Chapter 28
Twenty-Eight
When my ladies bring breakfast, I make myself eat. I didn’t sleep last night. Every time I got close, I saw the dragon and Katherine all over again.
My face is puffy, and I look like I haven’t slept in days.
After I finish eating, I open my door and find Brevan waiting there. He tenses when he sees me.
“How did you sleep?” His tone is as it always is. As if I didn’t collapse into a crying mess in his arms last night.
“I’m fine, thank you. Can you please ask Juliette if she’ll come to my room?”
He nods, and I close the door.
There’s a knock less than a minute later, and I let Juliette inside.
She approaches me cautiously. “I heard.”
“Did you hear how?” I ask.
“No.”
“Torture. Then, fed to a dragon,” I say.
She blinks a few times, then walks to the sitting area and collapses into an overstuffed chair.
I take the seat next to hers. I need Juliette in my corner even if I can’t trust her.
Being obviously angry with her would be suspicious.
Afterall, she discovered a spy who was in my service.
I can’t show how much I miss Katherine. It takes everything I have to hold back the tears and maintain a steady voice.
“She was brave. Insisted she was alone. That she knew nothing else.”
“She could have turned both of us in,” Juliette says. “Did Caiden say anything?”
“No. I suspect he’ll pretend like it never happened.”
“I killed her.” She looks at me. “And I could have killed you, too.”
“I think Katherine would forgive you.” I don’t know if that’s true, but it seems like the right thing to say.
She shakes her head. “I should have just married him.”
Some of my anger wanes. What would I sacrifice to avoid marrying Caiden? And wasn’t I just as guilty as Juliette? I did nothing. Stood by and watched her die while I shared her crime. “Don’t do that to yourself. If you married him, you’d be dead, too.”
“We don’t know that.”
“Don’t waste her sacrifice.” I say it for both of us. I know I’ll need to keep reminding myself. That’s the only thing I can do to honor Katherine. It’s even more important that I succeed.
We fall into a long silence, then after a while, Juliette looks at me with furrowed brows. “Did you say a dragon? Like a real dragon, or was that a metaphor?”
“A real dragon. In a pit in the dungeon. I think they clipped its wings.” My heart cracks again. The beast ate my friend, but it’s locked away, trapped, and probably starving.
“You’re sure?”
I nod.
“I thought they all died centuries ago.” Her brow furrows.
“The emperor has been around for centuries,” I remind her.
“Do you think the dragon has something to do with his immortality?” she asks.
“No.” I’m certain it’s the relics, but I’m not going to tell her that.
“You were just—curious, right? Just helping the prince?”
“Of course,” I tell her.
“So, no more research?” Her shoulders sag in relief.
“No. But I do think I need those books about the gods. It will be a nice way to redirect my time. The late empress has a beautiful temple. I think she’d want me to be more pious.”
“That’s nice. She’d have liked you. And she’d have liked to know that her faith will be taught to her grandchildren one day.” She smiles at me. “You didn’t get much sleep last night, did you?”
“Why do you think I asked you to come over? I need you to make me look like I haven’t been crying all night.”
“Of course,” she says.
Juliette is still a liability. She didn’t give them my name, and I suspect it’s because she knows how this game is played. That the whole court revolves around your proximity to power. And as the future wife of the prince, I hold more power than most.
But I know I can’t trust her. I can’t trust anyone.
Even Lee let me down. Lied about my brothers and deprived me of my only way to communicate when he took my ruby. And now, I’m trapped inside the castle without any way to contact him.
I’m going to have to finish this on my own.
First the emperor, then the prince.
Then, maybe I’ll even release their dragon.
I spend hours every day in the empress’s temple.
I eat with my ladies and engage in court gossip, hoping something that can help me is let slip.
I avoid Brevan as much as possible, only making polite conversation with him as he leads me to the temple or to dinners with Caiden.
My embroidery improves, and I read several of the books about the gods.
I even manage to retrieve the books that were left behind in Katherine’s room.
I am the model of what a princess should be while I quietly research and buy time.
Sometimes, the prince joins me in the temple. He lights a candle and bows his head, then sits silently. He never stays long.
Dinners with him are quiet and reserved. I ask him about his day. He asks me about mine. But he doesn’t share details, and my details aren’t interesting.
I still can’t find a way to kill the emperor. And I’m running out of time. I’m monitored whenever I leave my room, so books are my only option, and I have to be careful with those after everything that happened.
I scour every inch of the walls in my new rooms and come up wanting. They must have made sure I got a room with no exits. I am trapped.
Will I spend the rest of my life in this role? Living someone else’s life? What happens if I have to go through with the gifting ceremony and the wedding? Having children? Becoming empress eventually?
