64. Chapter 55
Dashiell
I don’t know how long I spend in a medicine-induced haze of sleep, but when I wake up, my mother’s hand is gripping mine hard enough to hurt. For one confusing moment, I think that I’m a kid again, sick in bed with a fever.
But then I hear the beeping of hospital machines, and the memories of the fire at Lo Scandalo come raging back.
I flinch.
“Oh, thank God.” Mom’s face hovers over me, blotchy with emotion and tears. “Dash, oh my God, thank God—”
“Mom,” I manage to say through a dry throat. “I’m okay.”
“Scared the hell out of us,” Dad says, appearing beside my mother. Slowly, I take in the rest of the room. I’m in a small, sterile hospital room, with windows dark from night. Mom and Dad are on one side of my bed. On the other, Grandma Novak and Kenny.
“Don’t ever do that again,” Dad continues.
“I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“Now, don’t get smart!” Grandma Novak snaps, but there’s no venom in her voice. Suddenly, she’s crying, too, which is honestly the most shocking thing I’ve seen in the last two weeks. Grandma Novak never cries. “You wonderful, reckless, stupid, brave boy!” she sobs.
“Grandma—”
Then Kenny swats my leg. “Stupid is right! You ran into the fire for Giovanni fucking Diamante! Should’ve let the guy roast!”
“Now, Kenny,” Mom says.
“What? I’m just saying! The guy’s on trial for murder!”
That gets my attention. “What? He is?”
Kenny nods. “They found enough evidence at Lo Scandalo to link him to all the other arsons from the past few months. Including killing his own father. Like I said, should’ve left him to get charbroiled in his own fire.”
I shake my head. “Not really in my job description to do that.”
“Eh. You’re a better man than me, I guess.” But then he smiles, shaking his head. “Fucking hell, Dash. You’re one badass motherfucker.”
“Kenny! Language!” My mom says.
And that’s what finally gets a laugh out of me, though laughing hurts.
“Easy,” Mom says, smoothing my hair gently. “You need to rest.”
A nurse leans into my room. “He sure does. Family time’s up. I’ve got to check his vitals and change out his IV.”
“Five more minutes!” Grandma pleads.
The nurse fixes her with a stern glare.
“Fine,” Grandma growls, then bends down and kisses my forehead. “None of us are leaving the building, got it?”
They all hug me as best as they can with me still in the bed, then file reluctantly out of the room.
The nurse has barely finished her ministrations before I slip back into sleep.
When I wake the next time, it’s my Station 27 family crowding the room—plus Mila Chaudhary.
“He’s awake!” Vinnie crows, jumping up from his seat. “The man, the myth, the motherfuckin’ legend!”
“Ugh, Vinnie,” I groan. “Do you have to be so loud?”
“Dude,” Charlie says, grinning at me from the end of the bed. “You’re famous. There’s a news van outside!”
“No, there’s not,” I plead, squeezing my eyes shut.
“Unfortunately, there is,” Nick says. He’s standing near the window, his arms crossed, his face wearing an expression of equal parts concern and pride.
“You did good, Dash. But that was also the most reckless thing I’ve ever heard of anyone doing in my crew.
And I once pulled my boyfriend out of a collapsed parking garage. ”
“Sorry, Captain,” I say, looking down.
“Shit. Don’t be sorry.” He comes to the bed and lays a hand on my shoulder. “I’m so fucking proud of you for what you did. Next time, though? Leave it to the crew that’s on duty.”
“Understood.”
Mila is sitting beside Vinnie, her head on his shoulder like she’s been napping. When our eyes meet, she gives me a broad smile. “You’ll be happy to know that no one died. Not a single person. You got them all out.”
“I heard Giovanni was arrested.”
“That’s right. No bail. The DA’s already filing.
Arson. Murder of his father. Attempted murder of Lorenzo.
Attempted murder of everyone else at Lo Scandalo that night.
The case is airtight. Between what came out during that fire, and everything we’d already built, there isn’t a defense attorney in the state who can make it go away. ”
I heave a sigh of relief, glad this mess is finally over. “Thank God.”
“Thank you,” Mila corrects. “It wouldn’t have happened without you. Giovanni isn’t talking, yet, but it looks like he’d been planning on immolating himself in that fire. He hasn’t said why—but he seems pretty broken after everything he did. You saved him so that real justice could happen.”
I wonder if any of them know that Lorenzo tried to kill him.
Lorenzo. Where is he? Has he been here? Is he also in the hospital, getting treated? Or has he also been arrested?
I have questions, many questions, but now isn’t the time to ask them. Vinnie fills the silence with stories until we’re all laughing and crying at the same time, until the nurse reappears and kicks them out, too.
Lorenzo is sitting in the chair beside my bed when I next wake up.
He looks absolutely wrecked. He’s been scrubbed clean of any soot, but there are faint burns on his face, bandages on his hands, and dark circles carved beneath his eyes.
“Hey,” he whispers.
I don’t answer.
“I need to tell you something,” he says, his voice low and hoarse. “Well, several things. You don’t need to say anything, all I ask is that you listen. If you don’t want to hear it, though, I’ll get up right now, I’ll leave, and you’ll never hear from me again.”
Slowly, I nod. “Say what you have to say.”
He sighs. “I didn’t mean anything that I said on that morning I ended things with you.
I thought that if I got you away from me, I could keep you safe.
I…I had gone to a dark place. I wanted Giovanni dead, and I didn’t want you to see me like that.
” His eyes shut, like he’s in pain. “I guess you saw me like that anyway. I’m sorry.
For hurting you, for endangering you. For everything.
I don’t expect you to forgive me, and I’m not asking you to. ”
“Is that what you came here to say?”
“Partly.” He takes a deep breath. “I also wanted to tell you that I’m turning myself in.”
I try to sit up, but my burns flare up with pain.
Lorenzo is at my side in an instant, gently guiding me back to my pillows. “Hey, hey,” he murmurs. “Careful.”
“You’re turning yourself in? What do you mean?”
He settles back into his chair. “I’ve done some terrible things, and so has my family.
Giovanni is going to prison…and so is my mother, as an accessory—she was in on it, too, apparently—but that doesn’t include everything else my family has done.
Someone has to pay for the sins of our past. It’s going to be me. ”
“Lorenzo…”
He shakes his head. “It’s the only way I can honor my father’s legacy, now. He wanted to build something legitimate, but I think he missed the fact that we couldn’t right these wrongs without confronting them first.”
I don’t know what to say. So I don’t say anything.
“That’s what I came here to tell you,” he murmurs.
“And…and to tell you something I should’ve said weeks ago.
I know that everything between us started as a protection agreement.
I know that I fucked things up by ending it the way that I did.
But I also know that, somewhere along the way, it became real for me.
And that scared me more than Giovanni did.
I’m sorry. I was a coward. If I had let myself, Dash, I know that I would’ve grown to love you. ”
The frank honesty with which he delivers the confession makes my mouth fall open in surprise. “You…you would’ve loved me?” I finally manage to say.
He nods. “Again, I’m so sorry for how everything ended. It was wrong, and it was my fault.” Slowly, carefully, he stands. “I’m going to the police station later today. I’ll ask if they can keep you out of it. I just wanted to say goodbye.”
There are tears in my eyes, as much as I wish that there weren’t, as much as I wish I could receive this news stoically. “Goodbye, Lorenzo,” I whisper.
He pauses at the door, looking like he wants to come and hold me one last time. Part of me wishes that he would.
But then he’s gone.
I lie there for a long time after the door clicks shut, staring at the ceiling, before finally letting myself weep.