Chapter Sixteen
Jamison
Ipushed her too hard. That hadn’t been my intention, but nonetheless, it’s what happened. She hasn’t written me back. Her texts are short. When I ask her about work, she says it’s okay. When I ask her if she’s considering what I planned on our date, she says she isn’t sure yet. And now that I ask her what she thinks of the wedding, she’s clamming up again.
When I read her text, my body deflates further because I want her around me the entire weekend, but she’s right, she needs to check on her parents too.
I’ll see how things go with Dad. I haven’t been back up since his heart attack. I want to clean up their place. Make sure Dad is taking all his medications and help Mom with some shopping.
That’s the longest text she’s given in two weeks.
What I don’t say to Claire is that I check on Billy every day. I help him research that old Hogan Cipher he’s into right now, just to make sure he’s comfortable. I hadn’t told Claire that I brought her mom some groceries, and I know her dad is taking his medications because it was the first thing I asked when I got here this morning.
“Did you see this?” Billy asks as he slides a sheet of paper my way.
The paper is worn and old. It’s been hidden away in stacks of old books about settlements in the area throughout the 1900s. My mom had tons of research on the Hogan Ciphers that I passed on to Billy. She never spoke of it much, but I know she’d tell me not to bother and that it was the biggest hoax of them all. Yet she never threw the research away. Her eyes would go dark when I’d mention it, so I moved on.
“I told you, old man, it’s a hoax.”
He chuckles, but I accept the paper anyway. It’s the ciphertext. The paper the text is written on is worn, tinged in brown, and aged. Its coarse texture and weight makes me recall holding this once before. I couldn’t have been more than ten at the time. The old telegram logo is all but vanished, the ink barely visible now. The numbers are a coded plain text that can only be read with the proper decoder.
“Can’t really do much with this without the decoder,” I remind him.
“True.” Billy sighs and grabs one of the old and bound journals resting nearby. “Have you read these?”
I glance up from my phone and slip it into my pocket. There isn’t a response from my text that I sent Claire telling her we could take care of her father before our date.
“Nah. Not interested in my mother’s diaries.”
I pushed things too fast with Claire. I live in the moment. Claire doesn’t. She’s structured and poised. I’m rough and jagged. I scared her away.
“They’re more than diaries.” Billy clears his throat.
“Shit. Sorry. Lot on my mind.”
“Is this about my daughter?” he asks.
“Come on, old man.” I reach for some survey papers. “Have we reviewed these yet?” I attempt a conversation switch.
“Give her time. She’ll work out whatever has her all worked up. Like I told you from the start, Claire is a tough cookie to crack. With an old man like me for a dad, it makes sense.”
I nod. Without using words, I let him know I’m thankful for the advice. We spend the rest of the evening going over the maps, then I straighten up our mess when the sun starts to set.
“Take your meds, old man,” I say, then rise from the table.
“Yeah, yeah.” He waves me off. “I’ve got this. Make sure you check those old flight patterns before you stop by again.”
I smile and wave the rolled paper in my hand, then snag a yummy pastry from Gloria on the way out.
◆◆◆
“There’s my girl,” Chadwick says, then shoves past me. He takes Claire in his arms and squeezes her. He digs his phone out and starts writing her a message. I watch from my spot next to the loading hangar.
She’s here. I hadn’t expected her this early or for her to come by work. She wasn’t supposed to be in town until later tonight, but it’s only lunchtime. The need to take her in my arms is overwhelming, but I don’t. Billy’s words ring in my mind. Take it slow. Give her time. But patience was never my strong suit.
Claire looks over Chadwick’s shoulder as he’s typing. It’s quick, and he hands her the phone. Her smile is gentle and her eyes soft. She’s dressed in a warm sweater and that denim that molds to her body. My eyes continue to take in the details of her in person because I’ve missed her so much during the couple weeks we’ve been apart.
As Chadwick steals my girl’s attention, her eyes are dancing in humor, but I can no longer stand the distance. My stride is quick until I’m close enough to wrap my arm around her and pull her into my chest. Her back knocks against my chest as my arm tightens around her. I lower my head so I can kiss the top of her head. All things Claire flood into me, and I can finally breathe. Even lifting off hasn’t brought me this level of calm.
She uses a shampoo that reminds me of sandalwood and springtime. Her warmth is the same as the sun beating down in the summer. She gives the phone back to Chadwick. Her hand rubs across my forearm, wrapped across her chest and resting on her shoulder. I’ve buried her into my body just to get close enough to her.
“I’ve missed you,” Claire says. Her voice is delicate. I squeeze even tighter.
I hadn’t given her much of a way to communicate to me without using her voice. I feel bad because I know she doesn’t like to, but a bloom of pride swells in my chest because she spoke with Chadwick nearby. My friends are her friends, and I’m happy she’s comfortable with them.
