CHAPTER 14 - Noah Black
Even if it's not fair to us both
Maybe I'm just a fool
I still belong to you
Wherever you are
Minefields – Faouzia
I gaze at the endless trees surrounding the house and close my eyes, breathing in the scent of nature. Even though the fortress is also surrounded by trees, I can never feel there the peace that fills me now.
The only feelings inside that hell are dark ones, and even though I feel some of this lightness here, the peace soon fades when my thoughts start consuming me again.
A mix of fear and admiration floods my chest.
I want to pull away to keep Sadie safe, but I can’t.
I want to protest, to say he’ll never be able to save us, but deep down I’m desperate for him to prove me wrong.
I want him to disappear, yet I need him to fight for my girl.
This tug-of-war of feelings, of doubts, is agonizing.
A shiver runs down my spine and I know he’s approaching, so I spin on my heels and find him standing in the doorway, arms crossed, staring at me. Our gazes lock, and I realize that today, every inch of him radiates strength and power.
Bryan isn’t just intimidating in size, but also in his firm gaze and imposing posture. His countless tattoos give the impression he’s capable of anything, and after today, I believe he truly stops at nothing to get what he wants.
To protect his own, as he said himself!
“Noah.” His low voice pulls me back. “I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you both, but I don’t expect you to fully understand my actions.”
I don’t understand.
Not completely.
And that scares me, because even with the jealousy starting to burn inside me, something deeper binds me to him—and to the hope that my life might actually change.
Bryan approaches, his presence so intense that I hold my breath, trying not to let his scent overwhelm me, but it’s useless. When he stops in front of me, he slowly turns me around, pressing my back against his chest.
I close my eyes the instant I feel his hand sweep my hair forward with a gentleness that feels more like reverence.
The first touch of his lips sends a shiver across my skin, and a tear escapes before I can stop it.
The second falls when I realize he’s not just kissing me—he’s mapping my bruises.
The rest of my tears roll freely, mingling pain and relief as he traces each marked spot, kissing gently with all the care in the world.
Some kisses land over my shirt, while others—on my shoulders and arms—press directly against my skin, making every hair on my body stand on end.
With his lips on my skin, I let myself drift back to the past—to the night of our first kiss.
I try to concentrate on the assignment due tomorrow, knowing I should focus only on it. Of all the tutors Gavin hired, Diana is the biggest shrew. If I get a bad grade, she’ll tell him, and I know there will be consequences.
Still, the letters blur together as I try to read. Frustrated, I set the notebook aside and flop back, trying to clear my mind and get Bryan out of my head once and for all.
When Tessa convinced me to sneak out and see a bit of the world, I hesitated, afraid, but I decided to take the risk anyway. I’d never left the mansion without my parents—they’re terrified I’ll mingle with outsiders.
Tessa is the only exception because she’s Greta’s daughter—the housekeeper who’s been with us for years. I never imagined I’d meet him, let alone fall under his spell after just one brief encounter, but that’s exactly what happened.
I can’t forget our conversation, the patient way he taught me to skip stones, how he worried about me enough to offer his own jacket. But mostly, I can’t shake his intense gaze, so full of unspoken words.
I sit up again, shaking my head to chase away the memories, but before I can pick up the notebook, I hear a soft knock. When I look at my window, my eyes nearly pop out of my head—Bryan is staring at me from the balcony.
I scramble up, press the bedroom door shut, and rush to the window, throwing it open.
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to talk to you,” he replies, one corner of his mouth lifting. “Talking to a tree must get old.”
My heart races as I remember saying that to him that night.
“This is crazy. If my parents find you here, they’ll kill us.”
“What’s life without a little risk?” he asks, and I stare at him in disbelief.
“You told me some risks aren’t worth it,” I murmur.
“You’re worth it, girl,” he says, dead serious, and my stupid heart races. “If you let me in, it’ll be way more interesting than standing out here, you know?”
“Oh my God.” I step back to make room. “Please don’t make any noise,” I whisper as he jumps into the room.
“Silence is my middle name,” he jokes, and I shake my head as I go back to the door and lock it. “Studying at two in the morning?”
“It’s an assignment due first thing tomorrow, and I couldn’t get to it during the day.” I shrug.
“Want help?” he offers.
“Are you good at math?” I raise an eyebrow hopefully.
“No.” I let out a laugh and gather all my stuff, setting it on the desk.
“Sit there.” I point to the bed and sit beside him. “Why did you really come here?”
“I really wanted to talk to you and find out if everything went okay the other night.”
“No problems—they didn’t find out I snuck out.” I smile, and he reaches up to touch my face. “What are you doing?”
“Admiring.” The word comes out easily, and he moves closer. “I can’t get you out of my head, Butterfly,” he says, bluntly, as if he couldn’t hold it in any longer.
Me neither.
I think it, but I don’t have the courage to say it out loud. Instead, I focus on breathing in his scent.
It’s surreal that I’ve been missing even his cologne—something I only smelled once.
“What does that mean?” I ask, letting his calloused fingers trace over my freckles.
He seems to be counting each one.
“I don’t know.” He lowers his hand, frustrated. “I just know I needed to see you, so I waited until the middle of the night so no one would spot me.”
“I missed you too,” I confess, and I know my cheeks must be red as an apple.
“You’re even more beautiful when you blush,” he teases, tilting my chin up. “That night I taught you how to skip stones, and tonight you taught me something too.”
“What?”
