Prologue #2
‘I…’ she stammered, uncertainty settling in her chest as she tried to piece together what she had heard.
‘Tell me, did you see me punishing her?’ he asked, studying her intently.
She shook her head, her unruly hair brushing against her cheeks.
‘Then maybe you shouldn’t believe everything you hear,’ Karthik said, looking away. ‘You know, it breaks my heart that you could think of me this way.’
Guilt pricked at her skin, and she began to think maybe she had heard wrong.
‘Though it’s a good thing you didn’t see anything. I don’t want you to see your mother like that when she’s angry.’
‘But Maa only gets mad at us when we do something wrong. Did you…?’ she trailed off, scared that she’d said too much.
‘Yes, I made a mistake,’ he said. His easy admission caught her off guard, but fragile relief rushed through her. She knew how to fix this.
‘Di says everyone makes mistakes, and Maa says if you say sorry honestly, fix it and don’t do it again, everything will be alright. If you do the same, she won’t be mad at you anymore, and we’ll be okay again.’
‘I think it might be too late for that,’ he told her with a sad smile. ‘Your mother doesn’t want to fix things. She wants to punish me, hurt me, and the way she’s doing that is by breaking our family apart.’
No!
Karthik ran a gentle hand over her head as he said in a remorseful tone, ‘If you all leave me alone… it might just kill me.’
It felt like her heart was splintering into pieces as his words imploded deep in her chest. Kashvi leaned forward, wrapping her small arms around his neck. ‘No! I won’t let that happen. Please tell me what I can do. I’ll help you make it better.’
Karthik gave a light pat on her arm. ‘What could you do, Kashvi?’
She pulled back, her mind scrambling to think of options. ‘When Di comes back tomorrow, we’ll both talk to Maa and tell her to forgive you. She listens to us.’
He firmly shook his head. ‘No, you can’t tell your sister about what you heard tonight.’
The words made her blink, unease slithering through her veins. ‘Why? I always tell Di everything.’
‘Not this. She wouldn’t understand. She never does. Promise me you won’t tell her.’
The discomfort grew inside her and Kashvi hesitated to do so.
He smoothened her hair in soft strokes as he continued, ‘You love me, but your sister… she always chooses your mother over me.’
Her brows drew together as she said, ‘That’s not true. She just… she gets scared because you shout at her a lot.’
His eyes darkened with anger as he snapped, ‘I should because she runs her mouth constantly and disrespects me. What do you expect me to do?’
Kashvi shrank back, pulling her hand away from his arm, because she knew that Siya only raised her voice because of the mean way he treated their mother.
He noticed and took her hand between his, squeezing it gently.
‘Siya only loves your mother, not me. And because of Arohi, she’s turned into a spoiled brat. If she finds out about our fight tonight, she will make things worse with her tantrums. So, you won’t tell her about any of this, right?’
Kashvi looked away, scared and unsure.
‘You know, your mother and Siya keep secrets from you all the time.’
Her head snapped up. ‘They do?’
Karthik nodded, coaxing her gently. ‘They think you’re too young to understand, but I don’t. I think you can handle anything. Since they do it, I don’t see a reason why we can’t keep secrets of our own. Aren’t you my best girl? We stick together too, don’t we?’
‘Okay, Papa. I won’t tell,’ she agreed with a heavy heart.
He ruffled her hair affectionately. ‘I knew I could trust you. You care so much about me. That is why you’re my favourite daughter.’
The words seemed to echo in her head. The praise settled into her, filling her with warmth that made her sit a little straighter.
Kashvi let herself imagine a version of him that would always be this gentle with her, looking at her with pride and approval instead of anger.
Every nerve in her body felt charged with determination to make that real somehow.
‘Do you really think I can fix this?’ he asked her.
‘Yes,’ she said earnestly. ‘You just have to try, and it always gets okay after that.’
He studied her face, weighing her words. ‘And you’ll help me do that?’
Kashvi nodded eagerly.
Her answer pleased him and a smile spread across his face. ‘In that case, I can trust you with a very special homework.’
Her heart gave a startled jump as a sense of purpose rushed through her. ‘I’ll be good, and I won’t disappoint you again. I promise.’
Karthik held her gaze as he instructed, ‘Until I come back from my trip, you won’t let your mother take you and leave from here.’
‘How?’ Kashvi asked, uncertainly.
‘You’ll figure it out. My daughter is smart.’
‘Where are you going?’
‘You always have to know everything, don’t you?’ he scolded her lightly. ‘You don’t have to worry about me, just focus on how you will keep your mother home. Remember, if she takes you to your Nanu’s farmhouse in Nashik, he will keep you girls away.’
Kashvi said quickly, ‘No. Maa won’t let him do that.’
‘Arohi loves her father, and if he tells her to stay away from me, she’ll listen to him. And then you’ll never see me again. Ever. Is that what you want?’ he asked softly.
Her eyes burned, filling too quickly as she gripped his hand tightly, scared that he might vanish into thin air. ‘No, Papa, please.’
‘Then you have to be brave, just like your mother is, and obey me, okay?’ he asked. When she nodded, he continued, ‘It’s actually very simple. Just tell her you have homework, or you’re sick. She won’t leave if she’s worried about you.’
Kashvi swallowed, reminding herself to be brave, just like he said. ‘I’ll do it.’
‘Good girl,’ he said, his voice warm with approval. He brushed back the hair from her forehead and said, ‘It’s late now. Get some rest.’
Karthik stood and pulled the blanket over her as she settled back onto the bed.
Kashvi curled onto her side, clutching her teddy bear tight, her eyes still slightly wet. ‘I love you, Papa.’
‘Go to sleep,’ he said instead, turning away already.
His footsteps were soft against the floor as he walked out, shutting the door behind him.
Her eyes stayed fixed on the door, watching the empty space where he had been, longing to hear those words back from him at least once.
She shifted onto her back, looking up at the glowing stars on her ceiling. She would be brave, keep them all together, and follow his instructions. Maybe then it would earn her those words. Maybe then he would finally love her.
Kashvi closed her eyes, but sleep wouldn’t come because the echoes of her mother’s cries refused to fade from her memory.