2. Guys & Dolls
Guys & Dolls
Mark Jagger
My ex-wife never had an official diagnosis but I think she always knew something was wrong with her. Of course, everything with Rose when we’d started out was intense and I was convinced I’d never be in love with anyone else again. We got married quickly against the wishes of everyone in my family.
Then we had kids before I even knew what the hell was going on.
I never expected to be a dad but when Poppy and Preston came along, I knew that I had to be the best father ever for them.
I loved them more than I’d loved another living being and then it hit me…
Rose wasn’t the woman I wanted to mother my kids.
Her volatility and extreme tempers had been one thing when it was just the two of us.
Now that our kids were involved, she got worse and worse.
She’d leave the house and spend days out drinking.
I know she cheated on me. But when I caught her in the act, I knew I couldn’t pretend any longer.
I had to get out of there. The only problem was custody.
I fought a long hard battle and I lost. I got the kids a few days during the week and whenever my ex-wife decided she wanted to go on a three day bender and kids would just slow her down.
I looked at my watch. I was on time. Within thirty minutes, I’d drive over to Rose’s place, exchange curt pleasantries and then drive my kids to soccer practice.
Tuesday always used to be Candy’s night with me.
But the truth of the matter was, I was getting tired of taking care of all these women.
At first, it had been euphoric to explore no-strings-attachment to eager, willing and attractive women.
But now, I was starting to get tired. And my dolls were starting to settle down.
The only woman I saw with any regularity was Lola.
And Lola… Well, she was even more messed up about love than I was.
Bad break-up. That’s usually what does it.
Men and women don’t realize how much we fuck each other up.
I got dressed in a pair of dark wash denim jeans and a white v-neck shirt.
I combed back my dirty blonde hair and splashed a little cologne on my neck.
I loved the attention lavished on me by the soccer moms. Hell, if Lola tapped out of the game, maybe I could get one or two of them away from their husbands for the weekend.
Scratch that, if I wanted them, I could have them.
That’s how I’ve always been with women. Hell, that’s why Rose hunted me down.
I was a tasty treat and she sure swallowed me and spat me back up — except this time, I was broken for real.
After Rose, I never thought I’d get serious with another woman again.
And I knew I couldn’t. Rose would go crazy.
She always got information on me that I thought was private and she’d find out if I ever had a girlfriend and she’d ruin it.
I can’t blame the girls. Who would you believe?
A 6’3” arrogant sonuvabitch with a multi-million dollar a year medical practice who just oozed “douche bag” or a petite, weeping chick who swore that he’d ruined her life.
I’d pick her side too if I didn’t know any better.
So no love life. But a sex life? That’s where I had things mastered.
All the guys at the gym knew about my “dolls” as they called them and they wondered how the hell I’d convinced not one, but four beautiful and successful women to carry on no-strings-attached relationships with me.
Well that one’s easy: honesty. Most guys don’t like being up front with women. If they were more honest about what they wanted, maybe they’d find women who were interested in sex just like they were. Instead, they did what they thought they had to do: they lied. After Rose, I’d had enough liars.
I wanted my business out there on the table.
Shit. I checked my watch again and noticed I was running out of time.
I pulled the back of easy-peel mandarin oranges from the fridge and started to put together the snacks for the kids.
I could bring the worst treats in the world but I was the only dad who cared about the team, so the ladies (and the kids) loved my easy, healthy snacks.
I was a doctor after all, and I had a reputation to uphold that would turn to shit if I dared bring Oreos or cake.
I tossed the snacks in the back of my car and started heading towards Rose’s place.
Whenever I had to go to Rose’s house, my body tensed up and I had the worst drives ever.
This time, I was cut off by no fewer than three drivers.
All of them swore at me. Assholes. For my kids, I kept things respectful with Rose.
But I swear every time she saw me, she’d find a new way to try to get under my skin.
She would always push me just far enough and then pull back when she thought I was close to calling a lawyer or some cops.
Rose and I had history and none of it was good.
She’d ruined love for me. And she’d had my kids just so she could keep me coming back to her.
That’s the thing with babies, you don’t just “have” them.
