Chapter 27
Twenty-Seven
Terror has me frozen in place. Bones crunch, then fire roars up from the bottom of the pit, and I jerk back. My captors release me as they scramble away from the hole.
Only Brevan and Caiden remain still.
The scent of brimstone lingers, and I wait, expecting to see more fire, but it’s eerily still, too quiet.
Caiden walks toward me, as proud as a new father holding his babe. “Princess, allow me to escort you to your new rooms. I’m sure you’re tired, and we can’t have you sleeping in a room with a secret passageway out of the castle.”
He loops his arm through mine, and I walk alongside him, numb. Katherine is gone.
And a dragon ate her.
The new room is next door to Juliette’s. She stops by to check on me, but I don’t open the door.
I don’t open it for dinner, either.
When the sun sets and the lamps don’t automatically light, I sit in the dark, staring at the smoldering embers of the dying fire.
I can’t believe she’s gone. I can’t believe that I stood by and did nothing. It could have been me. It should have been me.
It shouldn’t have been anyone.
Because we shouldn’t have to live in a world like this. I ball the fabric of my dress up in my fists. My emotions are a tangled mess. Tears stream down my cheeks but I’m not sure if they’re from sorrow or rage.
I race to the door and fling it open. Without a backward glance at my room or the enforcer, I start down the hall.
“Princess, where are you going?” he calls.
I don’t stop moving.
“You can’t be out right now. Return to your room.”
I ignore him. My whole body feels wound as tight as a spring. If I don’t get out of this place I will lose it completely.
He grabs my shoulder. “Princess.”
I shrug him off. “I need some air.”
“It’s late,” he says.
“I don’t care. I need out of this castle right now.”
He quickly moves in front of me, blocking my path. “Return to your room before you cause a scene.”
“I would rather take your sword in my chest than go back to my room right now,” I hiss. “I swear to the gods if you don’t get out of my way, I will make you move.”
His brow furrows slightly, as if there’s the smallest flicker of concern.
I shove past him, half expecting him to restrain me, but he follows alongside me instead.
“And where exactly are you going?” he says.
“I don’t know. I just know I can’t be here.” I make my way down the stairs, needing to find a way to get outside the walls. I don’t care where I go, I just need to breathe, and I can’t do that here.
“You need to go back to your rooms. Now.”
I stop and glare at him. “Or what? You’ll feed me to a dragon, too?”
Conversation floats toward us. We aren’t alone in the hall. Brevan’s eyes go wide and he pulls open the nearest door, then shoves me inside.
We’re in a dark linen closet. “What are you doing?”
He covers my mouth with his large hand. “For once in your life, shut up.”
I grip his wrist and pull his hand from my mouth and just as I’m about to tell him to go fuck himself, I hear the voices again. They’re approaching our hiding place.
“What I wouldn’t give to see that bitch bloody and screaming,” a male voice says.
“She thought she was so much better than us,” a second voice says. “Just because her family owned more land than anyone else.”
“Well, now there’s none of them left to hold that land. I heard the prince himself burned their whole estate to the ground. No survivors,” the first man says.
“It’s too bad. I was looking forward to her sister joining her at court next year,” the first says.
Their conversation fades as they pass us and I sink to the floor, horrified by their words. Caiden was every bit the monster I thought he was.
Brevan crouches down next to me, his body outlined by the faint light coming in from the crack under the door. “Are you alright?”
“How old was her sister?” My voice is small.
“Don’t do that to yourself. You didn’t cause this.” He extends his hand. “Come on, I’ll get you back to your room.”
But I did, didn’t I? She was assisting me. This was my fault. How many more would die because of me? I was sent here to find answers, to help people. And all I’ve done is get people killed.
I rise, then tug on the high collar of my dress, suddenly feeling like I’m suffocating. My breathing quickens and my pulse grows rapid. I feel too hot.
Brevan stands, then reaches for me. “Princess? Are you alright?”
“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be here. I can’t watch more innocent people die.” I tear at the dress, pulling on laces and ties frantically. How did I even get this dress on? Why do I even need these stupid fucking dresses in the first place?
“Deep breaths,” Brevan says. “I think we should go. You need to lay down, get some rest.”
“Don’t pretend you care. You do whatever they ask you to. You’re just as bad as the rest of them.” I shove him in the chest and he stumbles a little.
“You act like you’re some noble hero while you blindly follow orders.” I shove him again. “You have more blood on your hands than anyone.”
I go to shove him again, but he catches my wrists. “Does that make you feel better, princess? To yell at me and act like you’re morally superior? We’re the same you, and I. Pieces in someone else’s game.”
I tug my arms away. “I am nothing like you.” I shove him again as tears stream down my cheeks. When I push him again, he captures me in his arms, pulling me to his chest.
I scream and struggle, trying to get free.
“Go ahead. Let it out.” He releases me. “You want to be angry at someone? Be mad at me.” He holds his hands up in front of him.
I narrow my eyes, suspicious.
“Go on.” He makes a fist and punches his opposite hand, then opens them both, palms facing me. “As hard as you can. Get it out. Punch me.”
I clench my teeth and ball my hands into fists. Then I punch his open palm. It hurts my knuckles, but I ignore the pain, doing it again and again. He barely flinches.
“Keep going,” he encourages. “Harder.”
I punch him again.
“I said, harder.”
I continue until there’s nothing left and all the fight is gone. I’m sobbing now, my whole body shaking. Exhausted, I lean my forehead against his chest. He pulls me closer, holding me with one arm while he rubs my back with his other hand.
We stay like that for several minutes until there’s no tears left. I lean back enough to wipe my face and he offers a handkerchief.
“Just in case you come across a damsel in distress?” I ask.
“You’d be amazed by how many damsels I come across.” He gently wipes my tears, then hands it to me so I can blow my nose.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you.”
“Never apologize for seeing what’s wrong with the world,” he says.
“How do you do it?” I ask. “How do you live with yourself?”
“I end up in bars and drink too much and make a fool out of myself in front of beautiful women,” he says.
I chuckle. “You’re not like them, are you?”
“I am what I have to be,” he says.
“So am I,” I admit. “I’m just not sure how long I can keep doing it.”
He tilts my chin and his thumb brushes across my cheek. “You’re stronger than you realize.”
Something electric dances over my skin, making my whole body feel alive. I’m overheating now for a completely different reason, and I swear if I stay too close to this man I’m going to cross a line I won’t recover from. “We should go.” My words come out breathy.
He moves his hand, then clears his throat. Without a word, he reaches for the door and lets us out.
I’m silent on the walk back to my room but once I’m alone, I grab a pillow and press it against my face. I scream. And scream. And scream.
Katherine is dead but all I can think about is how badly I want the man who is standing outside my room in my bed.
What the fuck is wrong with me?