Chapter 23
TWENTY-THREE
Elle
Elle: I just got back to the hotel. Grabbing my stuff. I’ll let you know if I end up staying here tonight. I reeeally don’t want to, but I don’t want to overstay my welcome with Mr. Navy Man either …
Elle: Do I even want to know what you’re talking about?
Ruthie: Midwestern states are expecting a cold front with record snowfall for this time of year. You should DEFINITELY shack up with Mr. Navy Man again tonight. He’ll keep you warm …
Elle: You’re full of shit. Also, it’s been one day since Jesse. I’m not letting Mr. Navy Man keep me warm. Do you know me at all?
Ruthie: I’m telling you … put the news on. I’ll bet you fifty bucks your flight tomorrow gets canceled, sis. Also, I’m a big believer in the power of a good rebound, so don’t close that clam up just yet. There may just be a pearl inside, waiting to be discovered by a worthy sailor …
Elle: LOL. You’re sick …
Ruthie: Can I at least see a picture of new and improved Mr. Navy Man? Does he have social media?
Elle: No, and I don’t know. I’ve been too busy picking up the pieces of my broken heart to ask.
Ruthie: If I ever see Jesse again, his balls will be topping our Christmas tree.
Elle: Like, so sick … you need a doctor.
Ruthie: Does Mr. Navy Man have a name?
Ruthie: I need to see a picture of him!
Ruthie: You said he seemed older, but, like, HOW much older are we talking? Older guys are soooo hot. It’s giving DADDY, if you know what I mean.
MY PHONE CHIMED ON AFTER I slipped it back into my purse.
Ruthie could only be serious in her support for one day at most. Apparently, that day had been yesterday because her new approach overflowed with sexual references, rebound suggestions, and questions I expected only from her. She had a point though.
How old was Chief Carterson?
Austin and I approached my hotel room, stopping at the door. My nervous system electrocuted itself. The only thing more embarrassing than dismantling this room would be doing it with someone like him standing next to me.
“Do you want to wait for me in the lobby? Great coffee bar down there,” I lied.
Embarrassment wasn’t a strong enough word for what I was about to experience. Death by pathetic sex dungeon was more like it.
“No,” he said, straight-faced. “If you let me help you, we can get it done faster.”
It made sense, but not enough to convince me.
“Mmkay,” I mumbled sarcastically, my effort missing the mark by a mile.
Austin could do a lot of things well. Taking a hint wasn’t one of them.
“Does this mean you’re staying at my place again tonight?” His tone told me he’d prefer it that way.
“I haven’t decided yet. I figured I’d see how this went and go from there. Is that all right?”
“Of course. I just want you to know that you don’t have to stay in this room if you don’t want to or if it’s too much. You’re welcome at my place for as long as you need.”
Austin leaned against the wall, his posture relaxed while he patiently waited for me to open the damn door. It was the first position he’d assumed that resembled that of an average man instead of a naval chief.
With no way around it, I nodded, took a deep breath, and retrieved the room key from my bag.
The door to room 102 opened with a subtle click, giving Austin a direct view into my hopeless devotion.
The stunned look on his stupidly handsome face when we entered suggested he regretted joining me.
It was too late to extinguish that fire.
I let the shame burn me instead.
“You know what? This was a bad idea.” I halted and turned to shove him back out the door.
Despite my best efforts, he remained still, even as I pressed all my force into his chest. He was a brick wall. My petite frame stood no chance against his trunk of a body.
“Where should we start?” he asked.
He was here to help. No matter how uncomfortable the sight made him, it was apparent he wasn’t leaving.
“I don’t know. I …” My gaze ping-ponged, and I noticed all the things I hoped he didn’t.
What task could I possibly give him that wouldn’t continue to embarrass me?
“Ruthie mentioned some bad weather coming in. How about you turn the news on while I gather my things so I can decide where I’m staying tonight? It would help if you didn’t watch me right now,” I confessed.
He stared down at me without blinking, killing my embarrassment and replacing it with something much more profound.
Understanding.
“I can do that. I think you’ve already made that decision though. And I agree with it.”
Austin could command a room without even trying. A man of few powerful words.
Damn.
They froze me.
