Chapter 29
Patrick
That fucking hurt, and the worst part is that I let it get to me.
There was nothing off about Ellie texting me to come over last night.
I figured that she just wanted to blow off some steam after her stressful day, and I was happy to oblige.
Honestly, I was just excited to spend some time with her.
There's been a lingering empty feeling since Ellie left the parking lot Sunday afternoon, but it had stopped temporarily when I thought I was going to spend the evening with her.
That desperate need to see her, to be near her, keeps growing.
The look on her face when she opened the door was of shock, but it quickly turned to confusion and then frustration.
It shouldn’t have impacted me like it did, but I couldn’t help but feel disappointed.
I wanted to stay, but Ellie didn’t want me there.
It wasn’t even her that invited me, but I had hoped that she was going to ask me to stay anyway.
If anything, I could’ve helped her go over her notes or just played with her hair while she studied, but that is not what happened.
I drove home and watched TV until I fell asleep—alone.
The empty feeling is stronger than ever, and I don’t know how to get rid of it.
I was hoping that seeing Ellie at The Brew would make me feel better, but my dumb brain was too focused on what happened last night to let that happen. I started my own pity party by overthinking.
Since she didn’t want me to stay last night, that must also mean that she wants her distance this morning. Not knowing what else to do, I stood in my 'pre-fake dating' lobby spot and watched her make my drink from afar.
The last thing I want is to overstep my boundaries and lose Ellie completely since it would be completely unbearable to have had her and lost her so quickly.
I’ve been moping in my office all morning, and it has not gone unnoticed.
Wes has come up to me four different times asking for help analyzing the new set of data from last month’s online sales.
Mind you, Wes hasn’t asked for my help in over three years, so I refuse to believe that it is for no other reason than to scope me out.
It would be absurd to think he suspects my mood is because of Ellie, but his reconnaissance attempts are obvious nonetheless.
As soon as I got into the office yesterday, I filed a report with HR about the Rebecca incident at the hotel.
Deciding not to go into details about Ellie’s involvement or what was said about her, I still made a formal statement that Rebecca was spreading rumors about an office romance that does not exist. Even if there was something going on, office romances are only frowned upon, not forbidden.
Whatever anyone does here isn’t any of my business, but I am not in one, especially not with Natalie.
This whole thing just brought light to how awful Rebecca is, and I can trust that the gossip has already spread throughout the building.
Knowing the office dynamic and how everything works, since this is Rebecca’s first attempt, she will get a slap on the wrist and have to attend a full day of workplace training on professionalism.
Not the punishment I would call for, but I am not the one who makes those decisions.
One can only hope that it encourages Rebecca to stop trying to interfere with my life.
Thinking back to this weekend, I’m impressed by how well Ellie has played the part.
There is a need to show my appreciation for all that she has done—agreeing to fake date me and coming to the company weekend.
God, I can only imagine the shit Rebecca would’ve tried to pull if I was openly single.
Pulling out my phone to send her a text, I remember that I’m keeping my distance.
As I am helping Wes look over the same data set for a fifth time, I hear my phone buzz.
The desire to check it to see if it’s Ellie is strong, but I need to chat with Wes first. If I didn’t like him so much, this would be annoying, but at this point, I find it kind of endearing.
I don’t give him anything to work with, even though his attempts to hound me are valiant, so he goes back to Natalie’s desk and exchanges whispers, which leaves them both with frustrated expressions.
I finally check my phone to see a message from Ellie. It should not feel this good just seeing that she texted me, but it is nice to see her name.
Ellie: Can I bring you lunch to make up for the stupidity of last night?
I don’t know what her intentions are with reaching out, but I don’t want to feel like I did last night. The smartest thing I can do is to give her an out and see if she takes it.
Patrick: Ellie, you don’t have to. It’s not a big deal.
There we go. A simple and easy response. What I don’t expect is an immediate double text.
Ellie: Please let me? I feel really bad, and this is the only way to fix it.
Ellie: What if I sweeten the deal with a milkshake?
Damn, she knows my weak spot.
Patrick: Make it chocolate.
Ellie: I will do just that! Expect me around noon!
And just like that, I feel like an idiot smiling down at my phone. Natalie and Wes are already staring at me, but when they see I’m watching them, they immediately look away and pretend to be checking something on Natalie’s computer.
Fuck, I’m in too deep.
Ellie walks through the office with a large bag from a local burger place while she expertly balances two drinks in one hand.
God, she is pretty.
She is still wearing the same outfit from this morning, but now that she’s not behind a counter—and I’m not ten extra feet away like a coward—I can actually admire her.
Her tight black jeans hug her hips and ass perfectly, and she has a loose, gray t-shirt tucked into the front of them.
I love how effortlessly casual she looks with her hair pulled back into a low ponytail with her signature little pieces sticking out.
If I had things my way, I would close the door, lower the blinds, and see if she can stay quiet when I make her come.
The thought of Ellie bent over my desk with my hand over her mouth to muffle the moans immediately has me moving to readjust myself.
Fuck, she doesn’t even have to do anything, and it still turns me on—just her presence does it for me.
My mind continues to drift off to somewhere not appropriate for work, but I snap out of it when she sets the bag on my desk. “I thought an ‘apology’ burger would be something you're interested in?”
Her voice is sweet but timid, and I can tell that she feels bad about everything that happened yesterday. Just like that, every negative, anxious thought that was pulling me away from Ellie is gone.
“Only if there’s an ‘I’m sorry’ milkshake to accompany it like you promised?” I raise a curious eyebrow, and she places it in front of me.
“Of course, and our meal would not be complete without ‘I’m changing my phone password and never telling Nick again’ fries.” She pulls the fries out of the bag and starts setting up our lunch on my desk.
“Oo, I’ve never had those before. I hope they’re good.”
She laughs, and my chest aches with how much I missed her. It is not healthy how much of an impact Ellie has on me, but I can’t stop it from happening.
It is obvious that she is hungry, but she eats at a slow pace, savoring the deliciously sinful burger. We share the large container of ‘password’ fries, and I don’t even care that my office is going to smell like fryer grease for days.
While I take a couple ketchup packets and squeeze them onto my wrapper to dip my fries, she bites off the tiniest corner of the packet and squeezes it on each individual fry.
I find myself staring and wondering how ketchup usage can be so cute.
It’s completely irrational to obsess over her tiny motions, but she is something special.
As we sit here enjoying the meal together, Ellie is the one who breaks our silence.
“I shouldn’t have asked you to leave last night.” Her eyes don’t meet mine when she admits it, but I wish they would. If she just looked up, she could see how much her saying that means to me. “I wanted you to stay.”
I don’t know how I’m supposed to respond, but she is putting herself out there by showing her vulnerability.
It is not an apology for what happened. It is a statement.
I decide to be honest too, but not wanting to say something wrong, I go for the safe option.
Taking a deep breath, I keep my gaze on her. “I would’ve stayed if you asked me to.”
She keeps her eyes down, but her mouth turns up in the slightest smile. She goes back to eating her lunch, and the comforting silence is back.
I can’t explain exactly why, but it feels like everything is okay again.