34. Brad
34
brAD
B y the time we walked up the ramp to get on the boat, it was already filled with loud, thumping music and people. Someone got invited to a boat party on the river, and we were just going along with it. Legend was still out on who had arranged anything, but no one really cared. My money was on Shane, but he didn’t seem inclined to take credit.
Either way, there were drinks and a nice view, so no one was complaining. I was content with the moment of waking up with Dylan all wrapped around me, and I kept trying to hide a smile every now and again as I thought more about the sensation of having him around me. He’d always occupied so many of my thoughts, and now it was almost too much to think about.
Shane pressed a drink into my hand with a dangerous smile. “This’ll be fun,” he said, almost in that threatening way of his. Like he was determined to make us have a good time.
If we didn’t, the jury was out on what he’d do. Probably nothing, but he wouldn’t be happy about it. I took the drink and slammed it back, realizing too late that it wasn’t just beer. Whatever, it was boozy and would get me drunk faster, which could mean more fun.
Or it could make me do something dumb in front of everyone.
Dylan wandered off to go see the DJ, already lost in his own very Dylan world. It was a world that I was part of, always had been, but now in an even more intimate way. There were still plenty of things that I didn’t even know about this world of his. I liked that — it was fun to be left guessing and wondering what he was going off to do any moment.
Jason and Alex swarmed me, and they raised their cups to mine. “Lambda!” We yelled and slammed down the burning drinks.
For almost the first time, it crossed my mind that we would have to return to SVU. Sure, it should have been obvious, but more than anything, it left me wondering what the hell that would mean. Would anything change from this trip? Dylan and I agreed to keep things a secret for a while, but did that extend to the new year?
I didn’t have an answer. He probably didn’t either.
Taking a deep breath, I wondered what the hell Lambda would make of it. Dylan was ingrained in our world, already part of us on the periphery, showing up to all our parties that non-members could attend. We had some ridiculous traditions, by most people’s standards, like the panties during the chapter meetings. Would he understand if I dragged something personal of his to one of those? Would he find it weird? Weirder than he found everything about the frat, at least.
I tried not to think about it too hard.
Shane pulled Theo out onto the dance floor, and my eyebrows raised in surprise. They used to dance together all the time. Shane would pull Theo along whenever they’d go out. Usually, it was part of a greater ploy to get some guy to notice him, but it was nice to see them return to it. Theo shook his head and kept his usual respectful distance, which Shane almost immediately broke.
Charlie shifted, and Micah shook his head.
“Come on, Charlie. Don’t get weird just because your man candy went to do something else,” he said with a laugh, ruffling his thick hair.
He shrugged him off. “I’m not. I just…it’s fine,” he said, flushing a shade of pink.
I sympathized with Charlie, even if not directly. He wasn’t the social butterfly Theo was, and he wasn’t as adaptable as Micah. Micah had ingratiated himself in the world of parties and frats so quickly that I almost couldn't believe he wasn’t always there.
Charlie took a deep breath, and I slung my arm around him. “Come on, man, you can hang out with me. I’m just going to sit at the bar here and drink, so you know, don’t feel obligated to talk or dance or whatever.” I grinned at him, trying to be as disarming as possible.
He nodded, a grateful smile appearing on his face. I led him to the bar, taking a seat in the corner. I ordered us another couple of drinks and glanced at the rest of the party. People were dancing and grinding against one another, some people eating or looking at their phones. Dylan was off near the DJ, absorbing the music as much as he could. Clouds dotted the sky, and if I looked for it, I could still see the city, but just as easily, I could focus on the surrounding water.
Refocusing on what was in front of me, I took a drink. “You okay? You about at your limit?” I asked, remembering Theo mentioning Charlie got overwhelmed when he had to be around too many people. Or something like that.
Charlie shook his head. “It’s okay so far. I do just…feel a little awkward sometimes without Theo next to me. That sounds pathetic, doesn’t it?”
I smiled a little. “No, it doesn’t. This isn’t your thing, I get it. We’re just assholes who do this all the time. So you know, totally fair. Theo is a comforting presence.”
Charlie nodded. “Something like that. I know he and Shane have had…well, their issues. So I’m glad that they’re able to get along and…dance together, I guess.” He laughed shyly.
There was something endearing about it. The way he cared so deeply for their friendship, even though it was an open secret he was terrified of Shane. A lot of people were, though. “Yeah, they always work it out.”
“That’s good. Theo cares a lot about him. They never…had a thing together?”
My eyebrows raised in surprise. “Uh…what?”
He shrugged, the pink color spreading over his cheeks again. “Sorry…that’s a personal question. But you know…they’ve always been so close…I just wonder sometimes if there was something there. Theo laughed when I asked before, but I don’t ever know if that’s because no or…I don’t know, yes?” He toyed with a napkin in front of him.
Of all the questions I could have predicted, that one wasn’t on the list. “Unless they hid it from all of us, I don’t think so.” Which was ironic, considering Dylan and I did that exact thing.
To my knowledge, though, Theo and Shane had always just been best friends. Nothing more, nothing less. That was why they were so intense with each other, that was why they cared so much about what each other thought. Sort of like Dylan and me, except Dylan and I accepted everything about each other, but I couldn’t tell Charlie that. Maybe that was a bad example given the relationship situation.
He nodded. “Yeah, I guess I didn’t think so. Just thought I’d ask.”
Was that true? If so, why did he ask? “You’re not like…having troubles, right?” It was a little awkward to ask, so I took another drink.
“Oh! No, no, nothing like that. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make that weird. I was just wondering, not because of like…being jealous or something.”
I nodded, and we both went back to our respective drinks. The silence was easier. I couldn’t go over to Dylan because I didn’t trust that I wouldn’t just try to maul him in front of everyone. I also couldn’t go hang out because then being friendly might get misconstrued as flirting. I was having a hard time figuring out a proper way to refuse without raising suspicion.
This secret shit was hard.