Chapter 32
Tip thirty-two; only do what you're comfortable with.
Ivy
Leon is halfway through recounting the third period when I tune back in.
"-and I'm telling you, they were watching. Like actually watching," he says, shoving a forkful of eggs into his mouth before pointing the utensil at Justin. "You saw them."
Justin leans back in his chair, coffee in hand. "I saw two guys in suits."
"Scouts," Leon corrects immediately. "Don't downplay it."
Justin hums noncommittally.
I sit at the table with a piece of toast in front of me, untouched.
"They spoke to Coach after," Leon continues, excitement lighting up his face. "You don't talk to Coach after a game unless you're interested."
"They talk to Coach all the time," Justin replies evenly.
"Not like that."
I stare at the smear of jam on my plate.
Leon grins suddenly, looking to me. "And sorry about the party running late last night. Didn't realise half the campus would show."
I raise a brow at him. Since when has half the campus not shown? "It's fine,"
He nods once, satisfied.
"Asher didn't even turn up," Leon adds, almost as an afterthought. "Which is weird. He's usually always there after a win."
Justin makes that same quiet hum again.
I feel it then.
His eyes.
On me.
I don't look up at first.
I can feel the weight of it though - the way he pieces things together without saying them out loud.
Leon keeps talking.
"Coach was in a good mood though. That's a first. Especially cause we fucked up the play."
Justin doesn't respond this time.
I force myself to glance up.
He's already looking at me.
One eyebrow lifts.
Not accusing.
Just knowing.
My stomach tightens.
Asher didn't go.
Of course he didn't. He was with me. At the arena, in the locker room. Then later when I snuck him into my room through the same window he'd snuck through all those weeks ago.
Nobody even noticed when he snuck back out this morning.
I drop my gaze back to my plate.
Push the toast once. Twice.
Charlotte's face flashes in my mind, a perfect reflection of the betrayal painted on her features last night.
The chair legs scrape loudly against the floor before I even realise I'm standing.
Both of them look at me.
Justin's eyes widen slightly. I almost want to laugh at the comical look.
Leon blinks. "You good?"
"I'm going out."
"Where?" Leon asks, casual.
There's a split second where I consider lying.
But I don't know why I have to.
"To Charlotte's."
Justin's expression shifts - subtle, but there and he narrows his eyes. He think I'm lying. He think I'm going to see Asher. But this time? No, I need my best-friend.
Leon just nods.
Like it's normal.
And it is. Or at least it was - before this whole mess started.
"Tell her I said hi," he says easily.
I nod once.
I grab my keys from the counter.
My heart is beating too fast for something that should be simple.
She's my best friend.
This shouldn't feel like walking into a storm.
But it does.
I don't let myself hesitate.
If I sit back down, I won't go.
And I'm not letting silence grow roots between us.
I walk to the door and open it before I can talk myself out of it.
And then I stop.
Charlotte stands on the other side, fist raised to knock.
We stare at each other.
For a second neither of us moves.
Her eyes flick over my face. Mine do the same.
"I-" she starts.
"Do you-" I say at the same time.
We both cut ourselves off.
A beat.
Her mouth twitches but it fall quickly. "Well. That was efficient."
Relief hits so fast it almost makes me dizzy.
"I was coming to talk to you," I say quickly.
"I needed to see you," she replies. "Speak to you."
From the kitchen, Leon's voice carries. "Ivy? You forget something?"
Charlotte's eyes shift past me. She takes a small step back.
"I'm fine." I yell back, then open the door wider for her. "Let's go upstairs."
She steps in, walking straight for the stairs and bypassing the kitchen altogether.
I follow quickly behind, waving both Leon and Justin away when they poke their heads out to see what's happening.
I shut my bedroom door and then turn to her.
And suddenly it's too quiet.
Charlotte stands a few feet away from me like we're strangers who've accidentally walked into the same room.
We've never done this before.
Fought.
Stood on opposite sides of something.
I don't know where to put my hands.
"I'm sorry for lying to you. For not telling you the truth." I rush out, scared I might not get the chance to say it. "I'm sorry."
"I know," Charlotte twists her hands in her lap. "I'm sorry too."
A laugh almost escapes me. "Why are you sorry, I'm the only one that needs to apologise."
"No, you aren't. I should've spoken to you instead of waiting. And I should've spoken to you yesterday instead of reacting like I did. There's a lot I've been keeping from you."
"Seems we're both in the same boat hey?" I say quietly. "I should've told you, I didn't mean for you to find out like that. I just- I didn't know how to say it without it feeling like I was choosing him over you."