My head hurts. I rub my temples and close my eyes.
“Are you ill, Your Highness?” Antonia asks.
I look up. “It’s just a headache.”
“Shall I send for tea?” she asks.
“Thank you.” I’m holding a book but mostly I stare at the fireplace, watching the dancing flames. It’s still too difficult to focus and I worry that I’m letting Katherine, and everyone in the rebellion, down.
Antonia returns a minute later and sits next to me, embroidery hoop in hand. “I requested peppermint. It’s soothing.”
She pays more attention to me than ever before.
Antonia’s desperate to fill the role that Marian, then Katherine, held as my closest companion.
It didn’t work out so well for either of them, but I understand her desire.
She’s from the least noble house of all my ladies, even though she makes an effort to be the most proper.
She’s determined to improve her family’s station.
“Sorry I’m late,” Charlotte announces as she sweeps into the room. “I overslept.”
“Busy night?” Genevieve lifts her eyebrows.
Charlotte’s cheeks turn pink. “Trouble sleeping, but I’ll take a tonic tonight.”
“You’re alright,” I tell her. “You didn’t miss anything.”
Charlotte is having an affair with a legionnaire. We all pretend we don’t know, but she’s terrible at hiding it. I keep wondering if we need to intervene before she’s caught by her family or a higher-ranking soldier.
“Does that tonic happen to get delivered by a certain legionnaire?” Genevive teases.
Charlotte scans the room, her eyes as wide as a child who was just caught sneaking sweets before dinner.
“How’s your mother, Genevieve?” I ask to change the subject.
“She’s better, thank you.” Her shoulders ease and she takes a seat at one of the chairs nearby. “All that praying you did for her helped.”
I don’t believe that, but it seems to comfort her. “I hope she’s able to leave her bed soon.”
“The doctors say her breathing has improved and she can probably travel again by spring.” She picks up a deck of cards and starts shuffling them.
“Good. I look forward to meeting her,” I say.
Genevieve’s mother was a friend to the empress and from a prestigious family.
But she is a widow, so she didn’t have as much authority as the houses with men at the helm.
It is stupid and outdated, especially given all the stories I’ve heard from Genevieve about her mother. She has survived more than most men.
A knock sounds on the door, and I flinch.
“That’ll be the tea.” Antonia rushes to answer.
But it’s not tea. It’s Brevan. He bows. “Your Highness, may I have a word with you?”
I haven’t been able to look him in the eye since our moment in the closet. It was too personal. Too vulnerable. I wasn’t sure how to act around him anymore, so I’d been avoiding him. I suppose I couldn’t get away with it forever.
I set down my book, then walk over to him.
“How can I help you, Enforcer?” I step into the hallway, hoping we’re out of earshot of the others.
“Oh, so that’s how we’re going to play it,” he says.
“You dropped a woman into a pit so she could be eaten by a dragon,” I say, choosing to dance around the other topic. Being angry at him for Katherine gives me an excuse. Especially around others.
“She was already dead before I dropped her,” he says.
I know that’s true; I watched her take her last breath. “That was luck.”
“No. It was magic.” His expression is deadly serious.
“Your magic?” For the first time since that night, I meet his gaze.
He nods.
“Why didn’t you tell me that before? How did you—?”
He holds up a hand to stop me. “Another time.” His glance behind me lets me know that we have an audience.
“Fine.”
“I’m here because we need to resume your training,” he says. “It’s been too long.”
“I don’t see the point if I never leave the castle,” I reply.
He leans down and lowers his voice. “There will come a time soon when I won’t be here to protect you.”
“Soon?” My heart falls into my stomach.
“Don’t act like you’ll miss me, Princess.” He scoffs.
“Of course I won’t,” I lie. “But I can’t deny that you are the best fighter we have.”
“Say that one more time for me?” he teases.
“Maybe you should get going.” I take a step back, afraid I’m letting myself get too close again.
“And maybe you should be ready for training after breakfast tomorrow.”
“I go to the temple after breakfast.” I cross my arms.
He leans closer to me. “You’re going to go train.”
“I don’t want to.”
“You are. And do you know how I know that you are?”
I put my hands on my hips. “How?”
He pulls me away from the door, then his lips brush against my ear. Chills shiver down my neck, into my arms. “You’ll train with me tomorrow because I know you were lying in the dungeon.”
I swear I can feel the blood drain from my face. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
He straightens, then takes a step away from me. “Training. Tomorrow. Be ready.” He bows. “Princess.” Then he returns to his position against the wall, his gaze piercing right through me as if I don’t exist.
He knows I was lying.
But which lie did he catch?