“How to climb trees.” I laugh. “And I’ll admit, I thought it would be easier.” He shows me his arms, scratched up from the branches. “But seeing you smile was worth every scratch.”
“You know you can’t keep coming here, right?” I ask, letting my smile fade because I can’t afford to keep this up.
“Who says I can’t?”
“My parents,” I answer, as if it weren’t obvious.
“What if we ran away?” he blurts out, and I laugh. “You’re already of age, right?”
“I turn eighteen in a month and a week,” I reply, playing along.
“I’m twenty-four, so we’re all set!”
“You’re forgetting the part where we just met.” I lie back on the bed.
“And? I know we’re going to get married someday,” he replies, lying down beside me. “And we’ll live in Las Vegas.”
“Why Vegas, of all places?”
“Because in Vegas, no one will look at us funny. I’ll hit the casinos, win a ton of money, and buy us a house,” he says dreamily. “In that city, we can be whoever we want.”
“You’re crazier than I thought.” I stare at the ceiling, a goofy smile on my face.
“I’ll give you that,” he replies, and I turn on my side to find him already watching me.
“I thought I was sane, but then you showed up at the lake, and ever since, I’ve been losing my mind.
” I smile like an idiot. “My heart has never beaten this fast,” he says, pressing my hand to his chest so I can feel the frantic beats.
“You sound like a lovesick teenager,” I tease, sure he must be joking.
“I don’t think I’m a teenager anymore, but lovesick? I’m pretty sure I am,” he says, as if his words aren’t setting off fireworks inside me.
I love butterflies, and right now I’m certain there are dozens of them going wild in my stomach.
“Do you say that to all the girls?” I pull my hand away, a sudden wave of jealousy washing over me.
“No. Only the ones I have to climb trees for.” He breaks into a full smile.
It’s the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.
Especially paired with those clear blue eyes.
We stare at each other, and without realizing it, our bodies drift closer.
Bryan cups my face, bringing his lips close to mine, but not quite touching.
“Butterfly, can I kiss you?”
“How badly do you want to?”
“A lot. Even more than getting out of this town, and that’s been my dream since I was six.”
“Then I think that’s reason enough…”
“Does that mean…?”
“That my first kiss is yours,” I reply, and his eyes light up.
“Not just that one, but the second, third, and every one after,” he says with captivating confidence, and finally presses our lips together.
It’s like an explosion of sensation that starts at my lips and rushes through my entire body.
Everything around us disappears when I close my eyes and surrender to the moment. I taste his soft lips against mine. His hand moves firmly to the back of my neck, drawing a sigh from my lips. The heat in my body intensifies when he settles on top of me, careful not to let his weight crush me.
My hands slide to his back, slipping under his shirt and roaming over his skin, trying not to tremble with nervousness and excitement.
His free hand trails down my side, exploring, and each touch awakens a sensation I never imagined I could feel.
When his tongue seeks mine, I let him find me, even though I have no idea what I’m doing.
I must be doing something right, because he lets out a low sound of pleasure.
The kiss isn’t quick—it’s slow and exploratory, and I could spend hours kissing him.
But I need to breathe, and when Bryan realizes I can’t take anymore, he releases my lips.
He doesn’t stop kissing me, though. Instead, he scatters kisses across my freckles, then moves to the corner of my mouth, then down to my neck.
I never thought I could feel everything that’s flooding through me.
It’s as if he knows every inch of my body and exactly what to do to make me completely surrender.
When he looks at me again, I completely forget that we could be caught, and that according to everything I was taught, this is completely wrong and impure.
Bryan gives me a crooked smile, and when he notices my breathing has returned to normal, his lips find mine again—this time faster.
I squirm restlessly, not knowing exactly what I want, but feeling a tingling between my thighs.
I feel something pressing against me and I know it’s his cock, but I’m not scared.
I keep surrendering to the kiss with everything I have, hoping this tingling will ease, but with every second our lips stay together, it only intensifies.
Minutes later, he pulls away, and when he looks at me with fire in his eyes, a nervous laugh escapes me. His fingers brush my lips, and he gives me another smile that makes me melt.
“That…” I manage to murmur, still in disbelief, “was really good.” I bite my lip nervously, and he caresses my cheek.
I hope I don’t go to hell for kissing someone my parents didn’t choose for me.
“Perfect. That was perfect, but only because it was with you, Butterfly,” he says, pressing his forehead to mine. “There will never be another kiss like this.”
And in this moment, I believe him, because I never thought I would feel something so deep, so intense with anyone. Something tells me I’ll only find this intensity with him—with Bryan—and now more than ever, I hate the possibility of not being able to spend my life with someone I chose for myself.
I snap out of the memory as soon as I feel the cold of him pulling away, his hands gently turning me to face him. His eyes hold the same intensity and longing as the night we first kissed.
I hold my breath as nervousness takes over.
I’m not ready for this.
My eyes practically scream it at him, and he brings his fingers to my lips, exactly like he did that night.
“I know, Butterfly,” he says, and it’s almost scary how well he knows me. “I’ll wait as long as it takes until you’re ready, because staying away from you was never an option.” His fingers trace up my face. “It was just a lie I had to cling to in order to survive the hell of these past few years.”
Without waiting for my response, he pulls me back into his arms. I nestle into his chest, and for a few seconds, I manage to forget how cruel the world is.
I forget everything that happened to me, every broken piece of me.
And above all, I cling desperately to the hope that he’ll be able to gather up and piece together every fragment of what I’ve become.