Chapter 2
Tip two; enthusiasm beats technique. Every damn time.
Asher
I wasn't trying to listen.
That's the thing I tell myself while I stand in the hallway outside the kitchen, keys still in my hand, jacket half on, frozen like a fucking idiot.
I'd come by to grab Leon. Party on the north side of campus. A team thing. Loud. Annoying. Mandatory. As team captain I don't really have a choice in attending these things and I drag Leon with me every time I can - not that he complains.
I didn't expect to hear anything except maybe music or my sister laughing about something stupid.
Instead, I hear Ivy's voice and the shakiness in it has me pausing.
"It was embarrassing, Charlie."
My spine locks.
I don't move. Don't breathe. The words root me to the spot like if I step forward, I'll break something I can't fix.
"There's other guys out there, Ivy," My sister says, her voice low but loud enough I catch the words. "They're not all selfish dickheads."
That's fucking debatable.
Ivy laughs, but it's wrong. Brittle. "That's not the point. I don't want to do it anymore."
My jaw locks and I shift my weight without meaning to, my shoulders pulling tight. The action has the wooden floorboard beneath me creaking and I pause, glaring down at the floor as it tries to give away the fact that I'm spying on my little sister and her best friend.
God, I'm pathetic.
Then Ivy's words catch up with me. Don't want to do it anymore. And the way she said it, like whatever it was, was something vulnerable.
I don't know what it is, but something sharp curls in my gut. Protective. Immediate. I already hate whoever made her say that. I shove that feeling far down. I don't have the right to feel protective over Ivy or feel anything at all. She's Leon's sister for god’s sake.
"What's the point?" Ivy goes on and I find myself holding my breath, causing myself for it yet unable to stop myself from eavesdropping. "It wasn't even that good. The books make it out to be so good and then it was just... meh."
I tilt my head, confusion clouding my mind. What the hell are they talking about? I should walk away, wait for Leon out the front because he sure as shit isn't inside like he said he would be. Yeah, no, I definitely should leave before Charlotte finds me and rips me a new one for spying.
"He was no Cassian or Rowan," Ivy adds. "Or Gryphon Shore."
"They're book characters." Charlie says.
A huffed breath escapes me before I can stop it and I shake my head. Of course. Fictional men who yearn, kneel and burn and have better manners than anyone on campus. Figures. If Ivy ever looked at me the way she speaks about books...
I bury that thought too.
"I just wish there was a guide out there that could teach you what to do, like step-by-step instructions."
Instructions? Instructions for what?
"He called me a lousy lay." It's not even the words that have my hand gripping harder to my keys but the way her voice shakes as she says them. The insecurity tingeing each syllable.
"Dick." Charlotte mutters. My jaw aches from how much I'm clenching it.
Fucking say their name, Ivy.
Everything inside me goes cold and for a moment, a long moment I stop listening.
I want him on the ice.
I want to see him folded into the boards, breath knocked out of him, questioning every decision that led him there.
"I don't want to be insecure about sex," Ivy says.
Sex.
The word shouldn't shock me. It does.
Hearing it in her mouth hits different than it should.
"I want to know what I'm doing."
My grip tightens around the keys. The metal digging into the soft flesh of my palm.
She had sex.
And it wasn't good.
And someone thought they had the right to make her feel small about it. It takes two to tango, asshole.
I hear a car door slam and I shift a little, looking through the window to see Leon's car pull in.
I narrow my eyes on it. "Fucking stay," I mutter.
I can see him through the window, talking on his phone and I breathe a sigh.
He won't be in for a few minutes at least. My phone buzzes with a text and I swear softly as I pull it out, replying to the team group chat about tonight, rolling my eyes at the influx of memes one of the guys sends through.
"I might have an idea." Charlotte voice is soft, thoughtful and I step slightly closer to listen clearer, forgetting about Leon for a second, my phone and the fact I should walk away now, before I hear something I don't want to hear.
"What if you find someone who can help you?"
"I'm not following."
"Like a friends with benefits situation, and the benefits would be that he show you the ropes and tell you how to do things."
I squeeze my eyes shut.
Fuck.
"Who better to tell you how to please a guy than a guy?"
It takes great enough to relax my jaw. My back meets the wall as my brain runs through the load of information, head hitting the plaster with a soft thud.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Justin's name comes up and I nearly laugh. Not because it's funny - because it's absurd. That guy couldn't handle this with the seriousness it deserves if his life depended on it. He's not right for this.
I'm already shaking my head when Ivy does it for me.
Good girl.
Smart girl.
And the idea of someone careless being the one she learns from - someone who'd rush it, joke about it, tell people - makes my stomach knot for reasons I don't unpack.
Because I don't have the right to feel that way.
Then Charlottes leaving and I'm still here, waiting.
The front door opens again.
My cue.
I push off the wall and step back into the hallway before either of them can catch me lurking like a creep.
Leon rounds the corner, tucking his phone into his pocket. Whistling low under his breath.
"You ready?" he asks.
"Yeah."
My voice sounds normal.
Controlled.
I walk past the kitchen doorway.
I don't look in.
I don't.
But I feel her there.
And it does something ugly and territorial inside my chest.
Leon claps my shoulder as we head out the door.
"You good?"
"Fine."
The word tastes like a lie.
Because I'm not fine.
I'm thinking about her wanting someone to teach her.
And I know exactly who I don't want that someone to be.
I stare ahead as we walk to the car.
Not my place.
Not my girl.
I repeat it.
It doesn't stick.
· · ·
I knew she'd be here.
Knew it when I woke up earlier this morning. When I offered to drive Charlotte to the rink. She looked at me like I was crazy but she's never one to give up a free ride.
I told myself it was about getting extra ice time.
