Chapter 9 #2
He looked back at me when we reached the top of the stairs. “Stop thinkin’ so damn hard.” I frowned at him, but he grabbed the bottom of his thermal and pulled it over his head. My eyes dropped to his chest, and he caught me looking. The corner of his mouth lifted. “Exactly.”
“Shut up,” I said, trying not to smile as he grabbed my hand again and led me through his bedroom to the bathroom.
Smoke turned the shower on before we undressed completely, then he pulled me under the water with him. He kissed me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck as his hands moved over my body. I knew we still needed to talk, but I wasn’t thinking about that while he had his hands on me.
He backed me against the shower wall and grabbed my ass, pulling me against him until I could feel how hard he was. I kissed him back, but when I opened my eyes, he was staring at me in a way that made me pull away. “What’s wrong?”
“Ain’t nothin’.”
I knew that was bullshit. Smoke kissed me again before I could ask another question, and I decided not to push him yet. He had already said he needed to talk to me, so eventually he was going to have to open his mouth and tell me what was wrong.
I reached between us and wrapped my hand around his dick.
He groaned into my mouth while I stroked him, but he only let me do it a few times before grabbing my wrist. He turned me around, and I put my hands against the wet tile as he moved behind me.
His chest pressed against my back while he kissed my shoulder and neck.
Smoke wrapped one arm around my waist and slid his other hand between my legs. My head dropped when his fingers found my clit. “Fuck.”
“I love you so fuckin’ much, Solace.” His mouth stayed against my neck while his fingers worked my clit faster.
“I love you too,” I moaned, reaching back for him.
He took a deep breath, and I felt it against my back.
Something about the way he had said it made me turn around.
I grabbed his face and kissed him, and his hands went straight to my ass before he lifted me.
I wrapped my legs around his waist as he pressed me against the wall.
The head of his dick pushed against me, and I held onto his shoulders as he started sliding inside.
“Ooohhh… shit,” I whimpered. Smoke looked right at me as he pushed deeper. His jaw tightened when I said his name, and I knew then that whatever was bothering him was still on his mind. I ran my thumb over his cheek. “Hey. You alright?”
“Yeah.”
I didn’t believe him, but then he started fucking me and made it hard to think about anything else.
Smoke held me against the wall and drove into me harder, gripping my ass while I held onto him.
I kissed his mouth, his jaw, and his neck, but every time I tried to pull back and look at him, he kissed me again.
I stopped trying to read his face and held on. My orgasm was already building, and when Smoke adjusted his grip and started hitting me deeper, I buried my face against his neck. My whole body tightened around him. “Oh, fuck. Babyyyy!”
Smoke’s breathing got heavier against my ear as he fucked me harder.
I came with my legs locked around his waist, holding onto him while my body shook.
He kept fucking me through it, gripping me so tight that I knew something was bothering him even if he kept saying he was fine.
Whatever it was, he was taking it out on me without saying a word.
His strokes got rougher before he finally came, groaning against my neck while he held me against the wall. He stayed there afterward with his arms around me, and I ran my fingers over the back of his neck while we caught our breath. I expected him to put me down, but he kept holding me.
“Smoke.”
“I gotchu.” He finally lowered me to my feet, but his hands stayed on my waist. I looked up at him, trying to figure out what the hell was going on, and he looked away.
We cleansed each other in silence before Smoke turned off the water.
We dried off, and he sat me on the counter long enough to put lotion on me before we went back into his bedroom.
I pulled on one of his T-shirts and Smoke put on a pair of basketball shorts.
The shower had relaxed my body, but my mind went right back to our unfinished conversation.
I sat on the edge of his bed while Smoke stood near the dresser brushing his waves. “Sooo, I have something to tell you.”
His hand stopped, and he looked at me through the mirror before turning around. “Me too.”
My stomach tightened. I had no idea what Smoke was about to tell me, but I had already made my decision about the promotion. I wanted the job, and I had come over there ready to tell him that I still wanted us too. I just needed to know what he had to say first.
“Okay. Well, you go first.”
Smoke came over and sat beside me, exhaling heavily. “Nah. You can go.”
“No.” I gave him a small smile. “Whatever you have to say is really weighing on you. I can tell. Just go.”
I gave him a small smile, but he didn’t smile back. That was when I knew that whatever this was, I wasn’t going to like it. Smoke leaned forward and rested his forearms against his thighs. His hands came together between his knees, and he stared at them for a few seconds.
