I want him #3
The ache inside her chest only kept growing.
After several minutes she suddenly spoke.
"Stop the car."
Zaid immediately glanced at her.
"What?"
"Stop the car."
Her voice was barely above a whisper.
Yet somehow it carried enough force to make his stomach tighten.
"Why?"
She didn't look at him.
"I want some time alone."
Zaid frowned.
"No."
That got her attention.
She slowly turned toward him.
"No?"
His grip tightened on the steering wheel.
"I'm not leaving you alone right now."
"You're not okay."
"I'm fine."
"No."
His answer came immediately.
"You're not."
Silence.
Then she spoke again.
This time firmer.
"I'm not asking you, Zaid."
Her voice cracked.
"I said stop the car."
"I need some time alone."
The desperation hidden inside those words made him finally give in.
With visible reluctance he pulled the car toward the side of a quiet road.
The moment the vehicle stopped...
Devyani opened the door and stepped out.
The evening air hit her face.
But it didn't help.
Nothing helped.
Everything felt heavy.
So unbearably heavy.
The sky above seemed larger.
The road longer.
The world quieter.
She started walking.
Without direction.
Without purpose.
Without even knowing where she was going.
One step.
Then another.
Then another.
Behind her, Zaid immediately got out.
"Devyani."
She didn't respond.
"Devyani, wait."
Nothing.
She kept walking.
Her chest hurt.
Her head hurt.
Her heart hurt most of all.
Every step felt heavier than the last.
Because now every memory looked different.
Every moment.
Every fight.
Every goodbye.
Every tear.
Everything.
She remembered the divorce papers.
The cold signatures.
The silence.
The pain.
The humiliation.
Then she remembered him sitting in that room.
Covered in scars.
Covered in wounds.
Smiling like none of it mattered.
And suddenly
The memory of that morning appeared.
The slap.
The loud sound.
The shock in his eyes.
Her breathing hitched.
She stopped walking.
Her chest tightened violently.
No.
No.
No.
Why did she do that?
Because she was angry.
Because she was hurt.
Because she had every right to be hurt.
Yet...
Knowing what she knew now...
The memory felt unbearable.
Her hand trembled.
The same hand that had slapped him.
Tears suddenly flooded her eyes.
Before she knew it they were spilling down her cheeks.
One after another.
Endlessly.
The lump in her throat grew larger.
More painful.
She wanted to scream.
Wanted to cry.
Wanted to ask someone why.
Why was everything so complicated?
Why couldn't she hate him?
Why couldn't she forgive him?
Why did her heart still hurt for him?
Why did she still care?
The questions were endless.
And there were no answers.
Behind her Zaid's voice sounded distant.
"Devyani."
She kept staring ahead.
The world slowly becoming blurry.
"Please."
"Come back."
No response.
"You're scaring me."
She couldn't hear him properly anymore.
Her heartbeat had become deafening.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Too fast.
Too loud.
Too painful.
She pressed a hand against her chest.
Trying to breathe.
Trying to calm down.
Trying to think.
But the more she tried...
The harder it became.
Her lungs suddenly felt too small.
Air refused to enter.
Her vision blurred.
The road beneath her feet seemed unstable.
Her hands began shaking uncontrollably.
Then her knees.
Then her entire body.
"Devyani."
Zaid was closer now.
Much closer.
She could hear panic in his voice.
But it sounded far away.
As though he was standing on the other side of a tunnel.
She opened her mouth.
Only one word emerged.
"H-He..."
Her voice broke.
Air wouldn't come.
Again she tried.
"He..."
Nothing.
The rest got trapped inside her throat.
Her chest tightened further.
Her breathing became shallow.
Painfully shallow.
She felt dizzy.
The sky tilted slightly.
Zaid immediately reached her.
"Devyani."
His hands gently grabbed her shoulders.
"Look at me."
She couldn't.
Her eyes stared through him.
Past him.
Into nothing.
"He..."
A sob escaped her.
"H-He..."
Her body shook violently.
The tears wouldn't stop.
Neither would the memories.
Rivan bleeding.
Rivan smiling.
Rivan apologizing.
Rivan whispering her name.
Rivan asking why she never answered.
Rivan begging her not to leave.
Every image crashed into her simultaneously.
Too much.
It was all too much.
"Calm down."
Zaid's voice had become urgent now.
"It's okay."
"You're okay."
"Look at me."
"Take a breath."
