Chapter Thirty
Sniper
M y heart pounded in my throat the same as it had before every fucking mission I went on for Uncle Sam. I’d left it too long with Katey, but every time I walked past the room— our room—I chickened out and walked right on by. It was a cowardly move, and I was nobody’s definition of a coward, so it left me feeling ashamed and pissed off. I also had a hangover from hell which wasn’t helping with my mood.
“Can’t put it off any longer, man.” Maverick stood beside me wearing a sympathetic smile. “It’s been too fucking long. Grace said she didn’t come down for dinner last night and when she brought up a tray with breakfast this morning it was untouched.”
That one statement alone showed just how thoroughly she’d become one of us. The old ladies were worried about her too. “She’s upset, she just needs some time to herself,” I said, more to assure myself than as an explanation to Maverick.
“Grace is worried. She knows what it’s like to be in a relationship with an abusive man. You getting angry—even if it was at the situation she told you about and not her, was probably triggering as hell.” It was clear that Maverick wouldn’t let this go until I found my courage and went inside.
“Fine,” I muttered and pulled out the key, slowly sliding it into the lock and turning until the latch clicked.
“Good man.” Maverick clapped my back and walked away, confident he’d gotten me over the hurdle that had me stuck in place.
Good man. I always thought I was a good man, but I had to rethink that over the past few hours. My treatment of Katey a glaring proof that I’d failed her in a big way. I knew it, and now I was prepared to make it right however I could.
I pushed the door and swallowed, ready to meet her searing gaze. Her look of disappointment. Disgust. Anger. Whatever it was, I prepared myself for it. The thing I wasn’t prepared for was… nothing.
“Katey?” I called out, but it was one fucking room with a bathroom and the bathroom door was wide open. She wasn’t in there, but I checked anyway. I scoured every inch of the room, under the bed and the desk, anywhere that was large enough for her to fit, but she wasn’t there. She wasn’t any-fucking-where. “Katey!”
A second sweep of the room revealed that it wasn’t just Katey that was missing, but also her belongings. The duffel bag and backpack she’d arrived with were also gone. Her toothpaste and moisturizer weren’t sitting on the edge of the sink. She’d left her bodywash behind but that was probably just an oversight. Everything else was gone.
Where the fuck is she?
“Katey,” I called out again, my voice more frantic. I felt like one of those emotional people who knew the truth but refused to see it. Katey was gone and I knew it, but I called out to her anyway, desperate to believe she hadn’t gone away. That it wasn’t my fault. “Goddammit Katey!”
I spun around the room as if that would make her appear. It didn’t, but then I spotted an envelope on the corner of the desk. I walked back hesitantly, cautiously, as if it might attack if I got too close. And it felt like a fucking attack when I saw Cal’s name scrawled on top. I knew exactly what it was.
A goodbye letter.
Another goodbye letter anyway. The writing was different this time, more sure than shaky and I knew she’d left. There was a folded piece of paper beside it with my name on, I quickly unfolded the scrap and read.
I’m sorry, I can’t put you all in danger. I have to go.
Thank you for everything,
Katey
“Shit.” I dropped the letter like it burned and took a step back. And then another and another.
I left the room and headed to the bar where I found plenty of my brothers gathered. “Katey is gone.” It only took seconds before a hush fell over the room. Even Chopper’s grunted breathing seemed to quiet down. “She’s gone.”
Peyton got to her feet. “What do you mean she’s gone? How in the hell did she leave without anyone noticing and when did she leave?” She looked around the room, accusation swam in her eyes. “Well?”
“I didn’t check on her last night. We had an argument, I ended up getting drunk and crashing in T-Bone’s room,” I admitted with an uneasy sigh. “I was pissed, and I didn’t handle it well.” I knew she felt guilty and still I didn’t bother to check on her, to let her know that I was angry, but didn’t blame her. “Fuck!”
“I’ll try and track her phone,” Slate said.
Diesel stood and wiped his hands on his pants with a heavy sigh. “We’ll head out and try to find her. Two man teams, let’s scour this fucking city.” The determined expression on Diesel’s face gave me hope that we could find her before Ethan did.
