Prologue
Kashvi curled her bare toes against the cold edge of the top step of the staircase as she whispered into her teddy’s ear, ‘Do you think we’re being very, very stupid? Because I do.’
In the dead of the night, the massive, dark house felt absolutely scary. The chandelier above the foyer glowed with dim crystal light, casting silver streaks across the black marble floor. It was so quiet that she could almost hear her racing heart.
A loud horn had blared an hour ago in the driveway, startling her awake. Kashvi had rushed out of her room, eager to meet her mother after a long week apart, but stopped dead short when she saw her father follow after her.
She had been standing at the top of the spiral staircase with both arms locked around Mr Buttons since then, wondering if she should just wait until tomorrow.
Kashvi wished her elder sister was with her, holding her hand, but just as quickly she shook it off. If Siya had been there, she would not have let her come this far. Whenever they heard arguments from their mother’s room, Siya would stop her from checking up with one dreadful question.
What if Dad catches us snooping around?
Kashvi had never had an answer for that because the thought of being caught made her knees tremble. She didn’t want to risk his ire. The fear she saw in the staff and her mother whenever he was around told her he was not someone to be tested.
Her gaze drifted towards the safety of her bedroom, and with a heavy sigh, she decided to wait until morning, when her mother would wake her for school.
Kashvi had only taken a few steps back when a hard crack split the silence.
Then her mother cried out.
The sharp, broken sound made her tummy twist, and Kashvi quickly whipped down the stairs. When she caught a glimpse of her father slamming the door shut, she darted behind the wall beside the stairs, out of sight.
She took a slow breath, then peeked down the little corridor where only one door stood at the end, with warm light shining beneath it. Their voices rose inside, overlapping in a way that made them blur into one another, too muffled to understand.
A loud, agonising cry rang through the door, pulling Kashvi towards it as her heart clenched. She tiptoed to it and gently pressed her ear against the wood, straining to hear.
‘How could you do this to me?’ her mother shouted, raw and hurt.
‘What else did you expect me to do?’ her father snapped back. ‘How could I be with you when you spend every day moping around like a zombie?’
‘I’m not moping around. I’m busy raising our daughters, making sure they have a mother who looks after their needs, because clearly their father doesn’t bother to try!’
‘I work hard to keep a roof over our heads, so don’t you dare disrespect me,’ her father replied, and even though the sound was muffled, the steel in his voice made her shiver.
Her mother gave a bitter, mocking laugh. ‘You work hard for what, exactly? Everything we have comes from my father, and I can handle my family business better than you do, but you won’t let me.’
Kashvi frowned at the strange accusation. Every time she’d asked her mother if she missed working, she told her she loved staying home with them. Didn’t she?
‘My wife isn’t going to work! Your place is here at home, taking care of our family.’
An uncomfortable knot formed in her stomach at her father’s words.
‘And where is your place? In the arms of that girl from the office that you’ve been cheating on me with?’ her mother demanded.
Her brows furrowed deeper as she tried to fit the word onto her father. During homework time, Siya would tap her pencil on her forehead if Kashvi tried to peek at her answers, and she would get the same warning. Only bad kids cheat.
So why did Maa say that about Papa? Did he cheat in a test?
Though she couldn’t understand why, she heard the pain in her mother’s voice as she asked, ‘Cat got your tongue, Karthik? Or are you finally tired of acting like a family man?’
The sudden silence felt jarring and she pinched her brows in concentration until the sound of a slap split through it. Kashvi flinched hard, digging her fingers into the plush toy as her heartbeat sped up.
Her hand flew up to her mouth, pressing it hard against her lips to muffle her shriek. Kashvi wanted to push open the door, run to her mother and hold her the way she did when she fell and scraped her knee. But her feet didn’t move.
She crouched on the floor, tears slipped down her cheeks as she listened to her mother cry on the other side of the door.
‘Not this time. Do you hear me, Karthik? Not this time,’ her mother said with a brittle edge of pain. ‘You can shout, you can threaten, you can make me bleed, but you don’t get to control me anymore. This is where it ends.’
‘What does that mean?’ he demanded impatiently.
‘For years, you’ve taken everything from my family and me. You’ve crossed every limit of what I could forgive, and crushed every last bit of love I kept holding onto. All because I hoped you’d change, but I see now that you’ll never.’
‘Yeah? And what will you do about it?’
A shiver ran up her legs as the chill in his voice crept into her bones. Kashvi clutched the teddy so hard that the plastic eyes dug against her throat.
