33. Evan
“What’s your plan, Evan?”The tension in Ruby’s voice came through the phone. She’d called to check in on me a few minutes ago and we’d been talking in circles so far.
“I don”t really have one. All I know is that I can”t live without her.”
“And you”re willing to do what you need to do to keep her?” Ruby asked.
A band inside my chest tightened. After Miller left earlier this afternoon, I”d spent a lot of time thinking about my options. I could look up my Army buddy and move to Montana. That sounded appealing for all of about thirty seconds.
The one driving force that had kept me going through everything I”d experienced was the thought that one day, Frannie and I would be together. Knowing I”d had her in my arms and lost her meant there was nothing left to live for.
When I thought about all the ways I’d failed, losing Frannie was my biggest failure of all. I hadn”t allowed myself to feel whole while I was with her, so the idea of being without her filled me with a deep despair.
If there were sides to be taken, no doubt Ruby would take Frannie’s. Hell, everyone should be on Frannie’s side as far as I was concerned. “What exactly is it that you think I need to do to win her back?”
“You”re asking my opinion?” Ruby scoffed. “Since when do you ask for help from anyone?”
“That”s just it.” I rubbed the scruff on my chin. “I was an idiot to think I could get through life without asking for help.”
“And it only took you twenty-eight years to figure that out?”
“Twenty-eight years and losing the love of my life.” I shrugged, even though she couldn’t see me through the phone. “I”ve never been a quick learner.”
Ruby laughed at that. “You”re actually kind of funny when I don”t feel like strangling you.”
I didn’t want to be funny. Didn’t want to be anything except the guy who could win back Frannie’s heart. “Will you help me, Ruby?”
“Yes, I”ll help you. Frannie”s visiting her dad right now, but will be back in a couple of hours. If you want a chance to talk to her, why don”t you get cleaned up and head over? I can take Pete the Dog to the dog park and give you two a chance to talk in private.”
“Thank you.” I hung up the phone and breathed a sigh of relief. There was still a chance to salvage my relationship with Frannie. I wouldn”t blame her for being upset. Hell, I wouldn”t blame her if she landed a quick uppercut to my chin. As long as she gave me a chance to tell her how I felt and ask how I could fix things between us.
Showering proved difficult thanks to the road rash on my arms and my inability to balance very well on my good leg. Somehow, I managed to clean myself up and pull on a fresh pair of pants and a long-sleeve shirt. If I was going to grovel, I was going to look damn good doing it.
Miller came to my rescue and drove me back to my truck. By the time I pulled up in Ruby’s driveway, I hoped I wasn’t too late. The light in the front window burned bright. It had only been a few hours since I last saw Frannie, but it seemed like eons had passed.
Before I killed the ignition, Ruby came out of the front door and met me on the drive. “Leave the engine running. If she sees your truck in the drive when she gets back, she might not come in.”
“It’s that bad?”
My sister cleared her throat. “You broke up with her in the middle of Main Street. Yes, it’s that bad.”
Pete the Dog rushed over to meet me at the door as I walked into the house. At least he still loved me. Life sure seemed a lot simpler when looking through a dog”s eyes. He wouldn”t care if I walked with a limp or if I didn”t walk at all. I suppose he”d be able to teach me some long overdue lessons I needed to learn about life and love if I”d let him.
“Frannie just texted me to let me know she”s on her way back. Is there anything I can do for you before I head out?”
“Just keep your fingers crossed.” I offered her a nervous smile.
“Assuming all goes well, shoot me a text, and let me know when I can come back. And if you need more time, I can always stay the night at Mom and Dad”s or crash at Vaughn’s. He”s probably still at the distillery anyway.”
“Thanks, sis. I appreciate your insight and help.”
“Wow.” She gave me a once-over, her bright green eyes not missing a thing. “On a scale of one to ten, how much pain did it cause you to say that?”
“Eleven,” I said with a smile. “I”m hoping it gets easier with time.”
“She really does deserve better,” Ruby said.
My chin fell to my chest, and I looked down at my feet.
“Which means you’d better suck it up and not be such a dick anymore.” My sister pulled me in for a quick hug, then whirled around and called for Pete the Dog. The two of them left, and I stood in Ruby’s living room, hoping I”d find the right words when Frannie walked in the door.
While I waited, I pulled the box I’d brought with me out of my pocket and set it on the coffee table, then moved toward the mirror hanging by the front door. I”d wanted to dress to impress, but had trouble with my tie since I”d scraped up my knuckles on my fall.
I unrolled the one I wore to that stupid eighth-grade choir concert. Frannie had always said it was her favorite. With one hand, I worked it under my collar, and had barely looped it over itself when the rumble of the garage door let me know Frannie had arrived.
Moments ticked by while I waited for her to enter the room. My heart thumped so loudly it was all I could hear in the dead silence surrounding me. Finally, the door from the garage to the kitchen opened.
“I’m back,” Frannie called out. “Thanks so much for letting me borrow your car. Is there any chance you can give me a ride over to Evan’s? I”ve had a chance to think about things, and I need to go talk some sense into your brother.”
“That won”t be necessary,” I said.
“Evan?” She came into the living room looking as if she’d seen a ghost. “What are you doing here?”
