Track 1 This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
ETHAN
Present Day
Istill hate Rachel Dawson …
I looked over the most recent letter she’d sent me from her “Semester at Sea” program, and I still couldn’t bring myself to write her back. It’d been three months since our last exchange, and my blood was boiling, like I was reading her words for the first time.
Dear Ethan,
I’m pretty sure your girlfriend is cheating on you.
Like, all the SIGNS are there, and they were there eight letters ago. As a person who honestly loves seeing you miserable, I can’t say that this makes me happy. (Only because I don’t like cheaters. If you were upset about anything else, I’d be laughing my ass off right now.)
Maybe she’s just not impressed with all those accolades you LOVE to throw in my face all the time:
The fact that you were Mr. Popular in high school for three years in a row (I still believe you stuffed the ballot box, and it was high school. Time to let that shit go.)
The fact you drive a classic blue convertible (What the hell does that have to do with anything? Like, ever?)
And the fact that you’re supposedly “running shit on SBU’s campus.” (I’ve been on this ship for three years, and none of the students who do single semesters have any idea who you are when I ask. No. One.)
Thank you for the unwanted advice about MY boyfriend, but seeing as though I know what it takes to make a relationship work, I don’t need it.
Forget You,
Rachel
P.S.—Maybe you’re not as good at sex as you thought you were? (That’s probably it. I can send you some ‘How to’ books on that topic, if you like. Let me know!)
I reread her letter one last time, putting it away in my glovebox. Then I looked up at my girlfriend’s windows for the second hour in a row, watching her grind against one of my closest friends.
I was supposed to be surprising her with a “four-month anniversary” gift right now, since she’d thrown not-so-subtle hints all week, but after watching her get pounded by someone else, I knew I was returning everything to the store the second I broke up with her. Today.
I can’t believe Rachel was right about this shit.
Not wanting to wait for them to finish, I stepped out of my car and walked to her front door. I used the key she gave me months ago, the one labeled “Ethan and Lisa forever,” and walked into the living room.
“Ohhhh god!” She moaned. “Oh god, yes!”
“Yeah?” My friend, Brody, slapped her ass. “Is this what you like?”
“Yeah, she loves that position,” I said, and he immediately stilled. His eyes went wide, and all the color left Lisa’s face.
He pulled out of her, quickly moving away. Then he stared at me in shock for several seconds before picking up his jeans and rushing to the bathroom.
Lisa stood in front of me, stark naked and red. Keeping her eyes on mine, she walked over to the couch.
She bit her lip, looking as if she was searching for the right thing to say.
“Hi, Ethan,” she said, finally. “I know this looks really bad, but I can explain.”
I said nothing, and she picked up her clothes.
“Can you stop looking at me like that first, though?” She pulled her bra over her head. “Like, please?”
I didn’t move. I watched as she struggled to put on the rest of her clothes. Blue jeans. Faded shirt. My high school varsity hoodie.
“It’s like you’re a zombie or something right now,” she said. “You haven’t said a word to me since you came in. At least let me know what you’re thinking, so I can know where to start.”
Brody stepped out of the bathroom and looked between us, grabbing his jacket and walking over to me. “We’ll still be cool after this, right?” He held out his hand for a handshake, and it took everything in me not to knock him to the ground and beat his ass.
“So, we’re not cool?” he asked. “I mean, don’t tell me you’re willing to flush years of our friendship down the drain over something like this.”
“Depends,” I said finally. “By ‘something like this’ do you mean the fact that I sat in the driveway and watched you fuck my girlfriend for almost two hours?”
He paled, and Lisa adjusted her shirt for the umpteenth time.
“I know this looks foul,” he said, lowering his voice. “But bros before hos, man. She was the one who called me over here. I said no, but she was insistent, and then she said—”
“Get the hell out of my face.” I glared at him. “Now.”
He looked as if he wanted to say more, but he didn’t. He looked over his shoulder at Lisa for a few seconds before leaving the two of us alone. The second the door slammed shut, Lisa paced the floor.
“I’m sorry about this, Babe,” she said, giving me her worst poker face. “It was a stupid thing to do, and if I could take it back, I would.”
“Which part?” I tapped my fingers against the counter. “There’s more than one thing wrong with this situation.”
