Chapter 2
Cole
Just over a year ago, I let myself dream.
I believed that I could give in and have it all.
I’d been staying with Lacey for almost three months after I’d been attacked whilst sleeping at the worksite our company had been working on.
We fell into a comfortable and easy routine.
Our mornings were spent going for a walk or a jog, mainly me, seeing as Lacey is allergic to any form of fast exercise.
We spent our nights binge-watching movies and TV shows; she would cook, and I would clean.
That’s when the thoughts started to creep in. What if I stayed? What if we gave in to those fleeting glances? What if I chose to finally be happy instead of filling my time with meaningless moments?
Then, one night, whilst watching an old rom-com where the female lead becomes pregnant, reality came crashing down like a cold bucket of water and plunged my heart into the abyss where it belonged.
Lacey had been so animated talking about babies and what she would call her baby when she had one.
All the while, I smiled and nodded along, but as each moment passed, my tongue turned to ash and my insides died a little as I realised those dreams I had could never be a reality for me.
I could never give her what she wanted and what she deserved.
I was unable to have children.
An accident when I was younger saw to that.
At first, the consequences didn’t register, but when I realised Lacey felt the same way about me?
Well, I had to put a stop to our budding romance there and then, because I knew that if I were selfish enough to keep her, she wouldn’t ever have the family she craved so much.
So, I moved out and got a place of my own.
Fast forward to four months ago, when I met Gabby.
From the get-go, I was honest with her. I told her I didn’t intend to be in a serious relationship, that this would never lead to marriage or a family.
She understood and wanted a casual thing too.
I told her that Lacey was my best friend; Gabby thought it was endearing.
Of course, that must have all been lies. Recently, she has been hounding me about moving in together and taking the next step. Whenever I say I’m seeing my family or checking on Lacey, she ends up either ill or books something for us to do.
And what do I do, like a complete idiot, you ask? Well, I go along with it.
It’s easier to suffer through Gabby’s games than to disappoint Lacey by telling her the truth.
Only, my sparing Lacey’s feelings backfired, and now, we’re further apart than ever. I can’t stand it.
When she opened the door to her room earlier, my tongue nearly rolled out of my mouth, and it took everything in me not to storm in there and kiss her without stopping.
She is so beautiful, it makes my heart ache. To see that look in her eyes, filled with such disappointment and loneliness, all aimed at me, it almost broke me.
We walk down the aisle together, and every single one of my brothers, my parents, and our friends are beaming at us—everyone, except Gabby. If looks could kill, then we both would have been struck down.
My attention snaps back to the ceremony. As well as a shitty boyfriend and best friend, I’m also a shitty brother.
The registrar proclaims them husband and wife, and Cas dips Emmy and kisses her like they’re the only two people in the world. A smile spreads across my face as I watch them both, so in love and so happy, even after everything they have been through.
My eyes clash with Lacey’s. Her smile is just as wide as mine. She puts her thumbs up, and I do the same, only I can’t seem to look away and neither can she. That is, until Archie jumps on my back and ruffles my hair, shouting, “They did it! God, I love, love Cole!”
He jumps back down and sprints into the crowd as the bride and groom still kiss. Hayleigh shouts for them to get a room, and Cas breaks away and tells her they’re already in one, causing them both to crack up laughing.
I look back to where Lacey stood, but she isn’t there anymore. I look around to try to find her, but she’s gone. Before I can take another step, Gabby appears in my field of vision.
“Hey, handsome,” she purrs and tries to pull me in for a kiss a little forcefully. I give her a quick peck, not wanting to piss her off or cause a scene, but she huffs anyway. “I saw you making googly eyes at Lacey earlier. Could you be any more obvious, Cole?” Her sneer transforms her face.
“We aren’t doing this here, Gabby. It’s my brother's fucking wedding, do not test me. Lacey is part of this family, whether you like it or not.” I can’t help the bite in my voice.
She’s just about to respond when my mum floats over to us. That woman can sense an argument brewing a mile off. Guess it pays off to have six boys to wrangle.
“Everything okay over here? Lovely service, wasn’t it?
” She smiles pointedly at Gabby, who doesn’t return my mum's smile and instead rolls her eyes, then walks off. My mum's cheeks flush, and my blood boils, “Oh, Cole, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean anything nasty by it. I could tell things seemed a bit heated…”
I don’t let my Mum finish before I bring her into a hug and kiss her cheek.
“Don’t you dare apologise for her rudeness, Mum. I’m sorry for her behaviour. I'd better find her before she causes any more trouble. Can you do me a favour and find Lacey, make sure she’s OK?” I leave my Mum and go on the hunt for Gabby.
**********
I find Gabby in the next room, perched up against the bar, nursing a gin and tonic. I sit beside her, and she doesn’t even bother looking my way.
“Hey!” A few people turn around to stare, but I don’t care; I’m done with her rudeness. “Are you going to talk to me and tell me what that was about with my mum? You were fucking rude, Gabby, and that isn’t okay with me.”
She tuts before saying, “Where is this going, Cole? Why even invite me to your brother's wedding?”
“I thought you would have a nice time?” I turn my answer into a question because I have no idea where she’s going with this.
She nods as if I’ve confirmed something. “You meant it when you said this could never be more, didn’t you?” She turns and looks me dead in the eye.
Realisation dawns and my stomach drops. “Yes, Gabby, I meant it. I can’t give you a future. That isn’t in the cards for me. All I can offer is right now, and if that isn’t good enough for you, then I don’t know what you want me to do.”
Her eyes shine with tears, and she angrily swipes at them.
“Well, Cole, you should have thought about that before inviting me to a fucking wedding. I’ll pack up the shit you left at mine, and you can collect it in a few days.