***
We searched the city for hours, checking alleys, dumpsters, abandoned houses, flop houses, dope dens, and everywhere in between. She wasn’t anywhere expected, which either meant that Ethan had already gotten to her, or she was deep in hiding. “This isn’t fucking working,” I growled to Rebel, feeling my anger bubble up.
“It’s been five goddamn hours, relax. Besides, you wanted her gone, didn’t you?”
“What the fuck did you just say?” My heart banged inside my chest at his words, so casually fucking flippant.
“You heard me,” he challenged. “You’ve done nothing but complain since you agreed to help her, and you were so furious when she finally told you what she was holding back.” His eyes held a hint of mischief that begged me to punch him.
“I had every right to be pissed!”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “You did. But you forgot that she wasn’t just your wife, but a fragile fucking woman in need of protection. From an angry, abusive asshole.”
I snorted. “Don’t take it easy on me, Rebel. Please.”
“I won’t.” He grinned and lightly punched my shoulder. “You fuckers are all alike. Protect a woman, fall for her, and then act completely oblivious to the fact that you’ve fallen.” He snorted in disgust and shook his head.
“What the fuck are you talkin’ about?” The words shot out of me on an angry growl. “I haven’t fallen for shit.”
“True,” he laughed. “You fell for a woman. At least shit is easy to get rid of.”
“The fuck I have!” I liked Katey and I respected her strength despite all she’d been through, but love? “I don’t do love.”
“Neither did Diesel or Rocky, Gio, Hawk, or Maverick. Look at those whipped fuckers now.” He snickered to himself.
“I think you forgot the part where this is all fake.” I fisted my hands at my side and glared at my so-called friend.
“You mean how Gio was fake dating your sister and now they’re shacking up together and planning to get hitched?” He shook his head as we made our way back to our bikes. “Look man, I’m not here to shame you for falling for Katey. She’s easy on the eyes, smart as hell, and she’s good in a crisis. You could do worse.”
“But?”
“But you’re only lying to yourself and if we don’t find her in time,” he let out a low whistle. “You won’t ever be able to forgive yourself.”
“Well fuck.” I already carried the weight of many dead brothers and sisters in arms, adding another, a woman and a civilian? That might wreck me.
“It’s all right, you don’t have to tell me just don’t lie to yourself.” He jumped on his bike and started it up. “Let’s get back to the clubhouse.”
“Get back? We haven’t found Katey yet.” It was my fault that she was gone. If something happened to her, I would never forgive myself. Neither would Cal, how was I gonna explain that to him? “Shit.”
As soon as we arrived at the clubhouse, I made a beeline for Slate. “Have you found anything?”
He shook his head, an apologetic expression written on his face. “She used her phone twice today at two different convenience stores, one in Steel City one in Vegas.” His shoulders sagged with disappointment. “She used the phone and turned it off so there’s no other data to track.”
“What about credit cards,” Hawk asked.
Slate shook his head. “Nope. No use on them since an ATM withdrawal months ago. In California.”
That wasn’t surprising. “She’s been living on the run for more than a year, she knows how to stay off the digital grid.” She was used to running so that was no shock. The most surprising part was that she was still in the area. Hopefully.
Guilt turned my stomach to acid. This was all my fault. I reacted like an overheated dickhead and in response, she ran away. Again. It never occurred to me that she would leave and now that she was gone, my mind wouldn’t stop thinking about the worst. “I gave him the fucking perfect chance.” I shook my head. “He’s been watching and waiting for the perfect moment to strike, and I sent her running out into the world alone and without protection.”
“You fucked up,” Rocky agreed. “But beating yourself up about it right now ain’t exactly gonna help us find Katey, is it?”
“No,” I answered, still sulking.
“Then put that shit on the backburner so we can focus on finding your woman.”
I could do that. Compartmentalizing was my specialty. It was the only way to focus on a mission. You couldn’t think clearly if you thought too hard about what a kidnapped soldier was going through. Emotions clouded things so the best thing I could do for Katey right now was to focus on finding her.
Whether she hated me or not.