Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
Wilde
I blinked my eyes and looked around, not recognizing the room. My heart leaped, but then my brain caught up and memories from the night before flooded my brain.
Reagan.
Sex.
Lots and lots of amazing sex.
Good thing I dropped off Otis with Elena, because otherwise my poor dog would’ve peed and pooped in the house.
I didn’t mean to sleep here. Hell, I didn’t even plan to drive her home.
Yeah, you did. That’s why Elena has Otis, who you trying to fool.
Looking at her beside me, her eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks as her eyes moved below her lids, her soft breaths filling the space between us. She looked so peaceful and so damn beautiful. As quietly as I could, I moved onto my side and positioned myself behind her, spooning her backside.
Reagan shifted in her sleep, a small sound emerging from her throat as her eyes fluttered more and then popped open.
She snuggled back against me before freezing, her entire body going stiff.
Her head jerked around and her eyes went wide before she scrambled from bed, as if I were a stranger between her sheets.
“Reagan? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. It’s fine. I just need to use the bathroom.” She hastily grabbed the robe hanging on a chair before wrapping it around herself and scurrying into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
I stare at the door, my heart beating wildly in my chest. I was sick of the damn thing by now, constantly throwing me into a state of chaos and confusion. I wasn’t sure what to do but lay there and wait. She emerged from the bathroom several minutes later, a sheepish look on her face.
“I’m sorry. It’s just I forgot I have an appointment this morning. And I kind of can’t cancel, so…” Reagan’s eyes darted around the room, anywhere but mine. Her voice trailed off and my insides ran cold. She couldn’t even look me at me. Her arms crossed over her chest and she looked defensive. Why?
Why was she shutting me out?
Okay, then. That wasn’t how I saw the morning playing out.
But I could take a hint. I sat up and threw my legs over to the side of the bed, grabbing my boxers off the floor before sliding them on.
I quickly dressed in silence while she watched, the awkwardness growing in spades between us.
I didn’t, couldn’t understand what the hell was happening and I wanted out of there.
“What about your car? I’ll still give you a ride.”
“Don’t worry about.” Reagan tugged her robe tighter around her frame. “My friend will give me a ride.”
I studied her features.
How did I get this so wrong?
Tears pricked the back of my eyes, but I pushed them away with a force. No one would see me cry. Ever.
“I thought we could do breakfast, but I get it. I’ll call you, okay?” I said as I ran a hand through my hand.
Reagan said nothing, only a nod, as she followed me downstairs.
We said nothing and when I walked through the door, I turned around, her leaning on the doorframe. Her eyes gave me nothing, as if a wall came up, and the shield of ice around my own began forming again. This time, it’d be impenetrable.
“I had a great time, Reagan. I’m sorry if this moved a little fast. But when it feels right, I go with it.
And I think you feel the same. Have a good one.
” I leaned in to kiss her and she backed away.
It was like she stabbed my heart with a knife.
She offered me a smile and a hug, but I held a hand up before I turned and walked away.
As I drove home, I vowed then and there to never, and I mean never, let the shield of ice melt again.
What a fucking idiot I was.
“How did it go?” Elena asked, her concerned look burning into my backside as I pet Otis, busying myself with his attention in an attempt to stall.
“Great. It went great.”
“I knew it! Did you spend the night together?” Elena moved so she was directly in front of me. I straightened up and faced her head on. It was useless trying to deflect with her otherwise.
“No, I’m a gentleman.” I smirked, but Elena could tell I was lying.
She laughed and smacked me playfully on the shoulder. “Yeah, sure. Now tell me what really happened.”
“Okay, okay. I drove her home. She invited me inside and we had a good night.”
“And? That’s it? What happened this morning?”
I shrugged. “I told her I’ll call her.”
My sister’s shoulders fell. “That’s it? You’ll call her? What is this, high school?”
“What? I can’t take things slow?”
“Of course you can, but I suspect there’s something you’re not telling me.”
I looked away. “Will you stop reading me like a goddamn book? It’s exhausting.”
Elena burst into laughter. “I can’t ever stop. Now finish.”
“There’s nothing to finish, that’s it.”
“I don’t believe you. Spill it.”
“Fine. She got all weird when we woke up in bed together. Said she had an appointment and basically pushed me out the door.”
Elena’s posture deflated. “You’re kidding me.”
“I wish I were. We had such a great night, so it really threw me off. But it just reinforced what I already knew. I enjoy being a loner. Now, no more dates, okay, sis? Otis and I are good.”
Elena cocked her head to the side. “I’ll talk to her. She isn’t a rude person. I doubt she would kick you out without a good reason.”
“It’s all good, sis, please just leave it.”
“It’s okay to be scared, you know.”
“Is it? Because it sucks. And look, I opened myself to her and she shut me out. Love is nothing but hurt.”
Elena rested her hand on my arm. “I’m sorry for what happened to Holly, but not all love ends in hurt. We don’t get chances to find someone special all that often. I know Reagan is special. Don’t give up on her just yet. She’s been hurt, too.”
The mention of Holly’s name ached in my chest. I loved her a lot and losing her in high school, in a car accident I caused, was a painful memory. But Elena was right. I couldn’t let it control my future forever.
Yet I opened up to Reagan, and then she closed me out. I couldn’t do this again. Not this rollercoaster of a ride. My heart couldn’t handle another fall.
“Okay.” I said, leaving it at that. “Have a good night, sis.” I kissed her goodbye and took Otis home.
Not once did Reagan leave my thoughts, just like she hadn’t all day. It was hopeless, damn hopeless, her constant in my mind.
Because as much as I didn’t want to admit it, she had my heart.
Too bad it was closed once more.