Chapter 33 #2
Jamie held his nerve. Of course he was fashing himself.
His father had spoken as if he were an old biddy telling a child not to worry about missing out on second helpings of pudding.
Jamie stared into his soup. How could he be hungry at a time like this?
But he gave the impression of enjoying his starter whilst listening to his siblings chattering away.
As soon as the plates were empty, however, he got up and cleared them from the table.
In the kitchen, to calm himself, Jamie loaded the dishwasher. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t settle him at all. He laid his palms flat on the kitchen counter, lowered his head and concentrated on steadying his breath.
‘Hey, J, you okay?’ It was Cal. Steady, grounded Cal who knew when his brother was not alright.
Jamie released himself from his stretch. ‘Honestly, no. I have to fix this, but he’s done this today precisely so I can’t. And I know it’s because he doesn’t want me to have to worry about my future, but I could actually… No, I couldn’t because he’s dying. But fuck!’
‘I know.’ Cal rested his hands on Jamie’s shoulders and faced him. ‘I know. We all love him and we have to remember how much Butler’s means to him. And it’s coming from a well-intentioned place. But it’s stressful.’
‘Aye, it is,’ Jamie rubbed the back of his neck. ‘Do you think Mum would mind if I went for a long walk? Don’t answer that, of course she would.’
Cal smiled wryly at his brother’s humour.
‘The best you can do is stall him by getting him to have such a good time he forgets the papers for today. Let’s face it, he’ll want to peruse them at least twice more before he signs, so maybe if he enjoys Christmas, he’ll be too tired and leave it for another day.
After all, it’s not like Mr Baron, or whoever, will be sitting at his computer waiting for the papers to come through today. ’
Jamie managed a laugh at this. ‘Mr Baron probably is doing exactly that. Rubbing his knees with glee and putting the eggnog on ice waiting for BDL to fall into his lap.’
‘I would suggest coming back through and not giving Dad any clue to how you’re feeling,’ Cal said. ‘That will only remind him of the deal. If we can all be as jolly as possible, he’ll have fun instead of thinking business. Hard as that is to believe, it does happen sometimes.’
Cal was right. Having someone objective to point the way helped, and his wise older brother was often the one to do so, even if it was on the other end of the phone from Edinburgh.
The conversation topics flitted around the Christmas lunch table like hyperactive fireflies.
Jamie was glad of the company of his siblings to fill a little of the emptiness inside him.
Besides the business trouble, he was exhausted from the travel to and from LA in such a short space of time, from failing to even get a chance to talk to Alicia.
How presumptuous he had been to assume that he would find her and she would agree to fly back to Scotland with him, to do the artwork for the bottles and join in Christmas celebrations with his family.
Jamie accepted his arrogance. Even if he had found her and she’d been willing to talk, to assume that Alicia would drop everything to fulfil his fantasies was putting the cart a million miles before the horse.
‘Earth to Jamie!’
‘What?’
‘Do you want to pull this cracker with me? I’ve been shoving it in your face for about ten minutes.’
‘Ten minutes might be a bit of an exaggeration, but sure.’ Jamie took the end of the cracker Cara was holding and tugged. The bang made him jump a little.
‘Here, get this on your nut.’ Cara fitted a red paper crown to Jamie’s head. ‘Make you look a bit more perky.’
‘I’m perky, Car.’
‘You might be fooling all of them, but you’re not fooling me.’
Jamie regarded his sister warmly. For all her nosiness, Cara was surprisingly insightful when it came to human behaviour. He guessed that was what made her such a good actress.
‘Well, I’ll wear this hat and look a bit more upbeat, shall I?’
‘Yes, and have another glass of red and tell your sister all about it.’ Cara topped up Jamie’s wine glass with a rich red merlot.
The dinner table wasn’t the place, but he should talk to someone.
Cara was a good listener, and she did know when to exercise discretion.
Becoming more of a household name was teaching her that.
But this was Christmas Day. Talking about his woes would only remind him of them.
‘Maybe later, Car. Now’s not the time.’
‘Well, in the meantime, I have some news for you.’
‘Oh, right.’
‘It’s about Katie.’
At that moment, the doorbell rang.
‘I’ll get it.’ Jamie jumped up, taking the opportunity to avoid the gossip.
Whatever it was, he could bypass it. He made his way to the front door, wondering who could be visiting them on Christmas Day.
The Butlers were well-known in Kinshore, but they rarely had unexpected guests on December 25th.
Jamie opened the door, thinking how amazing it would be if Alicia were to appear
But it was Katie, wrapped in a winter coat, scarf and hat. On her feet were fur lined boots, but she was shivering and pale. And visibly pregnant.
