Chapter 40
forty
DECLAN
“I’m almost ready. I just need to find my other shoe,” Quinn mumbles from her crouched position next to her bag in the corner of my room.
I watch her from my seat at the foot of the bed, thinking about how amazing it’s been having her in my space for the last week. Even with Ava here, Quinn wanted to spend the rest of winter break at my place.
My only complaint is that stupid bag. No matter how often I told her she could unpack her things, she refused. She said something about never knowing what she wants to wear until she gets ready, so leaving things here wouldn’t work for her. I don’t understand it, but she swears it has nothing to do with us, so I’m trying to let it go.
But watching her dig through the bag she packed last night, searching for her shoe, makes me wonder—would it be crazy to ask her to move in? We’ve only known each other for three months and dating for six weeks. People would say we’re moving fast, but is that a reason not to do it?
I love her. There isn’t a doubt in my mind I want to spend my life with her. She understands me in a way no one else has. She supports me in all my endeavors. She never pushes me to do anything she knows will make me uncomfortable while still pushing me to try new things. She loves me exactly as I am, flaws and all. And I love her just the same.
She isn’t perfect; I’m not blind to that. But no matter how cheesy she would say it sounds, she is perfect for me. She’s kind, and funny, and beautiful. She loves her family and her town. She’s constantly learning about herself and life, always striving for more while still recognizing the beauty of what she already has.
Yes, we had a rocky moment, but I can see the change in her. She’d been more free with me after that first conversation with her mom, but it’s like a weight has been lifted after Friday night. She seems lighter. She laughs without reserve, and her love feels bigger. I don’t know how to describe it other than I can see the magnitude of it in the way she looks at me and feel it in the way she reaches for and touches me. Our conversations over this last week have been deeper and more meaningful than I ever had with Melissa. Neither of us is afraid to talk about anything—our wants, our needs, our fears. I thought we had a strong foundation before we ever shared that first kiss, but what we have now? I don’t know how that could break.
So, is it too soon to ask her to move in with me? Society might say it is, but at the end of the day, no one can tell us what is right for us. Only we can decide if we are moving too quickly. And my gut tells me we aren’t.
“Found it!” Quinn shoots up from her bag, holding her shoe in the air like a trophy. “Sorry.” She smiles bashfully when she catches me staring. “What?”
“I’ve been thinking,” I say, standing from my seat and walking toward her.
“A good kind of thinking?” she asks tentatively, dropping her shoes to the floor next to her when I reach for her and wrap my arms around her waist.
“Well, I like what I’ve been thinking,” I joke, pulling her in tight. “What do you think about moving in with me?”
“Here?” she asks, pointing to the floor beside us.
“Well, yeah, unless you hate it here. We could buy something else.”
“No, I love your house. It’s perfect.” Her eyes bounce between mine as if trying to decide if I’m messing with her. “You’re serious?”
“Yeah.” I reach up and tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear. “I know it might be a little fast, but I’ve loved having you here this past week, and I’m just not ready to give that up. I don’t think I’ll ever want to give that up.”
“You want to live with me?” she asks, pointing to herself as if I don’t know who she’s talking about.
I want to laugh, but I’m getting a little nervous now. “Quinn, I am in love with you. Like, madly in love with you. We’ve talked about our future, and I don’t want to wait to start that life. I know it’s fast, but if it feels right to us, why not do it?” I ask with a slight shrug.
“I love you too,” she says quietly, her eyes still moving over my face. I give her time, not saying anything else. “Yes. Let’s do it.” A smile breaks out on her face, and she leans forward, pressing a sloppy kiss to my lips. But just as quickly as she’s there, she pulls back. “I’ll have to talk to Dad.” She shakes her head a little. “I moved home to help him. I need to make sure he’ll be okay with it. It’s not like I’ll be far, but I still need to talk to him.”
“Of course. I want to live with you, Quinn, but we’re not in any hurry. As long as I invade your space at the cottage and you invade mine here, I’ll be happy.”
She bounces on her feet, still in my arms, her happiness contagious. “No, I want to live here with you. We’ll find a way to make it work.” She presses her lips back to mine. But again, she’s gone before anything starts. “Why did you ask me this when we have to leave for work?”
I laugh, cupping her face in both my hands, holding her still so I can kiss her properly. “I’m sorry,” I say against her lips. “But I couldn’t wait to ask.” I kiss her once more before I pull away completely, bending down to help her put on her shoes. “Let’s go,” I say as I stand, pulling her toward the door so we’re not late for work.
When Quinn and I pull up to her dad’s house that afternoon with Max in the backseat, all three of us are shocked to find Ava and Caleb’s cars parked out front.
“Were you expecting them?” I ask Quinn.
“No. Did Dad say anything to you, Max?” Quinn turns in her seat to look at her brother.
“Nope,” he says, popping the p.
Quinn glances over at me, concern evident on her face. I reach over, placing my hand on her leg and squeezing. “If it were bad, someone would have called,” I remind her, putting the car in park and turning it off.
“You’re right.” She may agree with me, but she doesn’t waste any time unbuckling her seatbelt, slipping out of the truck, and leaving all her stuff behind.