It’s not a one time deal. You’ve got to take care of them.
So you’ve got to be careful who you get knocked up.
The last thing I want to do is make another mistake like I made with Rose. The last thing I want to do is go through all this mess all over again. That’s why I’m careful with all my women. Well, I guess it’s just Lola now.
I drove over to Rose’s place, my hands gripping the steering wheel nice and tight.
I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing Rose again.
But I couldn’t wait to see my kids. Preston and Poppy were in some new-fangled co-ed soccer group and I loved watching them run around and get some time away from their mother.
I know Rose tried to be a good mother to them, but with a few screws loose, I worried her impact might be more negative than positive.
When I arrived at Rose’s place, I took a few deep breaths in the car to prepare myself for seeing her again. I walked up to the front door and before I got close, I could hear Rose screaming and pots and pans crashing about.
I inhaled. When she was already like this, I knew she’d be difficult. I rang the doorbell and waited for her to emerge.
“COMING!” She shrieked.
I heard her stomping towards the door and she flung the door open with a scowl. Last night’s mascara ran down her face and she was wrapped in a hot pink bathrobe that almost flashed me her bosom. She held onto a cigarette that had about an inch of ash hanging from the tip.
“G’morning, the kids are late. Come in,” She grumbled.
I smiled bemused and followed Rose into her house. It looked like more of a mess than I last remembered. Crumbs were crushed into the floor, crayon markings covered the walls and there were clothes everywhere. Her carpets which had once been white were a gentle stained brown.
“Hope you’re doing well,” I told her curtly.
I knew that she’d know I was being a dick. Rose looked like she’d been run through a meat grinder. Her hair sat in a messy bun atop her head with strands sticking out every which way.
“I feel like shit,” She spat back.
“How much longer will the kids be?”
“Five minutes or I’ll make their little asses regret it,” She grumbled.
I shifted uncomfortably. I hated when Rose talked about our kids that way. She thought that because she managed to hold onto them, they were hers. But I had my own ideas about parenting and they didn’t include swearing at my kids.
“I’m sure they’ll be fine.”
I didn’t want to pick a fight with her today. She smelled too much like tobacco and sleeplessness.
“I need more money,” She snapped at me.
I turned to look at her in surprise.
“Oh?”
“You heard me,” She continued.
The ash from her cigarette added to the filth on the ground. She took a drag.
“Taking care of your damn kids isn’t cheap and I need $5,000 to get braces for Preston.”
“Didn’t the dentist say he didn’t need braces at the last visit?”
Uh oh. I could tell from the fiery look in Rose’s blue eyes that I’d set her off. Exactly what I’d been trying not to do.
“Don’t you fucking tell me how much it costs to raise kids,” She snapped.
“Easy,” I warned her.
She tossed her cigarette on the ground and outed it with her slipper. Rose took two steps too close to me and spoke, breathing her menthol breath into my face.
“You’re just a fucking deadbeat dad who left. And our kids will always know that you left. And you don’t even have the decency to give me the cash to care for them.”
I could feel my blood boiling but for the sake of our children (who were crashing around upstairs) I held back.
I grinned and answered, “I pay child support and more. I spend time with the kids. I’ll only give you $5,000 if a doctor calls me himself.”
Rose hawked up a wad of spit and hurled it at me. Luckily, it didn’t hit. But now I was really angry.
“What the hell Rose.”
“Fuck you Mark! Fuck you!” She screamed.
“Preston! Poppy! Daddy’s here, it’s time to go!”
“FUCK YOU!” She screamed.
Her face turned beet red and I started to wonder if Rose was more unhinged than I’d realized.
“YOU’LL NEVER TAKE THEM AWAY FROM ME.”
“Rose, calm down.”
Preston and Poppy began bounding down the stairs, avoiding eye contact with their mother. From the terrified looks on their faces, I could tell she’d been a handful all morning.
“If you try to take them from me,” She said with a trembling voice, “I will tell the cops you raped me.”
“ROSE!” I bellowed, “Our kids are right here! I’ve had enough of this! I swear to God if you talk like that in front of them one more time, I’ll call the lawyers myself.”