Chapter 13
Cole
Ihold my phone in my hand, writing and re-writing a message to Lacey, but whatever I write sounds like I’m making an excuse for my shitty behaviour, so I go for the truth.
Me
I’m sorry I didn’t text you back straight away. There isn’t any excuse…I’m a dick and I’m sorry
The little dots appear to indicate that she’s typing back, and then they stop. I watch the screen like a hawk while I wait for my brothers to come pick me up for our ‘mission’, as Archie calls it. The dots reappear, and then a message comes through; my heart rate picks up.
Lacey
Never thought my best friend would ghost me. That isn’t okay with me, Cole. That’s the second time you’ve pushed me away, there won’t be a third.
FUCK!
Me
I know and I am so sorry. I didn’t know what I was supposed to say to you. I don’t trust this guy, Lacey, not one bit. I think he’s full of shit.
Lacey
You’ve just said it! That insight would have been helpful yesterday, Cole. All I ask is that my best friend is there for me. I’ve gotta go, I can’t back out now, it’s too late. I’ll probably let you know later how it goes.
I swipe a hand down my face and regret every decision I have ever made. This was a stupid fucking idea, and I’ve most definitely made things worse.
I’m just about to call this whole thing off when I hear Archie beeping his stupid fucking horn outside. Good job, this isn’t a covert operation or anything. Rolling my eyes, I gather my things and head downstairs.
Climbing in the car, he turns to me, a giant smile on his stupid face. “You ready?”
“I’m here, aren’t I?” I deadpan. He nods and puts the car into drive.
“The others are meeting us there.”
I nod away and look out the window, praying this won’t blow up in my face.
**********
We park across the road from Sandy’s Deli Bar. It’s a nice enough place with a nautical theme, but it isn’t a patch on Irene’s. Irene makes you feel like one of the family when you visit; Sandy’s is more commercialised and run by a bunch of teenagers, it seems.
We all huddle around Archie’s car. “Okay, Cole. Rafe saw Lacey meet DBD outside, and they went in together about ten minutes ago. So I’m thinking they’re probably doing small talk right about now, so we have time to get to them before they get down to it.
” He nods furiously. If this situation wasn’t about me, then I’d be laughing my backside off.
“So what do we do?” I ask him.
“I propose that one of us, or two at a push, go in and take a table near them but not close enough for them to see us. Then we can ‘observe’ and report back.” He winks at me as he says the word ‘observe’; he’s such a dork.
Ethan pipes up, “Not a chance. There is no way I am missing out on being in there. Plus, Cole says this guy can’t be trusted, so why the hell are we letting the precious cargo be in there alone?”
“Hmm, that’s a good point. Okay, well, we can do it in shifts?” Archie shrugs, but I shake my head.
“Can we please stop fucking arguing about who is doing what and just get in there?” I’ve already set off walking before they follow, Ethan muttering a ‘for fuck sake’ under his breath.
Archie somehow reaches the door before me and dives in.
There isn’t a hostess or anyone waiting to seat you; it’s the kind of place that you can walk in and find your own seat.
He moves his head comically, looking for Lacey, but because I’m tuned in to her, I spot her easily in the back corner of the room.
DBD has a smarmy smile pasted on his face, and her back is to us.
Archie tiptoes – yes, he fucking tiptoes – across the room to hide behind a giant artificial palm tree.
He turns back to us and makes some sort of hand gesture that I take to mean we should move on up.
We creep in a line and pile in behind Archie.
Obviously, because we’re six big, grown men, people are starting to stare at us all standing there spying behind a palm tree.
Ethan steps on Rafe’s foot, and he swears and pushes him. Cas is trying to keep them both quiet, and Nate is busy texting on his phone. I turn to shush them, but Archie beats me to it.
“Will you all, please, shut the hell up! You’re going to give away our position!” He’s trying his hardest to whisper and shout at the same time.
Rafe sniggers. “Alright, Commando, calm down.” He salutes Archie, who flips him off and turns back to listen in.
“Arch, what are they saying?” I’m desperate to know.
“He’s telling her how sorry he is for fobbing her off. Something about pressure at work…” Archie turns back around, his brows knitted. “How much pressure does a lifeguard at a leisure centre get?” I twirl my finger for him to turn around and listen some more.
“Okay, now he’s telling her he regrets how they left it…
and…OH MY GOD!” He shouts this last bit and dives back as Lacey and DBD turn to look at the source of the noise.
