49. ZARA #2
“We’re mad as hell,” Terrah said. “But we understand why you did what you did. So does Theo, even if he wishes you hadn’t done it, so we’re three-two in your favour if it helps at all.”
The knot of guilt that had been sitting like a stone in my chest eased a little at her words.
I’d started to doubt myself again and to wonder if I’d been stupid to make the deal with Michael, but if Eli and Jed were the only ones who couldn’t understand why I’d done it, maybe they were the ones being unreasonable, not me.
“It does help. It helps a lot. Thank you. It wasn’t something I agreed to lightly. And there was something else Michael agreed to as part of our deal.”
After the way Jed and Eli had just behaved, it was tempting not to say anything and to keep the meeting between just the two of us, but I knew Seth would want the opportunity to see his team and tell them in person what was going on.
“I didn’t get the chance to tell you all in the meeting because, well, it didn’t exactly go the way I’d hoped. Michael agreed that Gabriel can bring Seth back for another visit.”
Stunned silence met my words before they both started talking at once, demanding to know when it was happening.
“I don’t know yet,” I said, perking up a bit at their enthusiasm.
“I’ll have to wait for Gabriel to let me know.
Oh, and also,” I added, “it turns out I can visit Gabriel in the dream space. And… you know what, I really need to come back to the meeting and fill everyone in on the rest of what’s happened.
Do you think Jed’s calmed down enough to listen to me yet? ”
“I’ll go and make it clear to him that he has. Give me five minutes.” I chuckled at Phoebe’s absolute conviction that she could make Jed do as he was told.
“See if you can work your magic on Eli, too,” Terrah called after her as she left. “I don’t think vampires can have heart attacks,” she said to me with a grin, “but if anyone can give him one, it’s you.”
“You know, if you’d led with this piece of information in the first place, maybe we would have been more inclined to see your point of view.” I sincerely doubted that, but if Jed was going to start being reasonable I’d best not voice that opinion. “What are the arrangements?”
“There aren’t any yet. I need to sort it out with Gabriel.
Oh, yeah, that’s the other thing you didn’t give me a chance to tell you about.
” I ignored Jed’s scowl. “I can visit with Gabriel in the dream space. And he’s a very different person when he can speak freely without fear of Michael overhearing what he’s saying. ”
“Different how?” Theo asked curiously.
“Different as in he told me that he’s playing along with Michael because he can be of more use to Seth and Lucien when the time comes if Michael continues to believe he’s completely loyal to him.”
“And you believe him?” Eli didn’t sound very convinced.
“Surprisingly, yes. I don’t entirely trust him of course, but I don’t see what he’d have to gain from lying to me about that.
I visited him last night and he was as surprised by Michael throwing in that bit about me not inciting any of you to interfere as I was.
He thinks Haniel worded it very carefully so that I would only be responsible for your actions if I was the one who caused them.
And that Michael didn’t notice because he has no reason to suspect his brothers’ motives.
“So are you saying it’s possible Michael could be facing a mutiny?” Jed asked.
“It’s looking increasingly likely. Gabriel is having to be extremely careful at the moment because none of the other brothers have openly said anything to suggest they’d be willing to oppose Michael.
I’m going to dream walk to him again tonight and see if there have been any developments, and what the plan is for bringing Seth back, then I’m going to need Nero to pull back his wards so that he can let me know officially. ”
“Absolutely not.”
I glared at Eli. “That’s not your call to make.
And how else are we supposed to arrange anything?
Have him go to Michael and say ‘oh, by the way, Zara popped into my dreams last night and we sorted out all the details for Seth’s visit?
’ Michael would go apeshit if he found out I could talk to Gabriel without him knowing. ”
“She has a point.” I smiled at Theo, grateful for his support. “We can have Nero put them back up as soon as Gabriel leaves.”
“We can worry about that later, once I’ve thrashed out the details with Gabriel. I’ll let you all know as soon as anything is decided,” I said as I stood. It was an obvious dismissal, but they took it with good grace and didn’t protest as I left them to it and went back to my apartment.
If I’d thought it would be that easy to dismiss Eli, it didn’t take him long to prove me wrong. I groaned as he knocked on the door to my apartment where I’d been hiding out until everyone left and asked if he could come in.
“I’d thought you’d left with the others,” I said, doing my best to sound like I didn’t wish he had. “Why are you still here?”
“I didn’t like the way things were left between us earlier. I was hoping we could talk.”