‘Katie? What’s going on? Are you okay?’
Katie, mouth clamped shut, shook her head, before her voice as wobbly as the trifle Amanda Butler had prepared earlier burst out. ‘I’m… Not really. I’ve left Frank.’
‘You’ve what? Why?’ This had to be good news for Katie, and news which, one month ago, Jamie would have welcomed for himself. But now, it left him merely confused. And why was Katie coming here to tell him – on Christmas Day?
‘Something flipped in me this morning when he was trying to get me to not spend Christmas with my family.’ Katie choked up. ‘Could I come in for a moment? It’s freezing out here.’
‘Of course. Sorry.’ Jamie ushered Katie into the hall.
‘Nice hat,’ she said, and he realised he was still wearing the paper crown from Cara’s cracker. He yanked it from his head. ‘Not really my colour.’
‘On the contrary. I always thought red suited you.’
Jamie stalled. Why did it feel like Katie was flirting with him? Or at the very least, giving him a compliment in a way she hadn’t done in years. It made him uneasy.
‘So, what’s the story?’ He didn’t want to bring Katie any further into the house than necessary. Of course, he cared that she was okay and wouldn’t leave a pregnant woman out in the cold, but spending Christmas with the ex who cheated on him was not preferable to spending it with his own family.
‘He’s a piece of work,’ Katie blurted out.
‘No shit!’ Jamie hadn’t meant to sound so harsh, but surely he was allowed a little bit of ‘I told you so’.
‘I know, I know. Everybody knows.’ Katie started to cry, and Jamie flailed around for a tissue.
He shoved the paper crown in his pocket before he was tempted to offer it as the next best thing.
‘I’m scared, Jamie,’ Katie continued. ‘I’m scared about the future.
I can’t afford to rent the new place on my own and there are people moving into the cottage in January.
What am I meant to do? I don’t want to be homeless and pregnant, and Frank said I could forget about maintenance. ’
A light flicked on in Jamie’s brain. Oh, so this is about the cottage. Of course it is. This could be his chance to get his own back. To tell Katie there was nothing he could do about it now. But revenge wasn’t the fuel that drove Jamie. It never had been and never would be.
‘Look, Katie,’ he said. ‘Don’t worry about the cottage. Just change the locks and stay there, for now.’
‘But it’s your cottage, Jamie. I mean… After everything.’
Jamie sighed. ‘It’s fine. If you’ve seen the light, then that’s enough for me. There’s a baby on the way, so concentrate on that. We can sort out long-term plans in the new year. Go and be with your family today.’
‘Really?’ Katie’s whole body softened. ‘Oh, Jamie, you’ve no idea how much of a relief that is to me.
Thank you.’ Her face lost its deathly pallor and a weight lifted off Jamie.
No matter what had passed, he had known Katie a long time, cared about her and didn’t want her to be upset, especially not as she was pregnant. And now facing motherhood alone.
‘You just worry about you and the baby.’ He reminded her again.
Katie nodded and glowed with gratitude through her tears, which were now tears of joy.
As much as was possible in her situation.
‘I’ll leave you to get on with your Christmas Day,’ she said.
‘And I truly am sorry, J. I’m sorry about how much rubbish I let him talk about you.
And about that evening at the bookshop.’
‘It’s okay. I’ll never understand what you saw in him but it’s not your place to apologise for his amateur dramatics at the bookshop.’
‘Maybe, but I am sorry, especially if it affected your relationship with that woman.’
‘Alicia,’ said Jamie. ‘Everyone knows who she is. Come on, I’ll walk you to your car.’ He and Katie trod the short distance to the area where several vehicles, including her own, were parked.
‘I’m sorry for butting into your Christmas,’ she said as they stood at the door of her car. ‘It’s rude of me, but I panicked.’
‘Don’t worry about it.’ Jamie rubbed his arms. It was bitterly cold today, even by his standards.
‘It gave me a chance to get away from Cara’s interrogation, although God knows what I’m getting when I go back in.
She’ll be peering out the window marking the coordinates you were standing at and trying to find a hidden meaning in it. ’
Katie’s laughter was like weak tea. ‘Ah, I miss Cara. Although not the endless quest for detail.’
‘I’ll tell her you came over to borrow some napkins,’ Jamie joked.
‘Good plan. Thanks again, J.’ Katie opened her arms to hug Jamie. It was more affection than they had in the latter stages of their relationship, but that wasn’t the point. He wrapped his arms around her, hugged her back and hoped she would be okay.