CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
I woke up the next morning and reached across the bed. It was empty. I opened my eyes and found Kyrie sitting on the edge of the bed putting on his shoes.
"Where you going?"
"I got some shit to handle."
I sat up and pulled the blanket around me.
"I thought maybe we could get breakfast."
"Maybe later."
I watched him finish tying his shoe.
"So... what was last night?"
Kyrie looked over at me.
"What you mean?"
"You know what I mean."
"Talia."
"I'm just asking."
He sighed and looked over his shoulder. "I don't know what last night was."
"You don't know?"
"I got a lot of shit going on right now. I'm not trying to jump back into nothing."
"But you came here."
"I know."
"And slept with me."
"I woke up to you sucking my dick, so what did you expect."
I stared at him.
"So where does that leave us?"
"Right here. Figuring shit out."
"That's vague as hell."
"It's the truth."
I looked away.
"Is it because of Kaior?"
Kyrie didn't answer right away. That was enough of an answer for me.
"You still want her."
"I didn't say that."
"You didn't have to."
He rubbed his hands together.
"I was with Kaior for a long time. I fucked up. That shit ain't just gone disappear because we slept together."
That stung, but I couldn't really argue with it. Especially when I was part of the reason they weren't together anymore.
"So, do you regret last night?"
"Nah. I just don't know what the fuck I'm doing right now."
At least that was honest. Before I could respond, Kyrah started crying from the other room. Kyrie immediately looked toward the door.
"I got her."
He got up and walked out. I sat there for a second before throwing on my robe and following him. By the time I reached Kyrah's room, Kyrie already had her in his arms.
"What's wrong with you, pretty girl?"
Her crying stopped almost immediately. He bounced her gently against his chest.
"You missed daddy? Daddy missed you too."
He kissed her forehead. I leaned against the doorway and watched them. Whatever uncertainty Kyrie had about me disappeared whenever he was around Kyrah.
There was nothing complicated about that. He loved her.
"You hungry?"
Kyrah grabbed at his shirt.
"That's what it is?"
"Probably."
He looked at me.
"She got milk?"
"Yes."
"Diapers?"
"Yes."
"Wipes?"
"Yes, Kyrie."
"She need anything?"
I smiled.
"She's good."
"You sure?"
"I'm sure."
Kyrah reached up and grabbed his face.
"Why you grabbing on me?" He laughed and kissed her little hand.
My smile slowly faded. Watching them together made my stomach turn.
Not because I didn't like seeing it. Because I did.
That was the problem. Kyrie had been there since Kyrah was born.
He knew her cries, her routine, what she liked and what she didn't. And as far as he knew, that was his daughter. I was the one who knew different.
Kyrie lifted her slightly and made a face.
"Aw, hell nah."
I laughed. "What?"
"She stinks."
"Then change her."
He looked at me.
"You ain't changing her?"
"You the one holding her."
He shook his head. "Come on, stank."
I followed him over to the changing table. Kyrie laid Kyrah down and started changing her diaper while she kicked her legs.
"Stop moving."
She kicked harder.
"You think this shit funny?"
Kyrah smiled and I laughed. "Apparently."
"Yeah, laugh now. I'm remembering all this when you get older."
He cleaned her up, put a fresh diaper on her and snapped her onesie back together.
"There. Now you can be cute again."
I shook my head. "She was cute before."
"Not smelling like that."
He picked her up and kissed her cheek.
"Now what? You hungry?"
Kyrah immediately started whining.
"See? I know my baby."
My chest tightened hearing him say my baby.
"Her bottle is in the refrigerator."
Kyrie carried her into the kitchen while I followed behind them. He grabbed the bottle and handed it to me.
"Warm this up."
I looked at him. "You got real comfortable."
"Please."
"Oh, now you got manners."
He smiled. "Can you warm the bottle, please?"
"Much better."
I warmed it and handed it back. Kyrie sat at the table with Kyrah on his lap and started feeding her. I sat across from them. Kyrah wrapped her little hand around his finger while she drank.
Kyrie looked down at her. "Slow down. Ain't nobody taking it from you."
I watched them quietly.
"So, what are you doing after you leave here?"
"Gotta go home and start getting some shit together."
"For what?"
"I'm moving."
I frowned. "Moving where?"
"I don't know yet."
"What you mean you don't know?"
"My landlord gave me thirty days to get out."
"What? Why?"
"Some bullshit."
"So where are you gonna stay?"
"I got thirty days to figure it out."
I looked at him for a second.
"You can stay here."
His eyes lifted to mine.
"Talia—"
"I'm serious."
"I don't need you doing me no favors."
"It's not a favor."
