Chapter 21 Hailey
HAILEY
After breakfast, Hailey and the kids had cleaned up while Ransom cleared the driveway and a path to her place. The snow had finally stopped falling, and the road crews would be out soon to clear the way for people to do their holiday visiting.
But Ransom and the kids insisted that she stay for the day since her power was still out.
So now she sat on the floor by the Christmas tree with the kids, helping them put together a train set while Ransom sat on the sofa untangling a spare set of Christmas lights they were planning to put out on the porch.
He was still being oddly distant, but he didn’t exactly seem angry. And she believed him when he told her he wanted her to stay.
As Hailey unpacked pieces of track from the train box, “White Christmas” played on the radio in the kitchen, the nostalgic strains just carrying into the living room and adding a sense of peace to the perfect Christmas Eve scene before her.
Mae held the little train’s engine upside down and examined its wheels, while Shadow stood behind her, observing her every move as if there might be a test later.
Travis was busily laying down track. Hailey couldn’t help noticing how he stopped and used one of the cars to test the design every time he put down another piece.
He’s so cautious, she couldn’t help thinking.
In some ways, it was refreshing to see a kid his age being so thoughtful and careful. But it also made her sad to think he was worrying so much about making a mistake while he was playing.
“You’re doing such a great job,” she assured him.
“I don’t want the train to go off the tracks,” he said worriedly.
Me neither, Travis, she thought to herself. Though she wasn’t really thinking about the little train, but her own fool heart.
“What if it did?” she asked.
“It might break,” he said, frowning.
“Well, it’s plastic,” she said. “And it’s on the rug, so I think it would be okay.”
He nodded, the furrow in his brow smoothing a little.
“If it doesn’t go off the track it’ll go really fast,” he said softly as he laid down another piece of track. “And that will make Mae laugh.”
Hailey was pretty sure Mae would laugh even harder if the train did go off the track. But his big brotherly instincts were so admirable that she didn’t want to say so.
“You’re a really great big brother, aren’t you?” she asked him.
“Well, it’s our job to look out for each other,” he said, shrugging. “And I’m bigger.”
“I think you’re both pretty lucky,” she told him.
“Who’s lucky?” Mae asked, crawling over with Shadow at her heels.
“You and your brother,” Hailey told her. “You’ll always have each other.”
Mae shrugged and turned away, making Hailey wonder what that was all about.
“Won’t we?” Travis asked his little sister.
“Daddy is mad at Aunt Willow,” Mae said lightly. “Grandma told Aunt Rhonda so. And that’s his little sister.”
Hailey turned to the sofa, wondering if Ransom had heard that.
“I was mad at her,” Ransom said softly. “But I’m not anymore.”
“What if Travis gets mad at me?” Mae asked, putting her engine down on the rug, her eyes suddenly filling with tears.
“Then you’ll both do a better job making things right than I did,” Ransom said, getting right down on the floor with her. “You’ll talk to each other, right?”
“Travis was mad when I broke his remote-control car,” Mae whispered.
“And then you told him you were really sorry,” Ransom said gently. “And what happened next?”
“He h-hugged me,” Mae sobbed, collapsing against her daddy’s chest.
“It’s okay to get mad at each other,” Ransom told them, lightly stroking Mae’s back.
“It’s what you do when you feel angry that matters most. When I got mad at Aunt Willow we both went away, and we didn’t talk about it for a long time.
And that was worse than what we were mad about. Does that make sense?”
“Why did you both go away?” Travis asked suddenly.
“Well, that was when we were in the service,” Ransom told him. “So we didn’t really have a choice.”
Travis nodded slowly, his eyes still on the piece of track in his hands.
They were all silent for a moment and it hit Hailey that all three of them were probably thinking about the one thing they weren’t saying.
Their mother went away.
She knew the subject probably needed to come up, but maybe it was odd to talk about in front of someone who wasn’t part of the family.
