Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
The invitation appears under my door three days after Nico's bond snapped into place, printed on heavy cream cardstock with formal script that announces the Academy's Annual Winter Masquerade as a mandatory event for all students.
I stare at it while getting dressed, my body still aching from the broken bond that sits under my ribs like a constant bruise, and wonder how I'm supposed to make it through an entire evening in a ballroom full of people when I can barely make it through a single class without wanting to crawl out of my own skin.
The heat hasn't stopped. If anything, it's gotten worse.
The books said peak heat happens around day three, and I'm there now, my body broadcasting something I can't control to every unmated male within range.
People look at me differently in the corridors now, conversations stopping when I walk past. Even human students seem to pick up on something being different about me even if they can't name what it is.
Lily helps me get ready because I can't manage the dress on my own.
It's hers, borrowed from the back of her closet where she keeps the formal things she never wears.
Deep green silk that fits better than it should, and when she laces up the back I can feel the fabric against my hypersensitive skin like it's made of something rougher than it actually is.
"You look beautiful," she says, standing back to assess her work. "Like you belong at one of those fancy Council events."
I look at myself in the mirror and barely recognize the girl staring back.
The dress makes me look older, more polished, like I know what I'm doing instead of someone who's been stumbling through every day trying not to fall apart.
Lily pins my hair up in something that looks effortless but I know took her twenty minutes to perfect, and then hands me the mask.
It's simple. Black silk with delicate silver embroidery around the edges, nothing elaborate or attention-seeking. When I put it on, something shifts. The girl in the mirror becomes someone else, someone who can walk into a ballroom full of people who hate her and pretend she belongs there.
"Ready?" Lily asks, adjusting her own mask.
I'm not ready. I'll never be ready. But I nod anyway because refusing to attend a mandatory event would only make things worse.
The ballroom is on the third floor of the main building, in a space I didn't even know existed until tonight.
When we walk through the doors, the sheer scale of it stops me for a moment.
High ceilings with crystal chandeliers, walls lined with floor-to-ceiling windows that look out over the dark grounds, and what feels like the entire student body packed into the space in formal wear and masks that range from simple to elaborate.
Music is playing, something classical with strings that makes the whole scene feel like stepping into a different century.
Students are dancing, talking in clusters, drinking from crystal glasses that I'm fairly certain contain more than just punch.
The masks give everyone a layer of anonymity that seems to make them bolder, louder, more reckless than they'd be without them.
I can feel eyes on me the second I step into the room. Even with the mask, people know who I am. The girl with no pack. The one Nico betrayed on camera. The one the Dominion has been testing. I'm recognizable even when I'm trying to hide.
Lily squeezes my arm once and looks at me with concern. "Come with me? My friends won't mind."
I can see them across the room, a cluster of girls in pretty dresses who look like they're having fun. Normal students doing normal things. "I'll join you in a bit. Just need a minute."
"You sure? I don't want to leave you alone if you're not feeling well."
"I'm fine. Just hard to be sociable when everything hurts." I manage a smile that I hope looks convincing. "Go. I promise I'll come find you."
She hesitates, then nods and disappears into the crowd. I'm left standing at the edge of the ballroom, trying to make myself invisible, which is impossible when the heat makes me feel like I'm radiating something that draws attention whether I want it or not.
I find a spot against the wall where I can see the whole room but stay out of everyone's path. From here I can watch the dancing, the clusters of students in their formal wear, how the masks turn everyone into strangers even though I know exactly who most of them are.
That's when I see them. All four of them scattered throughout the ballroom in their own spaces, but all of them watching me.
Knox is in the far corner, black suit that makes him look even more dangerous than usual, simple black mask that doesn't hide the pale eyes or the scars.
He's not even pretending not to stare. Just standing there with his arms crossed, looking at me like I'm something he hasn't decided whether to approach or avoid.
Nico is near the refreshment table with other Dominion members, silver mask that matches his formal jacket, and when our eyes meet across the room I feel the broken bond pull tight under my ribs. He flinches slightly like he felt it too. I look away before he can try to approach.
Professor Harmon is by the windows with other faculty members, dressed in formal attire that makes him look less like a professor and more like he belongs at a Council function.
His mask is dark blue, and even from here I can see the tension in his shoulders, how he's holding himself too carefully like he's fighting not to look in my direction.
But I can feel his attention anyway, that awareness that's been building between us for a while now.
And Caspian is on the raised platform where some of the Dominion members are standing, wearing a black suit with a dark red mask that should make him unrecognizable but doesn't. He's Alpha enough that everyone knows exactly who he is mask or not, and he's staring at me with an intensity that makes my breath catch even across the crowded room.
Four males. All of them aware of me, watching me, fighting themselves about whether to approach or stay away.
I press my back against the wall and try to remember how to breathe.
The heat makes everything worse, makes my skin too sensitive and my body too aware of their attention.
I can smell the mix of perfume and cologne in the ballroom, can hear the music and the conversations and the laughter, but underneath it all I can pick out individual scents.
Cedar from somewhere across the room. Pine from the corner.
Something that might be Caspian, all Alpha and dominance and barely contained control.
I'm so focused on trying not to fall apart that I don't notice someone approaching until there's a hand on my lower back.
I turn and there he is. Caspian Jett, mask doing nothing to hide who he is, standing close enough that I can smell him properly now. Not just Alpha. Not just dominance. Something warmer underneath, something that calls to parts of me I don't want to acknowledge.
"Dance with me."
It's not a question. Not a request. Just a statement of what's about to happen.
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"I didn't ask for your opinion." His hand is still on my lower back, warm through the thin silk of the dress. "I said dance with me."
He's already leading me toward the dance floor before I can formulate a proper refusal.
His hand slides from my back to my waist as we reach the other couples.
His other hand catches mine, warm and large enough to make mine feel small.
We fall into the rhythm of the music automatically, his body leading and mine following, because apparently I know how to waltz even though I can't remember ever learning.
We don't speak at first. Just move through the dance while everyone around us pretends not to watch even though I can feel their attention like a physical weight.
Caspian holds me at a proper distance for exactly three measures before pulling me closer, close enough that it's no longer appropriate for a formal dance, close enough that I can feel the heat of him through both our clothes.
"People are watching," I say quietly.
"Let them watch."
"You're the one who's been trying to destroy me."
"I was trying to determine what you are." His voice is low enough that only I can hear it. "There's a difference."
"And what am I?"
"Mine." He says it like it surprises him as much as it surprises me.
I pull back enough to look at him properly. His jaw is tight beneath the mask, a muscle working there that wasn't there before. "I'm not anyone's."
"You're not afraid of me." It's not a question, just an observation stated like a fact.
"Should I be?"
"Yes." His hand slides lower on my back, not quite improper but close. "You should be terrified of me, Nova. I'm an Alpha who can't control himself around you, and that makes me dangerous."
My breath catches at the admission. At hearing him say out loud what we've both been avoiding. "Then let me go."
"I don't think I can." His grip tightens slightly, pulling me even closer. "Your scent. Do you have any idea what it's doing to me? What it's doing to every unmated male in this room?"
The heat makes my face flush. "I didn't ask for this."
"I know." His voice has gone rougher, his wolf closer to the surface than I've ever heard it. "Makes it worse. If you were doing this on purpose, at least I could be angry about it. But you're just existing and your body is calling to mine and I'm losing my mind trying not to answer."