It wasn't.
So, Charlotte and I drove in together. Early. Too early for the team - or anyone really.
Charlotte hates skating when people are watching. She says she doesn't care. But she does. She'll never admit it out loud.
I push the door open, eyes already scanning and then I see her.
Ivy.
She's oblivious to the fact Charlotte and I just walked in, skating leisurely around the ice.
My sister turns toward the locker room, already complaining about the cold biting through her leggings, calling over her shoulder. "Don't hover."
"I'm not hovering."
She scoffs at my retort and I roll my eyes, waving her away.
My gaze moves back to Ivy as she executes a perfect twist.
She doesn't know I'm watching.
She's not pushing herself. Not showing off. Just skating, like she has all the time in the world. Like she belongs out there on the ice.
Something in me tightens.
She stopped skating when she was sixteen, after her mother passed away. After Leon and Ivy's father walked away from them.
They couldn't afford it anymore, so she just - stopped.
While Leon continued.
She goes into a soft spin, hair slipping loose from her ponytail, and I think about that idiot making her feel small.
I wasn't going to say anything.
That wasn't the plan.
But I step forward before I can stop myself.
She doesn't see me at first.
I rest my forearms on the boards.
Watch her finish a loop.
When she finally looks up and sees me, she jolts slightly. Wide hazel eyes on mine. "You scared me."
I shrug, pushing off the half wall and entering the rink, walking out onto the ice. "Didn't mean to."
She glides closer, slowing a few feet away.
"What are you doing here? Practice isn't for another hour." Her eyes move over my shoulder to the large clock I know is on the wall.
"I drove Charlie, wanted to get in some solo practice."
Her eyes narrow in confusion. In the year and a half, the two of them had been doing this - I'd never come with my sister before.
There's a second of silence.
Then my mouth opens.
"I overheard you and Charlotte yesterday."
Her shoulders lock.
She looks down at the ice.
"Oh."
Embarrassed. She won't meet my eyes.
"I wasn't trying to," I add. Not entirely true. "But you weren't exactly quiet."
Her jaw tightens.
I can almost see her replaying every word. She rocks back slightly, glancing away. Her face falls, cheeks deepening.
That does something ugly to my chest.
She swallows. "How much did you hear?"
I step closer, "You want someone to teach you how to please a guy." She cringes, eyes snapping to mine.
I can't help but grin as the flush of embarrassment turns to a shade of pink I've only ever seen on her.
"Don't say it like that, saying it like that makes it sound so, icky."
"Well, that's what you want, I heard the conversation. You want someone to give you tips."
"How much did you hear exactly?"
"Enough."
She huffs.
My grin widens and I tilt my head. "You were going to ask Justin to teach you-"
Her head snaps up. "I wasn't going to-" the words start so quickly, "I wasn't going to ask Justin." She finishes softly.
"Who were you going to ask then?"
"I hadn't decided." She mutters, avoiding my eyes.
"No prospects on which guy on this campus could teach you how to suck-"
Those hazel eyes land on mine, her hands coming out to wave at the air, cutting off my words.
I chuckle.
She glares back and then I see that spark of fire light up in her iris. "What if I want to learn how to please myself? Or how to tell a guy what I want? Why does it have to be about the guys pleasure?"
Something in my chest shifts.
The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them.
"Okay, well you've convinced me, I'll take the job."
Fuck.
Can't take it back now.
She blinks back at me. "What?"
What am I doing?
"When do you want to start?"
"Pardon?"
"You wanted a player, last I checked that's what I've been branded at school." I shrug, "and I don't exactly trust any of the other guys with you."
I tense and straighten, crossing my arms. "So, when do you want to start?"
"I didn't ask you." She mutters.
I know.
"I'm offering, Ivy."
"What if I don't want you to?"
"Why wouldn't you?"
"You're my brothers best friend, my best friend brother, it would practically be a sin."
I almost drop it, tell her to forget it because everything she's saying is true, but- "It's the perfect option, we know we can't fall for each other so it would be easy, no lines would be crossed."
"What would you get out of it?"
"Free tutoring, I've got grades that need to be perfect or I'll lose hockey. Three months, just until the finals, that's all it'll be."
"You're Charlie's brother."
"And?"
"And that's complicated."
"Only if we make it complicated."
Her breathing shifts.
I step closer.
"No lines crossed. Three months. You tutor me. I teach you."
She doesn't answer.
Her eyes are searching mine like she's trying to find the trap.
There isn't one.
Skates scrape onto the ice behind me.
Charlotte.
Of course.
My jaw tightens.
Not now.
I don't look at my sister.
I keep my eyes on Ivy.
Because I need her answer.
Charlotte skates up beside me and now we're both looking at Ivy.
"Ready?" Charlotte moves towards Ivy. "We have about an hour before the other buffoons show up and ruin our peace." My sister sends me a look over her shoulder. One that holds no heat.
But my gaze is still on Ivy.
And hers stays locked on mine.
"Yeah. Okay." Ivy breathes out softly, like it took her too much effort to get the words out.
It's not for Charlotte.
It's for me.
Heat moves through my chest.
I don't smile wide.
Just enough.
A small, knowing smirk.
She looks away immediately.
Charlotte frowns. "Okay what?"
"Nothing. Let's start." Ivy says quickly.
Charlotte shrugs and pushes off.
Then her eyes cut to me.
"Why are you on our ice? You don't have it for another hour."
"I told you, need to practice my shots."
She rolls her eyes. "Of course you are. Go. Over there." She waves a hand to the far end. "Stick to your side."
I turn on my heel, stalking towards the locker to get changed myself, feeling Ivy's eyes on my back like a burning caress.
And that does more to me than it should.