Chapter 19
Fuck. My. Life.
My gaze scoured the grounds searching for the one girl I needed who wanted nothing to do with me.
“Is it true?” Kasey nipped on my heels like a yipping puppy. “Are you married?” Where the fuck did Kinsley go? The girl vanished like mist. “Smith!” Kasey grabbed my arm, stopping me.
“What?” I whirled on her, causing her to shuffle back in fright, my anger palpable. Not that I would touch a hair on her head. Men who beat were weak and pathetic. I knew firsthand. I would not hesitate to destroy any man who abused a woman or child to make himself feel bigger or better.
But it was in that instant the difference between Kasey and Kinsley shined like night and day. I knew Kins would stand her ground, tipping up her eyebrow, looking like she could bat me down like a fly. And she would.
Kasey was all bark and no bite. And I liked women who sank their teeth into my skin, matched me every step. Challenged me.
“Are you married?” Grief batted Kasey’s lashes. “And… and did you sleep with my little sister?” She balled up her hands.
“Yes and yes.”
Abhorrence and anger blazed across her face. “I can’t believe you. You are disgusting!”
“Really?” I stepped up to her, watching how fast her false indignation flipped.
Fear and excitement fluttered her lungs. “I thought we had something.”
Leaning over, my teeth gritted together. “We’ve never had anything, Kasey. I told you back then, and I nicely tried to tell you again since we used to be friends and I deeply care for your family. But I’m not going to be so nice now. I don’t want you. I never have. The only girl I want right now won’t have anything to do with me because I shredded any chance to be with her and stomped all over it since I couldn’t be honest. So please, for once, stop thinking of yourself. Your sister does nothing but put you first, even when you have no right.”
“She knew I wanted you,” she spat back. “But she slept with you anyway. Betrayed me.”
“Betrayed you?” I snorted derisively. “Are you that fucking selfish?” I shook my head. “There was nothing to betray you with. I’m not sure where you got this notion in your head about us, but it’s just that… in your head. You haven’t seen me in nine years. We don’t even know each other anymore, if we ever did. But even back then I knew we would never work out.”
“You never gave it a chance,” she whispered.
“Kasey. Stop. I’m sorry if at any time I gave you the wrong impression. But there is nothing between us. And right now I’m just trying to figure my way out of the mess I made, trying to deal with a soon-to-be ex-wife and the woman I lo—” My sentence died, terror cutting off my voice like a microphone.
A tsunami of panic and realization battered down on me. Oh, holy fuck.
“What?” Her mouth dropped in surprise, understanding the word I was about to declare.
“Nothing,” I grunted, swinging around, taking a few steps before I came to halt.
Kinsley walked out onto the patio, our eyes locking together.
It was the first time in my life a woman’s look made me want to cower. It wasn’t loathing or anger… It was void of anything. The calm resolve. Any chance I might have had was gone.
“Kinsley?” Panic I had never heard before sounded in my voice, and I had spent three years of my life fighting for survival, against gangs of men wanting to make me their new plaything.
My attention went to the figure who came from behind her, a malicious grin hinting on her face.
Shit. Becca. No doubt she had told Kinsley of my past.
“Kins…”
Her gaze shifted, like I was no longer there. She veered the opposite way, her shoulders rolled back.
Instinct had my feet moving for her, a desperation to make her understand. “Kinsley, listen to me.” I dove for her arm.
She swung around, anger so violent and firm, I could feel it slam against me like a force.
“I think it’s time you left,” she stated evenly.
“What?” I glanced to the side, seeing Kay, the woman I almost considered my other mother, watching us. “What did Becca say to you?”
“What you should have.” She raised her head to me, looking like a fierce queen. The moment I walked in, I felt her, tugging my attention toward her like a siren. Her beauty had almost knocked me over until I saw some guy touching her, and I wanted to knock him out. “Get out, Smith. This day is about Kyle and Amie, about being surrounded by friends and family. You are not that.”
“I have been part of your family since I was sixteen,” I fumed, stepping closer to her. She didn’t budge, her head tipping back. “Whatever she told you, let me explain.”
“You are too late for that.” Her palm pushed into my chest. “Now get out of here before I call security.”
“Security? What the hell, Kinsley? This is me. The guy you spent over a week with. Who plucked nettles out of your ass and held your hair back when you puked?” I could hear my voice rising. “Give me five minutes. That’s all I ask. Please.”
Her lashes batted, her head twisting to the side, agony engulfing her expression, cracking her barrier.
“Please,” I said to only her.
She swallowed, moisture dampening the corner of her eyes.
I touched her arm, jolting her body, snapping her head to me.
“Goodbye, Smith,” she said coldly. “Go back to your wife, finish building that dream house for your family.” She turned away, heading for her parents, leaving me gaping after her, feeling she had gutted my chest like a fish, my guts trailing behind her.
Kay took her daughter’s hand, her gaze snapping back to me, screaming with accusation and disappointment, cutting me at the knees.
“Smith?” Becca’s voice clawed at my ears like nails. “Sweetheart?”
I whipped around, stomping past her, doing the thing I should have done since the beginning.
I walked away from Kinsley Maxwell.