I want him #2
"'Neither will he.'"
Silence swallowed the room.
I didn't know when I had started crying openly.
My vision blurred completely.
The man I had spent two years hating...
The man I had convinced myself never cared...
Had been fighting battles I hadn't even known existed.
Alone.
Bleeding.
Breaking.
Every single night.
My heart hurt so badly that I instinctively pressed my hand against my chest.
As if I could stop it from breaking too.
For the first time since hearing everything...
Hatred no longer remained.
Only grief.
Only helplessness.
And one unbearable question echoed inside my mind.
How much pain had he hidden...
...while I believed he had simply stopped loving me?
Arav took a long breath before continuing.
"Then..."
"One day..."
"Everything changed."
I looked at him through my blurred vision.
"What happened?"
He slowly shook his head.
"That's the strange part, Ma'am."
"I still don't know."
"I don't know what happened."
"I don't know who spoke to him."
"I don't know what he saw."
"But one morning..."
"...he simply woke up different."
My eyebrows furrowed.
"Different?"
He nodded.
"Completely different."
"It was as if he had made some decision overnight."
"A decision so firm..."
"...that even I couldn't recognize him anymore."
I stayed silent, listening to every single word.
"He started waking up before sunrise."
"The first thing he did every morning was go to the gym."
"He trained like a man possessed."
"No excuses."
"No breaks."
"Hours and hours."
"Until his hands bled."
"Until every muscle in his body gave up."
"And then..."
"He'd start again."
I could almost picture him.
Sweat dripping from his forehead.
His jaw clenched.
His eyes carrying that same determination I had always known.
Only now...
There was something darker behind it.
"He completely changed his routine."
"He started eating properly."
"He stopped drinking."
"He became disciplined."
"Every minute of his day had a purpose."
"If he wasn't working..."
"He was training."
"If he wasn't training..."
"He was reading."
"If he wasn't reading..."
"He was expanding his business."
"There wasn't a single second he allowed himself to stay idle."
I frowned.
"Why?"
Arav smiled bitterly.
"I asked him the same question."
"And do you know what he replied?"
I slowly shook my head.
"He said..."
"'If I stop moving...'"
"'I'll start remembering.'"
My heart clenched painfully.
I lowered my eyes.
He wasn't running toward success.
He was running away from his own memories.
Arav continued quietly.
"Slowly..."
"The weak, broken man disappeared."
"The old Rivan Thakur returned."
"But..."
He paused.
"No."
"He didn't return."
"He became someone even stronger."
"More powerful."
"More disciplined."
"More ruthless."
"More determined."
"There was a different hunger inside him."
"A hunger that never disappeared."
"He built businesses."
"He expanded the empire."
"He became untouchable."
"People stopped questioning him."
"They only feared him."
"He barely smiled."
"He barely laughed."
"But every decision he made..."
"...was perfect."
I could feel tears burning my eyes again.
"So..."
"He healed?"
Arav looked at me for a long moment.
Then he quietly shook his head.
"No."
"He only learned how to hide it."
The words settled inside my chest like stone.
"He became better at controlling himself."
"The nightmares became less frequent."
"They weren't happening every single night anymore."
"But..."
"They never disappeared."
"Some nights..."
"He still woke up screaming."
"Some nights..."
"He'd unknowingly reopen old wounds."
"Some nights..."
"He'd whisper the same name over and over."
He looked directly at me.
My breathing stopped.
"He never stopped calling you 'Kitten.'"
"He never stopped apologizing."
A small smile appeared on Arav's face.
Instinctively, my eyes dropped to my own trembling hands.
For two years...
I had believed I was the only one carrying our marriage inside my heart.
I had been wrong.
Very, very wrong.
Arav leaned back in his chair.
"I still don't know what made him change."
"I've asked him countless times."
"He never answered."
"He simply smiled..."
"...and kept moving forward."
"He buried his pain beneath discipline."
"He buried his guilt beneath success."
"He buried his loneliness beneath power."
"But buried things..."
He gave me a sad smile.
"...never truly disappear."
"They only wait for the right moment..."
"...to rise again."
silence settled over the room.
A heavy, suffocating silence.
No one spoke.
No one moved.
I simply sat there, staring at the floor while countless emotions fought inside my heart.
Everything I had believed for the last two years...
Everything I had hated him for...
Everything I had convinced myself was true...
Suddenly didn't seem so simple anymore.
Arav quietly stood from his chair, stretching his stiff shoulders.
He looked at both of us before letting out a tired sigh.
"That's all, Ma'am."
