CHAPTER 13 - Noah Black
You are the closest I will come to heaven
And I don’t want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Iris – Goo Goo Dolls
His muscles flex as he reaches toward the cabinet and grabs some ingredients. The hem of his black shirt rides up, and my eyes land on his lower abs—tattooed there too, just as I’d imagined.
A shiver runs through me, and I’m grateful to be sitting—my legs might not hold me up under the wave of desire that hits me as I stare at him.
It’s crazy how one moment I’m frightened by his dark side, and the next I want him just as badly as I did when I was eighteen.
Almost as if he feels my gaze, he turns and catches me staring. I look away too quickly, but not before I catch the right corner of his lips curving into an almost smug smile.
I unlock his phone—no password—and open the messaging app, noticing he hasn’t deleted our conversation. My contact is saved as Butterfly, with a little blue butterfly icon beside it.
A lump forms in my throat because I’m still afraid all of this is a dream—or the beginning of a new nightmare.
I still don’t know where I found the courage to leave the mansion, but Greta’s support pushed me to at least try to find some answers. My stomach has been churning ever since I found out what the henchmen did to him.
Everything that bastard Gavin ordered them to do!
I believed he was dead—was completely convinced Gavin had hurt him—but hearing it from his own mouth... with every word he spoke, it felt like a knife being driven into my heart.
I pull my attention from the screen when the familiar scent of coffee mixed with chocolate fills my nose. Bryan sets a steaming mug in front of me, and I try not to focus on the bandage.
I don’t need to say anything when I look at him—he understands.
“I could never forget you like this weird concoction,” he teases, and for a few seconds he seems more like my Bryan—not the man I saw earlier.
Not that I’m afraid of him. Deep down, I know he’d never hurt me.
But it was terrible witnessing him completely out of control.
It was frightening to see my Bryan smashing everything to vent his rage. Even worse was watching him hurt himself without a single complaint as he punched the glass so hard that blood started dripping from his hands.
Even injured, he didn’t grunt in pain, didn’t complain.
He just released the hatred he felt when he learned I’d been hurt.
The man I saw earlier isn’t the same one I met, fell in love with, and wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Something tells me the last few years have shaped him, just as they shaped me. But I wonder what he went through, what he did—and maybe I won’t like the answers.
Is he violent when he’s not with me?
Do I really know him, or do I only see what I want to?
What if, what if, what if?
Every time I get an answer, a new question emerges.
“Why did he hit you?” His rough, deep voice pulls me back.
I take a sip of my drink, trying to buy time—I know it’s because I’m afraid of his reaction. I take a deep breath and pick up the phone, but before I can type, he moves to my side.
His body shifts to cover me entirely, and I shiver.
I’m still not used to how big he is.
He came home from work and I was sleeping when I should have been studying.
“Bastard!” he growls, though he doesn’t shout.
It’s surreal how even spoken quietly, the word sounds loaded with danger and hatred.
He was stressed about something and took it out on me. He does that pretty often.
“I’m going to kill Gavin, Noah,” he says, so coldly that a shiver runs down my spine. “He won’t be alive much longer.”
I don’t want you to destroy your life, Bryan.
I can’t carry that guilt too.
“I don’t have a life if you’re being hurt.
” He spins the stool so I’m facing him. “I’m not that boy anymore, and I think you just witnessed that,” he declares, referring to what happened earlier.
“I’m not a violent guy—not with the people I love—but I have no compassion for people like your father.
For people who hurt what’s mine. The last few years have taught me a lot, especially my profession.
” I narrow my eyes, curious. “I’m going to end him. ” His eyes scream hatred and promise.
I have no doubt he’ll try, and I’m not afraid of him succeeding.
My fear is that he’ll fail and end up destroyed by my father.
What do you do for work?
I type, trying to learn more about him.
Trying not to think about Gavin hurting him again.
“I started a private security company with Luke.” My mouth falls open in surprise, and a smile spreads across my face.
“It’s been three years and we’re already well-known in the field,” he continues, stepping back to give me space to drink my coffee.
“Time has hardened us, and in this business, sometimes we need to cross some lines—do favors so we can call them in later. I’m going to use both to bring down your father. ”
What kind of lines? Illegal stuff?
I type quickly and show him the screen.
Bryan stares at me, seeming to weigh his response.
I wait anxiously, trying not to bite my nails.
He just nods, and my heart races.
“Why were you taking care of Lilian?” he asks, changing the subject, and I watch him pour whisky into a glass.
I hate that he’s still drinking.
I hate that he’s gone back to cigarettes.
I hate not knowing him completely anymore.
Greta accidentally let it slip that she’d taken Lilian to the doctor, that she had severe pneumonia and couldn’t afford treatment.
“Noah, she was living like that because she chose to,” he declares, jaw clenched, and I listen carefully. “Luke and I send her a good amount of money every month, so she didn’t buy the medications because she’s stubborn.”
I had no idea about that, and since I believed she couldn’t afford the treatment, I asked Efraín to pretend he had the same pneumonia symptoms.
“And who is this Efraín?” he asks, downing the shot in one gulp, and something inside me ignites when I catch the hint of jealousy in his question.
Gavin’s driver. He nods, scrutinizing me.
His mother died of pneumonia, so he knew what the symptoms were and how to fake them.
Since Gavin only trusts him and wanted him to get better quickly, he provided the medications.
Efraín would pretend to take them and then help me bring them to your mother in the early hours.
“The night I arrived in town, was he with you?” he asks, leaning against the cabinet.
No. He couldn’t park the car outside, so I had to go on foot.
Bryan closes his eyes and pours himself another shot.
He downs it in one gulp again, wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Tomorrow Lauren will start as Sadie’s teacher.
” The name isn’t unfamiliar, though it takes me a few seconds to realize he’s talking about the girl who used to hang out with his group.
“That’s right,” he answers before I can ask.
“She works for me and is going to try to find out what’s going on inside the mansion. ”
Now it’s my turn to feel a pang of jealousy.
Lauren is beautiful, and what’s more, she always made it clear she was in love with Bryan.
Well, the taste of jealousy is still as bitter as it was five years ago.
I don’t know if it’s a good idea. Do you trust her that much?
“Yes.” The answer is short, and he walks to the sink, setting the glass down. “She’s extremely trustworthy and will help us get you and the little one out of that house.”
Bryan, I really admire that you want to help me, but I don’t even know what I’d do if I actually managed to break free.
“How about starting by actually living?” he asks, moving closer, and he makes it seem so easy.
I’ve been controlled for so many years that I have no idea how to be any different.
I don’t know if I’m willing to risk Sadie’s life.
I know what Gavin and Sarah are capable of—you don’t!
I hand him the phone and step away, needing some air.
He doesn’t follow me as I walk to the porch, and I’m grateful for that, because I need some time alone, away from his presence.