“We better hurry and follow her in,” I tell Max.
By the time we both make it into the house, Quinn has already exchanged hellos with everyone, and we can hear her asking why everyone is there.
“I called Caleb and Emily and asked them to meet me here. I knew you all would be getting back from school now, so I figured it would all work out.” I hear Ava say, finding her sitting at the kitchen table with Scott.
“What’s going on?” I ask, walking up behind Quinn. I can see the tension in her body, and I would be concerned, but Ava looks so relaxed. I can’t imagine she has any bad news for us.
“Why don’t you all take a seat?” Ava suggests, looking at all of us still standing.
While Caleb and Emily move to take their usual seats, Quinn doesn’t budge.
I place my hand on her lower back, giving her a light push toward her seat. “It can’t be bad news, Bug. Look how calm both Ava and your dad are,” I whisper in Quinn’s ear, trying to calm her down.
She nods her head slightly, moving to her seat in a trance.
“What’s up?” Caleb asks once Quinn and I are seated.
“I got a call from your mom’s lawyer this morning,” Ava begins. “She’s dropping the case. He didn’t give me any details, but said she decided she didn’t have a chance of winning and didn’t want to live with the embarrassment of it.”
“So, that’s it? It’s over?” Quinn reaches out for my hand.
“Yeah, that’s it.” Ava smiles.
“I don’t have to go with her?” Max asks.
“No, buddy. You’re stuck with me.” Scott smiles at him, ruffling his hair.
Max jumps up from his seat, giving Scott a tight hug. Scott whispers something in Max’s ear, holding him a moment longer before Max pulls away, smiling.
There’s a moment where we sit and take it all in. The drama with everything is officially over. We don’t have to worry about Nicole, where Quinn will be a year from now, or what’s going on with Tyler.
There’s still Scott’s illness we have to come to terms with, but while none of us will ever be ready for it, it’s not unknown. We know our time with him is limited. Having nothing else hanging over our heads means we can actually enjoy our time with him.
Conversation starts again after a minute. Max telling everyone about his first day back to school after winter break. Caleb and Emily giving an update on the baby. Scott sharing what he’s been up to since we saw him a couple of days ago.
I lean back in my seat, placing an arm over the back of Quinn’s chair, and take it all in. Looking around the table at the family I’ve built here. I knew leaving Harborview was the right move for me. After meeting Caleb and Scott, I never questioned my decision to stay in Ashford Falls. Still, sitting here surrounded by these people, I know I couldn’t be happier or more content with where my life brought me.
“Well, Declan and I have decided to move in together.”
I sit up sharply in my seat, startled, turning to look at Quinn.
We talked about it this morning, and I want it very much, but I thought she said she would speak to her dad about it first.
“Are you sure about that?” Scott asks, a smile on his face. “I’m not sure Declan agrees with you based on the look he has.”
“No. We talked about it this morning,” I say, still looking at Quinn, a little stunned.
Quinn turns to look at me. “I decided I was wrong this morning. Dad wouldn’t want me to put my life on hold.” She says it quietly, but I know Scott heard her.
“Of course, I wouldn’t, but why was I part of your conversation?” he asks her.
“I moved home to help you, and I didn’t want to leave and add to your stress. That’s the last thing you need.”
“Bean.” Scott reaches over, placing his hand on hers. “You’re right. I don’t want you putting your life on hold for anything. If Declan makes you happy—and I think he does—then you two should do whatever will keep you both happy. If that’s moving in with each other, I absolutely support that.” He smiles at both of us.
“Maybe I could move into the cottage?” Ava offers from across the table.
“What?” I ask. “You don’t have to leave.”
“I know, but it would be nice to have my own space.” Ava shrugs.
“I think that’s a great idea,” Scott says before anyone can say anything. “The cottage will be empty, and it’s a perfect landing spot for someone in the process of figuring out their next steps.”
“Are you sure?” I ask both of them.
“Absolutely. If Ava wants it, it’s hers for as long as she needs it,” Scott says, his tone telling me it’s no longer up for discussion.
“Can we go back to the two of you living together?” Caleb asks, gesturing to Quinn and me. “I’m not sure how I feel about my sister living with my best friend.” I can see the spark in his eye, telling me he’s not serious.
“Caleb, they spend every night together,” Max says from his seat. “How will this be any different?”
“It just makes it all more real and permanent,” Caleb says, a smile growing on his face when he sees Quinn getting amped up. And sure enough, she starts ranting about how ridiculous he’s being.
I lean back in my seat again, a content smile on my face. Scott catches my eye, and when I turn to look at him, he smiles and gives me a quick nod. Telling me he’s happy for us.
I don’t know what we’ll do when he’s gone, but I know we’ll survive because we’ll lean on each other. None of us will let the others grieve alone, and each of us will keep his memory alive. Although it will be devastating, he’ll never truly leave us. The memory of what an incredible man he is will live on long after he’s gone.
For now, though, I’m just going to soak in the feeling of being surrounded by family because there is nothing better than this feeling.
Quinn leans into my side, bringing my attention back to her. “Thank you for loving my shuttered heart,” she whispers.
“Thank you for loving mine,” I say, pressing a tender kiss to her lips.