If you don’t, I’ll just bin it.” Then she gets up and storms out of the venue.
**********
It’s been a few hours since Gabby walked out. Everyone noticed that she made a swift exit, but none of them was surprised. I throw back the whiskey and head over to where my brothers are all gathered together.
“Cole, where have you been? You'd better have practised because if you ruin this for us, I will not be happy with you, okay?” Archie is as frazzled as ever.
Nate smacks the back of his hand across Archie’s chest. “Will you relax, Arch? We’ve all got this.”
Cas joins us, smiling from ear to ear as he says, “Okay, so Hayleigh has Emmy and is bringing her out to the dancefloor. Do you all remember the routine?” He stares each of us down, looking at me twice.
I put a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, little brother, we won’t let either of you down.” Little does he know that Lacey has had me practising routines since we were kids. I’ve got this in the bag. The very embarrassing bag, nonetheless.
We take our position on the dance floor; to my left, stand Rafe and Archie.
Cas is to my right in the middle of the group, and on his right stand Vik, Ethan, and Nate.
We all face away from the crowd. Soft music plays as Hayleigh leads a blindfolded Emmy to her designated seat on the dancefloor just behind us.
As one, we all face away from the crowd. "
Cas bounces nervously on his feet, so I say to him, “She’s going to love this. Stop bouncing.” He laughs but gulps when, through the speakers “What Makes You Beautiful” by One Direction starts to play, and we hear Emmy’s squeal of delight as she realises what’s about to happen.
Just like we practised, going from left to right, we swing our hips in time with the beat.
Then, when the lyrics start, Cas spins around and sings along as he dances to Emmy.
We all stay in our positions until the chorus kicks in, then we spin around and shimmy our top halves to the music before turning to the side and twerking.
Yes. Twerking.
As we follow the routine, I can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous we all look, apart from Cas, who, of course, is a pro at this dancing business.
The music switches to “Pony” by Ginuwine, and we spin to the side, all facing the same direction.
As the song kicks in, we roll our bodies down, once, twice, before putting our right hands on the shoulder in front of us and lifting our left hand, then bringing it down as we thrust our hips. Who knew I could be so flexible?
We break apart, and Cas does some crazy dance moves while the rest of us continue to thrust our arms and hips in sync.
When the lyrics start up, we face away from the crowd and dive to the ground as if doing a handstand, but instead of throwing our legs up, we kick one leg up behind us while lowering ourselves to the floor.
Like some sexy version of the worm, we thrust our hips against the floor a couple of times.
We bring our bodies into a wide plank position before jumping up onto our knees. Spinning around with one arm out to help us turn, we stand and roll our bodies.
Cas, still on the floor, uses his knees to slide outwards along the floor to where Emmy sits. He flips around to face away from her before dipping low into a plank. Slowly, he walks his legs back till he’s standing and shakes his backside in front of her face.
She smacks it, and he jumps around, standing over her with his legs on either side of her chair. He holds the back of her chair while he rolls down her body a few times before planting a kiss on her lips.
The music fades, and we bow to the crowd, who have been deafening this whole time.
Lacey makes her way over to me, fanning herself. “Wow! Who knew all of those dance routines would pay off, Cole?” She’s smirking at me, and I can’t help but smile back.
“Sorry, did you just say ‘dance routines’? As in plural?” Archie’s voice floats next to me, and I close my eyes, knowing he’s going to give me shit for this for the rest of our lives.
I give him the best big brother withering stare that I can. “Archie, we are never, ever, going to talk about this, ever again. Got it?” He shrugs a shoulder at me and walks off, laughing to himself – the little shit.
“So, do I get a best friend dance or will Gabby claw my eyes out?” Lacey laughs as she looks around.
Clearing my throat, I say, “She’s gone, so no clawing of the sort, but yes to the dance.”
The music changes to “Perfect To Me” by Michael Sanzone, and I take her hand in mine while my other goes around her waist as we sway to the song.
Everything falls away as I hold her in my arms and listen to the words, wanting so much to tell her that’s how I feel.
Instead, I stay silent and enjoy the moment.
She moves closer and rests her head on my chest, and my arms go around her back as I place my chin on the top of her head.
The music ends, and so does the magic because she pulls away and smiles softly as she turns and walks away to where Emmy and Hayleigh stand at the bar. I can’t help but feel cold and rooted to the spot.
“Penny for your thoughts?” I spin around at my mum’s voice.
I hold my hand out to her as I ask, “May I have this dance?”
She puts her hand in mine, and I spin her around to the music. When she comes back around, she looks at me intently, patiently waiting. I sigh. “I know what you all want from me, but you know as well as I do, Mum, that I can’t.”
She shakes her head. “Cole, it isn’t for me to tell you that what you’re doing is right or wrong.
That’s for you to decide; you’re a big boy now.
One thing I will say is that your idea of family is warped.
Families come in all shapes and sizes, and being part of our family, well, that is something you should already know.
” She pats the side of my face before going to sit down next to Dad.
**********
It’s well into the night; my brothers are drunk. Emmy and Cas snuck out early, and my parents are having the time of their lives on the dance floor. I look around to find Lacey standing near the buffet table and decide to go over to talk to her, to see if everything is okay between us.
I’m just a few feet away when I see her start to sway. She falls forward and grips the edge of the table. Just as I get there, she tilts sideways, and I catch her, watching as her eyes roll into the back of her head.
Out of nowhere, my dad appears next to me, asking me what happened, but all I can think about is that she isn’t waking up, and I don’t know how to fix this.
I shout for them to phone an ambulance, while I roam my hands over her face, her body, checking everywhere for what could have happened. She’s still breathing, but it seems shallow.
She has to be okay.