His voice was calm now.
"I don't have anything else to tell you."
"I've told you everything I know."
He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.
"The rest..."
"...only Sir can answer."
I slowly lifted my head.
There were still so many questions.
So many things I wanted to ask.
But somehow...
My lips refused to move.
Arav glanced at the wall clock.
His eyes widened.
"Oh, shit."
Both Zaid and I looked at him in confusion.
He slapped his forehead dramatically.
"I'm dead."
I blinked.
"What happened?"
He pointed toward the ceiling as though the answer was obvious.
"Sir."
"He gave me work."
"He specifically told me to buy that ice cream parlour before tonight."
He looked genuinely horrified.
"And I'm still sitting here giving emotional speeches."
He looked at me with folded hands.
"Ma'am..."
"I respectfully request..."
"Please let me leave."
"If I don't reach there on time..."
"...Mr. Rivan Thakur won't kill me."
"He'll bury me alive."
Zaid snorted.
"You exaggerate too much."
Arav immediately turned toward him.
"I wish I was exaggerating."
"You don't know him."
"If Sir says he'll bury someone..."
"He first buys the land."
"For legal purposes."
Despite everything...
Despite the tears still clinging to my lashes...
A tiny laugh escaped my lips.
Arav pointed at me dramatically.
"See?"
"That's the smile Sir has been trying to bring back."
"Mission accomplished."
I quickly wiped my eyes, embarrassed.
Arav smiled softly before walking toward the door.
Just as he reached it, he stopped and looked back at me.
His expression turned serious once again.
"Ma'am..."
I looked up.
"If possible..."
"Don't hate him without listening to him once."
"Whether you forgive him or not..."
"That's entirely your decision."
"But..."
"He has been punishing himself for two years."
"I don't think there's any punishment left that the world can give him."
With those final words, he gave a small nod.
"Now..."
He opened the door.
"If you'll excuse me..."
"I have an ice cream parlour to buy before my boss decides my funeral arrangements."
Muttering to himself, he hurried out of the room.
"I swear..."
"People think underworld work is dangerous."
"It's not."
"Working under Rivan Thakur is."
The door clicked shut behind him.
And once again...
Silence filled the room.
Only this time...
It felt far heavier than before.
Devyani sat there motionless.
Completely motionless.
The room had long fallen silent after Arav left.
The chair beneath her felt cold.
The air felt heavy.
Even breathing felt difficult.
Yet she remained exactly where she was.
Not speaking.
Not moving.
Not crying.
Just sitting.
As though her mind had forgotten how to function.
The information kept replaying inside her head again and again and again.
Like a broken record she couldn't switch off.
Rivan sitting alone in darkness.
Rivan locking himself away.
Rivan hurting himself.
Rivan waking up without remembering.
Rivan disappearing.
Rivan spending an entire year destroying himself.
Rivan whispering her name in his sleep.
Every memory collided violently with the image she had carried for two years.
The image of a man who had abandoned her.
A man who had moved on.
A man who had forgotten.
That image was cracking now.
Breaking apart piece by piece.
And she didn't know what to do with the truth underneath it.
Across from her, Zaid watched quietly.
At first he had tried speaking.
Tried distracting her.
Tried asking if she wanted water.
Food.
Anything.
But eventually he had stopped.
Because the look in her eyes scared him.
She wasn't crying anymore.
She wasn't angry anymore.
She simply looked...
Lost.
As though someone had taken the ground beneath her feet.
An entire hour passed.
Then another few minutes.
Finally Zaid sighed softly.
"Devyani."
No response.
"Devyani."
Slowly she blinked.
Her eyes shifted toward him.
But they looked distant.
Far away.
Like she wasn't entirely present.
"It's been hours."
His voice was gentle.
"Come."
"Let's go home."
Home.
The word felt strange.
What even was home anymore?
Without speaking she slowly stood.
Her movements felt robotic.
Automatic.
Like someone else was controlling her body.
Zaid immediately rose and followed her.
Neither of them spoke while walking toward the car.
The drive began in complete silence.
The city moved around them.
People walked.
Cars passed.
Life continued.
But Devyani barely saw any of it.
Her gaze remained fixed outside the window.
Lost somewhere far away.
Every few seconds another memory appeared.
The way Rivan had smiled when she fed him.
The way he called Yashodha "Maa."
The way he had looked terrified after seeing his injured hand.
The way he had murmured
"Don't leave me."
Her throat tightened painfully.
She looked away from the window.
Then looked back.
Then looked down.
Nothing helped.