Chapter 12 #2
“Come on, Fina. You and I both know that’s not the truth. You might as well confess so we can get what your mom needs at the store and head back home.”
Confess. A word so small, yet loaded with burden.
I would rather go to my grave clutching my unrequited love for Thane than let any confession escape my mouth.
I wanted to keep it locked up forever in the deepest, darkest, dampest dungeon in my heart.
I wanted to leave it down there for so long that I forgot it existed.
I wanted it to wither away from lack of sunlight and fade into nothingness; but even I knew that was unrealistic.
My love for Thane cried out day and night, refusing to be neglected.
It sang quiet songs, even when there was no hope.
It searched for any sliver of life in his smile or an accidental touch, and clung to it like the air it breathed.
I would never be able to ignore it, because it refused to die.
“I’m fine,” I said finally.
“Is it because I made fun of your driving? Because it’s all in jest, Pidge. You can even drive the rest of the time.” He unbuckled his seatbelt.
Before I had time to protest, he was out of the car and jogging to my side.
He opened my door, reached over to unbuckle me—the scent from his chest tormenting my hungry heart—and pulled me out.
He situated me in front of the rear passenger door and squared up, waiting for me to speak.
The looming pine trees shaded us in speckled shadows, and the gentle hum of the cicadas sang a summer favorite.
“It’s not about driving,” I admitted. “I know I’m a perpetual curb hitter.”
He laughed. “True. But if it’s not about your driving, what is it, then?”
My logic fogged in his proximity. The humidity in the air suffocated my will to resist him, and I found myself considering throwing all my cards on the table and kissing him right there. But the self-doubt I battled with shackled me with fear of the unknown.
Would he kiss me back? Would he reject me? Would it be the best moment of my life, or would I instantly regret it? Would this be a fun story to tell our ten beautiful babies someday, or would it torch everything we have and leave nothing but ashes behind?
He interrupted my regularly scheduled crash and burn by putting his finger under my chin and raising my face to his. My eyes were the last part of me to lift, and they took as long as possible.
“I meant it, you know,” he said so softly I could’ve curled up in his words and had a nap.
“You meant what?” I leaned backward, pressing my palms against the warm metal door.
He stepped forward, closing what little space I had created between us.
My heart raged like a caged animal in my chest. His fingers stayed under my chin, his thumb brushing my jawline like he’d done it a million times.
My breath hitched as his soft brown eyes roamed my face, and I knew I was treading on a minefield.
He smiled, but not his usual cocky smile.
It was gentle. Genuine. I couldn’t help but glance down at his lips—at the scar he wore on them, just for me.
“That I wished you loved me.” His confession glided from his perfect mouth to my disbelieving ears and flooded every inch of my body. I wouldn’t have believed it myself had I not seen the fire in his eyes that accompanied his words, yet still, I scoffed.
“You live to make me miserable,” I countered, but it came out more breathy than I wanted it to.
“That’s just a front.” He admitted it so easily I wondered if this was just another cruel joke. “I can’t have your brother suspecting anything, now can I? Then he’d kill me, and end up in jail right before training for the Secret Service. They frown upon that kind of thing, you know.”
I nodded stupidly, because the second Thane stepped into my personal space, my head disconnected from my body, and there were no signals getting through from my heart to my brain.
He held steady eye contact, and as much as I wanted to look away, my eyes were trapped in his like quicksand.
I braced myself for him to laugh and say he was joking.
“Fina?”
“Hmmm?” I replied, moving my gaze to his lips again.
“The question remains: ‘What are you going to do about it?’”
Young Sera turned into a Swiftie at a Taylor Swift concert, complete with a homemade poster that says “Kiss Him!” in big, glittery letters.
I tipped my chin upward slightly, inviting him to meet me in the middle.
His hand dragged so delicately down my neck it may as well have been a feather as his eyes fell to my lips.
I brushed his chest with my fingertips, his heart pounding wildly under his T-shirt.
When I realized that we were on the same page, I threw caution to the wind.
My eyelids fluttered closed in anticipation.
“That’s what I was hoping you’d say,” he whispered, just before his lips skimmed across mine like a perfectly skipped stone.
In all my years of imagining what a kiss with Thane Donnelly would be like—soft and slow, or hungry and passionate—I never could’ve come up with this.
His lips were subdued and subtle as they tested the waters against mine.
He balanced the scale between leaving me perfectly pleased and perilously wanting more, while the buildup of holding back all those years swelled and overflowed inside me.
His hands trembled as they slid around my waist, and he pressed me ever so slightly against the warm metal of the car.
I melted into his chest and took in the taste of him, mingled with the scent of the towering pines surrounding us.
I memorized the way his body felt against mine—foreign, yet familiar.
Soft, yet strong. His arms welcomed me home, and I morphed into an introvert who never wanted to see the outside world again.
Our lips explored, slowly at first—afraid of what consequences might come, but knowing we couldn’t turn back.
A sigh of satisfaction involuntarily escaped me, giving him the encouragement to keep going.
When the realization of finally being able to touch took over, the hunger between us grew into a life of its own.
We ebbed and flowed between a current that tickled our bare feet and a tsunami that would wipe out a village.
I had always hoped that a kiss from Thane would set off fireworks inside me, but I wasn’t prepared for the whole grand finale to go off at once.
He had me—all of me—in one amazing kiss.
I fell to pieces in his hands, and he meticulously put me back together, one amazing kiss at a time.
Somewhere echoing in the distance of my hazy mind, a loud screeching of tires and yelling teenagers brought me back to Earth.
An old square-body Chevy rounded the corner, forcing Thane and me apart like two partners in crime.
I took three milliseconds to normalize my expression when I heard Bash holler from the bed of the truck.
“There they are! Pull over!”
He hopped out and ran toward us. “What are you guys doing out here? I thought you went to town to get groceries.”
“We’re on our way…” My voice cracked.
“…But she almost hit a rabbit, and we veered off the road to avoid it. Now we’re just waiting until our hearts stop racing,” Thane added to my lame excuse, much more convincingly than me.
Oh, my heart is definitely racing.
“Did it come out of nowhere, like those curbs you hit?” Bash teased.
I was too high on Cloud Nine to be bothered by his jab at my driving. I resisted the urge to touch my thoroughly kissed lips.
“Yep. Right out of left field. I wasn’t expecting it at all,” I said, glancing knowingly at Thane.
The smile that ran across his face told me he received my message loud and clear, and I loved that we had another ‘thing’ between us that only we knew.
“Well, fine. I’m headed into town with Jamie and a bunch of her friends to get pallets of wood for tonight. Are you guys still coming?” Bash asked.
“Wouldn’t miss it,” I replied.
“Great, I’ll see you in a bit.” Then Bash pointed directly at Thane and his face grew serious. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” he said, then broke into a smile after he couldn’t keep his poker face intact.
Thane rubbed his neck and laughed nervously, as worried as I was that Bash saw more than he let on. “You got it, Brother,” he responded through a forced smile.
Bash jumped back into the truck with the rest of the group, and they disappeared in a cloud of dust.
Thane and I stood there in silence for a moment, unsure of what to do next. Then he said, “Who’s gonna tell him?”
Before he could beat me to the punch, I yelled, “Not it!”