Chapter Twenty-Four
‘Hola,’ said Marco, taking off his coat and sliding into the booth opposite Lucy.
He looked nervous, which was no great surprise considering a) Lucy had been turning down his offers to hook up for several weeks, and b) they had never eaten a meal together beyond occasional re-fuelling snacks in bed.
Early on in their relationship Lucy had declared she was starving and he’d unearthed a mini Soreen bar from a pouch on the back of his bike.
She’d devoured it in two bites, and since then he’d invariably bring her one every time he came over.
Post-sex Soreen, thought Lucy. The ad campaign they never knew they needed.
‘You OK?’ he asked, looking around the restaurant. It was Japanese, one of her favourite places that served great food and good wine with lots of quiet corners with overstuffed chairs in green and mustard and red.
‘Yeah,’ said Lucy. ‘I’m fine. Sorry for all the intrigue; we’re just waiting for someone else, and then I’ll tell you what this is all about.’
‘Who?’ asked Marco, with a playful smile.
He probably thought this was a precursor to a threesome, which they’d done once before.
A female yoga teacher friend of his, who was undeniably hot and bendy and extremely open to getting naked in Lucy’s flat.
It had been fun as a change of scenery, and not the first time Lucy had been with a woman, but the whole experience had felt a bit like rearranging furniture into different configurations.
To his credit, Marco had never suggested they do it again, but presumably Lucy wasn’t his only sexual partner so maybe he didn’t need to.
‘A friend,’ said Lucy enigmatically, as the door opened to admit Anthony in a gust of cold air.
He handed his coat to the waitress and smiled broadly at Lucy, clocking Marco and raising his eyebrows.
He and Lucy had never had a threesome, but if they did, this scenario would be very much his bisexual jam.
‘Hey,’ he said, sliding into the booth next to Marco. He turned and shamelessly checked out Marco, clearly liking what he saw.
‘Thanks for coming,’ said Lucy to both of them.
‘Is this a proposition, or something?’ asked Marco. ‘Because I really—’
‘No,’ said Lucy. ‘It definitely isn’t. Let’s get some food, and I’ll tell you both everything.’
‘Fair enough,’ said Anthony. They all perused the menu, Lucy making her usual choice of sushi rolls with a side order of edamame beans and a glass of Picpoul.
It was only a few minutes’ walk from the LUNA office, but since it was Saturday she didn’t expect to see any of her colleagues here.
Clifton village was a great part of Bristol to work in, but nobody on a LUNA salary could afford to live there.
‘Are you going to tell us what this is about?’ asked Anthony, once the waiter had taken their orders and topped up their water glasses.
‘Sure,’ said Lucy, clearing her throat. ‘I’ve been seeing both of you for the past eighteen months or so,’ she said, folding her arms on the table. ‘You knew about each other, but obviously you’ve never met.’
‘Ah, OK,’ said Marco, the penny dropping. ‘You never told me what he looked like.’
‘Same,’ said Anthony, holding out his hand. ‘I’m Anthony. Nice to meet you, mate.’
‘Marco.’ They shook hands like they’d just met in a bar, presumably feeling an instant bond over screwing the same woman on different nights of the week.
Lucy had been worried that this would turn out to be some kind of alpha-male stand-off, but perhaps she was flattering herself.
They both looked pretty relaxed in each other’s company right now.
‘Spanish, right?’ asked Anthony, and Marco nodded. ‘Which part?’
‘Pamplona,’ said Marco. ‘But I lived in Barcelona for a long time. And I have been in Bristol now for—’
‘Sorry, can we do this later?’ Lucy interrupted.
‘Yeah, sorry,’ said Anthony. ‘Are you after a threesome?’ He looked Marco up and down and grinned. ‘Because I would be totally up for that, just to be clear.’
‘That is very kind, but sadly I am very much women only,’ said Marco. He looked genuinely apologetic, which Lucy thought was rather sweet.
‘Then what’s this all about?’ asked Anthony.
‘I’m breaking up with both of you,’ said Lucy.
‘At once?’ asked Marco, his eyes wide.
‘Yes,’ said Lucy.
‘And you decided to buy us lunch to break the news?’ said Anthony teasingly. ‘Gutted as I am, babe, this meeting could have been an email.’
‘No, this is nice,’ said Marco with a grin. ‘Respectful, you know?’ This was Lucy’s other worry, that they’d gang up on her and take the piss. Honestly, men were so predictable.
‘This isn’t me being dramatic,’ said Lucy. ‘I wanted to ask you both something, and I need you to be honest.’
‘OK,’ said Anthony, looking less confident now.
They hadn’t seen each other in the two weeks since Lee and Zoe’s wedding, and what Anthony didn’t know was that she hadn’t seen Marco either.
The past few weeks since she’d got back from Zermatt had been a sexual wasteland while she worked her thoughts and feelings through, and she needed the help of these men to get her to the next stage.