‘I’m taking my girls, and I’m leaving you,’ her mother declared firmly. ‘You can stay with your mistress and son, since they seem to matter more to you anyway.’
Wow, I have a brother?
Kashvi felt a fleeting sense of joy, but confusion pricked at her mind at the sadness in her mother’s voice.
‘You’ve completely lost your mind, Arohi! Maybe I should call someone and have you checked out because you need help.’
‘You can call whoever you want, but the only person I’ll be reaching out to is a divorce lawyer.’
A sudden thud broke through, followed by another. Kashvi jerked back, covering her ears because she couldn’t bear it.
‘I own you. Do you understand that? You don’t get to walk away from me. I will never let you go,’ her father warned in a cold, flat voice.
‘I’m not afraid of you anymore. I will not let my girls grow up around a monster like you,’ her mother said with a wheezing cough.
Her father’s reply sent a wave of nausea rolling through her small body. ‘If you even try to walk out of this house, you’ll find out exactly what kind of monster I can be, Arohi.’
Just then, Kashvi caught the sound of footsteps coming towards the door, towards her, and her blood ran cold. Panic surged through her and she whirled around so fast that she stumbled as she ran. Her teddy fell onto the floor but she heard the lock turn and didn’t dare to look back.
She took two steps at a time, her legs shaking with the effort, and pushed open her bedroom door. Hurriedly, Kashvi climbed onto the bed and dragged the blanket over herself.
She itched to call her sister, because Siya always knew what to say, what to do.
Her gaze remained fixated on the half-open door and no matter how much she tried to control it, her breath came out in sharp, uneven bursts.
When the silence lingered, she let out a shaky breath of relief. It turned into a strangled choke when the door creaked open all the way and she saw her father.
Karthik stood in the doorway, his tall frame blocking out the light behind him. His long hair and shabby beard made him look like the boogeyman of her nightmares.
He silently walked towards her and held out Mr Buttons for her.
His cold gaze pressed in on her and tears rushed to her eyes as she stammered out, ‘I’m sorry, Papa. I didn’t mean to… I just, I had a bad dream and I got scared and I wanted Maa.’
He let out a long, impatient breath. ‘You know the rule is to be in bed and never wander around the home after eight, don’t you?’
‘I’m really sorry, I won’t do it again, Papa. I promise. Please don’t be angry,’ Kashvi pleaded, desperate and breathless.
‘Fine. Just stop crying,’ he told her. The bed dipped slightly under his weight as he sat down next to her.
‘I’m sorry,’ she repeated, clumsily wiping away her tears.
She waited for him to raise his voice, to scold her the way he always did when she broke a rule, but he didn’t. He just sat there, looking tired.
‘Are you okay, Papa?’ she asked softly, afraid that the question itself might upset him.
He turned to look at her and instead asked, ‘What did you hear downstairs?’
His dark eyes made her stomach drop.
She spoke too fast, too high. ‘Nothing, I didn’t hear anything.’
‘Don’t lie to me, Kashvi!’ he shouted loud enough to make her jerk.
She blurted out, ‘I heard you fighting with Maa.’
Karthik closed his eyes and sighed. ‘I wish you hadn’t.’
Why wasn’t he shouting?
The question sat quietly in her mind, making her uneasy.
He looked so different from the man she’d heard a few minutes ago. Kashvi sat up, hesitantly reaching out to touch his shoulder. ‘Papa, what’s wrong? I’m here.’
‘You’re such a sweet girl, always trying to make things better. You deserve a better father than me,’ he murmured.
Kashvi insistently shook her head as she tried to fix whatever was making him sad. ‘You’re the best. You say good night to me, you bring me chocolates, and you tell funny stories. You’re the best daddy ever.’
Karthik gave her hand a light tap. ‘I’m going to miss you. Spending time with you made my day and I can’t believe I’m never getting it again.’
A spike of fear pierced through her heart. ‘Are you going somewhere, Papa?’
‘Yes.’
After a beat of silence, she asked, ‘When will you come back home?’
‘It doesn’t matter. You won’t be here when I get back,’ Karthik said.
‘Why not?’ she asked, sitting up straight in bed.
‘Because your mother has decided to take you and Siya both away from me.’
‘No! Why would she do that?’ she asked, her voice rising as panic crept in.
‘Because she wants to punish me,’ he said quietly.
‘But it sounded like… like you were punishing Maa,’ she said, bracing herself for his cutting, scolding tone she knew so well, but it didn’t come.
‘Kashvi, you’re only six, and too young to understand how it works between adults. Besides, don’t you know how much I love her?’