“Babe.”
He looked at me then. “This chick Denisha came to see me today.”
I frowned. “Who’s Denisha?”
“Someone I was fuckin’ wit’ before you came back.”
My stomach dropped a little. “Okay…”
“She’s been out of town for work the last two months. She’s back and…” Smoke rubbed his palms together once. “She’s pregnant, Lacey.”
Everything inside me stopped as I stared at him. “What?”
“Almost two months.”
I stood up so fast I didn’t even think. My heart was beating so hard I could feel it in my throat. “Why… why are you telling me this shit?”
His jaw tightened. “‘Cause there’s a chance the baby’s mine.”
“You…” I actually laughed. It wasn’t because anything was funny. “You have a fucking baby on the way?”
“She don’t know if it’s mine.”
“But it could be.”
“Yeah.”
I walked away from him because suddenly the bedroom felt too small. My hands were shaking, and I folded my arms across my chest to hide it. “When’s the last time you slept with her?”
“Before she left.”
“When, Sherrod?”
“Almost two fuckin’ months ago, Solace.”
I turned around and could barely get my words out. “S-S-So you’ve just been out here fucking raw?”
Smoke’s face changed immediately. “Man, what the fuck? No.” His voice got louder as he stepped toward me. “I wrap my dick up every fuckin’ time, and I damn sure did wit’ Denisha.”
“Then how the fuck could she be pregnant by you?”
“Cause condoms ain’t a hunnid percent, Lacey.
Fuck you want me to tell you?” He dragged a hand over his beard, already getting pissed.
“I ain’t out here just stickin’ my dick in bitches raw and hopin’ for the best. I used a condom every time I fucked her, includin’ the last time, but the shit broke. ”
I stared at him, trying to make that fit with everything else he had just told me. “And she still thinks it could be yours.”
“‘Cause we fucked ‘round the time she left.” Smoke’s jaw tightened. “That’s it. She ain’t come to me sayin’ I’m the father. She told me there’s two possibilities and I’m one of them mahfuckas. ‘Til we can prove whose baby it is, I gotta deal wit’ the fact that it might be mine.”
“You were fucking somebody right before I came back.”
Smoke’s face changed. “Watch where you takin’ this shit, Lace. You was engaged. We talked ‘bout this shit.”
“I know I was engaged!”
“Then what the fuck you mad at me for?”
“I don’t know!” My voice cracked, and I hated it.
I wiped underneath my eyes before the first tear could fall, but another one came right behind it.
“I don’t fucking know, Smoke. Maybe because I’ve been sleeping in your bed, spending time with your family, and letting myself believe we could actually do this again, and now you’re telling me another woman might be having your fucking baby. ”
I turned away from him and pressed both hands against my face because I needed a second to get myself together. All I could think about was another woman being almost eight weeks pregnant and Smoke possibly being the father.
I hated how jealous that made me. I hated thinking about him having sex with her, and I really hated thinking about her carrying his baby.
I had just gotten him back. We hadn’t even had the chance to talk about marriage, kids, or any of the shit I had started imagining since Sunday, and now some woman he had been fucking before I came home might already be pregnant with his first child.
It wasn’t fair for me to be mad at him for that. I knew it wasn’t. I had been gone for eight years and had almost married another man, but knowing that didn’t make the thought of this Denisha woman having Smoke’s baby hurt any fucking less.
Smoke came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, but I immediately pushed his hands away and stepped out of his hold. “Stop that shit, Lace.”
“I don’t want you touching me right now.”
“I hear you, but stop fuckin’ pushin’ me away.” He reached for me again, and I moved before he could grab me. Smoke stared at me for a second, his jaw tight, before dropping his hands. “Ain’t none of this shit somethin’ I did to you.”
“I know that.”
“Then stop treatin’ me like I fucked you over.”
I wiped underneath my eyes and turned around to face him. I knew he hadn’t done anything wrong by having a life while I was gone, but knowing all of that wasn’t doing shit for how I felt. “What happens if it’s yours?”
Smoke looked at me like the answer should’ve been obvious. “I’ma take care of my child.”
I nodded even though fresh tears were already falling. “Of course.”
“Fuck that ‘posed to mean?”
“I don’t know if I can do this.”
Smoke went still. “Do what?”
“This.” I waved my hand between us because I couldn’t find better words fast enough. “Come back here and fall right back into this with you and then find out you might be having a baby with somebody else.”