RIVANs nightmare / battameez admi #2
my heart still recognized him before my mind did.
And that realization stole whatever breath I had left.
I stood there frozen.
Trembling.
Staring at him.
While my entire world tilted beneath my feet.
Then suddenly he turned around.
AUTHOR POV
The air in the room turned frigid, thick with the metallic scent of fresh blood that hit Devyani like a physical blow.
As she stepped back, her heels clicking sharply against the floor, she saw him.
Rivan stood there, a haunting silhouette in the dim light.
In his grip was a knife, the blade slick and glistening.
He wasn't just cutting; he was hacking into his own flesh with a brutal, rhythmic desperation.
Blood didn't just drip it flowed, cascading down his arm in hot, crimson ribbons that splattered onto the floor with a sickening tap, tap, tap.
His eyes were squeezed shut, his face twisted in a mask of unconscious agony, and from his lips escaped a low, guttural whisper a single phrase repeated like a broken record, a mantra of pain that echoed through the silence.
For Devyani, the world suddenly tilted.
The sight of the blood triggered a violent reaction in her soul.
Her phobia slammed into her like a tidal wave, stealing the oxygen from her lungs.
She gasped, her chest heaving, but the air felt like shards of glass.
Breathe. Please, just breathe, she pleaded with herself, but her throat had closed tight.
Tears blurred her vision, spilling over her cheeks in hot streaks.
Every instinct in her body screamed at her to flee, to run until she couldn't see the red anymore, but her heart belonged to the man who was destroying himself right in front of her.
She wanted to scream for him to stop, to throw herself on him and wrestle the blade away, but she was paralyzed.
The room began to spin.
A wave of vertigo crashed over her, making the floor feel like shifting sand.
She lurched to the side, her palm slamming against the cold, hard surface of the wall.
She gripped the wallpaper so hard her knuckles turned white, the only thing keeping her from collapsing into a heap of terror.
"P... Mr. Thakur..." she whimpered, her voice a fragile thread. "M... Mr. Thakur!"
The name tore from her throat, but it sounded small, drowned out by the thumping of her own heart which felt like a drum beating against her ribs.
Her legs were leaden, frozen in place by a primal fear.
She watched him watched the blood continue to spill and a sob broke from her chest.
Cold sweat beaded on her forehead and upper lip, her entire frame shivering uncontrollably.
She was trapped in a nightmare where her love for him was warring with her deepest fear.
The dizziness intensified, darkening the edges of her vision, but then she looked at Rivan's face the pain, the unconsciousness, the fragility of his state.
He needs me.
The thought acted like a spark in the darkness.
With a guttural cry of desperation, Devyani forced her mind to shut out the gore.
She fought the nausea rising in her throat and the instinct to faint.
She took one step.
Her leg shook so violently she nearly stumbled.
She took another.
Each inch forward felt like wading through concrete.
Her breath was coming in jagged, sobbing hitches, and her eyes were wide with terror, flickering between the knife and Rivan's pale face.
She was trembling from head to toe, her heart hammering a frantic rhythm of fear and love, but she didn't stop.
She pushed through the wall of panic, her shaking feet carrying her closer to the blood, closer to the pain, and closer to the man she couldn't bear to lose.
Devyani stood frozen near the entrance of the room.
The sight in front of her refused to register.
For a few seconds her mind simply stopped working.
RIVAN stood near the far wall.
Motionless.
His eyes closed.
One hand hanging loosely by his side.
Blood dripping steadily from his fingers onto the floor.
Drop.
Drop.
Drop.
The sound echoed louder than anything else.
And yet he seemed completely unaware of it.
Completely disconnected from reality.
His lips were moving.
Barely.
As though he was speaking to someone.
Or reliving something.
The closer Devyani moved, the clearer his whispers became.
Broken.
Hoarse.
Almost painful to hear.
Her hands immediately began shaking.
No.
No.
What was he doing?
Her heart started hammering against her ribs.
The fear she had felt moments ago vanished instantly.
Replaced by something far worse.
Panic.
Pure panic.
Tears burned her eyes before she even realized they were there.
She took another hesitant step.
Then another.
The blood on the floor made her stomach twist.
Meanwhile RIVAN continued whispering to himself.
Lost somewhere she couldn't reach.
Lost somewhere far away from this room.
Far away from reality.
Devyani's breathing became heavier.
Her chest rising and falling rapidly.
She could feel her courage abandoning her.
Could feel herself wanting to run.
To escape.
To call someone.
Anyone.
But another part of her refused.
Because no matter how angry she was...
No matter how much she hated what he had done...
