Chapter 12
Silas
Neutral, remain neutral.
That was my mantra. It should’ve been easy, second nature for this job, really.
It was my mantra for every game that I was officiating.
I didn’t care what color jersey, what city, how famous, or how much of a dick the player was.
I made calls that were fair, neutral, and didn’t favor either team.
It was never a question before. I’d never been tempted one way or the other, even when I became sort of friends with some of the players.
Even when I wanted to see the underdog win.
Even when I thought the team really deserved it.
I always remained impartial, without question.
Today was going to be a new challenge.
Today, I sat in the scorekeeper’s box with the crew while the pre-game went on.
The crowd was electric for this game, and it was impossible not to feel the energy of how much the fans loved their team.
They were shouting and cheering so loud the rink shook with it, and the game hadn’t even started yet.
The Port City Badgers were playing their first home game after several games on the road.
They were just a few weeks away from playoffs, and they were a shoo-in.
Rowan, the mascot, was out on the ice doing some sort of skit that involved him making a scene with a bucket of tennis balls and an oversized hockey stick.
At least I assumed it was Rowan. I knew they had two individuals now that rotated in the costume.
I know that Rowan and Reid Garrison, the coach, had their baby, but he came back to work this season, and Rowan generally liked to do the home game stuff.
I only knew this because Elliot shared it with me. Once upon a time I was privy to that sort of information. Not anymore.
Once the pre-game show was done, the teams began speeding around, doing their stretches and exercises.
I wiped my sweaty palms on my black pants, double-checked that my laces were secure, then I ventured onto the ice.
I kept my eyes on anything except the players.
I couldn’t let myself search for Elliot for even a second.
Elliot was on the ice, doing his stretches.
He had his back to me. I didn’t even need to look at him to know what he was doing and where he was.
His stick was on the ice next to him, with the black-and-white zebra tape.
The design that I’d always assumed was sort of a shout-out to me, was actually just a part of his routine.
It had nothing to do with me. Did it make him think of me, though?
Did he think about me at every game when he saw the officials on the ice?
I skated the opposite direction, away from Elliot.
Neutral, remain neutral.
I had never been so tempted to break that rule.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to make calls in favor of Elliot or against him.
The omega, my omega, was playing the most impressive hockey I’d ever seen out of him.
And what had I expected? He was the best. And now he didn’t have a relationship weighing him down.
I’d love to say that I was doing the best work I’d ever done, but I was pretty much the same.
Also, maybe I missed a few things. Also, sometimes I was a little harsher than I should’ve been.
My head wasn’t in this anymore. The passion I had for the game had disappeared when Elliot walked out of my life.
According to my team, I was doing just fine.
It was natural for newbies to miss things or make questionable calls while they gained experience.
It was why we were given a lighter schedule.
The League of Ice Kings was faster paced than the lower league, but I wasn’t overwhelmed.
It felt natural to me, and I had no issue keeping up with my crew, and they’d been at this for years.
As far as I could tell, they didn’t have any complaints with me. We all got along fine, and I even considered them to be friends now.
Today would be the test.
It would be my first game on the ice with Elliot and the Port City Badgers. A team that I privately considered my favorite in the league.
“Let’s get this started,” Xavier said as we prepared for the game to start.
Colin bumped my arm with his. “You all right?”
I nodded. “Yeah. It’s fine.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I’m in a similar boat.” He pointed out one of the Port City players, a guy I wasn’t expected to see in Port City. “That’s my ex-stepbrother.”
“Chuck Matthews is your stepbrother?”
“He hates being called Chuck, but yeah, that’s my ex-stepbrother. He asked me if I wanted to grab dinner after.” Colin shook his head and made a face. “Can you believe that? The nerve.”
“Yeah, no kidding.”
“He was just traded to Port City. This is his first game with them.”
I really should’ve been paying closer attention to what was happening with the hockey world. Instead, I avoided it because I didn’t want to hear about Elliot.
Thankfully, I wasn’t doing the face-off. I wasn’t going to be that close to Elliot. Yet.
Neutral. Remain neutral.
It wasn’t until they lined up for the puck drop that I saw the A on his chest.
When had that happened? How had I missed it?
The sports journalism world was probably blowing up with that new development and the addition of a new team member.
He deserved it, that much I knew. No one cared more for his team than Elliot.
He might have had a one-track mind when it came to his own career, but he looked out for his teammates.
Had he been blindsided by the position or had he expected it?
I would never know because I wasn’t privy to that information. I wasn’t the person he called to share that news with anymore. I’d been avoiding news coverage of him like the plague.
I suddenly felt the emotion clogging my throat, making it impossible for me to do my job.
Fuck, I needed to pull it together.
The puck dropped. The roar of the crowd dulled around me as I blocked it out. I had to put aside the distractions both in the physical world and the mental one. I couldn’t think about Elliot and how much I missed him, his touch, his scent, just being near him.
I had a game to ref, and it wasn’t fair to the teams if I didn’t put forth my best effort.
I followed the play, keeping my eyes on the puck and the players but doing my best not to care who was who.
Of course, Elliot was in the center of it all.
He had the puck and was making a break for the net, his pass to Evan was flawless, and within seconds of the game starting, they were scoring their first goal.
The crowd went wild for their star players. Evan and Elliot embraced in celebration. Elliot skated right past me, not even sparing me a glance.