Chapter 3
Lacey
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I groan as the sound of my alarm beeps away. How much did I drink last night?
I crack open an eye and realise this isn’t my bed, and that isn’t my alarm. A sharp pain tugs at my right arm, and when I look down, I see an IV sticking out of the crook of my arm. My eyes travel around the hospital room and land on a softly snoring Cole, folded into a chair next to my bed.
“Cole,” I whisper to him, and he stirs but doesn’t wake up. I dread to think what I look like; I bet my makeup is smudged over my face. I try to move, but the IV snags, and I let out a gasp as the pain stings my arm.
“Lacey, what’s wrong?”
I turn around to look at Cole, a sheepish grin on my face. “Sorry for waking you. What happened?” He looks tired, and when I look outside the window, I see it’s already morning.
“I don’t know. The nurses wouldn’t tell me anything; they only let me stay with you because I said I’d camp out in the hallways regardless of what they said.” He looks hesitant before saying, “Has everything been okay with you, Lacey? You would tell me if something was going on, wouldn’t you?”
A part of me feels bad for him and how dejected he looks, but then the other part of me, the lonely part, is pissed off that it’s taken till now for him to realise there has been something wrong. So I tell him exactly how I feel.
“We’re best friends, aren’t we?”
He nods but doesn’t speak.
“So tell me, Cole, if we’re best friends, then why have you practically ghosted me since you got with Gabby?
You haven’t even been to your mum’s Sunday lunch in the four months you’ve been with her.
You haven’t so much as asked if I was okay!
” I can feel myself getting more and more riled up.
Fuck him and fuck her. “You know what? I don’t even know why you’re here with me now instead of her.
Just leave, Cole.” I turn away from him as the tears start to fall.
“Lacey?” When I don’t answer, he continues, “Okay, then. You don’t have to talk to me, but you can at least listen. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m sorry I put our friendship on the back burner. I shouldn’t have done that. You mean the world to me, Lace, more than anyone.”
I hear the sorrow in his voice, and it softens me.
I sigh. “Cole, it wasn’t just you. Hayleigh was reeling from what she had gone through, and Emmy was smitten with Cas, recovering from her own ordeal.
I…I just felt so alone that I wanted to…
feel, something, anything! Instead, I felt empty.
” My shoulders slump. Cole grabs my hand, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth.
He looks about to say something when the doors burst open and a nurse pushing a trolley barges her way into the room. She looks up and smiles when she realises I’m awake.
“Well, hello there, sleeping beauty. I was wondering when you would wake up.” She pushes the trolley into place on my right side and starts arranging the items that sit on top of it. I look to Cole, and he shrugs.
“Erm, excuse me, nurse?”
She turns her kind eyes to me. “Yes?”
“What’s wrong with me?” My bottom lip trembles as it all hits me at once that I’m lying here in a hospital bed with no clue what has been happening with my body.
She stops what she’s doing and sits on the edge of my bed.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart, you’re perfectly fine.
You were just a little dehydrated, that’s all.
Well, not a little, actually; you were quite dehydrated.
We need to keep you in for a couple of days to make sure we get fluids in you and make sure everything’s okay; we have some tests booked in for you, too.
” When she sees the alarmed look on my face, she hurries to say, “Don’t worry, the baby is absolutely fine, but just to be on the safe side, we need to do a scan with you today, and I’m sorry to say, but it’s a transvaginal scan as it’s a bit early for the abdominal ultrasound.
Other than that, all your other stats seem fine.
You need to rest up.” She stands and carries on humming to herself, all while taking my stats, and no sooner has she bustled in here than she’s gone.
I think I may be having some form of medical episode. What the hell is a transvaginal scan?
I must be, because I haven’t moved a muscle since the nurse dropped that little bombshell on me. I force myself to move and turn to Cole, who’s sitting there, still rubbing circles on my hand with his thumb, quietly waiting for me to say something.
“Cole?”
“Yeah?”
“Did she just say…” I don’t let myself finish the sentence; I can’t.
“Yeah.”
“Did you also hear…” Jesus, I can’t bring myself to say it out loud.