At this moment
He looked broken.
Not dangerous.
Not powerful.
Not untouchable.
Broken.
And that terrified her more than anything.
A tear slipped down her cheek.
Then another.
She wiped them away immediately.
Trying to steady herself.
Trying to think.
"Move."
She whispered to herself.
Her voice trembling.
"Move, Devyani."
Another shaky breath.
"He needs help."
Her throat tightened.
"H-he needs you."
The words left her mouth before she could stop them.
As if her heart had spoken instead.
Not her mind.
For a second she closed her eyes.
Gathering whatever courage she had left.
Then suddenly
She moved.
Fast.
The moment she reached him her eyes landed on the knife.
Covered in blood.
Still clenched loosely in his hand.
Her entire body went cold.
Without wasting another second she grabbed it.
Snatched it away from him.
And threw it across the room.
The knife crashed loudly against the floor.
The sharp sound echoed through the silence.
"What the hell are you doing?!"
Her scream broke from her chest.
Raw.
Panicked.
Terrified.
"What is wrong with you?!"
But he didn't react.
Didn't even flinch.
Didn't look at her.
Nothing.
He simply stood there.
Eyes still closed.
As though he hadn't heard a word.
As though he wasn't standing in a pool of his own blood.
As though none of this was happening.
The realization made her panic even more.
"RIVAN!"
Still nothing.
Not even a response.
Her breathing became uneven.
Tears spilling freely now.
She grabbed his shoulders.
Shook him.
Hard.
"What are you doing?!"
Her voice cracked.
"Are you out of your mind?!"
Still nothing.
Then suddenly
His body moved.
Not away from her.
Toward her.
His head dropped forward.
Landing heavily against her shoulder.
The action caught her completely off guard.
For a second she forgot how to breathe.
Because this wasn't RIVAN.
Not the man she knew.
Not the man everyone feared.
Not the man who walked into rooms and owned them.
This felt like someone else.
Someone exhausted.
Someone shattered.
Someone holding on by a thread.
Devyani's eyes widened.
Then she heard it.
The whisper.
Barely audible.
Broken beyond recognition.
"Don't..."
A pause.
A shaky breath.
"Don't leave me..."
Her entire body froze.
The words struck directly into her chest.
Again.
And again.
And again.
"Don't leave me..."
The same sentence.
Repeated endlessly.
Like a prayer.
Like a nightmare.
Like a wound that refused to heal.
More tears rolled down her face.
Uncontrollably.
Because suddenly she understood.
He wasn't seeing this room.
Wasn't seeing her.
Wasn't seeing anything around him.
He was trapped somewhere inside his own mind.
And whatever memory he was reliving...
It was destroying him.
Her arms wrapped around him instinctively.
Holding him tightly.
As though she could somehow pull him back.
"It's okay."
Her voice broke.
"I'm not leaving."
Another whisper escaped him.
"Don't leave me..."
She held him tighter.
"No."
A tear slid down her cheek.
"I'm here."
His body remained tense.
Unresponsive.
Lost.
"I'm not leaving."
Her hand moved into his hair.
Trying to comfort him.
Trying to wake him.
Trying anything.
But the whispers continued.
Over and over.
Relentlessly.
"Don't leave me..."
"Don't leave me..."
"Don't leave me..."
Then suddenly Devyani felt something warm against her arm.
Her breath caught instantly.
She looked down.
And froze.
Blood.
So much blood.
Flowing from his injured hand.
Running down his wrist.
Across his fingers.
Dripping onto the floor.
Her heart nearly stopped.
The color drained from her face.
The room blurred around her.
Because while she had been trying to bring him back
He had been bleeding the entire time.
And judging by the amount of blood...
Far longer than she had realized.
Her grip tightened around him immediately.
Fear swallowing every other emotion.
"Pati ji.......pati ji..."
For the first time since entering the room
Her voice sounded truly frightened.
And the sight of that blood made one horrifying thought crash into her mind.
How long had he been standing here alone?
Getting him to the bed was far more difficult than Devyani expected.
Not because he was resisting.
Because he wasn't.
That was what terrified her the most.
RIVAN Thakur the man who never leaned on anyone, never showed weakness, never allowed anyone to see him vulnerable was barely conscious in her arms.
His entire weight rested against her.
And for the first time in her life, she realized just how big he actually was.
"Come on..."
She whispered breathlessly.
"Please..."
Her arms strained as she wrapped one around his waist and pulled his arm across her shoulders.
Step by step.
Slowly.
Carefully.
She somehow managed to drag him toward the bedroom.
The entire journey felt endless.