Chapter 47
FORTY-SEVEN
Elle
GRIPPING MY LEATHER-BOUND DEGREE, I sauntered through the post-graduation chaos until I found my parents, Ruthie, and her stepbrother, Preston. Cheers and claps erupted from my crew when I approached, filling my soul.
Thankful was not a strong enough word to describe what I felt for them.
When my parents embraced me, they didn’t speak—they didn’t have to. The joy uniting us grounded me quicker than words could. They were proud.
I’d never been prouder of myself for giving them that.
Ruthie and Preston pressed yellow roses into my arms, followed by a delightfully suffocating three-way hug.
“Congratulations to the smartest bitch in the room!” Ruthie caressed the fabric sashes and threaded cords decorating my collar.
Honor Society, magna cum laude—each honor represented a piece of my hard work and dedication. For the first time in months, I felt like myself, accomplishing everything I’d set out to.
Well, almost everything.
No matter how hard I’d tried, I couldn’t erase the man made of Elle magnets and orgasms from my memory. His boldness, his body, his tattoos, the way he’d cooled me down like summer rain on asphalt. Austin was beyond memorable. He was exceptionally unforgettable.
“Come, honey. Toss your cap into the air and give me a cute little pose. I want to get a video so I can show off my incredibly brilliant offspring,” my mother directed.
She was good on social media, better than Ruthie and me combined.
Was it slightly embarrassing at times? Yes. Did I do it anyway? Also, yes. Because if it were my daughter graduating, I would want to capture the moment and share it every way I could.
After kicking my right leg to the side, I held it bent and smiled like I’d just graduated with a degree in game-show-host-ology. I flung my cap a few feet above my head, only for my dad to grab it when it came back down.
“For the memory box,” he said, pressing it against his chest and staring solemnly at me.
I rubbed his shoulder and nodded, knowing the day meant as much to him as it did to me.
“My turn,” he added. “I always get the best pictures.”
Ruthie and I embraced before posing for endless shots on my dad’s beloved camera. She kissed my cheek, leaving her signature lipstick stain behind on my skin.
“Your friend was looking for you earlier. He sat behind us, and we chatted quite a bit during the ceremony. Nice guy,” my dad reported.
I froze.
“Yeah, he’s something else, babe,” Ruthie said, the enthusiasm in her voice infecting my every pore. Her sharp gaze bored into me.
“My friend?” I sputtered.
Each person encircling me smirked as the walls of the auditorium narrowed.
Jesse wasn’t back for more, was he? The reactions surrounding me wouldn’t be so …
off-kilter if that were the case. Besides, they’d all met my ex; he was old news.
Even my dad had sounded genuine when he mentioned my “friend.” That alone told me it wasn’t Jesse.
But it couldn’t be Austin.
“Said he was an old pen pal from some military charity project. Good-looking dude,” Preston added.
I looked at Ruthie desperately, knowing her expression would reveal more than anyone else’s. We were fluent in best friend, often practicing the unspoken language when we wanted to communicate in groups without anyone else realizing it.
I grabbed both of her hands and stared at her, silently begging her eyes to speak to mine. Instead of answering their call, they remained still, locked on something behind me.
The moment he touched my shoulder, I knew.
His wintry scent.
The hands that wandered my body every time I closed my eyes and imagined my happy place in yoga class. Every time I touched myself.
His energy had its own identity, and it stood right behind me. A jolt swam through me before my neck swiveled and my body collided with one composed of steel and heat.
His.
Instead of a naval uniform, Austin’s body filled out a dark gray suit and deep blue tie.
The fabric—pasted over his thighs, shoulders, and neck—barely concealed the splendor of his statuesque build.
His two-toned watch glimmered in the overhead lighting, reflecting the magnitude of his oversize hands.
I knew what those hands could do. No longer was he trapped in my desires.
He was standing right in front of me.
“Congratulations, Elle.” Austin’s silky voice was as medicinal as I remembered. He smiled down at me like a ray of sunshine, cutting through the storm clouds surrounding our last encounter.
“Uhhh … wha-what are you doing here? When did you get here? How did you …” I spewed. The fragmented questions dissipated as they left my lips.
“I couldn’t miss this,” Austin said. His voice didn’t sway, the words as solid and sturdy as he was.
He stepped closer suddenly. Dizziness drizzled my thoughts like hot fudge. I was happy, pissed, angry, overwhelmed, and a dozen other emotions my mental-state sundae bowl couldn’t accommodate.