“Oh, come on, Ethan!” she said, stepping closer. “This was a huge mistake, and if I had known that you were coming back into town today—”
“You would’ve done it yesterday?”
“No.” She sighed. “I am sorry, okay? I don’t know how else you want me to put this. I got lonely and wanted sex, and since you haven’t been in town for a while, I guess I just got carried away.”
“I was gone for two days. Two. Days.”
“Well, since what we have is real, I’m sure that we can get past this. I still have feelings for you, and I know you still have feelings for me.” Her mouth was moving a mile a minute, and I couldn’t help but tune out her voice and stare at her.
Red-haired and green-eyed, Lisa was hands down one of the most attractive girls on this campus, and she knew it.
She couldn’t help but flirt with any guy in her radius, and although I’d long accepted that as one of her worst flaws, sleeping with my close friend (well, ex-friend) was the ultimate deal breaker.
I mentally rewound the past few months of our threadbare relationship—skipping through all the new tears and tatters, all her fake promises and lies.
“Oh, me and Brody are going to go study together.” “No, don’t worry, Brody can take me home.” “Oh, Babe. That’s what your friend Brody is for.”
“I think we can get through this with a little bit of communication.” She was still talking. “This doesn’t have to be the end of us.”
“It is the end of us.” I pulled her apartment key off my keychain and set it down. There were a few things of mine in her room, but I was honestly willing to do without them, if it meant I didn’t have to listen to her anymore.
I looked her over one last time, wanting to say some final words for closure since “Fuck you” was too good for her, but I was done. I turned around and walked out, heading down her apartment’s steps.
“That’s it?” She followed me, yelling. “You’re not going to give me a chance to explain?”
I slid my shades over my eyes and continued walking.
“I’m not the only person who has ever made a mistake in this relationship, Ethan!” She walked faster, stopping in front of my vintage blue convertible. “I’ve seen the way you look at other girls sometimes, and I don’t say a word.”
I slipped behind the wheel and cranked the engine.
“Oh, and let’s not forget the fact that you didn’t write me a birthday card this year.”
“Are you shitting me right now?” I glared at her. “Are you honestly trying to compare me not writing you a birthday card, to you fucking someone else behind my back?”
“No, but—” She sighed. “You did neglect me sometimes.”
I looked at the clock on my dashboard. I was giving this conversation two minutes, and then I was reversing like hell out of her driveway and never coming back again.
“I know you work and all, but somehow you always found the time to hang out with your friend Emily all the time.”
“Emily was my study partner, and I always invited you to come along with us.”
“Well …” She tapped her lip, searching for more excuses, more ways to hold on to something that was long gone. “You never kissed me in public to show people we were together. And you always found the time to write a certain someone a letter every week, and you never wrote one for me.”
“Bullshit, Lisa.” I rolled my eyes. “If the certain someone you’re attempting to talk about is my old neighbor Rachel Dawson—who I’ve told you time and time again that I honestly can’t standI haven’t written her back in three months. You and I have only been dating for four.”
“Ethan, I am sorry. Is there anything I can do to rebuild your trust?”
“Yes, you can step back onto the grass.”
“Okay …” She stepped onto the grass and smiled. “Is that it?”
I slammed my car in reverse without answering her, beating my fist against the steering wheel as I made it onto the backroad.
I’d suspected something was off with her months ago, and I knew that this wasn’t her first time cheating on me.
I also knew that I was going to have to drink her away tonight and make sure that she was a distant memory as soon as possible.
Approaching a red light, I pulled out my phone, and double checked the address for my new apartment.
Since this year was my first year living off campus, I was looking forward to not having to deal with drunk first-year students, endless dorm parties, and well, trouble.
I had two strikes with the campus police after hosting several wild night parties in the past, and I knew they weren’t going to be so lenient with my next strike.
I opened my glove compartment to find the house’s entry pass number, and a slew of purple envelopes and letters fell onto the floor.
Ugh, Rachel.
I picked them up and locked them away again.
Turning into my new subdivision, I sped past all the white houses—looking for the only one in blue. I slammed the brakes once I saw the heap of burnt wood and metal in the place where my house was supposed to be.
I must be on the wrong street …
Refusing to believe that this was a reality, I blinked a few times. Then I circled the block, but when I returned, 3376 Sun Swept Lane was still the same.
Burned down to the ground.
What the hell?
I turned off the engine and stepped out of the car.