Ruthie was right, and so was he. There was no reason to stay alone at the hotel tonight when I could stay in a comfortable bed while Austin cooked for me, took me to see Jesse, and drove me back to the airport.
No taxis, no staring at what could have been, no shitty continental breakfast or stale coffee, no unnecessary hotel charges, just peace.
And safety until my flight home.
“I don’t have to help you if you don’t want me to. But I’m here if you need me. I’ll check the weather on my phone while you decide. Either way, it’s no problem.”
His right arm rose from his side, and he gently cupped my shoulder. I stared at our connection.
The quick movement left me feeling like a scolded little girl. But the unexpected jolt it evoked from my chest was a sensation understood only by a woman.
“Okay …” I barely whispered.
Where is my breath?
Austin took it with him when he turned and sat on the floral-fabric chair in the corner of the room and got busy with his phone. I turned, hiding whatever the hell was blossoming over my cheeks.
Quickly, I gathered the lingerie, massage oil, and vibrator—the most embarrassing items within Austin’s radius.
He didn’t appear to be watching me; his line of sight remained pinned on his phone.
However, he did a terrible job of hiding the smile that could have only come from realizing what I was doing.
I’d grab the rose petals later, but at least the big-ticket items were out of view.
Fifteen minutes later, I emerged from the bathroom with a fully stocked toiletry bag. Austin no longer held his phone. Instead, he sat back in the chair, his legs spread as wide as his rugged pants would allow.
His whole body greeted me.
“Feeling less embarrassed now that the bandage is off?” He smirked. His arms remained glued to the armrests, like a king on his throne.
Statuesque was his stance. Thumping was my fucking chest.
“Yes. But I didn’t really have a choice, now did I?” I challenged.
“No choice but to get it over with and move forward, right? One step closer to the future you deserve.”
I nodded at his statement. Without a doubt, he was making one.
“Can I confess something?” he added.
“Sure.”
“This is so fucked.” His confession barely found me before he erupted into equal parts berating and humorous laughter. It didn’t feel like Austin was judging me though. Instead, he laughed with me in realization.
Relief riddled my exhale.
“Tell me about it.” I rolled my eyes. They went right back to staring at him. He was the only one in the world who knew all the details of what I was dealing with. The only one who had seen the video, the deceit.
The only one who could laugh with me when all I wanted to do was lose it …
“Could he be any less of a man?”
What is his point in putting Jesse down?
Did he think it would lift me up? Because his repeated attacks only made me feel worse. Like I was some idiot for trusting Jesse in the first place.
“Look around you, Elle. You stayed dedicated to him for months while keeping up with your own life, came all this way, and were even thoughtful enough to bring rose petals and other … things.”
I laughed as he avoided naming the other unmentionable things he’d spotted around the room.
“It rattles me to my core that someone like Jesse would do this to someone like you.”
“What do you mean, someone like me?” I asked, inching toward him.
Did he think I was better than Jesse or the other way around?
“You’re a beautiful person—obviously on the outside, but clearly on the inside too. It bothers me so immensely that I can only laugh at his stupidity. He’ll get what he deserves. And if I have anything to do with it, so will you.”
His statement left me flushed, flattered, and stunned, among other things.
My body sank onto the corner of the bed before my face dropped, my gaze aligning with the patterned carpet beneath me.
What was he alluding to? Potent and reassuring words from someone of his esteem carried weight, leaving whatever was between us heavy.
So heavy that I felt the air evacuating my lungs as his statement crushed them.
Austin spoke about me the way I imagined a husband would brag about his wife when she wasn’t in the room—effortlessly and with force behind every syllable. On occasion, I’d felt I deserved better than Jesse, but, damn, Austin made me want to believe it.
“Look at me,” he commanded.
I lifted my chin and obeyed long enough to watch another man rise and take Jesse’s spot next to me on the edge of the bed.
“It’s his loss, and you’d better believe that.”
This man was used to commanding a room. Yes, sir, were the only words I wanted to say. But nothing came out.
“Do you believe it? That you deserve more?” His words were surprisingly soft. His attention rose.
“Not yet,” I replied honestly.
How could a man I hardly knew take my breath away so easily? The answer contained reasons I couldn’t pinpoint.
“Mark my words,” Austin promised. When he stared into me, his sage fields returned, letting my warm, sunny irises water them. “You will.”