I sighed. “There’s nothing to talk about, Eli.
I did what I did and I’m sorry you’re not happy with me, but I’m not sorry I did it.
Talking won’t change that.” Just like Raquel had told Jules once, when it comes down to it, we all do what we can to protect the ones we love, whether they like it or not.
“I know it won’t change anything, but it might make me feel better.
You’re like a sister to me, Zara, and I hate this new distance I can feel growing between us.
A few months ago you wouldn’t have dreamed of pulling a stunt like the one you just did without talking it over with one of us first. It feels like you’re trying to shut me out again.
” If he was trying to make me feel bad, he was succeeding.
“I promise I’m not trying to shut you out, Eli.
But I can’t just sit around here like some helpless maiden in a tower waiting for a hero to come and slay the dragon for me, letting you all wrap me up in cotton wool.
That’s not who I am now. And you’re just going to have to find a way to accept that. ”
“I do accept it. But there’s a big difference between being strong and being reckless.
And running off and meeting with Michael on your own like that was incredibly reckless.
What if he had decided to cart you off to his realm and keep you there?
It’s all very well you saying Nero was with you, but can you say with any certainty that he could have stopped something like that from happening?
Or that any of us would have been able to get you back if it did happen? ”
He was getting more and more worked up as he spoke, prowling around the room and dragging his fingers through his usually perfect hair until it looked like he’d just got out of bed.
“What chance would you have had against them?” He stopped his prowling and glared at me until I answered.
“None,” I whispered, remembering how helpless I’d felt sitting there in front of the five of them and praying they meant to honour our truce.
I was very, very glad I’d decided to keep that part of my little adventure to myself, or I’d probably have been dragged off to Avalon already to stop me getting into any more trouble.
“I can’t do this anymore, Zara. I can’t be constantly worrying about what you are going to do next. Promise me you won’t pull a stunt like that again.”
“For fuck’s sake Eli. Why are you getting so upset about this?
” I said irritably, fully aware that it was my guilt putting me on the defensive but unable to do anything about it.
“It’s done now and I’m fine. Even if I wanted to pull any more stunts, the terms of the deal I made wouldn’t let me. No interference, remember?”
“And that would stop you if you decided you needed to interfere would it? Or would the fact that you’re the only one who’d pay the price now have you throwing caution to the wind and doing it anyway?” The only thing that needed to stop was him, right now, before I said something I’d regret later.
“You need to let this go, Eli,” I warned. “I love you, but you’re not my keeper.”
“Tell me you’re not going to break this fucking deal you just risked your neck for to go off on some ill thought out attempt to rescue Seth then,” he pleaded.
“Why would I do that when I’ve just got Michael to agree he can come back for a visit?
” I said incredulously. “As soon as I hear it from his own lips that he’s okay, that will be the end of it.
I'm not stupid enough to try and rescue him if he doesn't want to be rescued. So stop imagining up new things to worry about now the Watchers aren’t going to be a problem anymore.”
He looked at me solemnly. “And I have your word on that do I?”
I met his eyes without flinching. “Yes, Eli. You have my word on that.” Of course, if Seth wasn’t okay I’d need to rethink things, but that seemed unlikely if what Gabriel had told me about the oath not working if any of us were lying was true.
I saw the tension drain out of him when he realised I meant it.
“Thank you.” He threw himself down onto the sofa across from me. “You’re giving me grey hairs you know.”
“Vampires don’t age,” I said with a snort.
“Apparently our hair does. Ask Rachel if you don’t believe me, she’s the one who found them. I’m going to be a silver fox by the time this is over.”
I burst out laughing at that. “Move over George Clooney. There’s a new heartthrob in town.”
He grinned back at me and just like that everything felt back to normal between us. “Let’s go out for lunch,” he suggested. “Just you and me. Anywhere you want, my treat. I feel like celebrating that we’re okay again. We are okay, aren’t we?”
I pretended to think about it for a bit, but he looked so anxious I couldn’t keep it up for long.
“We’re okay,” I confirmed when I thought he’d suffered enough.
“How could I stay mad at my favourite vampire? Especially when he’s buying me lunch.
And please don’t think I don’t appreciate you looking out for me.
It’s just that sometimes you’re a bit too bossy about it.
I’ll go and get changed,” I added before he had a chance to argue.
“And I’ll see if I can book us a table at Be Positive. I know how much you love it there.”
I pretended not to hear his squawk of outrage as I shut the door to the bedroom behind me.