“I sure did.”
“Oh.”
That’s it then. I’m pregnant.
“Do you want to talk about it? I didn’t even know that you were seeing someone.
” There’s a hurt to his voice that both gets to me and pisses me off, because why does he get to be hurt that I slept with someone else?
No, this little nugget of joy now growing inside of me is the result of a one-night stand during the first days of moping about Cole and Gabby, not a new relationship.
Fucking Gabby! This is all her fault.
“I’m not seeing anyone, Cole.” I stop, thinking of what to say and how to say this, but then I remember this is my best friend, and if he truly is, he won't judge me for what I say next. “If you must know, I had a one-night stand, just one. I was careful, but obviously, the fucking universe has other plans. And if that is a problem for you? Well, there’s the door. Don’t let it hit your backside on the way out.
” I know I’m pushing at him, but it’s better than the rejection he’s bound to throw my way.
“Lacey, will you look at me?”
Against my better judgment, I stubbornly turn to face him.
He sits on the edge of my bed and holds both of my hands in his as he softly tells me, “You’re not alone in this. I’ll be here every step of the way if you want me to be.”
At his words, I dissolve into tears, and he gathers me up in his arms and rubs my back, all the while telling me that everything is going to be okay and he’s here.
**********
I must have nodded off again without realising.
I look around the room but don’t see Cole anywhere, and a wave of sadness comes over me.
I can't expect him to stay here with me. We are all due to fly out to Vegas in two days, but that isn’t going to be happening now.
Not when the doctors haven’t even told me when I’m leaving here.
I push the covers down my body and look at my stomach.
I find no visible changes, but, at the same time, everything is different.
Inside of me grows a small human, my small human.
I feel a surge of protectiveness flare up inside of me.
Although I don’t know what my next steps are, I am sure that this baby will be loved, even if I am alone in all of this.
Covering myself over, I look up, ready to share my moment with Cole.
The room is, of course, empty. For a moment, I forgot he had left.
I bet he’s gone to find Gabby, and I suppose he should.
She is, after all, his girlfriend. Sighing, I grab my phone off the side and see there’s no charge in it.
Great. This is just what I need, to sit here, bored to tears with no one to talk to, apart from myself.
The door to the room opens and in walks Cole, still in his clothes from the wedding, which was yesterday, I think. Carrying two takeaway cups in his hands, he smiles when he sees me.
“I nipped out to grab coffee for us, decaf for you because of the baby.” He hands me my cup and sits down.
It never fails to amaze me how he always knows what I need and when, even when he hasn’t been around much these past few months.
As usual, he is utterly oblivious to how he has made me feel.
I murmur a thanks and drink down the hot goodness.
“So, Lacey, I have to tell you something, and you can’t be mad at me. Okay?” He sounds sheepish.
“Go on.”
He rubs the back of his neck, a blush creeping over his cheeks. “My mum came to the hospital to find out what was wrong, and I may have inadvertently told her about the baby.” He takes a peek at me as he finishes his sentence.
“Oh god, did you tell her I had a one-night stand?” I gasp at the thought.
“She’s going to be so disappointed in me, Cole.
What if she thinks I’m just some silly tart now?
What do I say to her? What do I tell everyone else?
Can I claim immaculate conception? Is that a thing nowadays?
” I ramble on, and Cole puts his drink down before moving to sit at the side of my bed.
Grabbing my face in his hands, he looks into my eyes.
“Lacey. You need to calm down; it’s not good for you or the baby to get so stressed.
My mum could never think that about you.
She’s so worried about you that she’s camped outside, refusing to go home.
None of the rest of our family is going to think badly of you. Okay?”
I sniffle and nod; then I realise what he said. “Our family?”
His cheeks blaze. “Well, y-yeah. Our family, my family…I mean, you and me and, you know. You’re a part of our family.” He clears his throat, looking uncomfortable, but it still makes me smile.
“So, is May still outside?” Cole nods, I take a deep breath and say, “Can you ask her to come in?”