She couldn't.
Because she wasn't standing on that road anymore.
Not mentally.
She wasn't hearing him.
Wasn't seeing him.
Wasn't feeling anything except the crushing weight inside her chest.
The world around her faded.
The sounds disappeared.
The road disappeared.
Even Zaid's voice disappeared.
There was only one thing left.
One thought.
One face.
One broken man sitting alone in darkness asking a question she had never heard before.
And somewhere inside her shattered heart...
For the first time in two years...
Devyani finally broke.
Her knees finally gave out.
She collapsed onto the empty roadside before Zaid could react.
The moment she hit the ground...
Everything she had been holding inside for the past two years came crashing out.
A broken sob escaped her lips.
Then another.
Then another.
Within seconds she was crying uncontrollably.
Not silent tears.
Not the composed crying of someone trying to stay strong.
She cried like a child.
Like someone whose heart had finally shattered beyond repair.
Her shoulders shook violently.
Her breathing came in broken, painful gasps.
Her fingers clawed helplessly at the fabric of her own clothes as if trying to hold herself together.
But she couldn't.
She simply couldn't anymore.
Zaid's heart dropped.
"Devyani!"
He immediately knelt beside her, panic flashing across his face.
His hands hovered uncertainly in the air.
He didn't know whether to touch her.
Whether to give her space.
Whether to call someone.
He had never seen her like this.
Not once.
"Hey..."
His voice softened immediately.
"Devu..."
"Look at me."
"It's okay."
She didn't hear him.
Or maybe...
She couldn't.
The sobs only grew louder.
Her entire body trembled uncontrollably.
Then suddenly...
She threw herself into him.
Wrapping both arms around him with desperate strength.
As though she would drown if she let go.
Zaid froze for a second.
Then instinct took over.
He immediately wrapped his arms around her carefully.
One hand settled protectively behind her head.
The other rubbed slow circles over her trembling back.
"It's okay..."
"It's okay..."
"I'm here."
But the words weren't reaching her.
She clutched his shirt tighter.
So tightly that her knuckles turned white.
"He..."
She sobbed against his shoulder.
"He..."
Her voice cracked so badly that the word barely came out.
Zaid closed his eyes.
"Say it."
She buried her face deeper into his shoulder.
"I..."
Another sob interrupted her.
"I want..."
She couldn't finish.
She cried harder.
Hard enough that her entire body shook in his arms.
He gently stroked her hair.
"Take your time."
"No one's rushing you."
For several long moments...
There was nothing except her heartbreaking cries.
Then finally...
Between uneven breaths...
The words escaped.
"I..."
"I want to go to him..."
Zaid's hand stopped moving.
His eyes slowly closed.
His heart sank.
She tightened her grip around him even more.
"I..."
"I want him..."
Another broken sob escaped her.
"I want him..."
She repeated it again.
And again.
As though saying the words aloud finally made them real.
"I want him..."
The confession ripped through the quiet road like a blade.
Zaid felt something inside his own chest crack.
But he didn't let it show.
Not now.
Not while she was breaking apart in his arms.
He simply held her.
Steady.
Silent.
Strong.
Devyani cried uncontrollably.
"I hate him..."
She sobbed.
"I hate him so much..."
Another sob.
"But..."
Her breathing became ragged again.
"It hurts..."
"It hurts so much..."
"I can't..."
"I can't see him like this..."
Fresh tears streamed endlessly down her cheeks.
Rivan asking for love like an innocent child.
She grabbed fistfuls of Zaid's shirt.
Almost desperately.
"He was alone..."
She whispered through tears.
"He was all alone..."
"I wasn't there..."
"I wasn't there when he needed me..."
Her voice broke completely.
"I should've been there..."
"I should've known..."
"I should've..."
She couldn't finish.
The guilt was suffocating her.
Every breath felt heavier than the last.
Her whole body continued trembling violently.
She wasn't just crying anymore.
She was grieving.
Grieving the two years they had both lost.
Grieving the pain neither of them had seen in the other.
Grieving the love that had somehow survived beneath all the anger.
Zaid rested his chin lightly against the top of her head.
His own eyes had become red.
Not because he didn't understand.
But because...
He finally did.
For the first time...
He understood why no matter how much she smiled with him...
There had always been a part of her that remained untouched.
A part that still belonged to only one man.
And no matter how much it hurt him to accept it...
That place had never stopped belonging to Rivan Thakur.