I stepped back.
What was he doing here after all the time that had passed?
He had flown to Pensacola and introduced himself to my family without my knowledge, just to watch me graduate and leave?
I wasn’t going to let him destroy me all over again after I’d barely made it out alive the first time around. I couldn’t.
“I can’t believe you’re here …” I released.
“In the flesh,” he replied.
Sure, I was pissed at him. It didn’t change the fact that I could listen to his voice forever and never tire of it.
“And what mighty fine flesh it is, if I do say so myself,” Ruthie added.
She’d sat with me while I cried about Austin on multiple occasions and rescued me from my yoga-induced la-la-land fantasies more than once, so why was she so quick to forgive him?
He has that effect on women, I thought. Not me. Not anymore.
“A little notice would have been nice.” I straightened, regaining the composure he’d stolen the moment I saw him. “Not everything revolves around the one and only Chief Austin Carterson.”
“Well, I’m not so sure about that,” my mother interjected, scanning him like a barcode reader from every angle.
She, too, appeared enamored, based on the giant ear-to-ear grin plastered across her face. Both she and Ruthie were in for a stern lecture by the end of the day.
Were they that blinded by him? I couldn’t blame them.
Austin’s suit didn’t help my case.
“You’re right. I should have told you I was coming. But I was in town for work, and I wanted to be here. I’m proud of you. I needed you to know that.”
Pain masked Austin’s perfect features. The strength I remembered remained, yet new, darkened shadows sat above his cheeks. Guilt struck my anger, softening it.
“I hope you’ll join us for a celebratory dinner this evening.
I’m sure the restaurant could accommodate one more on our reservation.
We’d love to hear more about your time in the service.
Plus, they make the best chicken Parmesan in town,” my father suggested.
He placed a hand on Austin’s shoulder, positioning himself as his silent second.
Why on earth was he so inviting toward Austin? I must’ve missed a few things during their introductions because—oh, that’s right—I was busy graduating.
“As much as I appreciate the extremely kind offer, Mr. Madelyn, I wouldn’t want to intrude. I only wanted to congratulate Elle and give her this.”
Austin lifted a gift bag from the floor beside him and placed its knitted handles into my hand. The bag’s contrasting emerald and silver coloring reminded me of the snowflake-kissed trees surrounding his house, the ones I’d admired from his kitchen window when we did the dishes together.
The ones I’d barely noticed when he led me to his woodshed and chose me as his frozen dessert.
“Open it later, when you get home,” he urged. “I don’t want it to distract you from your celebration.”
He let go, leaving the gift in my possession and the warmth from his fingertips lingering on my palm. His touch could have burned a hole in my skin, and I still would have accepted it. I didn’t want to need his touch, but it felt like I still lived for it.
“Why can’t she open it now? Is it some top-secret pen-pals-only thing?” Ruthie chimed in. Mischief and sarcasm saturated her questions.
She knew exactly who he was; we’d found a photo of him online when she begged me to look him up. Only one was posted on the recruitment website, but it was enough.
“Something like that.” Austin nodded her way before immediately redirecting his stare back to me. His desperate smile planted a forest of aches deep in my chest.
“I’ll save it for later then,” I muttered cooly. Perhaps a thank-you would have been the right thing to offer. Instead, I sharpened my verbal weapons to defend myself in case he tried to break me open again.
“It was a pleasure meeting all of you. Maybe one day, we can get to know each other better over a proper meal,” he suggested warmly.
Austin’s mouth was more distracting than my best friend’s, mimicking a panting dog behind his head.
“Honey, that sounds lovely. I’ll get your number from Elle, and we can arrange something the next time you’re in town,” Mom chirped.
My mother could try all she wanted, but would soon realize it was impossible to get his number from me because I didn’t have it myself.
Unease seeped into my mind at the thought, knocking my confidence. He’d never even given me his phone number. How could I have ever let him have such a hold on me?
The crowd surrounding us seemed to fade.
He and I were back at the top of the Ferris wheel for a moment, and like then, Austin’s torment was unmistakable.
His facade remained calm and strong from the outside, but I knew him well enough to know his insides were a blazing inferno, just like mine.
The way his smile didn’t fully expand when he leaned in to hug me goodbye proved it.
There was a reason I’d avoided our first goodbye—I had known it would be impossible to follow through with.
This one felt no different.