"What is it then?"
I looked at Kyrah lying comfortably in his arms.
"You're her father."
He glanced down at her.
"You can stay here until you figure out what you're gonna do."
He was quiet.
"And before you say it, no. I'm not saying this means we're back together."
"You sure?"
"Yes."
Kyrie studied me for a few seconds.
"A’ight."
"Alright, you'll stay?"
"Yeah."
A little relief came over me before I could stop it. "When you gone start bringing your stuff?"
"Later."
"Okay."
He looked down at Kyrah again and wiped milk from the corner of her mouth.
"Guess you stuck with me for a minute."
Kyrah stared at him and the guilt I was carrying made me look away. If only he knew how fucked up that sentence really was. My phone started ringing in the bedroom. I already had a feeling who it was.
"Can you hold her?"
Kyrie looked at me. "I'm already holding her."
"You know what I mean."
I got up and walked into the bedroom. The number on the screen confirmed it was a collect call from Solo. I looked toward the doorway before answering.
"Hello?"
"You alone?"
I glanced down the hallway.
"No."
"He there?"
I hesitated.
"Yeah."
Solo went quiet for a second.
"What he doing there?"
"He stayed last night."
"Stayed?"
"Yes."
"So y'all good?"
"I wouldn't say all that."
"What the fuck that mean?"
"It means we're not back together. We're just... figuring shit out."
"Ain't shit to figure out. I told you what needed to happen."
I rolled my eyes.
"And I'm doing it."
"Sound like you doing more than that."
"Solo, don't start."
"I ain't starting shit. I'm asking a question."
"Well, don't."
He went quiet again.
"What he doing right now?"
"Feeding Kyrah."
"This nigga still think that's his baby. Lame ass." Solo chuckled.
"It ain't funny."
"Shit funny to me."
I closed my eyes. There was something about the way he said it that irritated me.
"He loves her."
"And?"
"And nothing. I'm just saying."
"Then stop getting in your feelings. That's what we need."
I lowered my voice. "He's moving in."
"What?"
"His landlord gave him thirty days to move. I told him he could stay here."
Solo laughed.
"What?"
"Nothing. That's perfect."
"It wasn't part of some fucking plan. He needs somewhere to stay."
"And you gave him somewhere. That’s even better."
I looked toward the door.
"You making this sound fucked up."
"Because you making it complicated. Keep that nigga comfortable until I get home."
"And when exactly is that supposed to be?"
"My lawyer said the appeal looking good."
"You've been saying that."
"And I'm telling you it's moving."
I sighed.
"Okay."
“What is it? You done caught feelings for this nigga or some shit?”
“No,” I lied.
"Well stick to the fucking plan and get out your head. You still got him thinking Kyrah his. Now he about to be living there. That's exactly where I need him."
"Why?"
"You know why."
"For the money."
"For us."
I laughed quietly. "Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Turn this into some family shit. You told me exactly why you need him around."
"And I'm coming home to my family."
I looked toward the hallway entry again. Kyrie was talking to Kyrah. I couldn't make out what he was saying, but I could hear him making her laugh.
"So, what happens when you come home?"
"What you mean?"
"With Kyrah."
Solo got quiet.
"What about her?"
"Kyrie thinks that's his daughter."
"That sounds like a Kyrie problem."
I frowned.
"Solo."
"What?"
"He's been raising her."
"And?"
"That's all you got to say?"
"What the fuck you want me to say, Talia? Congratulations to him?"
"Don't be an asshole."
"I'm her daddy."
"Biologically."
The silence on the other end changed. I knew immediately I'd said the wrong shit.
"What the fuck you just say?"
I closed my eyes.
"You heard me."
"Nah. Say that shit again."
"I'm not doing this with you. He’s literally in the kitchen."
"I'm Kyrah's father. Ain't no biologically about that shit."
"Then maybe you should've thought about that before you got locked up."
The words came out before I could stop them. Solo went quiet.
"Watch how you talk to me."
"I'm just saying Kyrie has been there for her. She knows him."
"And when I get home, she'll know me."
"You think it's gonna be that simple?"
"I don't give a fuck how simple it is."
"Well, I do."
"Then remember why you doing this."
I didn't respond.
"Keep him close. Keep his ass comfortable. And most importantly, don't tell him shit about Kyrah."
"I know."
"You better know. And tell that nigga to give you some money so I can make store tomorrow."
The call disconnected. I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared at it.
For the first time since Solo put this whole thing in motion, I wasn't thinking about his appeal, the money, or getting him home.
I was thinking about Kyrie sitting in my kitchen feeding a little girl he believed belonged to him.
And what was going to happen when he found out she didn't.