Chapter 23
Ellie
This night has been the most fun I’ve had in a long time. If I’m being honest, I was more than a little worried.
The couple of times I had gone out with my ex and his friends, I never had things to talk about and ended up just sitting quietly while everyone else talked.
I always thought there was something wrong with me, but Megan and Natalie made it easy.
Whenever there was a lull in the conversation, one of them just brought up something new, and we continued on.
What I really appreciated was not having to think for a while.
It was refreshing to turn my brain off and just chat, and I’m actually planning on taking up Natalie’s offer to go shopping sometime.
Feeling on top of the world, I offer to go up to the open bar to grab Patrick and I another drink while he goes to the bathroom.
The bar is loud and crowded with Patrick’s coworkers catching up.
Now that dinner is over, most people have gone back to their hotel rooms, but those who haven’t have made their way to the bar.
As I weave my way through the crowd, I get lost in thoughts of that kiss, and my knees go a little weak.
I was not planning on kissing Patrick tonight, but there was no way to know that he was going to kiss me back like that.
The wetness between my legs has not lessened, and it’s making it hard to focus on anything.
Everyone at the table was looking at us when he pulled away and went back to his dessert, and the only thing I could do was sip my water, hoping that the conversation would start up again.
My forearms rest on the bar top, and I cringe at the slight dampness. As I wait to get the bartender’s attention, someone stands uncomfortably close to me, and when I look to my left, I see Patrick’s coworker, Rebecca, leaning against the bar, staring daggers at me.
How can someone look so pretty and mean at the same time?
I push down my nerves and put on my best fake smile. “Hi, Rebecca, right? Patrick’s mentioned you before.”
“What are you doing with him?” Her voice is sharp and direct, and it catches me off guard.
I’m shocked by her audacity, but I refuse to play into whatever she is doing. “What do you mean? Patrick is my boyfriend. This is the company weekend for employees and loved ones, isn't it?”
I try to make light of whatever game she's playing at, but she doesn’t let up.
“I’m just confused because he has never mentioned you before.
Literally everyone in the office didn’t even know he had a girlfriend until he brought you to the happy hour.
I don’t want to start any drama, but by the way he openly flirts with one of our other coworkers, I’m honestly shocked that he’s seeing someone.
Look, I’m just trying to look out for you.
It would be a shame for you to embarrass yourself. ”
I don’t know why she’s doing this here, but if Patrick is seeing someone else, I need to know. Hating that I have to go along with whatever this is, I feel my stomach sink when I ask, “Uhhh, what do you mean?”
“Well, you didn’t hear it from me, but it’s obvious that he has had a crush on Natalie since forever.
He is always offering to help her, going over to her desk to spend time with her, whispering and giggling all the time.
I’ve even seen them both go into his office…
alone. Technically speaking, nobody knows what’s happening, but when the blinds are closed, people assume things.
I saw that you were chatting with her all night, and I’m just surprised it didn’t get awkward. ”
The feeling in my stomach gets worse, like I am filled with bricks.
After what I overheard in the bathroom last night and now this, I am desperately jealous but also unbearably guilty.
Thinking back, there’s the way they are so comfortable with each other and the way she leans in every time they talk that feel like blaring red flags. It’s all making me nauseous. And fuck, it’s so obvious. Of course they like each other, and I spent the whole night getting to know Natalie.
It makes me more upset thinking about how much I like her. I shouldn’t feel bad because Patrick is not mine, but that doesn’t stop the feelings that are crushing me down.
When I don’t respond, Rebecca smirks and corners me like a snake cornering a tiny farm mouse. “I’m just telling you to be careful. Guys like that don’t deserve such dutiful, little girlfriends.”
“I’m sorry I have to go.” My eyes sting as I push past her to get some space.
I’m at a loss for what to do.
My stomach hurts so bad that I can’t think straight. The last thing I wanted to do was to keep Patrick away from someone he wants to be with. Fuck, I need to go somewhere to think, but before I get a chance to run away, Patrick approaches me.
His face drops when he sees me, and I realize that I’ve let Rebecca’s words affect me way more than I should have. “Hey, El. You doing okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Uhhh, yeah, no, I don’t feel so good. I think it might be a bug or something.” I try to force a smile, but it’s not happening. “You should stay and have fun. I think I’m going to go back up to the hotel room and try to sleep it off.”