Although Cole told me his Mum just wanted to make sure I was OK, I can’t help but worry about the judgment people will have when they find out I’ve gotten pregnant from a one-night stand. Nerves are battering my insides as I wait for him to answer.
Cole nods again. “Sure.” Then he gets up and leaves the room while I wring my hands.
A flurry of excited squeals sounds outside the door to my room, and before I know it, May comes barging into the room, her hands full of bags.
She makes it to my bed before dropping the bags down, and then she’s here, arms flying around me as she gathers me into one of her hugs.
Side note, May’s hugs are the most amazing Mum hugs in the world.
We hug for a good few minutes before she pulls back.
Her hands go to either side of my face, and she rubs soothing circles on my cheeks.
She looks me straight in the eyes. “Lacey, honey, don’t ever feel like I will ever be ashamed or disappointed in you.
I can’t even imagine how scared you must be now, but don’t worry, because you aren’t alone, okay? ”
I nod, not trusting myself to speak, not when I can feel my eyes start to sting.
May understands and doesn’t push; instead, she says, “Okay, well, I brought you a few things. I figured they were going to be keeping you in for a few days.” She smiles as she starts to take things out of the bags: my Kindle, some puzzle books, toiletries, clothes, the list goes on.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Cole standing awkwardly with his hands in his pockets.
May follows my line of sight and shoos him off, but he crosses the room and stands beside my bed.
He goes to lean down but thinks better of it and stands instead.
“I need to nip home for a bit, but I’ll be back later on. ”
I nod in response and watch as he leaves.
May must see the look on my face because she pats my arm. “He needs a good shower and a change of clothes, that’s all.”
I blush. As far as I’m aware, his family thinks we are just friends and aren’t aware that I harbour more than friendly feelings for him, but the look May is giving me now says otherwise.
“I know. I’m just worried because he has a lot to do before you all fly out in a couple of days.
” I sigh. “The nurse said I have to stay in for a couple of days to check me over and run some tests. I definitely won’t be flying to Vegas, that’s for sure.
” I aim for nonchalance, but it comes out a lot sadder than intended.
“I had a word with one of the nurses earlier, she said you need rest. Don’t worry about Vegas. Yes, it was a lovely idea to all go together; however, your health is more important, and no one understands that more than Emmy and Cas, okay?” I nod.
“May, can I ask you a question?” I feel so embarrassed that I don’t know what the nurse was talking about. This is something my mum, if she were here, would help me with, I’m sure.
“Of course you can, sweetheart, what is it?” She holds my hand tight, her strength and comfort seeping into me.
“The nurse said I need a scan, uhm…but she said it needs to be a t-transvaginal scan…I feel so stupid, but I don’t know what that means.” I bury my face in my hands as my cheeks scorch.
May peels away my hands and brings her face to my level.
“Lacey, there is nothing in this journey that you are now on that is embarrassing. Believe me, with six boys and five pregnancies, I am well versed in every little detail of pregnancy. Because your baby is still small and you’re not very far along, they wouldn’t be able to see anything if they scanned your stomach area.
So a transvaginal scan is one where they scan inside…
” She gives me a nod, and my eyes widen in horror.
They’re going to stick a massive fucking dildo machine inside of me?
My legs cross automatically. “Jesus. That’s so scary, May. I don’t think I can do this. I’m not equipped to be a mum, I don’t know what I’m doing, I…” My breathing speeds up, but before the familiar panic wraps around my lungs, May is there, enveloping me in her arms and stroking my hair.
“My dear, sweet Lacey. Every mum has the same thought: you’ll be okay, and we will get through this.
If you like, I’ll ask them to do the scan whilst it’s just the two of us.
And if you want me to, I’ll be there, okay?
” Through tear-streaked eyes, I nod. “Now, let’s get you to the shower so you can freshen up.
Cole didn’t do a good job of removing your makeup, so you resemble a panda! ”
She cracks up laughing at the horrified expression on my face, although something inside of me melts at the thought of Cole removing my makeup whilst I was sleeping. It’s thoughtful but also intimate, like something someone in love with you would do.
That’s just your hopeful heart.
I dislike my brain sometimes.