laid,” Missy blurts as she walks into my office uninvited.
“Excuse me?” I ask, ignoring her as I finish typing an email.
“You’ve been smiling nonstop for over a week and haven’t yelled at Yolanda in days. She screwed up so bad the other day we had to stay late, and not a peep came out of you, so I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re gettin’ laid. The question is, who’s the lucky guy with the magic penis?”
My fingers stop as I narrow my eyes.
“So because I’m in a good mood, I’m automatically having sex?”
“In my experience, yes. And by how you’ve been prancing around, I’d say it’s happening frequently. You’re gettin’ regular dick without a doubt. So whose is it?” She waggles her brows.
I pick up my cold mug of coffee and take a sip, trying to pretend she’s not there. “Prancing around?” I muse. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m not getting anything…except annoyed.”
“Did you get a new vibrator? Because that could also explain your sudden mood change.”
I half choke, half swallow my drink before setting it down. “Your generation is too comfortable discussing your sex lives.”
She points a finger at me. “So there is sex happening! I knew it.”
I stand. “No. Been going solo for a long time. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going on my lunch break.”
“Well, whatever it’s worth, I’ve never seen you happier.” She smirks as I playfully shove her out of my office.
“Go do your job before I fire you.”
She cackles because she knows I can’t, but either way, I wouldn’t. She’s a great teller and has excellent people skills.
I didn’t have the chance to prepare any food ahead of time, so I walk to the deli to grab something for Noah and me.
When I enter, Belinda greets me. She knows the situation, but we don’t talk about it outside of our circle, so the conversation stays light.
“I can ring her up while you finish,” Brittany says as she comes toward me from the kitchen.
“Two soup and sandwich combos,” Belinda tells her.
“Two, huh? Must be hungry today,” she says in a sugary-sweet tone that’s so fake. I want to roll my eyes but refrain.
“I’m getting one for a coworker,” I answer, reaching into my wallet for my card.
Brittany smiles as she swipes it, then hands it back.
“How’s Owen doin’?” she asks while Belinda bags my items.
“He’s fine, thank you.”
“My Anthony has been beggin’ me to set up a playdate. I know you’re super busy with work and your house, but maybe I could take Owen off your hands on a Saturday? I’m sure the boys would love to play baseball and video games.”
Belinda finally hands me my food and grins. “There you go, darlin’. Hope y’all enjoy.”
“Thanks, you know we will.” I turn toward Brittany. “I’m sure Owen would love that, but I’ll have to find a good date and get back to you. His grandparents take turns seeing him on the weekends.”
“Sure, no problem. Just have Owen tell Anthony when and we’ll set something up.”
“Will do. Bye now.” I go to my car parked behind the bank and try to ignore the weird vibe Brittany gives me. Not to mention, I’m still bothered by the way she was all over Noah at the retirement party. She barely knows him. Hell, she doesn’t know me either.
The last thing I’d do is allow Owen to go anywhere with that woman. Perhaps I’m being petty, but my gut instincts tell me otherwise.
As I drive to the house, the excitement I feel when I see Noah returns.
“Hey,” he greets. By the dust on his jeans, I can tell he was messing with something around the house. “Let me take that. It smells delicious.”
His hands brush mine as he takes the bag from my grip, and I smile. “Belinda’s cookin’.”
“Ahh, perfect.” He unpacks it as I grab silverware and paper plates.
“I talked to Tyler this morning,” he says as we sit at the table.
“Any news?”
“No, but I spoke to Sheriff Todd afterward, and the investigation is still active. Thankfully, there hasn’t been any other suspicious activity.”
“That’s good. Guess the plan to move your truck and disappear worked.”
“Yeah, it’s hard to target someone who’s not around.”
I reach over and cover his hand with mine. “They’re gonna find out who’s behind this.”
“Hopefully, but a part of me worries it won’t solve my problems. The stigma of being an ex-con will follow me for the rest of my life. If it’s not this person throwing bricks and bombs through windows, it’ll be someone else.”
I’m sick to my stomach and am more worried for Noah than I want to admit.
“I know it’s easier said than done, but positive thinking goes a long way. Many have rebuilt their lives under worse circumstances.”
“I want to, but what happened didn’t just affect me. It affected the whole town.” He blinks, then meets my eyes. “Especially you.”
“I wish you would’ve let me be there for you,” I say softly. “You didn’t give me a choice. You took that from me.”
“Katie, I know.” He sets down his sandwich and inches closer. “And if you’re ready, I’ll explain everything. It won’t change a damn thing, but maybe it’ll help you understand that it wasn’t you, it was me.”
I swallow hard because while I do want answers, I haven’t been ready to hear them. But it’s time, especially if we’re going to repair our friendship.
Slowly, I nod. “Okay, I’m ready.”
I take a bite of my sandwich as he swallows down a spoonful of soup. He lowers his eyes briefly before meeting mine, and I can see the remorse and pain behind his gaze.
“After the incident, I was overwhelmed with shame and didn’t want anyone’s pity.
Going to prison wasn’t punishment enough, but losing you would hurt me the most. I assumed you’d be disgusted with me and what I’d done, but I should’ve known better.
You weren’t even mad at me. Instead, you cried on my shoulder at the funeral and clung to me like I was your life support.
I didn’t deserve it. Once I was behind those bars, I went numb.
I craved your touch and allowed my thoughts to self-sabotage everything.
I quickly went into a downward spiral of anger and depression.
Images of Gabe on the floor unconscious consumed me while the memories of him hooked to the ventilator fighting to live haunted my dreams. It was impossible to sleep or eat, and when you sent me that first letter, I couldn’t understand why you didn’t hate me.
I despised myself and thought I didn’t deserve your friendship. ”
Noah licks his lips as I take in his words. The pain in his voice and how low he thought of himself hurts my heart.
“When you sent me the second letter with a baby picture of Owen, the realization that you’d be raising him as a single mom hit me so hard, I lost control.
I got into a fight with my cellmate over something so damn stupid, I ended up getting into more trouble.
It’s probably why my dad has suggested I talk to a therapist more than once. ”