My attempt to push past him fails as his hand grips my bicep, keeping me in place.
The hold he has on me is firm, and he’s motionless, waiting for my eyes to meet his.
There is a strange look that I can’t quite figure out—maybe he knows I’m lying.
Ugh, it’s unfortunate that I’m not better at hiding my emotions.
“Are you sure everything is okay?" Warmth pulls inside me as he reaches to touch my forehead. "I'll go with you.”
Without much fight, he lets me go the second I pull away from him, but the guilt continues to build. I stammer, “N-no, it’s fine. I just think I need to get some rest. Please stay.”
“El, I’m not going to have a good time if I know that you are in our hotel room, alone, not feeling well. Let me come with you. Let me take care of you.” He is adamant and genuine, and apparently, there is nothing I hate more than lying to him.
Deciding it’s not worth protesting, I give in. Patrick says a quick goodbye to our group, and we head upstairs.
The elevator ride is silent; so is the walk to our room. As soon as we get inside, I run into the bathroom to try to gather my thoughts. If Patrick wants to be with Natalie, I shouldn’t stand in their way. It was me who put him in this mess to begin with, and I hate that I'm holding him back.
Staring at myself in the mirror, I know what I’m going to say, but as soon as I leave the bathroom, my mind goes blank again.
Patrick is stoic, sitting on the end of the bed. He has taken his suit jacket off, having laid it over the back of the couch. The sides of his mouth are downturned, and his eyes are full of concern.
“Ellie, are you sure you’re okay? When I was saying goodbye to Wes, he mentioned that Rebecca came up to talk to you while I was in the bathroom. Did she say something? Please, tell me what happened.”
The nerves hit me as I pace around the room, trying to get my thoughts together while Patrick watches me intently. Taking a deep breath, I speak out the words I don’t want to say.
“I think we need to stop fake dating.”
“What? Where is this coming from, El?” His jaw drops and the surprise in his voice catches me off guard, making me hesitate—which is where I fuck up.
I’m not the type of person that can make up some elaborate lie on the spot, and I don’t want to be that type of person. I hope that if I tell him what happened, he’ll understand where I’m coming from, and if he decides to be with Natalie, then I will respect his decision.
Trying to find the words, I can’t stop myself from twisting my hands in front of me.
“Um, Rebecca came up to me at the bar and told me about how you are in the office. She was saying that you like someone, and she insinuated a couple other things. I just—” His gaze burns through me, but I refuse to look at him.
“I don’t want to hold you back from actually being with somebody else.
That’s not what I want for you. You are nice and kind, and you deserve to be happy, with someone you actually want to be with. ”
His voice strains as he tries to make sense of my ramblings. “Ellie, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve told you before that I am not interested in dating a coworker, and even if I was, there isn’t anyone in the office that I like. Did she say who it was?”
When I swallow, it feels like shards of glass.
Not ready to see his reaction, I keep my eyes on the floor and blurt it out.
“She said that you like Natalie—and that she liked you back. I guess I understand that you can’t be together since you’re her boss, but I don’t want to stand in your way.
I’m sure there’s a way that you guys can be together.
Isn’t there like an HR contract that you can sign or—”
A loud laugh startles me, leaving me grasping at my non-existent pearls, and when I expect it to stop, he just keeps going.
Standing there dumbfounded, I can’t figure out what’s going on. Our gazes meet, and I watch as a tear rolls down his face, leaving me more confused than ever.
“That bitch… that fucking bitch.” He tries to calm himself down, but his chuckles are still intermixed with his words. “Rebecca is an idiot. If she’s going to lie to you, she should at least make it something realistic.”
“What?”
“El, listen. I love Natalie—” Hurt flashes across my face, and when Patrick realizes what he’s done, he quickly gets to the point. “But, she’s a lesbian. Her girlfriend couldn’t make it this weekend, so that’s why she’s here by herself.”
A sigh of relief releases from my lungs as he continues. “Rebecca has had a crush on me for years, and despite her persistence, I am not interested in her in the slightest. I’m so sorry, El. I didn’t realize that she would play dirty like that to try to scare you away.”