But if she got up and left, she might break the spell of openness that seemed to have fallen over Ransom’s little family.
Mae peeled herself off Ransom’s chest after a moment and went back to her engine.
Travis laid down another piece of track and used his car to test it out.
“I’m going to put on some tea,” Ransom said, getting up.
Hailey watched the kids for a minute, but it was clear that they were back on task, so she got up too and headed into the kitchen.
Ransom stood by the sink, filling the copper teakettle. Though his eyes were fixed on the snowy scene out the window, the expression on his face said he was miles away.
“Hey,” Hailey said softly. “Everything okay?”
“Hey,” he said, heading to the stove and shrugging.
“They’re not just thinking about each other or their Aunt Willow,” she guessed.
“They’re thinking about their mother,” he said flatly. “I haven’t gotten one thing right since the day you and I broke up, you know that?”
“We broke up?” she asked, quirking an eyebrow.
He looked up at her in surprise.
“I’m just saying,” she said, shrugging. “I don’t remember us breaking up. I remember you dumping me like a sack of wet cement. Right before prom.”
“Oh, Hailey,” he said softly. “I’m so sorry. I’ve always been sorry.”
“I was kidding,” she told him, feeling mortified that he still felt sorry for her, even though she still felt the hurt all these years later. “Obviously, you had every right to break up with me and go live your life. We were just kids.”
The words were bitter in her mouth, though. She hadn’t felt like a kid.
“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve never stopped thinking about you,” he said, his eyes glued to the kettle, as if he couldn’t bear to look at her while he spoke.
If that was true, it was an oddly fatalistic way to say it when they were here together, both single, and living right next door.
Maybe he doesn’t mean it. He’s just being nice. Or he still thinks of me, but not in that way.
In any case, she wasn’t going to beg.
“We all have parts of our past we wish had gone differently,” she said carefully. “The important thing, like you said, is what we do about it now.”
He nodded slowly.
“So, you’re making things right with Willow,” she said. “What about Jensen?”
“I actually bumped into him the other day at the library,” Ransom said, looking up at her at last. “We’ve been texting a little here and there.”
“That’s amazing,” she told him. “Have you two had it out?”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Well, it’s one thing to smooth things over,” she said. “But he was your best friend. You two grew up together. If something went wrong enough to push you apart for years you probably need to talk about it as soon as you can, or things won’t ever be the same.”
Ransom frowned and lifted the hissing kettle from the burner.
She was tempted to argue her point, but she figured his own conscience would do a much better job than she ever could. And she could see he was thinking about it from the look on his face as he poured hot water into just one of the mugs before replacing the kettle.
“I got a text a couple of hours ago from Cal Cassidy that the roads are cleared,” he said, handing her the mug. “I know it’s an imposition, but would you mind keeping an eye on the kids for a little while?”
“I’d be glad to,” she told him, honored that he trusted her with them. “I’ll take good care of them and call you right away if we have any questions.”
“I know you will,” he said, smiling warmly at her.
“Where are you headed?” she asked him.
“I think I’m going to take your advice,” he said gruffly.
At first she wasn’t sure what he meant.
“You’re going to see Jensen Webb?” she asked him.
“Yeah,” he told her, with a big grin. “He mentioned that he wanted to talk about something tomorrow. Maybe he wants to have it out, like you said. Anyway, I don’t want to wait another minute to make things right.”
Hailey and the kids spent the rest of the day baking chocolate chip cookies and decorating the front porch while the dogs played in the snow. It was a fun and peaceful time, and if Travis and Mae were disappointed that their dad wasn’t around, they didn’t complain.
Mostly, they talked and laughed and ate more raw dough than they probably should have.
“Daddy will be so surprised when he sees the decorations,” Mae said happily as they all stepped back to admire their handiwork.
The boughs of greenery Ransom had bought earlier in the week were draped over the handrail and they had twined lights and hung balls from the pine branches once they were in place, before adding red velvet ribbons.
