Chapter Twenty-Nine
Katey
I t had been six hours since I told Sniper the truth. He hadn’t come to bed, and I was more pissed off that I cared than I was that he hadn’t returned to our room.
It was almost funny when you thought about it. I’d been so scared of the nameless, faceless men that protected Ethan, too scared to even talk about them for fear it might conjure them up and bring danger to the Steel Demons’ doorstep. That was a worry or rather, a fear, for another day. Doing the right thing, it turned out, had cost me something I didn’t even realize I wanted to hang on to.
Sniper’s response or lack of one told me everything I needed to know. I guess I’d hoped he might come back to talk to me, but the more I thought about it, the more I understood why he hadn’t. By keeping quiet I’d put his club at risk. I was a liability, it was time to move on. It wasn’t fair to Sniper or Diesel or any of the women who’d been nothing but kind to me, to get caught in the middle of a fight that wasn’t theirs. No matter what Falcon or Peyton or Ellie had said, I wasn’t one of them.
This fight wasn’t theirs and the danger shouldn’t be either. The longer I stayed here, the greater the risk of me bringing trouble to their doorstep was.
It was the middle of the night and the clubhouse was completely silent. The music had long since stopped and it felt as if I had the place to myself even though I didn’t. It was time for me to do what I should have done from the beginning. I was an adult, alone in this world and that was exactly how I should’ve dealt with my problems.
On my own.
This wasn’t on the Steel Demons or Cal. I was the idiot who hadn’t listened to anyone—my brother or my friends—who’d seen in Ethan what I hadn’t been able to. I was the fool who thought my love could change him, not them. This trap I found myself in was of my own making and I wouldn’t let anyone else pay for my stupidity.
This was my debt to pay.
I packed up my meager belongings, a routine I knew well at this point, even though I wasn’t sure I’d ever need them again. If all went well, I’d need them and if it didn’t—well none of it would matter. I knew this was the right move. It was dangerous as hell, but I was the only one in danger now and that was how it should be.
I found some paper and a pen and quickly wrote a letter to my brother. This was the second goodbye letter I’d written to him, I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew one way or another I was unlikely to see him again. After folding the paper and stuffing it in an envelope, I got ready to leave.
I hadn’t intended on leaving a letter for Sniper—this was a marriage in name only. A marriage of convenience. Me leaving would probably be a relief for him. Whatever feelings I thought I felt towards him were caused by my hormones and too much pleasure. Nothing else. I liked him, of course I did, he was a likeable guy. And yeah, he wasn’t anything like Ethan beyond being in a motorcycle club, and I was grateful for that.
Sniper and his club brothers showed me that not every biker was like Ethan and his former bikers. Showed me that you could be angry with another person and not put them in physical danger. I learned a lot in my time here and for that, I would always be grateful to him. To all of them.
And I would show my gratitude by keeping them out of harm’s way.
He deserved an explanation, so I quickly scribbled a few lines, saying I was sorry and thanking him for looking after me. I placed that sheet of paper beside the letter for my brother and grabbed my bag.
I stood stock-still in front of the door, listening for any signs of movement on the other side. I wasn’t sure how things worked at night around the clubhouse. Were some of the guys awake to keep an eye on things? Or did the place shut down like a regular home?
Since I wasn’t going to get a direct answer, I had to risk it. Gripping the knob, I turned it as slowly as I could to avoid making a sound. Relief pulsed through me when the door opened silently. I poked my head out and looked right and then left. I tiptoed along the corridor, stopping every few seconds just to be sure nobody could hear me. It was all clear and I stepped out into the bar holding my breath until I was at the front door.
Locked.
Luckily, there was no alarm on the clubhouse bar door, and I pushed it open until the cool night air hit my skin. It was cold out, and I tugged down my sleeves, hitched my bags up on my shoulder, and I walked away. It took just a few blocks before my teeth started to chatter and a few more before the goosebumps felt permanent on my arms.
It didn’t matter, I kept going forward. I didn’t look back other than to make sure I wasn’t being followed. Anxiety ripped through me with every step, certain that at any moment I would be snatched off the street or worse, shot dead from a bullet I didn’t see coming. Each step I took felt like a victory and I felt more confident with every stride.
Steel City wasn’t exactly a big town, it didn’t need to be with Vegas just around the corner, so there wasn’t many businesses open. I grabbed a few snacks at an all-night gas station, shoving them in my bag and kept going until I spotted a block with hotels and motels on both sides of the street. I went from building to building until I found one, the second to last, who accepted cash, and I settled in the room.
Sleep refused to claim me though. I laid awake on the lumpy mattress and watched the blades of the ceiling fan as they whipped past over and over again. The sound was oddly soothing, but it did nothing to stop my racing mind telling me that this was a bad idea, a foolish mistake.
That certain death was imminent.
It was terrifying and by the time sun rose I knew I wouldn’t get any sleep, but still I laid in bed and watched the fan. It was peaceful but it was fleeting. Any moment now my life would be plunged back into chaos, so I decided to enjoy the peace while it lasted.