Chadwick is grinning as he hands her his phone back. He gives me a wink. Claire’s body shakes in my arms, and I try to see what Chadwick wrote to her, but she gives his phone back. I lower my head and nip the skin on her neck playfully. She laughs, and it’s the best fucking sound I’ve ever heard. Well, it’s right there with the sound of her moaning my name.
Just thinking of that sound makes me growl. Claire spins in my arms, her hand landing on my chest. The movement allows me to steal her lips. I kiss her, one of those consuming ones that lets her know exactly how much I’ve missed her.
“Jamison.” Thorne’s voice echoes loudly through the hangar.
I break away and turn toward my boss. He looks worn out and tired. I suppose planning a wedding will do that to a guy. It took him only four years to move on from Mom. I try my damndest not to hold it against him, but considering who he picked, I can’t help it.
I let go of Claire and sign as I speak, “This is my boss, Thorne.” I look at Claire, then back to Thorne. “This is my girlfriend, Claire.”
He extends his hand and shakes hers. “Um, it’s a pleasure,” he says.
Claire clears her throat, “Pleasure to meet you.”
Rylee bounds up and breaks the tension by stepping between Thorne and Claire. I’ve never been more thankful for her intrusion than I am now. Claire needs a moment; she’s fidgeting like she does when she’s anxious. She’s admitted to me that speaking to hearing people makes her nervous.
Rylee signs, Want to eat?
Sure. Claire looks to make sure I’m okay with it. I don’t really care what we do. She nervously worries her lip. The situation seems to overwhelm her, so I give her some time.
We’ll check on your parents first, then go. Meet everyone in a couple of hours, I sign, then turn to Rylee. “Give us a few hours to check on her parents.”
Rylee gives two thumbs up and grabs Chadwick’s arm to pull him away. “Let’s run the next shipment so Jamison can be free.”
Thorne tosses his hands in the air and walks away.
I sign to Claire, Want to see something? I point to the hangar behind us.
I thread my fingers with hers and tug. Once inside the hangar, we pause by my plane. This is mine.
Claire turns my way with the biggest smile. It looks like a giant banana.
The chuckle comes unrestrained. It does.
My plane is yellow with black stripes. I wanted this plane the moment I saw her, and I got her. That’s what I’m accustomed to; I work hard when I see something I want. And I get it.
Claire steps in close and glides her hand along the metal fuselage as she goes. She peeks inside the cockpit. Her gaze is calculating but also a bit nervous. I asked her to fly, but I don’t want to pressure her. I hoped just seeing the plane would pique her interest. The curiosity is blooming, but I’ll give her some time. This weekend we won’t be flying.
Let’s go check on your dad. Today I won’t push her to try something new, something outside her comfort zone. One day she’ll find the motivation to do it herself. I know she has the strength to face all the worries and fears she has. To take a risk on life, and on us.
◆◆◆
The best place in Casper for food is Norma’s. This spot is a meetup for all of Casper’s small population. It’s where you go to get the best waffles, even for lunch. It’s where I came every day after school to grab dinner if Mom was making a late run, and I knew it would be the only way I’d have a warm dinner. Mom always left the essentials like milk and bread, but it was nothing like Norma’s cooking.
Claire’s hand is wrapped in mine. The heat of her palm is comforting, yet the sticky sweat lets me know she’s struggling a bit with where we are. She belongs right here beside me, and I’ll make sure she knows it. Until her anxiety subsides, I’ll hold her secure and let her know I want her here but not to push too hard. I separate our hands for a moment.
We can go home, I sign.
Claire shakes her head and looks around. When her gaze meets mine, she signs, I’m okay. We are just meeting friends.
I can’t help but smile. We are.
“Hey, get your asses over here,” Chadwick yells from our normal booth in the corner. I tilt my head for Claire in the direction of our friends.
She walks ahead but reaches back for my hand. We both settle at the table and wait for Norma to appear. Conversation picks up all around. Chadwick and Rylee are arguing about something, and Finn is finishing a call. He looks up long enough to wave at us, then returns to his conversation. Rylee shoots Claire a big smile and signs hello to her before passing the one menu we have.
For the four of us, we’ve eaten here enough to know what we are ordering already. Claire glances around to see no one else has a menu and everyone is in some type of conversation she can’t hear. The breath she takes is so deep it lifts her chest.
I wave my hand, requesting her attention. The waffles are the best.
She sets the menu aside with a small smile. Is that what you’ll get?
Always. Norma makes the best. I’ve been coming here since I was seven.
Claire’s brow rises. Really?
Our conversation is cut short. “Hey, guys. I’ve brought you all some coffee.” Norma’s sweet voice sounds over us, and I shift her way, still holding Claire’s hand in mine.