"You don't have to choose." She says quietly, sitting on the end of my bed.
I move towards, taking a seat beside her.
"I hate that it's been weird," she says finally. "Between us."
"Me too."
"I didn't know what to say. Even when I needed you, I still didn't know how to ask you to be."
There's working in her voice that has me turning to face her fully.
"You know you can tell me anything?" I urge her. "Anything, Charlie. I'm not going to think less of you, no matter what."
She doesn't reply.
"I know somethings been on your mind. That something is wrong. I just don't know what it is."
Her eyes shine slightly, but she doesn't let anything fall.
"I think I just... shut down," she admits. "And that wasn't fair."
"You're allowed to shut down," I say softly.
"Not with you."
That breaks something in my chest.
"I don't want us to be careful with each other," she continues. "We've never had to be."
My throat tightens. "I don't want that either."
We sit there for a second longer.
Then she looks at me properly.
"Are we okay?" she asks.
It's the most vulnerable I've ever heard her sound.
I move closer without thinking.
"We will be," I say. "We just need to be honest with each other from now on."
She tenses slightly, before taking a deep breath. "I slept with Leon."
For a second I don't know what to say.
"What?" I say quietly, unsure I heard her right. "Did you just say, Leon? My brother?"
"You've been sleeping with my brother." Her voice isn't accusatory. Just factual.
"We haven't actually . . . gone all the way, yet."
"What the hell have you been doing?"
I turn to stare at her, but she cringes, "Don't answer that."
A ringing sound cuts through the conversation, my phone lighting up with a call.
"Answer that, it's safer." Her eyes practically beg me to give her a break. Give her a second to get her thought aligned.
I shake my head and pick up the phone, swiping to answer the call, Asher low timbre slipping through the speaker.
"Is Lottie there? I haven't been able to find her."
"She is." I reply, and Charlie looks to me, raising a brow.
"Please tell me she's playing nice."
I smile, "She's not a dog."
He grumbles something under his breath.
"Everything's fine, we're talking." I say when Charlie's eyes widen, her fear for her brother finding out she slept with his best friend flitting across her face.
A fear I know all too well.
"Your interrupting girl time, Asher, piss off." Charlotte says, taking the phone from me and putting it on speaker.
"You're interrupting my call with my girlfriend."
'Girlfriend' Charlotte mouths the word, looking at me with a raised brow but I can only feel the heat of a blush on my cheeks.
She focuses back on the phone. "She was my friend first, so no matter what, you will always be second best to me."
"Charlotte-"
"Cool it, Cowboy." Charlotte interrupts, "She'll call you later."
She hangs up the phone and throws it backwards on my bed. "You're his girlfriend now?"
"Apparently."
"He didn't ask you, neanderthal." She rolls her eyes. "God, boys are stupid." She moves to settle under my sheets but pauses. "There aren't . . . juices here are there?" Her nose wrinkles, lip turning up.
I shaker my head, "He stayed over last night but all we did was sleep."
"Good," she continues to tuck herself into my bed and pats the spot beside her, "Now catch me up on everything, except the juicy details and by the way I will hate you forever for taking that best friend right away from me."
I settle in beside her but give her a look. Her face falls.
"I was hoping you'd let me brush it all under the rug and forget it all ever happened."
"Honesty remember?" She doesn't reply for a second. "You gave your virginity to my brother?" I ask, pulling the conversation back to what we were speaking about before Asher called.
She drops her head in her hands, looking defeated. "It was a mistake. I woke up in the morning and he was just . . . gone."
If I could yell at Leon about that, I would. But I can't so I settle for calling him a rake under my breath.
Charlie smiles slightly but it's small, lost.
"I'm sorry he's such a player," I mutter automatically. "He has a tendency to invite girls over and then tell them it won't happen again the next morning." I roll my eyes, having heard the rumours and the morning after talk one too many times.
Charlotte stills.
Then she lifts her head slowly.
"He's not the one who said it wouldn't happen again." I blink. "I was."
That catches me off guard.
"You-"
"It was a mistake," she repeats. "One I won't be repeating."
"Did you . . . want it to?" I cringe slightly.
She shakes her head, no hesitation. "No."
There's something final in the way she says it. Not embarrassed. Not flustered.
Resolved.
"Charlie..." I hesitate. "Did he-"
"No." She cuts me off gently. "He didn't do anything wrong, you know, besides disappearing the next morning."
Silence stretches between us again. Not sharp. Just heavy.