Luckily, we’re out of eyesight, but that doesn’t stop the rest of the restaurant from staring at us like we’ve got four heads each.
“Archie! What the hell was that?” I whisper to him, but he shakes his head.
“If I tell you, then you have to promise to stay where you are.”
I give him a look that says, ‘If you don’t tell me, I’ll be shoving that palm tree where the sun doesn’t shine.' He shakes his head but gives in.
“He just asked her if she’s interested in a friends with benefits situation.”
I see red. That is the only thing to describe what happens next.
I move out of the line, ready to grab this little fucker by his neck, but Archie reaches out to try and stop me, only he misses me completely and instead collides with a server who is walking past. The tray of drinks she’s holding falls, as if in slow motion, to the ground, and when it smashes everywhere, Lacey spins round in her chair.
A look of shock registers on her face when she sees me, before that shock turns into a look of pure rage.
I gulp, actually gulp, because I realise the shit storm I am about to be in. So do my brothers, because when I turn around, they’re all making their way back, out of the restaurant.
Lacey reaches me and, with a storm in her eyes, she says one word that sends shivers down my spine. “Outside!”
I follow her out; my brothers haven’t abandoned me because they’re all standing there, heads hanging low.
“Really?” Lacey crosses her arms and levels her stare at us all.
“It was his idea!” Rafe points to Archie, and Lacey cuts him a glare that has him closing his mouth.
“Do you not trust me or something? What made you think that it was okay to ignore my text messages asking for your advice? What made you think it was okay to come here to fucking spy on me, Cole?” I go to respond, but she isn’t done yet.
“No! You don’t get to explain this away.
None of you gets to explain this away.” She turns to Cas.
“And you? Just wait till I tell Emmy about this, Cas.”
I reach forward to her, but she shrugs out of my grasp.
“Don’t touch me, Cole. You have done nothing but take from me in this so-called friendship, and I have done everything I could to support you and your decisions, regardless of who they were or what they were.
You don’t give me the decency of telling me the truth, so until you can, I’m not interested. ”
She turns and heads back inside with DBD without giving me a second glance. That fucker smiles at me, then points his fingers like a gun and blows out the imaginary smoke before pretending to holster it.
“Fucking dickbag!” Ethan shouts at him. And he is a dickbag, but then so am I because, once again, I have pushed away the only thing that’s been good for me because of my insecurities.
**********
“So, tell me about your week.”
She starts it the same way every week, and every week I relay what’s happened. This week, I’m dreading relaying anything. Sandra is skilled at her job and adept at allowing people a moment to think; she never pushes.
“I messed up badly.” That’s all I say. She writes something down and moves her hand for me to carry on. “Lacey sent me a message to tell me the baby’s biological father reached out and wanted to talk to her, for the baby’s sake.”
“Okay, and how did that make you feel?”
“Scared, scared shitless.”
“Why?”
“Because I thought that was it, I lost my chance.”
“Did you have a chance in the first place?”
“What do you mean? Of course I did! I can give her the world, both of them the world, her and the baby!” I feel anger for the first time since being here. Why does she think I don’t have a chance?
“Okay, but you didn’t have a chance, Cole, because you haven’t put yourself out there, and so there is no chance of it happening because Lacey isn’t aware that is what you want.”
Well, shit.
“Ahh, so the penny finally drops, huh?” She smiles at me, and my jaw slackens.
“My dad told me a story about how he met my mum and wasted the first two years because he didn’t feel good enough. I don’t feel good enough now, Sandra…”
“Yet you still told me you could give them both the world. Funny that, isn’t it?”
“What if I can’t love that baby like my own? What if my love for Lacey isn’t enough for the both of them? What if we do make a go of it, but he’s always there, anyway?”
“Cole, when Archie’s parents died, what did your parents do?”
I reel at the change of pace. “Well, they took him in, and then eventually they adopted him.”
“Why?”
“He had no one, and they were already friends of his parents. It was the right thing to do.”
“It was an idea born out of love for the boy. Anyone can father a child, but it isn’t DNA that gives them the title of Dad; that’s earned by the man who shows up and gives his time and effort, not the man who provided the DNA, Cole.”
“So it’s as easy as that? Just show up?”
“It’s as easy as you make it. The only person who is standing in your way…is you.”
She’s right.
If DBD wants to be in the baby’s life, then that’s fine, but he isn’t going to love them the way I will.
Now I need a plan to make it up to both of them. Lacey and Peanut.
There’s only one man for the job.
I text Archie.