13. Dylan
13
DYLAN
B rad avoiding being seen with me cut deeper than I expected it to. I thought I already knew he wouldn’t want anyone we knew to see us together. We could be friends, but that was all. Even if I thought that was obvious, however, my heart didn’t seem to be on the same page.
Did I even want more than friends? I wasn’t sure, but maybe it was for the best. Brad would go on and do so many great things that we were probably best left as only friends. Nothing would become tainted, nothing would become ruined, as some failed attempt at something once upon a time.
It still hurt, though, when he had to look around before kissing me at the festival. It still hurt when he said he was sorry. I didn’t want him to be sorry, because it all sounded like regrets and remorse and guilt.
When we went back to the hotel, I said little and just crawled under the covers, laying near the edge of the bed. I wasn’t trying to punish him, but I didn’t want to deal with the confusion of what the hell was going to happen if we shared a bed and got too close again. How he’d laugh and smell so nice and then tomorrow would resume like nothing.
The morning came, mercifully, without Brad pressed against me. If I paid attention, that hurt a little bit too. I slunk down to breakfast while Brad was still in the shower. It was a nice buffet, and I grabbed the special — croissants with gelato inside. Indulgent for some, maybe, but there was nothing like starting off a day with a good sugar rush.
Shane and Alex were sitting at one of the impeccable tables, on better terms than yesterday. Not surprising. After they got things together and date, they seemed to get over their fights pretty easily. Even if I still thought Alex was rude.
“Hey.” I sat down with them. Shane was just having coffee, Alex’s plate was loaded with the same as me — he had an incurable sweet tooth.
“Hi, Dylan,” Shane said, taking a drink. “How’s the room treating you?”
I shrugged. Did he know it was only one bed? “It’s cool. Comfortable bed…swanky gold curtains, I dig it.”
His lips twitched in amusement, like he was wondering, but didn’t want to say it outright. Whatever he might have been about to add, however, fell promptly dead when Theo and Charlie appeared with their plates, all smiles and sunshine around them.
Everyone started talking about what they wanted to do or see in Rome since they were here, and I got lost in the middle of it. Micah and Jason joined, and it only got more noisy. When Brad came down, he didn’t look any different from usual, didn’t act any different, but I noticed he tried to catch my eye more than once.
I glanced back, but wasn’t sure what he was trying to get at. He made it clear he didn’t want anyone to know, and that was fine. It really was. I didn’t care. Knowing Brad as well as I did, he was overthinking every little thing and making it into something it wasn’t. The more distance I got from the situation, the more it all felt like I’d blown it up, too. It was a fuck between friends, that was all.
“Okay, so I guess that’s decided. This is the last day for Rome, so we’re breaking off to do our own things?” Shane asked, eyebrow arched as he looked at each of us.
Huh? Was that what they were talking about? It didn’t matter to me, but now that it was left open, what was I supposed to do?
“Yeah, Charlie and I are going to a bookstore and then the beach…I want to try out the surf, he wants the books,” Theo supplied.
Could he read Italian?
“Alex and I are going shopping.” Shane took a drink of his coffee.
“We are?” Alex laughed.
“Mhm. I’ll buy you gelato and you’ll like it.”
I could see where this was going. “Micah? Jason?” I asked.
“Oh, we might go to some museums?” Micah said, looking at Jason for confirmation.
Jason shrugged. “Anywhere with you, babe.”
They smiled at each other, like they were the only two people in the world.
I cleared my throat, trying to avoid that one.
“Dylan, stop drumming on the table, man,” Theo said with a laugh.
I stilled, not aware I was doing it. “Sorry. Well, Brad, I guess we’re stuck to our own devices. Unless you want to third wheel and ruin someone’s good time.”
Brad stuffed more bread into his mouth, shrugging. Once he’d choked it down, he just said, “Cool.”
Conversation moved on from there. We’d head to Berlin tomorrow and Shane reassured us he’d gotten us the tickets for a music festival, so we didn’t need to worry about it or plan anything for Germany.
With that, everyone finished breakfast and dispersed. Micah and Jason slipped back up to their room, and part of me doubted they were ever going to see a museum. I wasn’t sure they ever did anything but fuck.
Brad and I were left at the table. “So…what do you want to do?” he asked, that bright smile of his on his face.
I licked my lips, trying to figure it out. Part of me wanted to bring up yesterday, but I didn’t want to bother. Whatever, we’d figure it out or we wouldn’t. “Well…there’s that fountain. That seems cool?” I’d seen it in a bunch of movies, and I didn’t know what else I wanted to see aside from pizza.
“Okay, fountain it is.”
The Trevi fountain was packed, but I hardly noticed. I was just struck by the fountain itself. It was so beautiful, such a testament to the craftsmanship and work that went into it. People loved the fountain. They crowded around just wanting a piece of memory of it for themselves.
Incredible. Just the level of detail on it. Had I ever seen anything so beautiful? Had Frankie ever come to Italy? Did he also stand here amazed at the beauty before him? Did he make a wish?
“What do they do with all the wishing coins?” I asked, tilting my head.
“Huh?”
I looked at Brad and wondered what he was thinking about, since he was looking right at me. “The coins…the ones people wish on.” I pointed to the fountain. “What do they do with them? If they left them, I imagine it would be overflowing with money by now.”
“Oh…good question. Do you want to make a wish?”
I hummed and pulled out my phone — I needed to know what happened with the coins. “It’s used to help the poor…huh. Cool.” What an impressive fountain.
Brad laughed. “That is cool.” He handed me a coin.
“The proper way is to throw with your right hand over your left shoulder.” I didn’t want him to do it wrong. That would be a shame, like maybe if you didn’t, your wish wouldn’t be granted.
I turned, thinking hard for a moment. So many thoughts passed through my mind. So many possibilities, but only one thing I wanted more than any other at the moment. I wish Brad won’t abandon me. I wish he’ll stay part of my life in some way . Closing my eyes tightly, I tossed the coin over my left shoulder, hoping beyond hope that somehow this beautiful fountain would hear my pleas.
I couldn’t handle more people leaving.