Chapter 25
TWENTY-FIVE
Elle
A KALEIDOSCOPE OF COLORS, PULSATING music, and excitement lit up Navy Pier and Austin’s sculpted face.
Featured in one of my favorite movies, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, the attraction was famous in Chicago and in my search history.
The popular tourist destination had piqued my interest when I researched the trip, my heart badgering me to add it to the list of things I wanted to experience with Jesse.
Looking back, I realized he should have been planning those things for me, not the other way around.
Another reminder that forever had never been in our cards.
The balls of my feet took a beating while I bobbed on them to see my surroundings better.
Austin and I paced closer to the action, the vibrations around me meeting the swirls of anticipation swimming around my stomach.
If I let unease win, I’d never be comfortable again, so I allowed the dancing lights and intensifying energy to draw me in.
It was time to get comfortable with being a little uncomfortable.
Besides, the only way to get to a different room was by walking through a different door, right? Standing next to Austin at a place I’d thought I’d experience with Jesse was a very different door.
Yet one I was surprisingly interested in entering.
Guilt could have turned me around before we approached the entrance of the pier, but Jesse hadn’t cared that Rita Camellino wasn’t me when he fucked the decency out of her.
Why should I? I muted my guilt and admired Austin’s effort.
He’d chosen this place as the backdrop to my lousy weekend. It was thoughtful of him.
I was grateful for the distraction. And for the heavy pep in his step.
In the distance, a giant illuminated Ferris wheel invited us to the farthest end of the pier, steady in its enormous, sweeping motion.
Several other amusement rides swirled around it, creating an enticing arrangement of motion and sound.
The place mimicked a county fair, mixed with a lakeside boardwalk, on steroids.
Live jazz music pumped from a stage positioned off to the side of our path.
A woman, wearing colorful hippie-style clothing and charm-embellished dreadlocks, swayed around two sitting musicians, allowing the breeze to take hold of her body and sultry vocal cords.
She sang and moved with confidence and admirable freedom.
I smiled at her enviously. For a moment, I was hypnotized, marking the first moment I’d allowed myself to fully think of something other than Jesse.
Austin knew what he was doing, bringing me here.
“Well, this is incredible,” I said, turning to catch a glimpse of Austin through my crystalized breath. It froze in midair, something I wasn’t used to. The goose bumps sprinkling my skin told me the temperature had dropped significantly.
“I knew you’d love it.” He smiled, almost tripping me with his charm.
It didn’t matter that hundreds of people were among us. The way he communicated with his entire body made it feel like it was just the two of us. His mouth, chest, and frostbitten words said so much.
“How could you know that?” I asked.
Like he was in a designer cologne commercial, Austin buried his left hand into his front jeans pocket and rose briefly on his toes. “It’s vibrant and cheerful, full of life. Like you.”
“That’s sweet, aside from the fact that I’ve literally been the opposite recently …” I added.
Did he receive my subtle admission? Perhaps I shouldn’t have felt bad about the mood that had engulfed my normally warm, appreciative demeanor all day. But I did. None of my situation was Austin’s fault.
Jesse was the only target for my sharpened comments and daggered annoyances.
“Can you try something for me?” The statement read more like an order than a suggestion. Austin adjusted his stance, zipping his jacket before stepping closer toward me.
“Like?” I asked.
On his approach, Austin’s sweeping upper body crowded my view. I craned my neck back, peering up at him to take in his entirety.
“Look, I know we don’t know each other very well, but can I show you what kind of night this was supposed to be for you? You’re so in your head, and it’s fine. But …”
“But … what?” I asked curiously.
His pause stoked my interest before he finally continued. A wide breath expanded his chest.
“Maybe you can step out of that head for a few hours tonight and step toward me. You deserve to have fun and enjoy yourself. Let me help get you there.”
His words were immaculate, almost rehearsed. Mostly though, they were convincing because how the hell could I say no to a request like that?
A handsome-ass, respectable-ass, tall-ass, muscular-ass, military-ass, established-ass man wanted to show me what I deserved. Even if just for a night, he wished to pull me into a world where I could let a man lead instead of feeling like I was leading one.
Not one single reason to say no came to me. Besides, it was a learning opportunity.
An opportunity to learn what it could feel like to experience Elle without Jesse for the first time in years.
A blurted response leaped from my lips without caution.
“You know what, Chief Carterson? I’m in.
Besides, your chivalry is unmatched so far, and if I’m honest, I think you can show me a better time tonight than Jesse ever would have …
” It was unlike me, releasing a line like that so shamelessly.
If Ruthie were with me, she would be smacking my ass at the confidence I often had a hard time projecting.
It felt amazing.
The grin that erupted across Austin’s face revealed the teeth that had taunted me earlier at breakfast. His right thumb met the corner of his parted smile before he gracefully swiped it across his bottom lip. Nature had undoubtedly designed his phenomenal smile and full lips.
A mouth that was hard to say no to.
“I must say, I agree. Heavily.” He laughed too loudly, rocking back on his heels.
