Chapter 10
Silas
The Badgers had yet another win that brought them closer to the playoffs.
They were going to win the cup this year.
I knew it. I knew it in my bones. The way they were playing, their synchroneity on the ice.
It was perfection. Evan and Elliot were closer than ever, totally in sync.
Nix was unstoppable. His counterpart, Tommy, was just as good.
I took a swig of my beer and kept my eyes glued on the screen that covered the wall of the bar.
I was surrounded by Elliot, not just in my thoughts but in my every waking moment.
Every game I watched, every time I interacted with anyone in the industry, they mentioned him and the hot streak he was on.
More than one person had pondered what had changed to spark such a change in his play.
I knew.
The Badgers all went to do a group hug, there were slaps on the back, sticks in the air. They were all excited about their win. Once the buzzer went off and they were declared winners, Elliot flashed a smile that the cameraman happened to catch. He was happy. He looked so fucking happy.
What had I expected, really? For his game to suffer just because he had broken up with me? I didn’t want that. I never wanted that. But to realize that I was so insignificant to his life that it appeared that nothing had changed for him. Fuck, that kind of hurt.
If anything, he was playing better. According to the ESPN commentators who would not shut up about him, he was going to break some records this year if he kept this up. Good for him.
Truly, I was excited for him. I wanted nothing but the best for Elliot.
“Elliot Shaw is a force to be reckoned with this season, playing his best hockey we’ve ever seen from him.
Reminds me of his days back in the lower league,” Blaine Wilkes, a retired center who now had his own post-game show on ESPN, prattled on and on about Elliot.
I wanted to bash his face in. I’d never been the violent type, but I was tired and cranky and so fucking lonely.
“That’s right, Blaine. He is on fire out there, unstoppable.
But goddamn, you can’t get a word out of him for the press.
In fact, rumor from our sources is that he isn’t even being selected to talk to the press after the games because he never has anything to say.
You think something’s going on inside his head? ”
“I’m not sure about that, Morgan. But honestly, I don’t care. Whatever is going on that’s keeping him on top of his game has got to be a good thing.”
Yeah. A good thing. Being single. No more alpha to drag him down.
“Well, he has always been a quiet person. Right now, he needs to focus on winning that cup for his team. Him and Evan both,” Morgan said.
“More sources say that the Port City Badgers are a shoo-in for the playoffs and possibly the cup. Absolutely. Garrison would be a fool not to name him Alternate Captain.”
“Switch to something else, please,” I said, surprising half the people in the bar. The bar was named The Blue Line, and hockey memorabilia covered the walls. Turning on something besides hockey was practically against the law here.
Colin sat next to me.
“Tired of hockey?”
I nodded.
“Me too. There were at least three calls in that game that the refs missed.”
I smirked. “No one’s quite as good as us, huh?”
“Exactly. So, there’s no specific reason you don’t want to watch the Badgers?” He leaned closer to me as he asked, like we were exchanging a secret.
“What? No, I don’t care who’s playing. I’m tired of hockey.”
“It’s too early in the season to be tired of the ice, man.” He nudged my shoulder.
I tried to keep up appearances that everything was fine. My crew didn’t know me outside of work, and we hadn’t met much before now, so they had no way of knowing that I wasn’t usually so quiet and morose.
“It’s just an off night,” I said. “Don’t mind me.”
“You’re going to be seeing more of them, though.” Colin picked a handful of fries out of the basket and stuffed them in his mouth.
“They’re definitely going to go all the way this season,” I agreed.
“Yeah, probably. But I meant that we’re officiating their next game, and then another one later this season, I think.” He lifted his beer and took a drink like his words hadn’t just shattered my whole world.
“What?”
“Yeah, you haven’t looked at the schedule? I usually have it memorized by now.”
“Honestly, I just get on a plane when they tell me to get on a plane.” I could care less what jerseys I was looking at when I was out there.
I was the epitome of neutral at this point.
Could care less about the logo, the tenure of the players.
I reffed games. I went back to my hotel. I tried not to cry myself to sleep.
Really great life I was living.
“There something wrong with the Badgers?” he asked, eyeing me carefully. “Maybe a connection you have to them, that you haven’t mentioned?”
I pinched my lips closed. I had nothing to say to that.
Colin looked around, then leaned closer again. “Hey, man, listen. We’ve all been around the league a long time. Some of us have met the players outside of the league, or the coaches or someone on the staff. Neutrality is important.”
My jaw tensed. “I know that,” I said. “And I will be 100% neutral. I don’t have a connection to the team.” Anymore.
“I know. I trust you. You wouldn’t be the first ref to have some relationship with one of the players.
My stepbrother plays for the Stonepeak Snakes.
Which is fitting, since he’s a dick. Technically, he’s an ex-stepbrother.
And I didn’t have to report it to the league.
He’s a massive dick, bro. A hot motherfucker, but a dick. ”
“And that’s your stepbrother you’re talking about?”
He waggled his eyebrows and chuckled. “We’re not blood related.”
I let myself relax a little. Maybe talking about it would help. Having someone who understood couldn’t hurt. “Elliot and I have known each other in the past,” I admitted. The most truth I had said out loud to anyone about Elliot and me.
“No shit. That’s kind of obvious. You only watched the screen when he was on it, like he’s got some sort of magnetic pull.”
I couldn’t deny that. I would follow Elliot anywhere. He was my north star. “It’s nothing.”
“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” Colin was the image of casual, but I knew he was itching to ask for more details. I appreciated the restraint. Revealing as much as I had was hard enough.
“It is nothing. It can’t be anything. It was over before I accepted this job.”
He nodded and gave me a sad smile. “No worries, man. I trust you.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“And hey, we don’t have to be on the ice for another couple of days. Drink up!”
I lifted the beer to my lips. Drinking didn’t help, but it also didn’t hurt.