‘I’ve never had a proper relationship,’ said Lucy. ‘I mean, I had boyfriends at school, obviously, but not as an adult.’
‘What, never?’ asked Marco. ‘Aren’t you, like, thirty-three?’
‘In June,’ said Lucy. Or already, if you count my fake birthday.
‘You went to uni, though, right?’ asked Anthony. ‘You must have dated some posh boys.’
‘No,’ said Lucy, a sick feeling rising in her throat.
University had been about finding her feet, reinventing herself as an edgy metropolitan millennial who would one day be a celebrated and badass feminist writer.
The question ‘Where are you from?’ was answered with ‘South London’ or occasionally ‘Surrey’, but never ‘Croydon’.
Casual sex had felt like a declaration of independence and a source of power, but proper boyfriends were for losers.
After Leo died she’d been a barely visible wisp, a half-person, a subject of pitying head-tilts and gentle pats, like an abandoned dog who’d lost a leg.
She’d buried herself in the library for months, studying for her finals and trying to patch her broken heart with the timeless words of strangers, so she didn’t have to face up to her own story.
Having fun would have been stealing unwritten chapters from Leo; a betrayal of the only person who’d loved her unconditionally.
‘So what is this all about?’ asked Marco.
‘I want you to tell me what you think of me,’ said Lucy, holding her head up. ‘What kind of person I am, from your perspective.’
‘Why?’ asked Anthony, looking confused. ‘With respect, what does it matter what we think?’
‘Because sometimes I feel like I come across as cold,’ said Lucy. ‘And I’ve decided I want to have normal relationships and fall in love, at some point in the future. But I’m not sure I’m very loveable.’
‘Babe, I fell in love with you ages ago,’ said Anthony with a soft smile, as Marco nodded.
‘You’re, like, ridiculously hot, obviously.
But you’re also funny and smart and really cool to hang out with.
If I thought I’d have even the smallest chance of being worthy, I’d have totally suggested we date like normal people. ’
‘The same,’ said Marco. ‘You are my dream woman – after Jennifer Lopez.’
‘Isn’t Jennifer Lopez, like, fifty-five?’ asked Anthony.
‘Yes,’ said Marco. ‘But she is timeless, like a Picasso.’
‘Can we focus?’ laughed Lucy.
‘Sure,’ said Anthony, fixing his eyes firmly on her. ‘Sorry.’
‘So if both of you had feelings for me, why didn’t either of you ever suggest a proper relationship?’ she asked, her eyes wide. Whatever she’d expected them both to say, it wasn’t this.
‘You go,’ said Anthony, nodding at Marco.
‘Because you are very hard to reach,’ he said with a shrug. ‘And you made it totally clear from the start that all you wanted was sex. So I took what you were offering, which has been amazing, by the way.’
‘Fucking incredible,’ said Anthony.
‘You’re not cold,’ said Marco kindly. ‘You’re just your own woman. Strong, independent. You take what you want from life. That is sexy in itself, no?’
Anthony nodded furiously. ‘Totally. And it’s not like I haven’t tried, babe. Why do you think I took you to Lee’s wedding? I thought you might start to think of me as more than just some guy you fuck.’
‘Wait,’ said Marco, sitting up. ‘You went to a wedding with this guy, but you wouldn’t go to Paris with me?’
Lucy started to laugh. ‘Please don’t fight. It was a favour.’ The heartfelt respect of these two warmed her fragile heart – even if it was just sex, she’d chosen two genuinely good men.
‘So what are you saying?’ asked Anthony. ‘That you’re ready to, like, date properly?’
‘I think so,’ said Lucy, pushing aside the inevitable thoughts of Nate. ‘I’m ready to give it a try, anyway.’
‘Are either of us on the list?’ asked Marco. ‘Because I would like to apply for this position.’
‘How would she choose, though?’ asked Anthony, his brow furrowed.
‘Hmm,’ said Marco thoughtfully. ‘Some kind of competition? I am very good at chess.’
‘I’m a boxer, mate,’ said Anthony. ‘But I’d love to learn to play chess.’
‘When you’re both finished,’ Lucy cut in, feeling like a weight had lifted already.
‘Neither of you is on the list, I’m afraid.
I need to start again. A fresh page, no history.
’ Again she thought of Nate, and whether she’d apply the same rules if he were sitting on the other side of the table, asking her to love him. Almost certainly not.
‘Fair enough,’ said Anthony. ‘As long as you promise to call if you change your mind.’
‘Same,’ said Marco with a grin. ‘And I will miss being naked with you.’
‘Yeah, me too,’ said Lucy. ‘Thanks for coming today, both of you. I really appreciate it.’
‘What do we do now?’ said Anthony. ‘You’ve dumped us both before the food has even arrived.’
‘Chat? Enjoy each other’s company?’ said Lucy. ‘We can still do that, for today at least.’