A rare moment of awkwardness found us. He was so smooth, but his Adam’s apple fell as he swallowed whatever else he wanted to say. Making him nervous made me nervous.
It was exhilarating.
“You probably didn’t imagine my first move of the night to be leaving you alone, but can you wait here for a few minutes? Give me ten, and I’ll be back.” The wink he shot me as he turned and walked away told me that whatever he was up to would be worth the wait.
I sat on a nearby wooden bench, bouncing my legs to the beat of the music.
An older couple passing by released warm laughter into the air.
Their hands remained as intertwined as their memories likely were—a glimmer of hope that enviable, sustainable relationships still existed in the world.
My chest ignited. It was my turn to enjoy what the night had to offer.
If I let it.
Several minutes later, as promised, Austin approached me with overflowing armfuls of every carnie-style treat I could imagine. In the crooks of his elbows sat two tubular light-up glasses, each filled to the brim with blue slush.
For the love of God, please tell me those contain alcohol, I thought.
Cushioned between his thick biceps and forearms, a funnel cake, pink cotton candy, and two steaming hot dogs balanced strategically. I smiled, my expression greeting him and the mountain of delicious junk food he presented.
How the hell did one person carry that much? I didn’t care.
My stomach sparked with as much enthusiasm as my eyes did.
“I knew you’d be hungry, so I had to cover all the bases. I got something sweet, something salty, something fried, and something alcoholic. Take your pick, doll.” He accentuated the word doll with an old-school, bad-boy accent, straight out of the movie Grease.
My all-time favorite movie.
“As tough as that decision should be, it’s easy.
I’ll take one of each.” I stood and retrieved a frozen cocktail from his arms before sitting back down and bringing it to my lips, allowing my tongue to guide the multicolored swirly straw into my mouth.
Blue raspberry flavoring overwhelmed my taste buds with each long sip.
“Shit, that’s good,” I released between slurps. Eager to reap the benefits of the liquid courage hiding inside, I sucked the straw harder.
A few drops of sugary saliva overflowed from the corner of my mouth.
Austin’s hawk-like stare while he watched my tongue find every fallen drop told me he was pleased with himself. He appeared to enjoy watching me enjoy things. He placed the rest of our treats down next to me.
“Napkin?” he asked, bringing a clean square from his back pocket to my chin.
I nodded.
Cleaning up my messes yet again …
Someone like him could probably drown a woman in her own cum. I could tell he was a natural pleaser. A pleasure protector, if you would.
The heat of the forbidden thought found my thighs, as unexpected as the thought itself.
Am I a bad person for having dirty thoughts about Chief Carterson?
Or was I simply observing the opposite sex for the first time in a long time?
Besides, anyone with a beating heart could recognize his potential to rock someone’s world in bed. He could fling a woman around any way he pleased.
Was that why he’d just called me doll?
I bit down on my tongue, hoping the sharp pain would capture my inappropriate thoughts.
He sat beside me. The bench shook below us as it worked overtime to support his stout body and my hungry one.
I claimed the cotton candy as my own while he started his feast with the funnel cake.
We ate together—silently. I’d never eaten a hot dog so fast in my life, allowing the sugar, alcohol, and calories to layer in my stomach like sand art.
Austin ate every last crumb of his delicacies and then finished whatever I couldn’t of mine.
The man could eat.
“What now?” I broke the silence as our indulgences came to an end.
Austin collected the trash from our feast and threw the wrappers into a nearby garbage can. “Come with me.” He offered me his hand and a softened expression, anticipating my unsteadiness before I stood.
I rose, leaving my inhibitions at the bottom of my empty cocktail glass.
My fingers relaxed into his when I took his hand. Even when I was fully upright, he didn’t let go.
“Let’s decide what’s next together. I’ve been taking trips here since I was a kid, but this is all new to you. I want to know what’s drawing you in.”
Rich gold, spirited oranges, and lively shades of raspberry illuminated the sky behind the giant Ferris wheel at the pier’s edge. Heights hadn’t been kind to me—mild turbulence had made me vomit as a child—but I’d always wanted to ride on one. To let it take me higher.
To a place where I’d have no choice but to get comfortable with my fear.
“Okay, Mr. Smooth. See that Ferris wheel?” I tilted my head in its direction.
His ears perked up, and he nodded curiously.
“I don’t care what we do first. I just want to end up there.” I pointed to the highest point at the top of the wheel. “I’ve always been too scared to ride one, but I kind of want to make it my bitch …”
His laugh was the sweetest sound. Deep enough to remain manly but raw enough to sound genuine.
It was the kind of laugh you never forgot.
“You got it. Sounds like a good opportunity to go after something you’ve always wanted,” he said. I agreed. “Let’s wander, maybe get a bit lost, and then we’ll go show that thing who’s boss.”
I could tell he enjoyed my admission of being a Ferris wheel virgin.
His stride moved at half capacity, mimicking my smaller paces.
His hand never left mine.