Chapter 29
Twenty-Nine
“It’s raining,” I say as I step into the hallway.
“So?” Brevan asks.
“You want me outside in the mud?” I groan. “Of course you do. You’d love to see me covered in mud again, wouldn’t you?”
“The thought has crossed my mind, but alas, we will be training indoors,” he says. “Let’s go.”
My shoulders slump. The rain was my ticket out of this.
The only thing I can think about as I follow him down the hall is that he knows a secret about me and I’m not sure which one. “Are you ever going to explain what you said to me yesterday?”
“Soon,” he says.
“Do you ever get tired of giving cryptic responses?” I ask.
“Do you ever get tired of asking questions?”
“No.”
“Then you understand,” he says.
I sigh. He’s going to drag this out. At least I know that he won’t turn me over to Caiden. If he was planning to, he’d have done it already.
We’re silent as we continue through the castle, traveling down stairs and through halls until I’m not sure where we are. All I know is that I’m pretty sure we’re not heading in the direction of the dungeons. I could live the rest of my life happily if I never saw that place again.
It feels like a dark cloud falls around me when I realize that that’s probably going to be the last place I ever see.
We’re in the lower levels and we pass the servants’ quarters before turning into a large open room. A bucket of wooden swords sits in a corner. A target with a few knives stuck in it occupies another corner.
At least there aren’t any ladders or logs.
Brevan closes the door behind us, then turns to face me. “How many times did you use that tunnel in your bathroom?”
My face heats. “I didn’t know there was a tunnel there.”
“You’re lying.” He moves closer to me. “You see, I thought I couldn’t sense when you lie. I can’t feel your intentions at all. You’re the only person I’m closed off from. But you have a tell. You bite down on the inside of your cheek when you lie. Did you know that?”
My lips part. Is that true? “I don’t do that.”
“You do.”
“I’m not doing it now.” I put my hands on my hips.
“You’re not lying right now,” he says.
“How did you even notice that?” It would have to be such a subtle movement since I wasn’t even aware I was doing it.
“It’s a little flicker of motion on one side of your lips.”
“You must spend a lot of time staring at my lips,” I accuse.
“I do.”
My face heats for an entirely different reason now.
“So what exactly did I lie about?” I ask, crossing my arms. It’s a desperate attempt to change the subject of the conversation back to the lying. Letting myself linger on the fact that he has been staring at my lips is too much.
“You lied to Caiden about the tunnel,” he says. “It was quite convincing. Fooled him, but your tell got you.”
I resist the urge to let out a breath of relief. There are far worse things he could have caught. I must not bite my cheek with each lie.
“Besides, how else did you sneak out that night I found you at the tavern? There are some terrible guards in the Night Legion, but none bad enough to miss a woman leaving her room.”
That’s how he knows. He’s guessing about me having a tell. “I was worried about Katherine.”
“She was probably out meeting with her contact,” he says.
“I didn’t know that then,” I say, careful to keep my jaw in place.
“I know.”
“She didn’t deserve what happened, you know. She didn’t deserve that pain.”
“The only penalty for treason is death,” he says. “She would have died one way or another.”
“But the torture.”
“She was a spy, Sabina,” he says.
I flinch. It’s the first time he’s ever used my name.
“I’m sorry, Your Highness,” he corrects.
“No, no, it’s fine. I like how my name sounds when you say it.” What the fuck is wrong with me?
“I shouldn’t,” he says. “It’s not how things are done.”
“How did you end her life?” I need to focus, not flirt with him. “She was breathing, then she was gone. Like she fell asleep.”
He walks over to the target and pulls the knives out, then returns to where I’m standing. He hurls one at the target. It bounces off the center then clanks on the ground. His brow furrows, and he runs his thumb along the edge of a blade. “These are dull.”
“Brevan. What did you do?”
He drops his arms to his side. “I don’t know if I should answer. Nobody, I mean nobody, knows of this gift. Not Caiden. Not even the emperor.”
“You can make people die?” I ask, horrified.
“No, not unless they’re already heading there, I can speed it up. Make it peaceful.” He’s looking down, as if ashamed by his actions.
“That’s a beautiful gift.” I touch his arm and when he looks at me, I smile. “Really, it is. If something were to happen to me that put me in that situation, I’d like for you to make it peaceful.”
“You won’t be in that situation because I’m going to help you learn how to stay alive.” He grabs a knife by the point, then hands me the hilt.
“I thought we had to do balance first?” I ask.
“You and I both know that’s going to end badly.”
I don’t disagree, so I take the knife.
“Now, when you have a knife like this, you have to account for the weight. If it’s unbalanced, like these dull blades are, you have to adjust for that.
Every weapon will feel different. Will throw differently.
Unless you carry your own personal daggers on you everywhere you go, you should practice with a variety of knives to get a feel for how they respond. ”
“Alright.” I’m surprised that I want to learn. And not because the skill would help me, but because it seems to matter to Brevan. I don’t want to let him down.
“Try it,” he says.
“You’re kidding, right? Just throw it? That’s all the information I get?”
“Try it first, then I’ll help you adjust,” he says.
I grip the handle, point down, then lift my arm and throw. The blade doesn’t even reach the target and I’m standing embarrassingly close.
Brevan laughs.
“Hey.” I shove him. “You did that on purpose.”
“I didn’t expect you to be that bad,” he says.
“How about you actually teach?”
He grabs another knife, holds the hilt, then shows me how to line it up with the target and aim. There’s a certain way to flick your wrist when you throw that he makes look effortless. It can’t be that hard.
