Chapter 34
Alicia
Exhaustion was pulling Alicia down like a stone in water, but she had nearly reached Kinshore.
Thank goodness she’d caught some sleep on the plane.
Without it, the drive would have been impossible.
Luckily, it being Christmas Day, the roads were quiet, and the journey almost enjoyable with Christmas songs on the radio and spectacular, snow-dusted mountains rising up on either side of the road.
Was one of them Ben Corrin? If Jamie were here, he could tell her.
He could pick that mountain out of a thousand-mountain line-up.
Alicia hoped this mission wouldn’t be a disastrous one. Jamie had been hunting for her less than forty eight hours ago. Surely he would still want to see her. What could have changed in that time?
The sign welcoming Alicia to Kinshore appeared at the side of the road and goosebumps pricked her arms and legs.
Those had been missing when she’d flown back into LAX.
Her body was telling her that arriving in Kinshore was like coming home, back to a place she belonged.
How strange after spending only a short time here.
As she drove into the village, Alicia realised she had no idea where Jamie would be on Christmas Day.
He might be at his own house, but it was more likely he'd be at his parents', as he said he always spent Christmas there.
Knowing they lived on the distillery grounds, she followed the signposts. At least that part was easy.
Alicia’s heart cartwheeled in her chest when she saw the sign for Butler’s Distillery. Snow piled high on the two pillars at the entrance, marking the private road to the house. The wide, long driveway, flanked by woodland, was draped in fresh white snow creating an inviting winter scene.
Finally, a fork appeared in the drive, one direction leading to the distillery and the other to the main house.
The private property sign at the road to the Butler home made Alicia consider turning back.
Jamie might be annoyed at her for crashing his family Christmas, or tell her that he’d decided she was right, that they wouldn’t work, and then she would have to find a hotel to stay at, and where would she find one of those on Christmas Day in this part of the country?
But she had to take the risk. Foot, gas, engage.
Driving up to the house, a huge and impressive stone building with snow-dappled ivy trailing across the doorway and enchanting fairy lights sparkling in the gleaming windows, a sense of belonging swaddled Alicia, although her nerves still hammered their nails in.
There were several cars parked out front which meant lots of Jamie’s family that she hadn’t met.
Then she saw something else that made her foot hit the brake.
Jamie was standing by one of those cars. Hugging a woman.
A freeway pile up happened in Alicia’s mind as her thoughts careered through the barriers of rationality she had carefully constructed.
She fixed her stare on the scene in front of her.
It’s a friend. It’s not a friend. They are so close.
Why is she here? Is she leaving. She could be arriving.
If she were more than a friend, they’d be kissing, not hugging.
Is she pregnant? She looks pregnant. Is that Katie?
Yes. Oh God! He’s back together with Katie.
Alicia put her hands flat on the dashboard and inhaled. ‘Be sensible,’ she said. ‘Remember his voice note.’
But then Alicia watched Jamie do something that she found impossible to justify. He raised his thumb to Katie’s face and made a light sweeping motion across her cheek as if wiping away a tear.
‘Jesus!’ She leaned forward in her seat and accidentally slid her elbow onto the horn. A sharp honk sliced through the winter stillness.
‘Fuck!’ Alicia slid down in her seat so she wouldn’t be visible to Jamie and Katie. But peeking over the dashboard she could see them looking in her direction. Damn! It would be impossible to get out of this. The only option was to reverse up the drive and that would look farcical.
Alicia gaped as Katie rubbed his arm, opened her car door and climbed into the driver’s seat.
He waved as she drove off. As Katie drove by Alicia’s car, Alicia turned the other way.
Then when she turned back, who was standing at the passenger window of the car, but Jamie. Beautiful, baffled Jamie Butler.
Jamie rubbed his eyes and blinked hard? Was Alicia back in Kinshore, in his parents’ driveway on Christmas Day? It would appear to be the case. He motioned for her to wind the window down.
‘Alicia?’
‘Jamie.’
‘What are you doing here? This is…’ He wanted to say amazing. This was a dream come true. But it was also confounding.
‘Not what you were expecting?’ she suggested.
‘Well, no, but definitely in a good way. I think. I am, admittedly, a little confused.’
‘Confused about Katie?’
Jamie’s eyes widened. ‘No! That was not anything.’ Shit, She saw me wiping away a tear from Katie’s face. Why did I do that? As soon as his hand had shot to her face, he thought better of it. And now he was really regretting it. Alicia appeared unconvinced.
‘Are you sure I didn’t interrupt something?’
‘You definitely did not,’ Jamie leant into the car. ‘Come inside and I’ll explain.’
Alicia said nothing.
Jamie was freezing cold. His jumper was in the house and for the past ten minutes, he’d been standing outside in zero degrees Celsius in only jeans and a shirt.
He moved back out of the car and took a chance on the passenger door.
It opened, and he climbed in. But as soon as he did, the smell of frangipani assaulted him, and he wondered if he’d be able to conduct a sentient conversation.
‘Jamie!’
‘Sorry, but it’s bloody freezing, even for me. If you drive down there and park we can talk, or even better, come inside.’
Alicia didn’t move the car. Or her mouth to talk. What was going on?
‘Alicia, please. You’ve come here for a reason. And two days ago I was in LA looking for you.’
‘I know. That’s why I’m here.’
‘It is? You got my message?’
‘I did.’
‘Great! We’re on the same page then?’
‘I thought we were. I’m just…processing. Look, why don’t I find a guest house in the village. We can talk tomorrow.’
At this ridiculous suggestion, Jamie spoke with authority.
‘Alicia! You are not staying at a guest house in the village. I know what you think you saw, but it was not that, and if you drive away now, after travelling halfway across the world, then you’re cheating yourself.
’ It was risky talking to Alicia like this but saying nothing was a risk too.
‘What if you’re the one cheating yourself? When you flew to LA and left that voice note that I had got things wrong, but now—’
‘Everything on that voice note was true,’ Jamie cut in.
‘I poured my heart out, in front of some random stranger – who was wearing an awful suit, I might add. What you saw’ — Jamie cringed at the memory —‘me wiping away a tear, was nothing. I think for a second I thought I was Clark Gable or something. Katie’s upset because she and Frank have split and she was worried she’d be homeless and pregnant.
Possibly it was force of habit – but it means nothing, Leesh, please know that. ’
Alicia searched Jamie’s face. ‘Okay,’ she said, with uncertain conviction.
‘I’m not blowing this again,’ Jamie added.
‘I refuse. Will you come inside and let’s talk?
’ He reached for her hand and shivered at how cold it was.
‘Jesus, you’re freezing. Come on. Park the car or I will come round there and scoop you up and take you inside, and you remember what happened last time I scooped you up? ’
A small smile crept onto Alicia’s lips. She remembered. But still she asked, ‘Are you sure?’
‘Okay, you know what: My words are not enough to convince you, so why don’t you drive the car down there.
’ Jamie motioned to the wide mouth of the driveway in front of the house.
‘Then turn and drive back into town. I want to show you some things that might make you believe me. I’d do the driving, but I’ve had a glass of wine. ’
Alicia examined Jamie for a moment, as if for evidence he was serious. Then, when she saw he was, she turned on the ignition and did as he asked.