“I think so too,” Hailey told her.
“And he’ll eat lots of cookies,” Travis added.
“He sure will,” Hailey said. “As a matter of fact, I think we probably deserve a break to drink hot chocolate and eat cookies and watch a Christmas movie.”
That earned her cheering from the pair that had quickly become her two favorite kids in the world.
They called the dogs to come in, and headed inside to prepare their feast of snacks.
“Which movie should we watch this time?” she asked them.
But they couldn’t decide.
“How about an old one?” she offered. “Would you like to try Miracle on 34th Street?”
The kids were ready to try something new and Hailey soon lost herself in the beautiful old movie with the sweet message.
But all the hard work and fresh air must have worn the little ones out. By the time the front door opened, they were both sound asleep on the sofa.
“Hey,” she said softly, waving to Ransom.
His responding smile told her everything she needed to know about how things had gone with Jensen, but she slid out from under the kids, tucking a few throw pillows under their heads, and followed him into the kitchen.
“How was it?” she asked, watching him pace back and forth.
“It was… wild,” he said, stopping to turn to her. “I don’t know where to begin.”
“Was he surprised to see you?” she asked.
“You could say that,” he said, his eyebrows lifting. “And so was Willow.”
“Willow,” she echoed. “What was she doing there?”
He sighed and shook his head, running a hand through his dark hair before answering.
“I guess they’re together now,” he said. “Or at least, they want to be.”
“Did you know?” she asked. This was dangerous territory for sure. She remembered how protective Ransom had always been of his baby sister.
“No,” he said. “I mean, I knew she always had a crush on him, but I didn’t know they were back in touch now. Or that they were actually serious about each other.”
Hailey nodded, wondering how he had taken that information.
“I kind of freaked out at first,” he admitted. “And I still don’t really love the idea.”
Hailey nodded. That tracked.
“But I’m okay with it,” he said right away. “I have to be. And also… I know Jensen. I know he’ll be good to her.”
“You’ve come a long way, Ransom,” Hailey told him, meaning it.
“I have to do even better,” he said, his eyes so serious. “I can’t just do my best. I have to be an example to the kids. The stuff they were saying earlier…”
“I know,” she said softly. “But they’re still figuring stuff out, and it’s good that they’re learning from a father who can show them what it means to make a mistake and put things right, and show them that you’re a good man.”
“Do you really think I’m a good man?” he asked.
His dark eyes sank into her heart and she could still see the boy he had been, deep inside the man he was now. Both were passionate and goodhearted. But one had the benefit of experience.
She still loved them both.
“Of course I think you’re a good man,” she told him.
He nodded and then looked away, as if he had read her feelings in her eyes. She was ready to open her heart, but he clearly didn’t feel the same way.
“I… guess I should get back to my place,” she told him. “I’ve got some work to do.”
“Of course, yeah,” he told her. “Your power is back on. Lights were on at the big house when I passed. I meant to tell you.”
“That’s great,” she said. “I figured the power company might not get out until after the holiday.”
“We’re not that far out in the boonies,” Ransom teased. “I’ll walk you out.”
They headed to the living room, and she took one last look at the kids curled up on the sofa and the dogs gathered around the fire. Henrietta was in the pool with her pups and the others were spread out around it, as if in solidarity.
“Come back and say hi tomorrow,” Ransom said. “I have no idea if Mom and Aunt Rhonda will make it, but I think we’ll have some other guests.”
“Thanks,” she told him, knowing as she pulled on her boots and coat that she wouldn’t.
The best thing I can do is stay far, far away from Ransom Wright, she thought to herself sadly as she headed outside.
“See you later,” she called over her shoulder.
As she picked her way down the shoveled path between the pines, all she wanted to do was turn back and see if he was still standing there, watching over her.
But she kept her eyes on the path in front of her.
No good ever came of dwelling on the past.