I wanted to rush over and pull her into my arms, but I didn’t want to scare her off. “I’m so sorry, moon pie. I’ve been so stupid.”
She put her hands on her hips and glared at me from across the room. “You sure as hell have.”
Even in the cropped yoga pants and Beaver Bluff Elementary shirt she’d been wearing since early this morning, the sight of her sucked all the air right out of my lungs.
“How’s your leg?” she asked. The concern in her eyes alleviated some of my apprehension.
“It’s been better. I’m sorry for the way I treated you this morning. You didn’t deserve that. I was angry and frustrated and I took it out on you.”
Her expression softened. “Are you in much pain?”
“You know where it hurts the most?” I asked.
“Is it your calf or your knees? I didn’t get a good look, but it seemed like you scraped the heck out of them when you fell.”
“Neither.” I took cautious steps toward her as I placed my hand over my heart. “It hurts the most right here.”
Frannie shook her head. “You’re more stubborn than a beaver trying to build a dam in the middle of a raging river. You know that right?”
“I do. You’re a saint for putting up with me. Everyone thinks so.”
The fight seeped out of her. “We all have our burdens to bear. I guess you’re mine.”
Hope that there was still a chance to set things right between us filled my chest. “I love you, Frannie. I can’t remember a time before I started loving you. When I think about what it would be like to live without you, it doesn’t seem like a life worth living at all.”
Her lashes fluttered against her cheeks then she lifted her gaze to meet mine. “Well, at least we agree on one thing. What do you plan to do about that? You know I can’t stand by without helping you. I’ve tried, and it’s been eating me alive.”
“It’s going to take me some time,” I admitted. “But I’m willing to try. I’ll do anything to hold on to the life we’ve started building together.”
Frannie moved closer and set her palm on the front of my chest. “What do you have on?”
I look down at the shirt I hadn’t been able to button all the way and the tie sloppily draped around my neck. “I thought dressing up might make a better impression, but I couldn’t seem to tie my tie. Do you think you could help me with it?”
“You want me to tie your tie? Is that your way of showing me you’re ready to start letting me help you?” She straightened my shirt and buttoned the top two buttons.
“I thought we could start with the tie and maybe move on to something bigger. Baby steps and all that.” I cupped her chin in my hand and lifted her head so I could look into her eyes. “Will you ever be able to forgive me for what I put you through? Do you think you could give me a second chance?”
Frannie slowly knotted the tie around my neck in a perfect Windsor square. “You”re not going to get rid of me that easily. I mean, if public humiliation and breaking my heart in front of everyone in town is all you”ve got… you”re going to have to try a lot harder than that.”
“How about a do-over? The fall festival is coming up. I could take the stage and make a public profession of love in front of everyone if that will make up for it. Or better yet, I could tell you I love you over the PA system at school. There”s nothing more humiliating than baring your heart and soul in front of a couple hundred elementary school students.” I’d do anything she wanted to earn another chance. I didn’t care what it cost—Frannie was worth it.
“I thought you knew me better than that, Evan. I don”t need public declarations or huge grand gestures. All I need is you.”
“Then I guess you don”t need this.” I turned around and picked up the small box I”d left on the coffee table.
“Wait a minute. I said I didn”t need huge public demonstrations. Gifts in small boxes shared between the two of us are always welcome.”
I bit back my smile and handed her the box.
She slid her finger under the edge of the paper and pulled it free. “This isn”t another surprise from the Kink Closet, is it?”
“Not this time, moon pie.” My breath caught in my chest as I waited for her to pull off the lid.
Once she’d opened the box, she looked up at me with tears welling in her lower lids. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been looking for this? Where did you find him?”
Her fingers wrapped around the small pepper shaker, the perfect match to the little cupcake girl saltshaker she”d held on to for so many years.
“That antique shop in Bordent. The one where we found the diary. You were so preoccupied, you didn”t even check to see if they had a match.” I’d gotten so used to checking every thrift store and antique store I passed, I’d automatically searched the shelves for the smiling little pepper shaker while she’d pored over the diary.
Frannie’s forehead creased. “You”re right. How did you buy that without me noticing?”
“I went back a few days later. I also got contact info for the woman who brought in the diary. Turns out she lives way out in Nevada. If you”re still interested in trying to find out more information about Cornelia, we could start there.”
“Yes. I need to know how her story ends. I don’t think I’ll be at peace until I find out what happened to her.”
That was my girl. “I promise we’ll get to the bottom of her story. Ruby’s taking a trip to Vegas soon. I’ll see if she can track down the woman who had the diary.”
“Thank you, Evan.” Frannie set the pepper shaker back in the box and looked up at me, her eyes full of questions. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
“If you mean staying in Beaver Bluff, the answer is yes. If you mean spending every day for the rest of my life showing you how much I love you, the answer is yes. I”ve wasted so much time. Whatever comes next, as long as we face it together, we can do anything. I”m even willing to talk to the doctor about finally doing that surgery on my leg.”
Frannie’s eyes sparkled with unshed tears. “I”ll be with you every step of the way. You just have to promise not to shut me out. I love you, Evan. I love you for the man you”ve always been and for the man you are now. And you”ve always been enough for me, just the way you are.”
I held out my arms, and she burrowed into my chest. Feeling her pressed against me, her heart beating next to mine, all of my doubts faded away.