Chapter 25Hazel
Chapter 25
Hazel
“So, I heard your Rotary Club meeting went well.” My mother opens the door wider and ushers me in.
Behind her, a fire dances in the hearth. It heats the room, and my hands instantly tingle as the warmth reaches them.
Cold air swirls around us until she closes the door.
“Sit, sit,” she says. “I was just looking at recipes for our cookie baking this Saturday. I was so set on trying those macaroons, but I just don’t know if I’m up for all that. They’re very complicated. I’m thinking about lemon cream puffs. Now, when we go to the market on Saturday, remind me to look at the hams. I want a nice big one to have leftovers for that split pea and ham soup. Oh, and that reminds me, we’d better stop at Bed, Bath, and Beyond and look at their crockpots.”
“Mom, about this weekend…” I plop down on the couch.
This won’t be easy, but I have to do it.
It’s time.
Besides, I already bought my plane ticket while I was waiting for my dad to finish up an appointment.
I didn’t even buy insurance from the airline.
I figured that way; I wouldn’t back down.
“I can’t bring you out on your errands,” I say, shifting to face her as she sits. “And I have to cancel on the evening of baking.”
She reaches for a cooking magazine off the coffee table and starts leafing through it. “If this weekend doesn’t work, we could postpone until Monday afternoon. That might be better because Steve will be behind the counter at the deli. I’ve been talking to him about what the two of you might do if you ever manage to go out in town. A movie or a stroll in the park would be nice.”
“Mom, Monday doesn’t work, either. Actually, I talked to Dad. He’s going to skip that conference in Concord so he can spend the weekend with you.”
She purses her lips. “Oh, no, no. That won’t do. He looks forward to his conferences.”
“Sure, but he goes to too many. And maybe an outing would be good for you two.”
My mother is not the only one in this family who can meddle. My parents have been drifting apart since all of us girls moved out of the house.
When I look at my mom right now, it feels like I’m seeing her— really seeing her—for the first time in years.
She’s a person just like me, with fears and doubts and insecurities. Here, sitting on the couch with me, she’s bathed in flickering light from the fireplace and the peach light from the lamp beside the sofa. I can see the worry lines getting stronger between her pinched brows.
I smile and place my hand on her knee. “You guys could do something fun for a change.”
“Fun?” She meets my eye.
“Do something new that you haven’t done in a while, you know? There’s a show at the aquarium or that new birdwatching walk at the town gardens. What about that new pizza place over on Ashcroft?”
“I haven’t had pizza in years.”
“Exactly. Switch it up. Get out of your routine. Take a risk, Mom… That’s what I’m going to do.”
I reach into my purse for the itinerary I printed at my dad’s office. “I know I was just there, but I’ve decided I want to go back.” I hand the papers over to my mom.
She lowers her reading glasses and peers at the top sheet. “To Hawaii?”
I nod. “I fly out Friday, and I’ll be back Tuesday. It’s a quick trip. There’s a turtle ceremony I want to see.”
“But… why?”
“Alexis called it ‘soul searching.’ I’m thinking of it as just something I must do, for me. For my well-being. My growth, you know, as a person. Plus, I really love that sea turtle, the one I called Chester. I’d like to see him one last time before he leaves the lagoon.”
“He’s the one you took so many photographs of.”
I nod, thinking of Chester’s buggy eyes and nodding head. “Yeah.” I grin. “I want to be there to wish him well when he ventures out into the big blue ocean. And… I think it will be good for me to see the ceremony. I feel this… this shift, I guess, happening inside me. Like I’m on the brink of something new. I think I need to be on that island to really let it happen.”
“I don’t know what nonsense you’re talking about,” she says, lips pinched again.
Well, I tried, I think, as I survey her worried expression.
But then… I see it.
A spark in her eye.
It shimmers there, dancing like the flames in the hearth. “Risk, hm?” she says, her tone dreamy. “How about that? Haven’t considered taking a risk in a long time.”
“I think it can be healthy.”
“Or a good way to get hurt,” she says.
Hm . Now I know where I got that outlook from.
I reach for my purse. “Some people say dangerous usually means fun.”
“I have been wanting to try that new pizza place.” She giggles.
It’s the first laugh I’ve heard on her lips in so, so long.
She stands up. “I suppose that’s not exactly dangerous , but we all have to start somewhere.”
When I walk to the door, she joins me there. “Have fun, sweetie,” she says before kissing my cheek. “I’ll try to do the same here. It looks like my last baby bird is flying the nest. I’m sorry… I’m sorry if I kept you a little too long.”
She gets it.
Better than I did, even.
“You don’t have to be sorry,” I tell her, in all honesty. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Now, go. Fly. Or, swim. Whatever it is that you want to do.” She gives me a quick smile and then shoos me out the door.
Snow’s once again falling. The flakes are wet and heavy. It takes me a few minutes to scrape my windshield.
When I settle into my car, I crank the heat and blow breath onto my frozen fingers. At least I won’t have to deal with the spring sleet that’s expected for this weekend.
In three days, I’ll be in Hawaii.