Chapter 11
Elliot
When Coach called you in for a meeting, you had no choice but to go.
For the life of me, I couldn’t think of a single reason why I was being called in.
I was at the top of my game. Everyone said so.
The sports announcers couldn’t stop talking about me, and my social media was blowing up constantly with notifications.
Apparently, I was the talk of several podcasts.
My agent had a list of sponsorships and endorsement deals that I could sign at any time that would have me set for life.
I drowned it all out. None of it mattered.
We had yet another game in which I scored a hat trick. We were on a winning streak, and I was leading it, but I was still being a team player. I wasn’t being a dick or showboating. I passed off to teammates when I could. I didn’t talk to the press much, just enough that I didn’t get in trouble.
Evan’s words echoed in my mind from time to time, but I ignored that too.
Sure, I had been less than social with the guys. Every invitation to the bar, to dinner, to movies, to anywhere, went unanswered. But that was typical. I never went out with the guys that often, even before my heart had been ripped out of my chest and shredded over the ice.
I caught Coach’s eye through the window, and he gestured for me to come inside. He and Assistant Coach Mario sat there. I sat down next to Mario.
“Coach,” I said.
“Elliot, how are you?” Coach asked.
I shrugged. “Just fine,” I said. I couldn’t sleep. I only ate because I needed the protein. When I closed my eyes, all I saw was Silas. But other than that, I was totally fine.
“We’re going to be on the road for the next week. You ready for that?”
I nodded.
We were quiet for a while. I wasn’t about to offer up any information, and it was up to him to tell me why I was here.
This was not unlike being a pulled over by the police.
I wasn’t talking until I knew what I was being accused of.
Previous Elliot may have filled the silence with small talk, perhaps asking Coach about his son or asking Mario how his omega was doing, but not current Elliot.
“You know, we’ve been considering what to do with you for a while.” Coach leaned back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest. Though he hadn’t played professionally for long, and he’d been a coach for several years, he kept himself in good shape.
My stomach twisted. What to do with me? Was I being traded? No, there was no way. They had no reason to trade me. We were just about to land ourselves a spot in the playoffs.
“We’re not trading you. I would never let that happen,” Coach said.
Clearly, I wasn’t keeping my emotions in check as well as I thought I was.
I wanted nothing more than to escape with my headphones and a quiet room.
When I wasn’t on the ice or in the gym, then I was buried in focus music or meditation sounds.
Anything to keep my mind clear and to keep from thinking.
I refused to think about Silas, or my lack of a true home, or my future.
All I cared about was the next practice, the next game.
“What I meant was… Son, is everything all right in your personal life?”
I stood a little straighter. My throat thickened, and my tongue felt like it suddenly weighed twenty pounds. “Why do you ask?”
Coach leaned forward. He kept his expression neutral, almost caring. It was a stark contrast from the hard-ass we usually encountered in practice. I knew he had it in him, I’d seen him with his omega and son, but I’d never had that emotion directed at me.
It almost made me want to spill all my secrets.
“Evan mentioned that you asked if you could stay at his place for a few days, which you did. And recently, you filed a change of address with the organization.”
Right. I found a furnished apartment not far from the stadium. It definitely didn’t have quite the level of perks that my place with Silas had, but it was fine. The bland walls and well-used furniture were fine. Everything was fine.
Cold. Empty.
There was no Silas.
“Did something happen?”
I hated that I was being forced to do the very thing I was trying to avoid. I didn’t want to think about Silas or all the things I had to sacrifice in order to play this game. I was winning. Wasn’t that enough for them?
Right now, it was as if they were pouring salt into my open wounds.
I bristled. This was none of their damn business, and they had no right to ask about my personal life. “I’ve played just fine, Coach. This isn’t affecting the team.”
Coach folded his fingers together. His head tilted as he blinked at me, like he was some sort of armchair psychologist. “It’s not about your playing. You have played wonderfully for me. I can’t complain about that.”
“I haven’t been mean to anyone.”
“No, of course not. You haven’t exactly been friendly with anyone either, but that’s not a requirement, son. We just want to make sure you’re okay. If something’s going on, sometimes it does help to talk.”
I sighed. I couldn’t keep holding it all in. I knew that wasn’t healthy. The alternative was to spill all of my deepest secrets to my coach. I should trust him. I did trust him. But had I really even been honest with myself about this whole situation?
“I recently ended a relationship,” I said.
Both coaches exchanged a glance. Mario’s eyes shot up. “We didn’t realize you were seeing anyone.”
I shifted my weight. I avoided looking at their faces, instead focusing on the calendar posted on the wall. The upcoming game mocked me. The game where Silas’s new crew would be officiating.
“We were together a while,” I said. “I had to choose between him and my career. I chose my career.”
Coach nodded. “I see. Well, I’m sorry to hear that. Anyone who makes you choose between them and your dream isn’t the righ—”
“He didn’t make me choose,” I said. I nearly shouted the words. “It wasn’t—” I clenched my jaw. I couldn’t give away too much. It would be too obvious. “Si—” Dammit. This was harder than it should be.
Finally, I swallowed around the emotion that was choking me.
“He didn’t make me choose. We are just in an impossible position, and we can no longer be together,” I said.
Coach nodded. “Okay. We can respect that. If you need any—”
“I don’t,” I said. “I am handling it. I appreciate it, Coach, I really do, but I got this.”
He studied me for a moment, his expression unreadable. Finally, he pinched his lips together and drew in a breath through his nose. “Okay. I can trust that you have it well in hand.”
“Thank you, sir. I know I haven’t been the most social member of the team lately, but that doesn’t mean I’m ignoring my teammates. Just yesterday, Derek and I spent extra time on the ice working on backhand drills, and Nix and I spent all day tracking down his favorite stick tape.”
Coach grinned. “We know. We see how the team looks to you for advice and guidance. Just like they do Evan.”
An unfamiliar feeling settled in my chest. Unease? Trepidation? Where was he going with this?
“That’s why we would like to offer you the Alternate Captain title.”
I was speechless.
I mean, I didn’t have much to say these days, but in this moment, I really should think of something.
“Thank you,” I finally stammered.
“Don’t fuck it up,” he said.
I barked out a laugh. “I may have fucked up a few things in my life lately, but I’d never mess with hockey.”
He nodded. “We know you won’t let us down.”