My next four throws all land on the ground. I groan. “It looks so easy when you do it.”
“You’ll get there.” Brevan moves behind me, then grips my wrist with his hand. He guides me through the motions, his body pressing into mine as he does.
My pulse races. My face heats. The places where his hands are touching me feel like they’re on fire. I don’t want him to back away. I want him to get even closer. To move that hand on my stomach up or down. To explore.
He wraps his other arm around my waist, then rests his palm on my stomach. “Keep your core tight. You’re twisting at the last minute, which will change your aim.”
I clear my throat and step away from him. “I think I’ve got it. Let me try.”
I throw that knife like my life depends on it.
It hits the target.
I jump and cheer. Brevan captures me, his arms around my waist, and he spins me around. Then, he stops, still holding me elevated so my face is level with his. His warm breath caresses my face and sweat shimmers on his brow.
He’s breathing far too heavily for the mild exertion. I know he’s feeling the same things I’m feeling. What if I just leaned down a little?
He sets me back on the ground then hurries to retrieve all the fallen knives. “That was good. You were nowhere near hitting the center, but you made progress. Let’s keep going. When you get a bullseye, we can be done for today.”
It takes me twelve tries before I hit the center of the target. When I do, I drop the other knife I’m holding and jump with excitement.
Brevan smiles. “Good work.”
“Now, realistically, am I ever going to throw a knife at someone?” I ask.
“Probably not, it would be more likely that you’d need to stab them at a close distance,” he says. “But throwing helps gain confidence. Plus, I wanted to see if you’d give up.”
“I don’t give up easily,” I tell him. Then I realize that’s not true. I gave up after my brothers died. And I’ve been struggling here to complete my mission.
“Good. Because tomorrow you’ll be learning how to defend yourself against an attacker,” he says.
“After breakfast?” I ask.
“Yes. I’ll be outside your room.”
“For now,” I say.
“As long as I’m in the castle, I’ll be here.”
I swear I can still feel the heat from where his hands were on my body. I am not supposed to be thinking about him like this. It is dangerous and stupid. And it is a betrayal to everything my family sacrificed.
“Does the emperor know how to fight? Or does he just count on his immortality?” I ask.
“That’s a dangerous question considering what you were helping Katherine research,” he warns.
“I know. But the emperor isn’t the only one, is he? The empress is dead, but she lived longer than a normal mortal. Her mother is still alive and looks far too young. Is Caiden immortal, too?” What if he is? What if he was given the same gift? That would make it even harder to take them down.
“I don’t know how any of that works, and I know it’s dangerous to ask. I also know your father continues to search for a way to do it himself.” His brow furrows. “Is that why you were looking? Did your father ask you to find out?”
I’m careful not to give anything away when I reply. “No, I didn’t even know that he wanted to be immortal. But he did speak about how the emperor was, so I think that’s why I was so curious.”
“You need to let it go. That curiosity is only going to get you killed.” He removes a knife from the target and tosses it in the basket on the ground. I walk over to him and help remove the remaining knives.
“Or fed to a dragon?” I ask. “How does he even have a dragon? We’ve been told they’re all gone.”
“They are. He’s the last one. The only one left.”
“And he’s kept like that? In a pit with no sunlight or trees or companionship?” I ask. The emperor is a blight on everything he touches.
“Dragons are dangerous. Unpredictable.”
“So are emperors and princes.” I drop a knife into the basket, then turn to grab another. Our hands meet as we both try to grab the same knife. Instead of pulling away, I close my fingers around his hand.
We’re so close again, and this time, I don’t want to move away.
“Anyone can be unpredictable when pushed too far,” he says.
“Maybe sometimes that’s not a bad thing.” My words come out breathy.
He leans closer to me, and those flutters return to my stomach.
“Tell me why you really snuck out that night,” he says.
“I needed to get away.” I glance down, breaking eye contact. “I miss home.” I look back up at him, knowing my words are genuine. I don’t have to worry about him catching me lying. “I miss my family and friends. I miss everything.”
He places his other hand on top of mine. “I understand that. I was new to this court once, too.”
“How did you learn to adjust?” I ask.
“I took things one day at a time,” he says. “I found small joys. Things that were just for me.”
If I rose on my toes, my lips would touch his. I’m considering it. It’s insane. It’s stupid. I hate how much I’m drawn to him. Like it’s natural to be this close to him.
I feel safe when he’s around. “Thank you for watching over me.”
“Always.” His smile is sad. Probably because he knows our time is limited.
It’s the reminder I need to remove my hand and take a step back. I’m already in enough trouble after everything with Katherine. I don’t need to add kissing the prince’s closest companion to my list of misdeeds.
I just need to resist until he leaves. It’s easier that way. Especially because after I do what I came for, he’ll never look at me with longing or kindness again.
The door bursts open, and a legionnaire races inside. “Sorry to interrupt.”
My cheeks heat, and I’m grateful I just stepped away from Brevan.
“What is it?” Brevan pulls the last knife out and drops it in the basket without looking.
“The emperor requests your presence immediately.” He opens his mouth to speak again, then closes it when he notices me watching him. He doesn’t trust me. “You should come right now.”
“Sabi—Your Highness, can you make your way back to your room?”
“Yes. Go!” I give him a little push. “Don’t worry about me.”
He hurries from the room, and for the first time, I don’t have any guards following me or checking on me.
Whatever is going on is clearly urgent. I might have some time on my own.
Brevan trusts me to return to my room, and I hate that I’m breaking that trust, but I have to get a message to the rebellion.
Which means I have to get out of this castle.