12. Brad
12
brAD
I ’d have followed Dylan anywhere he wanted to go. He might not have known it — or, hell, maybe he did — but I would have. There was this look on his face as we stood there watching the band, like he was seeing something new and incredible for the very first time. A wide-eyed sort of wonder as he stared at the musicians.
To me, it sounded okay . Nothing I’d have gone out of my way for, but something one of my uncles might have listened to. A little folky for my taste. Long ago, however, I’d learned to stop questioning the way Dylan felt about things.
Micah and a dozen other people may have thought he was weird , or even thought it was weird for us to embrace him into our group, but they just didn’t see him the same way. Dylan was sensitive, a soul that saw things others might not have.
I stood next to him, and while he watched the musicians, I watched Dylan. The night before kept playing over and over in my mind, seeing him spread out for me like that. The way he felt around me and asked for more. I wished I’d taken the time to enjoy him anyway, despite his requests. If only I’d have asked him to let me eat him out or press my fingers inside him, just to savor more of him.
Because truthfully, I didn’t know if it would ever happen again. We hadn’t talked about it, so what if it was just a fluke? When I woke up, I’d been pressed so close to him that it made my head swim and I said the first thing that popped into my head. Showering. Of all things.
There had been a flash of surprise on his pretty face, and as soon as I realized, I wanted to take it all back and say something so much more amazing. I was an idiot, though, and just a split second after, his expression returned to normal and he rolled out of from under me to shower.
Even then, I realized too late that I could have salvaged it by jumping into the shower with him or something , surprising him and letting him know I didn’t feel weird about the night before. That, on the contrary, it had been incredible. I’d continued to be an idiot, though, thinking about him as I lay in bed instead of doing something about it.
As we stood there, all I could think about was the way he’d felt against me, and how much I wanted to kiss him again. His lips were so soft, and I wanted to know if he’d let me. I didn’t want everyone else to know about it, not when I didn’t know what the hell it all meant myself.
“They play well?” I asked, trying my best to stop thinking about how much I wanted to kiss him in front of everyone.
Dylan spared me a glance. “Yeah…they’re so cool.” He said it with that sound of awe and respect still in his voice.
They looked like middle-aged guys. Fine, but nothing particularly cool or notable. Dylan was the one in music production. Maybe they had some talent I just didn’t know how to appreciate.
“You look really happy.” Why did I say that? Was I implying he looked miserable usually? Or that I was staring at him too hard? I didn’t want to come off weird.
Why the hell hadn’t we just talked this morning? Why was I such an idiot?
Why was I overthinking everything?
Dylan laughed and turned to look at me. “I don’t know, I guess I am.”
I watched him for a silent moment and then glanced again to see where everyone else in the group went off to. They were well ahead of us, taking in other stalls and vendors. No one was watching us.
“Me too.” I brushed a hand over his cheek, trying my best to give him the chance to ask me to back off or push me away.
He just watched me, something in his expression I couldn’t read. I leaned in before I could talk my stupid brain into doing anything dumber than I already had, and our lips met again. Despite being in a crowd, there was still that sensation of everything going all quiet around us. Like nothing flawed the bubble we’d built around ourselves as soon as I kissed him.
Dylan tilted his head and lifted himself onto his toes for an easier kiss, and I wrapped my arms around his waist. He felt so small and weightless in my arms, and I kissed him over and over. Trying my best to convey what I felt with every motion, every piece of us that touched. Since I couldn’t trust my words.
He was the one who pulled away, an embarrassed laugh slipping out.
Only then I noticed people looking at us, and someone clapped. A couple of other people joined in, and I realized why he’d gotten shy. What did it say that I was oblivious to everything and everyone around me when we kissed and he was still so aware?
“Sorry…I just wanted to do that all day.”
His lips pressed together for a moment, like he was considering. “Don’t apologize, Brad…please.”
Did I say something wrong again?
He turned away from the band. Somehow the magic broke, and he walked off toward the group. I sighed, trying for a moment to gather my composure.
Was he pissed off that I’d kissed him in public? That I’d kissed him at all ? Or maybe he wasn’t unhappy. Maybe he was just nervous about leaving people behind in a foreign city and it had nothing to do with the kiss.
Shaking my head, I tried to ignore it. It didn’t do me any good to think — clearly. I was just making a continual idiot of myself in front of Dylan and all of Rome.
Things didn’t seem to change much, and Dylan went back to visiting random stalls as we caught up with everyone else. Jason waved me over with Alex to point out some art with Greek letters. “Should we get some for the house?” he asked, laughing.
They were Greek letters, but cute little flowers and bunnies also surrounded them. Maybe not our usual style.
Alex laughed. “We definitely should. And put them out for the freshmen for rush.”
I shook my head. “They are kind of cute. They could decorate our chapter meetings along with Chad’s girlfriend’s bra and Micah’s thong, right?”
It was a tradition that someone — usually a freshman — would get dared to retrieve something of our fellow brothers’ significant others. Once we had a stolen dildo of one guy’s girlfriend sit in with us at the chapter meetings, but when he graduated, he took it with him, which made us all laugh and beg the maintenance staff to sanitize a couple of times.
“Shh! Micah doesn’t know about that yet,” Jason said, glancing behind him like he was waiting for him to appear.
“Just wait, Alex, you’re next. I wish you luck trying to get anything of Shane’s without him noticing. He has eyes like a hawk.” I tutted, like it was a shame.
Alex shrugged a shoulder. “I have my ways. Besides, we’re all kidding ourselves if we think Shane wouldn’t already have this insight from sleeping with half the house already.”
“ Hello , fuck you.” Shane chimed, hand on his hip.
Alex looked stricken. “ Why didn’t one of you warn me he was there? ”
“Just happened, man.” Jason shrugged like it was out of his hands.
Shane’s eyes narrowed.
“Baby…I’m sorry, I was just joking. You know I love you.” Alex went over to him, his arms out like he was trying to make it up to him.
Shane rolled his eyes. “Get fucked, Alex. Because your slut boyfriend won’t be doing it for a while.”
Charlie’s eyes got as big as saucers, and Theo laughed, putting a hand on Shane’s shoulder. “Okay, tiger, calm down. It was a dumb comment, but you love him more than you hate him.”
A withering glare caused Theo to pull his hand back off of his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, baby, really. I didn’t mean it like it sounded.” Alex carried on.
Sighing, I bought a few versions of Lambda Xi Alpha. Alex and Shane were off, Alex groveling for forgiveness while Shane kept getting annoyed every other second. Not the kind of relationship I’d want, but they both loved to argue and they both loved to be right. So maybe somehow it worked for them.
It was a well-known drawback of frats, however, that when we got together, we got infinitely dumber.
“Alex isn’t usually that rude,” Dylan said, frowning.
I glanced at him. Where had he appeared from?
“You’d be surprised,” Jason laughed, winking.
Dylan looked at me. It was as if for one perfect moment I could read his thoughts: if Alex is that different, what’s Brad like behind frat house doors?